The Cheese Legacy - Generation 5.6
1.1
2.1 | 2.2 | 2.3 | 2.4 | 2.5 | 2.6
3.1 | 3.2 | 3.3 | 3.4 | 3.5 | 3.6 | 3.7 | 3.8
4.1 | 4.2 | 4.3 | 4.4 | 4.5 | 4.6 | 4.7 | 4.8 | 4.9
5.1 | 5.2 | 5.3 | 5.4 | 5.5
Hello, world! Yes, it's me - the great and wonderful Danish Blue Cheese!
Handsome as hell.
Stronger than strong.
And incredibly made of win.
If you don't believe me, then check this out!
My awesomeness is such that Great-Auntie Gru's co-worker high-fived me the moment we arrived home.
Even though she's a girl, I've heard a sort of divine voice telling me to befriend this girl, as her genes could end up being useful to the family in the future or one such nonsense. Anyway, a chat with her has revealed that she has good taste and would indeed fit into the family.
As a downside, she can't take a punch.
We departed on friendly terms, though.
However, I started to wonder if the divine voice I heard would be kicking itself after accidentally overhearing my grandfather say, "You know, sweetheart, that girl who was here just now is as hot as a good piece of melting cheese."
Oh dear.
Still, I tried to put it out of my mind, and rushed on to my current big love: the sewing machine. Even if it kills me, I shall have a gold badge.
Anyway, I'm sure you want to know about my sisters (though I cannot possibly understand why, when you can have me!). They're still getting along just fine, and possibly trying to overthrown me as the most amazing item of this current generation.
Cheshire seems to have caffeine instead of blood, as she runs everywhere.
Yes, she runs even when she goes to bed. I have the feeling she might have one of the uneasiest sleeps ever, the way she's always fidgeting.
Morning came, and the girls were up and about once again.
Since it was a weekend, they decided to spend the morning playing chess.
"Hey, DG, look! It's my dad, and he's shirtless!"
"Ohmigod, where?!"
"Hehehee, sucker!"
As for me, I decided to spend some quality time with my elders - but unfortunately they can't take a punch either.
I also had a long, calming shower, which I want to share with you just so that you can see that I'm a walking work of art.
Speaking of walking works of art, this walked by.
Needless to say, I introduced myself...
...but I'm afraid he didn't really fit my requirements.
Said requirements are very important to me, as I want to be in a relationship just like my grandparents'.
"Oh, Apollo, that is so romantic!"
"Romantic, my foot! My back's killing me!"
Well, they have their ups and downs, but what couple doesn't have them?
But most of the time they are perfect.
"Well, honey, I'm afraid I'll have to go to work now."
"That's okay, darling. I'll try and distract myself from your absence by skipping some rope."
I had to leave too...
...which means the two of us missed DG's birthday.
Not that it matters, really. It's DG's birthday, not anything of real importance.
She's my age now, so she's at noogie reach. That's the only plus I can think of.
After she conspired against her thighs with a slice of cake...
...she decided to have a makeover. Personally, I cannot see any improvement.
And she then did some more bonding with Cheshire before everybody went to bed.
The next morning, I was awoken by Cheshire's infuriating attack on my poor defenceless eardrums. That violin should be classified as a dangerous weapon.
It was a Sunday, but I still had to go to work. Everybody else spent the day at home, though, relaxing and chatting.
My grandparents were still as adorable as ever together...
...when suddenly disaster struck.
"Apollo I, I have come for you."
"Aw, must it be now? I was about to make out with my wife!"
"I am afraid it cannot be postponed."
Needless to say, everybody was devastated.
Well, almost everybody.
"Activate musical databank. Let us sing a song in tribute to our departed Master Apollo, friends."
"I may be an infallibly good witch, but death just makes me want to SMASH THINGS UP!"
When we moved to this house, our departed relatives' graves were moved to the Springcheese Cemetery. However, we decided to set up the urns of Granddad and Great-Uncle Zeeshan in a newly-built room on the first floor, right next to Mum's study.
Everybody loved the big aquarium we put there to keep them company.
"Hello, fishies!"
Not that it made us forget that this was still a sad occasion.
When I returned home and heard the news, I was understandably shocked.
Great-Auntie Gru, however, took it quite well.
"Cracker's right. Let's have a song and dance!"
The next morning found Grandma walking around the house looking forlorn...
...and having sad thoughts.
"Do you think our time will be coming soon as well, Gru?"
"Chill, dude, you're depressing me."
Mum, on the other hand, was strutting all over the place in her underwear.
I thought Henry had anything to do with it, as he showed up at some point, but he had other things in mind.
"You! Tin box? Why the hell are you spying on me?"
"[upset]Tin... tin box? Did you just call me tin box, Master Henry?"
"Your aggressive levels are too high for my sensitive circuitry![/upset]"
"Now don't you try that 'sensitive circuitry' act on me."
"Colloquial utterance: damn."
"Mistress Gru, look at this. A human has just left this strange piece of machinery on our doorstep."
"That's nice, Crackers. Now I must get inside before I freeze my butt off."
That piece of machinery turned out to be a magical lamp. Crackers took the chance and asked for some piece of mind, as she was getting frustrated with the lack of opportunities to fulfil all of her wishes.
"Man, it's hard to play this stupid guitar today!"
Of course it is, dingbat. You're wearing thick gloves!
"Finally! I have an A+ too!"
"Crackers, Crackers! Look at this!"
"[excited]Congratulations for filling your databank with relevant information, Mistress Cheshire![/excited]"
Then, it was time for DG to leave to work and...
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
I'm sorry, but...
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. And she said my work clothes were ridiculous.
"Oh, go to hell, big brother."
Ahem. Anyway, as I was saying, DG went to work. A few hours later, Mum arrived with excellent news. She was now a world-famous artist, having reached the top of her career.
And how did she decide to commemorate it? Well...
"Henry. Come here now."
Without saying a single word, they both rushed to the hot tub the moment he arrived.
While this was happening, the child they had together sat in front of the TV with a big smile on her face.
"Mummy loves my daddy, and not the daddies of my older siblings. I am awesome."
Poor, delusional Cheshire.
After doing whatever she was doing (and which I just do NOT want to know), Mum decided to spend some time with her daughters...
...while Henry soaked in the hot tub a little bit more.
DG then spent some time keeping Grandma entertained...
...including joining her on a dinner meal of grilled cheese sandwich. I'm not sure she helped Grandma feel better, though, since the faces she makes when she eats are enough to frighten the bejeebus of anyone.
Eventually, Henry got out of the tub and said his goodbyes. Pity. I would have loved to see if he'd shrivel like a prune.
"Ooh, Henry is sooo hot."
Yes, Mum. We know.
Anyway, the next day, people went to school or to work, people came back from school or from work, blah blah blah.
And in the evening, death dropped by again.
"Gruyère Cheese..."
"Oh, shit. I was hoping you were here for Lippy."
"You are the older sister, my dear. You're first. But don't worry, I'll come for her soon. Meanwhile, here's a complimentary drink, courtesy of the Heaven Spa & Hotel."
"Booze? Now that I don't mind."
"Now come. Your loved ones away you on the other side, and tonight we have cabaret."
Again, everybody was distressed.
Well, with one exception.
"Hee, death was here again!"
Actually, make that two exceptions.
"Yay, I'm dead! I can haunt people now!"