I gave birth today...
It’s nothing as ridiculous as getting pregnant then carrying the child for nine months in my male body (which obviously isn’t designed for this physiological process). It started as what I assumed was just a huge zit on my forehead. Over the course of the week, it kept growing until it was the size of a softball. Admittedly, this large growth on my head garnered some odd stares as I passed people in the halls at work.
My girlfriend had been on me to go see a doctor about it, but with my current medical insurance, I had to submit a request that was scheduled to be reviewed a week later for them to determine if it merited an appointment to be made for a month after that. I finally caved in and decided to make the call when the huge lump began to throb painfully. Every once in a while, the growth would spasm, and it felt like someone was kicking me in the head.
By the time I had decided to crawl to the phone to make the initial request for an appointment, the lump was about the size and shape of a watermelon. My neck muscles strained with the effort of keeping my head held up. Before I could reach the phone to dial, the growth burst open, spraying the walls and floor with blood and some miscellaneous viscera. After I wiped the gore from my eyes to restore my vision, I saw her standing just a few feet in front of me, my daughter.
She was about the size and shape of a one-month old infant. Her eyes were open and seemed fully aware as she took in her surroundings. Eventually her gaze fell up on me. I was dumbfounded by the innocent beauty of her twinkling brown eyes. She held her stubby little, blood covered arms toward me, and I rushed over to sweep her up into mine. As I stood there in the kitchen, looking down at my baby girl, I couldn’t help but think of how angry my girlfriend was going to be about the mess.
And then it happened. She smiled up at me with the sweetest expression on her face and said, “I will be the instrument of your destruction”. Upon hearing that, I wept with the joy of being a father. I decided to name her Thena.
DISCLAIMER: This is a completely fictitious journal that I am maintaining as a writing exercise. These entries are not meant to be factual in any regard. Read them and feel free to post your comments and/or questions.
My girlfriend had been on me to go see a doctor about it, but with my current medical insurance, I had to submit a request that was scheduled to be reviewed a week later for them to determine if it merited an appointment to be made for a month after that. I finally caved in and decided to make the call when the huge lump began to throb painfully. Every once in a while, the growth would spasm, and it felt like someone was kicking me in the head.
By the time I had decided to crawl to the phone to make the initial request for an appointment, the lump was about the size and shape of a watermelon. My neck muscles strained with the effort of keeping my head held up. Before I could reach the phone to dial, the growth burst open, spraying the walls and floor with blood and some miscellaneous viscera. After I wiped the gore from my eyes to restore my vision, I saw her standing just a few feet in front of me, my daughter.
She was about the size and shape of a one-month old infant. Her eyes were open and seemed fully aware as she took in her surroundings. Eventually her gaze fell up on me. I was dumbfounded by the innocent beauty of her twinkling brown eyes. She held her stubby little, blood covered arms toward me, and I rushed over to sweep her up into mine. As I stood there in the kitchen, looking down at my baby girl, I couldn’t help but think of how angry my girlfriend was going to be about the mess.
And then it happened. She smiled up at me with the sweetest expression on her face and said, “I will be the instrument of your destruction”. Upon hearing that, I wept with the joy of being a father. I decided to name her Thena.
DISCLAIMER: This is a completely fictitious journal that I am maintaining as a writing exercise. These entries are not meant to be factual in any regard. Read them and feel free to post your comments and/or questions.