06. Depressing!

[officercapslock]

Dear Diary!

I have been doing much reflecting as of late, and with the recent passing of Meekins Jr, I've realized that I'm completely, utterly and hopelessly alone, sir! It hit me like a ton of bricks, sir, and it hurt quite a bit. I'm starting to think that an actual ton of bricks would have been much better than this! This feeling of depressing

Comments

[acehighmarshall]

Well dogie, what kind of filly would you say's "right" for ya?

[officercapslock]

Oh, well, I don't know for sure, sir! I'd say someone who doesn't mind dating a bailiff, I guess. My standards aren't very high, sir.

[acehighmarshall]

Should be no hard task findin' one, then! Ladies love a man in uniform, don't you know?

[officercapslock]

Do they really, sir?! I wear my uniform everyday, and it might just be me, but the only people that love me are the neighborhood children, sir! They seem to be particularly fond of my megaphone...

[sparkofgenius]

Listen... have we met before? "Doesn't Seem Like The First Time We've Met," end quote.

But hey, as for your question, you could always try speed-dating! I did an article on it a while back and it seems pretty nifty!

[officercapslock]

I don't believe we have, sir! But it's an honor to meet your acquaintance! You sound like a real professional, sir.

Speed dating...?

[sparkofgenius]

Huh. You sure...? Seems like we have, yeah?

It's when a whole bunch of men and women get together and talk to each other for about two minutes each, and you arrange to make future dates with anyone who catches your interest. "Best Place For Love At First Sight," end quote.

[officercapslock]

"Love at first sight", sir? I suppose that IS a very quick and efficient way of meeting someone to date, but doesn't that seem a bit shallow, sir?

[sixpetals]

I'm sorry to hear you're experiencing such loneliness, sir. I admit I'm hardly experienced with matters of this sort, but if I have any advice to give, it's that love comes to you when you least expect it... Your twin flame is out there, and when the time is right, it will arrive. You may not need to search for it.

[wrightswrongs]

She's right; sometimes, love just finds you. You just have to be patient.

[sixpetals]

It's well worth the wait, too. Even if you weren't waiting... You'll be glad you didn't rush into anything.

[wrightswrongs]

Yeah. It'll be the most wonderful, beautiful, kindest woman in the world.

[sunny_delite]

Boy, I know exactly how you feel! I've been there, and I thought things were beyond hopeless for me..... so I couldn't BELIEVE it when the girl of my dreams LEAPED into my arms! Er, not literally, but there was this one time... well, that's another story. I'm married to her now and I couldn't be happier!!!

[officercapslock]

That is a beautiful story, Mr. DeLite! I, too, one day hope that I'll settle down with the girl of my dreams and live happily ever after like yourself, sir!

[delitefulwife]

Well now! First you have to be the most amazing man ever, and I think that'll be hard to pull off with my Ronnie in the running. Do your best, all right?

[sunny_delite]

I-is there some sort of contest going on I'm not aware of...?

[compromisedwin]

I... understand the position you're in... all too well. Just like you, I'm looking for... a steady, long term commitment... but I haven't had any luck so far...

I'm sorry... I don't have any advice for you.

[officercapslock]

I... I am very sorry, Miss. I know exactly how you feel! That feeling of sorrow, the fleeting hope slipping through your fingers as you grasp for the things most important to you...! I KNOW IT, SIR!

That's all right. Just having someone to share my thoughts with is plenty thoughtful, sir!

((you knew this was coming didn't you))

[compromisedwin]

...Yes...

...Would you like to share thoughts together... over coffee...?

lolllll

[officercapslock]

Are...

Would you happen to be casually and subtly asking me out on a date, miss?