night caps

[much_ado]

matthew and i engaged the processes tonight, and covered some valuable ground.

Comments

[the_nita]

Read this this morning before my bath. Went "Okay - so you want me to kick your ass as needed."

"hurh - no, wants me to help her kick her own ass"

"mmm...no. Wants me to ask her if she's aware she needs to kick her own ass."

I'm fairly sure I get what you want from me. But apparently my not-quite-kick-started brain has difficulty putting it in coherent words.

But as always, sure thing, babe. (sudden very wry giggling) And I suspect I'm better with confrontation than Matthew. *snort*

[xiphia]

*giggles* Damn it woman, why don't you live closer? Anyone who cracks me up this badly before coffee is someone I definitely want to get to know better.

[the_nita]

*florid bow*

I'm good at being amusing when I'm being self-mocking of my barely-awake brain....

[much_ado]

in some ways, the *cats* are better at confrontation that matthew, who consistently fails to pee on my laundry when i don't meet his needs for a clean crapper ;-)

[pyrategrrl]

as i told my DH, "there will never be a day when we are all *done* and can *stop* having these sorts of conversations."

He didn't like it much either. *smooch* But truly, if these sorts of discussions/confontations(sorta) *stop*. To me it means either we've reached a point of "giving up" or some other sort of realtionship killing stasis.

Love is a dynamic process, as well as a state of being. IMHO.

Good stuff, thank you for writing!

[suburban_mom]

this post is really, really interesting. please, correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds like you're wanting to sew up those grey areas completely with rules, and agreements and processes. Hoping perhaps that with enough structure, your weasles won't run wild?

[much_ado]

not more rules and legislation, no

[suburban_mom]

in part so matthew has a better understanding of what i'm likely to do, and how i'm trying to evolve those behaviours, to shape his own expectations accordingly

and vice versa i assume?

[much_ado]

ideally, yes, though we haven't had to deal with his errant, worldview-jarring behaviours nearly as often as we've had to deal with mine :-/

[bittibuddha]

I recommend all your friends print out the relevant section and laminate it to slip into their wallets for the day (somewhere in the future) that they step up and (gently/non-confrontationally/lovingly) call you on something. :)

I know it can be hard to feel like you're making progress when so many folks just want to pat you on the back for progress that may just be Super-Rationalization-Fu spinning a good story, when in fact, a gentle nudge for a reality-check is what is REALLY needed to keep moving forward. Its why I am thankful to God and Heaven that M&Q don't let me get away with shit anymore. I think I could have taken the gold in the "see how blameless i am?" games. Its hard(hardhardhard). but it is ::necessary::

ah, irony, why aren't you made of iron?
keep going.

[xiphia]

Some very interesting food for thought here. Luck and love to both of you, I have faith your perseverence will pay off.