The Dork Legacy 8.1
Previously, on The Dork Legacy:
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Shortly after breaking my heart, last time, Henry decided that I was at least worth making out with.
Katu: ^o^ don't fucking drop me
Katu: So do you like harps? I've always wanted to play one. Cuz, like, Harpo Marx was totally awesome!
Henry: She's boring. I like that.
Katu: You do? *plus*
NUH UH Q. I LET YOU GET AWAY WITH A LOT OF SHIT BUT I GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE. LET ME HAVE MY HAPPINESS.
Katu: Whoa, did you just kiss me?
Henry: You bet I did, sexy.
Katu: Hold on! You're interrupting my groove! I'm trying to dance!
Henry: You know you want it. Come on, pucker up.
>.> KATU.
Henry: Oh, I love it when you play hard to get! (apparently)
Katu: No, it's just like, okay, fine, your breath is just kind of...peanut buttery.
Henry: But we just made out a second ago!
Katu: I know, I know. But just...look, I think I have a tic tac in my purse.
Henry: Is she serious?
Totally serious. I hate peanut butter breath. *nods sagely*
Katu: Much better now.
And now, for some loving staring-into-each-others'-eyes:
Katu and Henry: O_O
Are we like, mind melding or something?
OH HO HO. Juggling on a date, eh? I am such a kooky free spirit! Get ready for some Dharma and Greg up in here.
>.> Seriously, juggling? Can't wait to date ME.
Classic dancing is a little more acceptable.
Katu: Okay, now get naked and let's do this.
Henry: What?
So much for hard to get, Katu.
That's a little better.
Since I am a SENTIMENTAL NOOB, I refused to use ACR, which meant that I had to get them to fall in love first.
I have standards, okay?
It didn't take long, regardless.
Henry: OMG THAT WAS AWESOME. XD
Katu: ...
Henry: That was totally my first time doing this. :D
Katu: Bullshit. :D
Henry: Now your hair's in my face.
Katu: *snores loudly*
Sadly, I probably look much worse than this when I wake up in the morning.
Yeah.
(lol my sweater makes me look xbox hueg)
Yep. Spend the last three hours sleeping = dream date.
Three guesses what happened in the second I was elsewhere on the lot?
Goddamn, dude. You must have a penis of steel or something.
Great. I don't even know what to do with this.
Obviously those three bolts need to be taken care of. So I changed GlaDos to...Fortune/Family.
And then noticed that somehow she got pudgy. Which is adorable, but wtf, you are a robot.
Then I changed Henry's turn-ons to brown hair and makeup (COUGH), and his turn-off to Servos.
GlaDos is now attracted to old guys with great jobs, and turned off by black hair.
This isn't working.
I had Henry start an argument, but they ended up gaining more points than they lost...
So there was only one thing left to do.
Sorry, GlaDos, honey. I can't have you ruining Henry's marriage(s?).
I moved her to the upstairs walk-in closet for safekeeping.
And sent Henry out in his undies to get that LTW.
ACR makes this so easy it feels like cheating.
Of course, it is cheating. But still.
Blond Townie: *watches*
Brunette: Ooh, call me sometime!
rofl.
VARYING DEGREES OF WANT.
Yeah. Henry definitely has some kind of magnetism. This shit ain't natural.
FOR THE LAST TIME, NO.
Henry: Get along as well as you and I? But I'm about to make out with you...O.o
He's true to his word.
LET'S PLAY KICKY BAG RIGHT HERE GUYS. YEAH, GOOD SPOT!
Awww, but - but - !
Henry: NO.
OH HAI POLONA. <3
Sadly, that arrow is pointing to where Henry is.
Missed Connections:
You were beautiful, walking past the park. You fanned yourself in the summer heat. I was across the park, fucking another girl. If you see this, please email me at ihaventdidthewoohooyet@canidothewoohoonowplease.com.
Supposedly I had a witty caption for this.
I guess Henry has a taste for robots.
Chuu: Glute grasping program, engage!
Hahaha, that dude in the back is totally flabbergasted.
Henry: You know, I don't often get to say this, but that's a great chassis you got there.
(sorry, i went there)
Henry's Butt: *is incredibly round*
YES.
Henry: God, I'm tired.
I can't say I blame you! But he was one makeout short of his make out with 20 people want.
So Lister's ex-girlfriend seemed like a good enough candidate.
Sweet! Remind me to start making out with random people.
ZOMG GUYS HE IS PEEING IN THE BUSHES I HAVE NEVER SEEN THIS BEFORE (MICHAEL PEET DOESN'T COUNT)!!!
With the ladies deflowered and the flowers thoroughly peed on, it was time to head home.
Okay, well, let me just say that this is YOUR FAULT FOR ENCOURAGING ME, OKAY.
SO IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT...
Pffff! I wish!
Hahaha, YES. I think that can be arranged.
Henry is pretty pleased with my decision, apparently.
Henry: Okay. So. I'm going to have sex with you now. But please don't make any God of War sex minigame jokes this time, okay?
Katu: I thought you liked those...
DIETER DON'T GET OLD AND DIE. D:
New clothes! That first skirt was FAR too short.
SO much better than finger gunning.
Henry: *prepares fish. glows*
Me: *swoons*
Katu: You need to get through the Valkurm Dunes? Only 10k an hour!
Katu: So now that I have a job, I'd like to take a few days off to play video games. Get me pregnant.
Henry: Not that I'm complaining, but don't you...play video games at work?
Katu: Just shut up and let's do it.
~faces of love~
Bing, a ding ding, DING DING.
I changed mah clothes again.
I am trying to take a picture of you! Stop hiding!
Katu: But I'm fat.
Shut up and stand still.
Awww, poor Harker. As promised, with Henry's LTW out of the way, it was time to start on Harker's.
I sent her to about five community lots where she didn't like ANYONE. Finally I had to change her turn ons to something sane (she had, like, jewelery and plant sims or something ridiculous).
So when she met this guy, and actually liked him, I was TICKLED PINK.
But naturally he disappeared right after that. :(
So she went back home.
And I pruned my Downloads folder a bit.
And came back to find out that there was something wrong with the lot. I was intending to build the Dorks a business on the front lawn, but every time I tried to build wall or foundation, The Application Had Crashed. The Application Would Then Terminate.
So I burninated the afflicted area.
And discovered that placing the Stuck Object Remover on a shelf will just...leave it there. >.>
And sadly, that is the furthest I have gotten, due to real life and other such things.
So, see you next time! Possible Potts update tomorrow!