I never think 'why can't they pull themselves together' of depressed people, but when I'm depressed I often get angry at myself for not being able to pull *myself* together - which makes it worse, I know. And I do stupid things like punching the floor with my fist and hurting my hand (and then I have the reminder of being stupid because my hand won't work properly for the next week, and I very much need my hands). I did the same thing over the summer (and still do it now) over the phobia thing - even in the middle of a panic attack there's a voice in the back of my head saying 'Pull yourself together and stop play-acting
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even in the middle of a panic attack there's a voice in the back of my head saying 'Pull yourself together and stop play-acting'.
*sigh of relief* Good to know someone else gets this.
Beth, babe, I really feel for you. I spent most of the last year of my degree wondering what the hell I was doing. But I realise your situation is even more difficult. And I just think you're doing amazingly well. I know it doesn't help much when you're low to have people insisting that you will be up again, but it's true.
If I can do anything practical to help, please let me know. I'm planning a quiet weekend round and about ergotia's, but we'd love to see you if you feel like a break. I hope you soon see all the reasons to stay. You would be desparately missed.
The very lovely psychologist who I saw a little bit back told me that it was a fairly normal thing to think, which reassured me no end. Not that knowing this shuts up the daft voice, though. Although the daft voice has quietened on the 'pull yourself together' a little and is louder with the 'you're only pretening to do this because you want attention' these days.
My family took me on the London Eye today. It was really high and the view was amazing.
The one time I have been there was the day before I moved away from London. With my parents. I got the awesome feeling, but due to what was going on at the time I was numb and couldn't connect to stuff.
I'm not going to tell you I know how you're feeling cos I'm not you and I can't get in your head. The most I can do is empathise.
Hopefully if you can get a job that means something to you where you feel you're making a difference then perhaps your head situation will go on more of an even keel. Perhaps not, but feeling useful and of worth can go a long way - as it stands on face value you're only one of x amount of psychology students in the country. Do something that makes a change to at least one person's life (first and foremost yours!) and maybe that will help you feel better. I'm not saying it will take everything away, it just might help
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*sigh of relief* Good to know someone else gets this.
Beth, babe, I really feel for you. I spent most of the last year of my degree wondering what the hell I was doing. But I realise your situation is even more difficult. And I just think you're doing amazingly well. I know it doesn't help much when you're low to have people insisting that you will be up again, but it's true.
If I can do anything practical to help, please let me know. I'm planning a quiet weekend round and about ergotia's, but we'd love to see you if you feel like a break. I hope you soon see all the reasons to stay. You would be desparately missed.
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The one time I have been there was the day before I moved away from London. With my parents. I got the awesome feeling, but due to what was going on at the time I was numb and couldn't connect to stuff.
I'm not going to tell you I know how you're feeling cos I'm not you and I can't get in your head. The most I can do is empathise.
Hopefully if you can get a job that means something to you where you feel you're making a difference then perhaps your head situation will go on more of an even keel. Perhaps not, but feeling useful and of worth can go a long way - as it stands on face value you're only one of x amount of psychology students in the country. Do something that makes a change to at least one person's life (first and foremost yours!) and maybe that will help you feel better. I'm not saying it will take everything away, it just might help ( ... )
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Disclaimer : may not be as great as imagines self to be
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