The Cheese Legacy - Generation 4.8
1.1
2.1 | 2.2 | 2.3 | 2.4 | 2.5 | 2.6
3.1 | 3.2 | 3.3 | 3.4 | 3.5 | 3.6 | 3.7 | 3.8
4.1 | 4.2 | 4.3 | 4.4 | 4.5 | 4.6 | 4.7
The McCrimmon Dorms - our home for the next four years.
And who am I? Yes, it's your old friend, Brie Cheese - all grown up and ready to face college life.
Red Leicester is here as well...
...as are Red Windsor...
...and Gouda.
(Yes, that's Gouda. And before you think of making any cracks about how he looks now that he's reached adulthood, keep in mind that I'm his older sister and I have a really great right hook.)
A quick trip to the nearest store, and we were ready.
The moment we got back to the dorms, Gouda and Red Leicester began to be disturbing.
But don't let appearances misguide you - it was all innocent and not at all incestuous.
"Yay, I made a best friend!"
We share the place with 11 more students - some of them rather... interesting people.
"Omygod you are the new dormies! Omygod OMYGOD! I'm Princess, hi! I'm so EXCITED to meet you!"
Moving along...
Needless to say, Red Leicester lost no time in trying to make out with all the male dormies.
"Here, Pierce. This is for you."
"For me? Really?"
Just look at her face. I'm glad I'm family and female - I'd hate to be one of her victims.
Where were we while all of this was taking place? Outside, playing kicky bag. Yes, we are sophisticated adults.
Anyway, Red Leicester and Pierce decided to step inside the photo booth...
...and did not get out until after sunset.
"Wow, Red Leicester. You have such wonderful... eyes."
"Erm, you're not related to a Laurence Madrigal, by any chance?"
"Hey there, mate, can I have a go too?"
"Just wait in line."
But college life for my dear cousin did not focus solely on woohoo. She also read porn...
...and played games with boys.
The rest of us had to spend our early college days sleeping in lonely single beds...
...and occupy ourselves with oh-so-exciting tasks.
Not that those early days lacked excitement, of course.
"Psst, Gouda. Don't look now, but that chick with the kimono is checking you out."
"What? You're kidding."
"Hey there, handsome. The name's Adrienne. I've heard that guys with big lips are also well-endowed in some other areas, and I'm curious to know if it's true."
"This... this is not a prank, is it?"
"Omygod, I'd like to know about that business with the balls too!"
"Hee, I think this might be my lucky day!"
"Well, I for once am not interested in the content of your pants."
"Meh. Who asked you?"
"Soo, Princess... Have you ever thought of doing... you know..."
"OMYGOD YES! That would be... oh, I don't know, neat or something!"
"Bitch is trying to steal my man. Well, I won't go down without a fight."
"You know, Gouda, I'd pay to do that with you."
"OH. Well, I... I really don't know what to say to that."
Meanwhile, Red Windsor wasn't becoming very popular amongst the female population in our dorms. Not that he'd mind when it comes to romance, obviously, but it's always nice to have someone willing to play chess with us.
As for me... unlucky at games, unlucky at love.
"I lost another game! WHY, GOD, WHY?"
Meanwhile, Red Leicester carried on as usual.
"Er, you guys are aware there's people trying to study here, aren't you?"
"Oh, forget it. I saw nothing, I know nothing."
"What about you, Fidelis? Are you seeing anything?"
"Nope, not a thing. It's just the two of us in here, studying for our finals."
But in spite of her boy obsession, it's not difficult to show her where her priorities should lie.
"You know, Les, if you really want to make every guy in the dorm happy, there's a much easier way to do it."
"Oh God, you're right!"
"Grilled cheese for everyone! Get yours while it's still hot!"
"Don't let Gouda's prospective girlfriends know about this, but that thing about big lips and balls? Pure myth."
"God, sis, please tell me the big lips story still applies to other bits!"
Gouda's girls, luckily, were unaware of this revelation. As a result, his ego was very strong and nurtured. He became the dorm's resident rock star...
...felt bold enough to go to classes in his underwear...
...and overall did everything, including private moments like showering, with a smile on his face.
Speaking on showering, one day I had the scare of a lifetime when Red Windsor decided to flush the toiled while I was in the shower.
"RED WINDSOR CHEESE! How DARE you do such a thing when your cousin - your own flesh and blood...!"
"Erm, Brie, I'm right over here. But keep on shouting at me from where you're standing, while I'll go get myself a snack."
The shock was such that I spent the rest of the morning with the strange feeling that there was a cow right behind me playing my brother's guitar. I must have been hallucinating.
Around that time, Red Leicester started to occupy herself with two new hobbies: angry underwear computer-playing...
...and angry underwear guitar.
No, I don't get it either, but whatever makes her happy.
Red Windsor, fed up with being alone and single, decided to contact the matchmaker.
"Oh, matchmaker. I want a tall and handsome man to keep me warm at night."
"Let's see what I can find here..."
Bachelor #1 turned out to be one of my mother's old rejects. Needless to say, he got kicked out the moment he showed up.
As for Bachelor #2...
A bald dude who looks just like my dad. Needless to say, he got rejected as well.
Being a masochist, Red Windsor was willing to try out the matchmaker one more time - but luckily for his sanity (and our finances) the hag left before he could approach her.
"Hehee, hiring a stupid matchmaker! What a loser!"
Thank you, Miss Postlady who torments us with bills.
Meanwhile, Red Leicester had an unexpected visit.
"Little Red Les! I've heard that you're all grown up, and so I just had to come and visit you!"
"Oh, er, hi Henry."
"I'm so glad you've showed up, Henry. Here, this is for you."
"For me?"
"Wow, this is the first time I receive one of these, rather than being the one giving them."
"I have learned with the master."
If Henry is the master, then I guess that would make this the graduation party.
"That was totally my first time doing this."
"I bet you say that to all the girls."
Still disappointed by the matchmaker but nevertheless eager to get some, Red Windsor decided to call up his friend Ramiro, whom he met briefly when we went shopping for clothes on our very first day and who since then has been phoning every day. That sounds like someone's interested, doesn't it?
Yep, definitely interested.
"I hope you like balls, Ramiro."
"Are you kidding? I like them way better than this delicious burnt chilli."
"You know, I'd love to paint your portrait. I'd call it 'Nude with Anime Eyes'."
But sadly, there was still a long way to go before Red Windsor could get some action.
"He... he refused to kiss me! Waaaaah!"
Meanwhile, I had my eyes on someone as well. Remember my study buddy Fidelis? Well, not only is he hot...
...he's also considerate to starving artists...
...and he has excellent taste.
Before I knew it, we were already kissing...
...among other things.
The speed in which our relationship blossomed might be explained by the fact that I had one of the best experts giving me tips.
Things were also going well for Gouda.
"You know, Princess, I think you're cool."
"Omygod, really? Teehee."
Aw, young love.
"I think I have a new best friend!"
Princess' shy and demure attitude is just an act, of course.
"Forget best friends - I think I'm in love!"
"Growr, baby!"
My baby brother, ladies and gentlemen, king of sophistication.
And what does Princess' rival has to say about losing the right to Gouda's heart?
"Don't worry, my pretties, I shall be in this legacy some day - whether you want it or not."
The next morning, Henry Dork came back. Red Leicester had left for classes (in her underwear - quelle surprise!) so he just stood there like an idiot, waiting, until she came back.
"He's right behind me, isn't he?"
"Well, I know just what to do when faced with a creepy stalker. HI, HENRY!"
"Eek!"
You can guess what followed.
Afterwards, she paid me fifty simoleons to play a romantic tune while they made out.
This succession of events made Red Windsor come to a conclusion. "Ramiro, get your butt here right this instant!"
"You. Me. Naked. Now."
"Ooh, I like it when you're bossy."
The blunt approach seems to work better on Ramiro than being sweet and romantic...
...as you can see.
"What's that, Professor? What noise? Oh, that's just my cousin woohooing with his boyfriend on the couch."
"Now, sorry to shag and run, Ramiro, but I have classes to attend. See you around sometimes."
"Oh, he's so dreamy!"
"Hi, naked chick. Sorry to ignore you, but I'm about to have a nutritious bowl of burnt chilli."
Meanwhile, I was still playing. Brie Cheese, hardcore guitar goddess.
And Red Leicester and Gouda faced a clash of ideologies.
"F*** Harry Potter! The books suck, the movies suck, and YOU SUCK!"
"Oh, shut up, Les. What do you know? Harry Potter rocks!"
Red Leicester promptly decided to leave the dorms and travel all over Springcheese in search of someone something to do.
"Crackers! What are you doing here?"
"Just studying the local fauna, Mistress Red Leicester."
Red Leicester also did some fauna studies of her own, as the nightclub's waiter can confirm.
Specimen #1.
Specimen #2.
And specimen #3.
"Man, I want some more tonsil-tasting of my own!"
"Wait your turn like everybody else."
"Kickass program activated."
"Man, did you kiss that Cheese chick?"
"Sure did. Awesome, isn't it?"
Red Leicester moved on to other spots downtown...
...where she engaged in some risky woohooing...
...with Mrs. Crumblebottom right next door.
"Hmm, my spidey senses are tingling. I wonder why..."
And once she returned home, she got her hands on another of our dormmates.
Not even the llama mascot was immune to her charms - though her having to leave for her classes stopped her from discovering what's hiding underneath the mask.
As for the rest of us, we were contented with having just one mate, and being all gushy about it.
But all good things come to an end, and so soon it was graduation time.
We didn't want a graduation party or a fuss, so one by one we packed...
...changed...
...and departed.
Look out world, here we come!