John Mayer has a "reliability kink" and wants a wife.

[lovelylaura23]

Despite once proclaiming himself "America's ex-boyfriend," John Mayer thinks marriage sounds like a wonderland. He shares why he's ready right here: https://t.co/HKypUBWbBY pic.twitter.com/NlSt7S6zPu
- E! News (@enews) January 7, 2024

Comments

[holyfrijoles_2]

This just means he wants to marry a 22 year old influencer.

[flying_pandas]

a tradwife one

[sockymous]

According to DeuxMoi (yeah I know...), Kiernan Shipka has been on his tail and sighted with him on his tour pulling an Olivia Wilde for a while...

[nutellawhore]

his cab light is on!

SAC is never wrong

[pikapika217]

thinking about the bullet Jessica Simpson dodged, my lord

[distant_lines]

Didn't she move to Nashville for "values" more similar to hers? Honestly don't think I'd consider her better than him.

[hiimtish]

Nashville is a VERY different place than the rest of Tennessee (excluding Memphis) which is why the GOP gerrymandered the fuck out of it. If she moved to Franklin, TN THAT’S when I’d worry since that’s an actual conservative hotbed

[hiimtish]

Not to harp on but I did look up her comments (I didn’t even know she moved here lol). She was talking about the ‘values’ of living in a neighborly and musician-filled city. Which yeah, is exactly Nashville’s vibe

[iznanassi]

this is what people say and then start writing posts on reddit like "why did my wife leave me? i moved heaven and earth for her and PROVIDED except for [list of at least 10 easy things he did not do when asked and instructed by his wife]"

[distant_lines]

Like that dude recently who is so lost on why his fiancée is breaking up with him because he brought her a tuna sandwich while she was recovering from Covid and didn't feel like cooking, but she's allergic to tuna.

[iznanassi]

exact post i was thinking of, i'm convinced it's fake but it hit all the notes lol. like the "i had a 2 for 1 coupon so i just bought 2 of my favourite sandwich" element really pushed it over the edge.

[distant_lines]

I honestly assume pretty much all of those subs that revolve around stories are people practicing their creative writing skills. haha

[drasticigloo]

The phrase “David Duke cock” is burned into my memory 😵‍💫

[genbu_no_miko24]

"sexual napalm" to me. I think don't know if that was a compliment or a huge insult to Jessica Simpson?

[drasticigloo]

I guess he wanted an edgier way to say “fiery”??

[ostsiberia]

Nothing sexier than being compared to chemical war crimes.

[azaelers]

gag. barf.