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202.5 this morning. I cant believe I still lost 1/2# with all I ate yesterday! Shit, was I stressed! I did pretty well until the evening. Damn with the trip up North and the "visit" with my other daughter and the possibility of her facing brain surgery (like she doesnt have enough problems already!) then the daughter at home giving me so much shit ( Read more... ) -
FUCK EM!
203 this morning ( Read more... ) -
MY rules!
203.5 today...good, but I think it is time to start exercising more!
I have started to come up with some RULES for the new me:
The New Rules
1) (and this is #1 for a reason!) I WILL NOT RUMINATE!
2) I will not lose weight for anyone other than myself
3) I will not depend on others for my own happiness, wellbeing, acceptance, or entertainment
4) I will ( Read more... ) -
the (not my) family reunion
Well, sitting here @ my husband's family reunion...thank goodness for my sidekick! Doing OK w/ food but really bored! Would rather be at home working.
How do you be a new you around people who drag u down to the old crap? -
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204 today ( Read more... ) -
a new me...is that always a good thing?
I feel like I am becoming a new me. But I am not sure if that is a good thing. I dont know if the good me was all that great. She was sure sad much of the time. Had a fucked up life a lot of the time, made TONS of mistakes, was broke for most of her life, was FAT, old, and had wasted most of her life worrying about men and what others thought of ( Read more... ) -
alone
206.5 this morning. wow!
I have never felt more alone in my life
some of it is my own making, some of it is not
DH wants to reach out to me, help me...why cant I let him in?
I desperately want human contact, but it is literally painful when anyone touches me
GOD I HATE THIS! -
obesity
Well, only 5 more pounds and I move from obesity class II (very high) to class I (high) - oh whoopy
THIS...
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acceptance...NOT
Well, it has been two weeks, down 7#, which would sound great if I wasnt still 208! I hardly eat anything anymore. The Wellbutrin is helping with that. I eat a little oatmeal in the morning, usually a slimfast bar in the middle of the day & a small amt of veggies or beans at night just so my family will be happy that I am eating. I eat a cracker ( Read more... ) -
scared shitless
DH is going today at 1:00 to talk to MIL about the loan to get us out of our financial hole. I have this terrible feeling she will say no. I feel like it is all my fault b/c I am cannot work (not that I would bring in that much $ after DC, etc). I am so scared we will lose our house (which we *just* got) and this coupled with my depression is going ( Read more... )