I'm out to the most important people in my life (my aunt, online friends, etc.), which was awkward, but.. you know, what're you going to do? It worked out. My aunt loves my girlfriend and considers her a second niece, and everybody gets along and I love it
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That's awesome. :) My school is.. not so much on that, but it's in NYC so I guess most people aren't that bothered?
Ugh, seriously. The worst part is that my aunt and I (and my girlfriend!) are moving down to Kentucky next year for my aunt's work, and my mom wants to come get a house with my aunt there, and.. yeah, if that happens I'm going to have to tell my mom, otherwise things will be even more weird and awkward than usual. :\ idk what to do with that, but it's a few years away so for now I'm ignoring it.
Wrt my immediate family, I'm out to my mom, but she told me that she'd rather I date a man (I'm bi, fyi) and that I should choose to be straight. :( Idk how my dad would react.
At least my friends are more supportive. I just wish I could hang out with them in the city more, as opposed to living with my parents in Bumbletown, Suburbia. I get a lot of negative messages from my mom and dad about LGBTQI folk, bleh.
...I swear I didn't want to be a downer, but that's pretty much my story, lol.
I always feel a bit weird because my coming out story isn't all that cheerful and happy and I feel like people want happy stuff for coming out day (things are much better for me now though)
Your paragraph about the toxicity of being in the closet and thinking/knowing that if you came out to your family then you might not really have them as a family anymore really hits home for me. It's the reason I haven't come out yet to them, even though my friends know.
I think it's okay to not be out to ALL THE PEOPLE, just beware that it has its dangers, and that toxicity is one of them. If I'd known about it I probably could have mitigated it but I didn't even know.
I can relate to all that. I let my family figure it out which worked well for me. Except my mother had to protect my father from the news--when he learned I was with a woman, he was hurt that it had been a secret and truly did not give a fuck about any stigma.
It is a great relief to just be open and immediate. It felt like I took off a time delay filter I had in my brain and no longer had to worry about passing as "normal" all the time. And, yeah, when you're that careful, the emotionally cautious, it's a lot harder to get close to anyone. IME :)
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Ugh, seriously. The worst part is that my aunt and I (and my girlfriend!) are moving down to Kentucky next year for my aunt's work, and my mom wants to come get a house with my aunt there, and.. yeah, if that happens I'm going to have to tell my mom, otherwise things will be even more weird and awkward than usual. :\ idk what to do with that, but it's a few years away so for now I'm ignoring it.
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At least my friends are more supportive. I just wish I could hang out with them in the city more, as opposed to living with my parents in Bumbletown, Suburbia. I get a lot of negative messages from my mom and dad about LGBTQI folk, bleh.
...I swear I didn't want to be a downer, but that's pretty much my story, lol.
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Glad everything is shinier now :)
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It is a great relief to just be open and immediate. It felt like I took off a time delay filter I had in my brain and no longer had to worry about passing as "normal" all the time. And, yeah, when you're that careful, the emotionally cautious, it's a lot harder to get close to anyone. IME :)
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