06. Depressing!

[officercapslock]

Dear Diary!

I have been doing much reflecting as of late, and with the recent passing of Meekins Jr, I've realized that I'm completely, utterly and hopelessly alone, sir! It hit me like a ton of bricks, sir, and it hurt quite a bit. I'm starting to think that an actual ton of bricks would have been much better than this! This feeling of depressing

Comments

[acehighmarshall]

Well dogie, what kind of filly would you say's "right" for ya?

[officercapslock]

Oh, well, I don't know for sure, sir! I'd say someone who doesn't mind dating a bailiff, I guess. My standards aren't very high, sir.

[acehighmarshall]

Should be no hard task findin' one, then! Ladies love a man in uniform, don't you know?

[officercapslock]

Do they really, sir?! I wear my uniform everyday, and it might just be me, but the only people that love me are the neighborhood children, sir! They seem to be particularly fond of my megaphone...

[acehighmarshall]

You bet! Attracts 'em like flies to honey, it does, and that ain't no flack. Wish I could wear mine still, but it wouldn't be prudent.

'Course, I got no problems makin' a mash with the gals. It may could be the hat.

...Naw, all right, it's just me.

[officercapslock]

I mean this in a very platonic sense, but I agree with your whole-heartedly, sir! The cowboy hat does have a certain allure, and I wouldn't blame women for falling head over heels for you, sir!

[acehighmarshall]

Folks on the prowl got to show off what they got, pardner. In my case, it's a lil' thing called style. Not that I need it, but to make a nice gift look even nicer, better put a bow on it, y'hear?

[officercapslock]

Style...?

Perhaps this is something that I need, sir! STYLE. I mean, I know you said women like a man in uniform, but perhaps I need a little something different to make myself stand out from the average bailiff-dressed-as-an-officer, sir!

[acehighmarshall]

Hmm... What do you wear when you're outta uniform, anyhow?

[officercapslock]

Well, the only reason I would ever be out of uniform is usually when I am at home, sir! So my wardrobe is a little lacking, to say the least. It's... a little embarrassing to say, sir...

[acehighmarshall]

Can't be that bad, can it now? Tell me what you got.

[officercapslock]

It... it mostly consists of high-school tees, pants that are too short for my legs, and 2-for-10 sneakers, sir!!!