The Cheese Legacy - Generation 3.5
1.1
2.1 | 2.2 | 2.3 | 2.4 | 2.5 | 2.6
3.1 | 3.2 | 3.3 | 3.4
[greeting mode]
Salutations. I am Crackers N. Cheese, the household servo robot. It will be my function to narrate the recent events of the Cheese family this time.
[/greeting mode]
[descriptive mode]
First of all, there's the youngest human, Mistress Lancashire. She is at the formative stage known as "toddler".
Apparently said formative stage implies manipulation of geometrical objects for enhancement of dexterity...
...and the exchange of silly facial expressions and behaviour with the more advanced stages for recreational purposes.
Other interactions with the advanced stages are meant to transmit physical and mental abilities that this early stage has not developed yet.
[parenthesis] Kindly note the presence of female human external to family, codename Pryia Ramaswani, enjoying the household's recreational mind-altering device. Ramaswani entity makes herself present on a regular basis and takes full advantage of the objects belonging to household, especially this one. If the reader of this report pays close attention, he/she/it will notice a constant repetition of this situation in the background.[/parenthesis]
It should be noted that lack of fuel will lead to Mistress Lancashire displaying loud and furious behaviour, generally known as "temper tantrum."
Next we have the male part of a half-human pair of household members, this one known as Master Jarlsberger. After the strenuous transition from the toddler stage to the immediate level (also known as "childhood") Master Jarlsberger recharged energies on human parent's energizer chamber (also known as "bed") but was considerate enough to restore it to its original shape the moment his energies were replenished.
He then advanced to the nearby mirror device and proceeded to change his hairstyle into something he felt was more "him". I shall effectuate query on what that means.
This is the other half of the half-human pair, otherwise known as Mistress Liptauer.
She shares recharging unit with half-sibling Mistress Gru.
Like the rest of the family, the two of them enjoy developing their logic skills through the use of an entertainment device known as "chessboard", which I approve, as I was built by logic.
Unfortunately, humans tend to use an illogical strategy known as "cheating" to advance on this game.
When discovered, the breaking of rules tends to cause disturbance in the ties between household members.
In order to mend said ties, I suggested to Mistresses Gru and Liptauer that they should entertain themselves with a device built by my creator, Mistress Bianca, and which had not been used yet.
I did not come closer to the device, as the water it expels could damage my circuits, but even from a distance I could see the experience was a huge success.
And very soon, the rest of the household joined in around the device as well.
Later on, Mistress Liptauer decided to use the household telescope to search for her non-human offspring.
Unfortunately, she aimed it incorrectly.
"Damn, all I get are flamingos!"
The head of the household, Master John, later decided to try it out as well.
"Hehee, let's see what our neighbours are up to..."
"I wonder what that Cyd Roseland fellow is up to- EW!"
"Did I just see what I think I saw?"
"Why, yes I did! Hihihihihi!"
The entity known as Cyd Roseland did not enjoy being spied on, and went to complain to Master Tilsit.
"Listen, you freak! I don't care how bloody famous you all are, I don't like people invading my privacy, all right?"
"And that goes for your old man as well!"
"Listen, buddy, if you don't like people seeing what you do to your dog, buy some freaking curtains!"
"And next time you poke me, I'll stick your finger where the sun doesn't shine, all right? Now get the hell out of my house!"
I should point out that Master Tilsit shows great dexterity in the use of the melody-making machine.
So does Master John, to the point that Mistress Gru will invariably find herself doing artistic body movements whenever he's using it.
Returning to the subject of Mistress Gru, when she reached the end of the childhood stage she was a accomplished unit, generally displaying what humans call "happiness" and what we servos call "platinum level".
Therefore, Mistress Gru was very happy and optimistic during the upgrading ceremony known as "birthday".
"I want a pony, and a Smarbie doll, and a pink mountain bike, and a poster with a cartoony penguin, and-"
Everybody present at the ceremony was displaying equal optimism and excitement.
Unsurprisingly, the upgrading was a success.
"Omigosh - I'm tall!"
"And I've got booooooooooooooobs..."
Mistress Gru had now reached the "teen" stage, with her biodata now focused on material possessions and financial gain.
The moment she reached this new change, she decided to apply on her face something humans known as "make-up", with the intention of looking older than she was. I'm afraid to say that my programming regarding aesthetics feels that the way she has applied this make-up is reminiscent of circus clowns.
Part of this might be connected with her refusal to change her hairstyle so far, which I believe not only sabotages her intention to look older but also makes it look like her follicular appendages have a mind of their own.
Mistress Emmental, the other teen unit, is now obsessed with a recreational occupation known as "punch-you punch-me", and is always suggesting to the two older humans to join her in its application.
It is my sincere belief that she should consider the possibility of following a career in boxing in the near future.
And when she's not playing it, she's watching boxing matches in the company of Master Tilsit.
And returning to the subject of Master Tilsit, it should be noted that he has reached the highest point in his profession and is now considered the most famous movie star in the simworld.
The first one to congratulate him on this achievement was Master Jarlsberger.
"Hyia, Dad! Did you know you're my best friend?"
And now that he's at this high level in his career, he leaves to work in a transportation known as helicopter. I doubt it is very secure - not because of it being airborne...
...but because the pilot of this particular helicopter seems to be the pseudo-human entity known as Amy Winehouse. Mistress Bianca has told me that the Winehouse creature also drove her and Master John on a disastrous tour during their recreational journey to the mountains, which leads me to believe she might be stalking this household.
Meanwhile, the rest of the family keeps on prospering. Master Jarlsberger achieved the highest academical rank...
"Dad! Dad! I got an A+!"
"Yay, that's my boy!"
...as did Mistress Liptauer.
"Daddy, Daddy! I got an A+ too!"
"That's my little princess! I knew you could do it!"
I a surprised they had achieved this, considering the numerous distractions that seem to follow them.
"Do you guys mind? I'm trying to study here!"
Besides working, the half-humans also enjoy the building of emotional bonds with the small dog creature they keep in a pen.
"Who's my cute little Cheeseburger? You are! Yes, you are!"
I fear that Master Jarlsberger might take his affection for the dog creature too far.
"Hey, Cheeseburger, look at what I can do! Isn't it neat?"
When not studying or playing with the dog creature, Master Jarlsberger spends his time with another regular visitor - a small female human with big hair and no chin called Devi, whom I've been told has shown up regularly for years and has so far shown no signs of being touched by the laws of time.
Curious, Master Jarlsberger decided to effectuate a query on this matter.
"Sooooo... Dad tells me you were in his class when he was our age. Don't you grow up?"
"Hell, no! I'm like Peter Pan, man. Growing up scares me!"
This does not seem to be a trouble with the Cheese family, though, as everybody seems to enjoy the upgrading ceremonies. The latest one was held for Mistress Lancashire.
And, as before, it was a successful event.
Mistress Lancashire has now left the toddler stage and is officially a child. We shall hope she will be as successful in it as the rest of the family.
[/descriptive mode]