What the fuck am I doing in life? look around...I haven't accomplished shit in this world. I am the same person I was 4 years ago, who was i fooling? I am 3-4 years behind everyone when it comes to school, a job, and life stability. I fucking hate the way shit is going for me right now and I know that it is all because I keep making fucked up ( Read more... )

Everything’s Magic.                                           
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first, im proud of myself for not giving into temptation tonight. well, i kinda didnt give in. i was about to make a disaster out of a mess. but i gave it a re-thinkin' and i decided to make a change of plans. i just had to get it out there...im proud. 
now, i gotta go. i get the house this weekend all to myself and im most deff gonna take advantage ( Read more... )

i wrote all that last night assuming the obvious...
you would get home and call her. 
and again, i was right.
you talk shit...and say im the only girl in your life right now.
why even waste your breath?
straight lies are all you have to give?
you write me a song and make love to me the same day you call that bitch up to chit-chat. 
"sorry, i was asleep ( Read more... )

it makes me laugh that i can sit here so niaeve and oblivious.
....buying in to the untrue
....falling for those lacking love
....tears falling for a loss of faith
it makes me laugh to think i believed you were truly my best friend
....that you'd be there beside me eternally
....my mind was made up, you were the one
....love would pull through
it makes me ( Read more... )

merry christmas everyone!
its friggin early in the mornin and im laying here watching 'the christmas story' with my 2 little sisters. ya know, tbs runs it over-and-over for 24 hours straight...well, anyways, thank god for them, they are entertained at the moment. my beautiful boy is sleepin away on the floor, snoring and looking all cute, I LOVE IT ( Read more... )

things are so different, its wierd how life changes like it does ( Read more... )

i never thought that id be so happy after those past few miserable days...honestly. i know where they get the whle, bipolar thing nowww! seriously! a few days ago i was on the verge of break down and now im all smiles...
so ill begin with telling you that this weekend was absolutely wonderful. it started out super shitty...but by early friday ( Read more... )

i have done countless rambeling about how i hate myself and what not but i wanted to add this ( Read more... )

i came home about an hour ago and went straight up to my room even though my mom was still getting ready for work. i just didnt feel like talking to ANYONE and wanted to keep my mind focused. on what....i dont quite know. 
my moms worried, and to be quite frank she should be. i am scared. i dont want to hurt  myself, or anyone else. i am so ( Read more... )