I'm stumbling through a haze in an attempt to find some light. I'm still ill and lord knows what the fuck my body is thinking or doing. I'm currently having difficulty breathing properly; I get chest pain everytime I breath. Then of course I have my dizziness and migraines and the usual crap that comes with this existance ( Read more... )

Or at least it will be. I flipped a huge shiznit yesterday when typing that entry. I'm sorry if I scared anybody. I wasn't contemplating suicide or anything I was just out of it and freaked out and just generally gone. But i'm back now ( Read more... )

I'm losing her... I feel it. It hurts my heart and cuts up my soul. She's giving up. Letting go. Pushing away. And there's nothing left for me to say or do. It's all in her hands now. My control is gone ( Read more... )

I feel like writing but am unsure of exactly what to say so bear with me as I babble ( Read more... )

I'm feeling very mellow. Half withdrawn and half crazy ( Read more... )

I looked at the academy website today. I knew that it would upset me but I did it anyway. It hurts a lot. It's one of those things I don't think about, but everytime I look at my empty resume I know. It's just another cross to bear. Yet another ( Read more... )

I hate holidays. Most of them are ridiculously stupid. I am happy to have time off of school but the concept of thanksgiving angers me ( Read more... )

I cannot control everything. I cannot be responsible for other people's decisions. I cannot save everybody. All I can do is take care of me. Breath in. Breath out. Breath in. Breath out. God this is so hard but there's nothing I can do so i'm just gonna let go. In. Out. In. Out. Time for bed. Grrrr.

Not that that's a new development but it's becoming oh so clear once again ( Read more... )

Got through all three periods today. Phew. I made myself. No was not an option ( Read more... )