Shitty Things People Say Part The Millionth

[naamah_darling]

This is just tremendously depressing to me. And this.

I don't understand why people think bullying is just part of life. Everyone experiences being pushed around, but the way we as a culture just accept this kind of thing to the point that children are committing suicide because of it . . . that's sick.

It's sick the way that the victims are

Comments

[boobalah]

I am willing to bet anything, anything you care to name, that both of those children, and the others who have killed themselves this year alone, were each and every one told that sticks and stones might break their bones, but words could never hurt them. I am willing to bet my house that those children were repeatedly told to just ignore what was being done to them. At eleven. When we are all so incredibly capable of ignoring things like daily pain.

Of course they are; I was told that CONSTANTLY.

[manycolored]

Yes to all this.

I was bullied, but what affects me more *now* is I was taught to respond to it. Ignore it, turn the other cheek, try to feel sorry for them... To this day, I don't know how to stand up for myself. I'll remember too late that I was supposed to defend myself, or I'll overreact to what I imagine is coming, or I'll just overdo it, or I'll feel like I'm making an ass of myself so I stumble over my own intentions. Still, I keep trying. Damned if I'll live my whole life like I lived the first few decades of it!

[boobalah]

I was lucky that my parents got me out of there when I was 13. It still took until this year (at 20!) to stop walking around in public hunched over and looking at the ground and walking at the edges of the hallway.

[notorious_oit]

I still do that at 31. It really doesn't get any easier with time.

[okami_myrrhibis]

You are turning the kid loose to deal with his own pain at an age when he is not capable of doing that.The other frequent "option" that the child sees - is to in turn BECOME the bully. Often looking at the at-home environment, or surrounding behaviors of a bully - you see disrespect,name-calling & such there

[witch_wolf]

I always hated when people said it's so gay... Whatever that means.

The article is just to upsetting for me to fathom. One word from parents to the little assholes or for that matter from a teacher and this shit would have ended. They like the shit for brains mother who created a myspace account to harsh a girl that was no longer friends for her daughter.

Stupid. Plain Stupid. All those Bullies that contributed to his death need to be punished -- need to know that they committed murder even if they didn't hang the boy, and need to know for the rest of their lives that they took a life because of their hate.

[gipsieee]

Do you really want to give them a point of view that says, "You wanted power, and you got it. Just look how powerful you are, you killed someone!"?

Your model only works if the bullies already believe that killing is wrong. And that is not an assumption I'm willing to make.

[apocalypticbob]

I am not saying that you are wrong. I don't think you are. I think you are absolutely right

[roq]

Go into the school and speak to the principals. Get all of them together if you can. Raise holy hell. Don't call it bulling, call it hazing. Get in touch with the investigative reporters in your area and hound them until they care enough to broadcast the people in charge's apathy on the 11 o'clock news. Call the principals every damn day if necessary. Make yourself a nuisance. Make it so that the only way they will get you off their back is if they fucking do something. Play this up as a school shooting waiting to happen.

In short, bully them, since they seem to think it's so damn normal.

[flewellyn]

I 6.02 * 10^23 this.

[kyra_neko_rei]

Love him, in such manner that he knows---in a real and visceral sense, not just an abstract way---that he is loved. That's the most important thing. Find the things you're proud of about him and make sure he knows about them. Things that may seem obvious to you, that you might expect him to take for granted, might not always be completely clear to a child suffering from self-esteem issues (which bullying tends to exacerbate).

Remove from your vocabulary toward him anything that even hints at the word "just" or "deal with it" or "live with it" in "ignore it." While ignoring it is indeed the goal, it often has a different meaning in the mind of a bullied child. You want him to ignore arrows because they're bouncing off of him, not ignore them sticking through him.

So talk with him, and let him talk; let him know he can let out all the hurt he's feeling to you, without you accidentally giving the impression that it should be easily shrugged off. Let him pour out all the hurt and fear and helplessness he's comfortable sharing with

[jlsigman]

Just wanted to add that yeah, I'm one of those kids who was expected to just deal with it. So, since I was supposed to ignore what people thought of me, I ignored ALL things people thought of me, good or bad. It's taken a lot of years to accept any kind of praise at all.

[ravan]

This. "Just ignore it" - to stop the hurt, I had to ignore what others thought. I already hated myself, I couldn't stand to look in a mirror. Seriously, it wasn't until ten years after high school that I could look in a mirror and not have "ugly" run through my head, because that was what I was told by anyone who was popular and important. Even my mother just said "diet", "wear makeup".

Fuck that shit.

[notorious_oit]

My mother literally FORCED makeup on me and did my hair every morning until my junior year of high school, when I finally insisted on cutting my waist-long hair into a chin-length bob just so she'd leave me alone. And the things she said to me! "Your ass looks like a hippo's in those pants. Change them now." "Why don't you ever do anything with your hair? Take some pride in your appearance! Here, let me fix it. You look like a boy with your hair slopped back in a ponytail." "What the hell is wrong with you? A C on your report card? I swear I'm going to have you fucking lobotomized if you keep this shit up." "*sigh* You were so cute when you were little." "Why don't you smile more?"

My god, it's a wonder I DIDN'T kill myself as a teen. To this day, I hate having my picture taken or looking into mirrors or even looking at people when I talk to them.

[naamah_darling]

There's a connection I hadn't made. WOW.