one more thing...
i have done countless rambeling about how i hate myself and what not but i wanted to add this...
i know i am depressed and feel as if i have no self worth...but i think just maybe i need that right person to make me feel as if i mean somthing. i know that it has been said that you cant have respect for others if you dont have it for yourself...and i have seen many cases that prove that little statement to be true but i think im different. i use to love myself, i did, i have surrounded myself with people that dont understand me, dont care to know much about me, and have other things in mind when it comes to the friendship or relationship that we have.
i want someone to be there for me when im not smiling, when tears fall or when i have an urge to pick up a blade. it seems unrealistic but its not. and i know that for a fact. zack, if you end up reading this please dont be mad at me. its not you. its me. please realize that i have unrealistic wants and needs and this is just how its gonna be...
i just need to learn how to deal with reality. thats my biggest problem.
<3
i know i am depressed and feel as if i have no self worth...but i think just maybe i need that right person to make me feel as if i mean somthing. i know that it has been said that you cant have respect for others if you dont have it for yourself...and i have seen many cases that prove that little statement to be true but i think im different. i use to love myself, i did, i have surrounded myself with people that dont understand me, dont care to know much about me, and have other things in mind when it comes to the friendship or relationship that we have.
i want someone to be there for me when im not smiling, when tears fall or when i have an urge to pick up a blade. it seems unrealistic but its not. and i know that for a fact. zack, if you end up reading this please dont be mad at me. its not you. its me. please realize that i have unrealistic wants and needs and this is just how its gonna be...
i just need to learn how to deal with reality. thats my biggest problem.
<3