Comments | metamorfic_moon: The Balance

bratanimus in metamorfic_moon

The Balance

Jul 19, 2007 20:14

Title: The Balance
Author: bratanimus
Summary: Her legs felt like tree trunks. Her toes were gnarled roots, not meant for walking, not meant for carrying her somewhere where things would end rather than begin. My take on one of the final scenes of Deathly Hallows. Remus/Tonks, Harry/Ginny, Neville/Luna, Ron/Hermione.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Talk of death
( Read more... )

last chance full moon showdown, drama, action/adventure, bratanimus

Comments 26

bway_love July 20 2007, 01:03:51 UTC

Ahh that was amazing! Excellent take on the prompt, made my stomach plummet with the summary.

Brilliant evocation of the setting/mood at the beginning (little phrases especially popped out producing a vivid reaction for me, like "She couldn’t look at Ginny holding Harry’s cold hand, Ginny panting and stumbling beside him because she refused to let it go, stubborn girl", "even though the students had been sent home for good at Christmas", "Not as long as her legs were still carrying her toward where she thought Remus might be. Not while she pulled the barely-breathing body of Harry Potter behind her on a Conjured stretcher" and the one about Neville with his fists clenched after missing Bellatrix...don't worry, I'm not going to quote your whole fic back at you ;D ( ... )

bratanimus July 20 2007, 11:05:03 UTC

Thank you! I'm so happy you liked it! I really appreciate all the quotes you mentioned, because they are some of my favorites as well. :) Glad you thought the mood was set appropriately at the beginning. And I'm really pleased that you liked the Snape Patronus idea! That was something I came up with myself (although I'd be surprised if I was the only one who's had similar thoughts), so I'm very glad it made sense to you. Most of all, I'm very gratified that you thought I got Tonks' voice right in this fic. I haven't written many stories from her POV (tend to write Remus POV), so I'm very glad she worked for you! :D ( ... )

oneandonlysusan July 20 2007, 02:12:03 UTC

Oh, this was so good! So, so good!! So in character and believable, and I loved that Snape's Patronus changed. So clever. Great job! We'll know soon what really happens!!

bratanimus July 20 2007, 11:07:39 UTC

Thank you! I'm very happy that you thought everyone was in character, as this was my first time writing many of the supporting characters! :D Glad you liked the Patronus changing idea; it's something I came up with on my own and I've always wanted to write something about it. And I've always thought that Tonks' morphing would come into play in a big way in DH. We'll see ...!

Thank you again for reading, and for your very nice comments! :D

lady_bracknell July 20 2007, 16:11:54 UTC

I thought you were writing a drabble? ;)

I really loved this - and I got so swept up in reading it, I'm not sure I took in all the details because I just wanted to keep reading and see what happened. It's exactly the same feeling I expect to be having around this time tomorrow.

I thought you handled the ensemble cast really well - it's really hard to write so many characters, I think, from the point of view of another one whose thoughts on them we've never seen, and the lines about Luna being in the world for the first time really stood out as not only perfect for her, but perfect for Tonks, too, so much kudos to you for pulling that off.

And this is just brimming with ideas. I love the idea of Snape saving Harry and having had a patronus change (I too think Remus has seen it before although *cough* I had a rather different candidate in mind ;)), and the idea of it being all tied into the wizarding debt and something as far back as the prank is just really great thinking on your part. I really liked the idea of Ron and Hermione off ( ... )

bratanimus August 13 2007, 11:07:38 UTC

Thank you!

I'm super pleased that you thought the characterizations of the other characters worked. It was my first time writing ALL of those other people, so I really appreciate your kind words! :D I always thought that Luna's "awakening" to the harsh realities of war would be particularly poignant, so thank you for picking up on that image.

Glad you liked Snape's Patronus change. I always wondered how Remus knew that Tonks' Patronus change was absolutely related to the shock of his breaking up with her -- besides the obvious fact that Harry described it as something that COULD be a wolf -- I mean, he seemed so certain, so I though he'd perhaps seen something like that before. I'm pleased that you liked that Snape's Patronus change was related to his debt to James; I had really hoped that would come into play in DH.

I had a feeling JKR wouldn't write a R/H adventure in DH, since everything is pretty much from Harry's POV (which I think in DH was especially unfortunate, but we've already been through all of that ... ;)).

(I ( ... )

lady_bracknell August 13 2007, 11:26:43 UTC

I really did prefer your version, lol.

I had a theory that Remus knows so much about patronus changes not because he's an expert on Patronuses, but because he'd had his change after Sirius died, into Padfoot. Which, if JKR had agreed with me, could have lead to a Moony/Prongs/Padfoot Patronus reunion.... But alas, she did not, lol.

bratanimus August 13 2007, 11:55:05 UTC

Hee hee, thanks! There's got to be a "preferred DH ending" LJ comm out there somewhere where I could post this. They should calll it "DH - FIX IT!" ;)

I had a theory that Remus knows so much about patronus changes not because he's an expert on Patronuses, but because he'd had his change after Sirius died, into Padfoot.

Oh my goodness, that's heartbreaking. :( I love it.

Which, if JKR had agreed with me, could have lead to a Moony/Prongs/Padfoot Patronus reunion.... But alas, she did not, lol.

*grumble grumble*

mrstater July 23 2007, 21:47:22 UTC

Okay. Reviewing this without writing spoilery things. But I think you know what spoilery things I wish to say, lol.

This is awesome. You have a real knack for writing suspense, and there's such a bleak end of battle feel here. It played out like a movie, with fog and burning piles on the ground. The opening with Tonks focusing on walking was great.

Really brilliant idea for Snape's Patronus. He would just HATE if it had that kind of significance. And that would also explain why he argues with Harry about what's the most effective means of dispatching Dementors. He'd hate casting that Patronus.

Very much love the whole Order and DA being so intregal in Harry's defeat of Voldemort. It certainly seems to be what's set up at the end of Book 6.

And I really love Remus repeating, "Never again" as he kisses her. That was so lovely.

Great work with this. And I apologize if this review is weird for trying not to say spoilery things!

bratanimus August 13 2007, 11:17:22 UTC

Hee hee, I know which spoilery things you wished to say, and I appreciate them. ;)

I'm so pleased that you think I have a knack for suspense! Isn't it funny how sometimes we don't know what genres we're good at (or even what we've actually written, lol)? The opening scene, with Tonks focused on just walking, was actually intended to be a drabble, because I had no idea I'd be able to finish this in time. But then the piece sort of took off without me ( ... )

gilpin25 July 24 2007, 15:51:45 UTC

I'm reviewing this after the event but I was still gripped, because it's so pacey, and the ideas in it and how you've used all the characters makes such an excellent denouement.

Loved the opening, which really is the perfect take on the prompt, and sets such a bleak, fraught atmosphere. Tonks is like some glorious warrior woman with the no-longer-children trailing after her. And then it's packed full of fascinating ideas, which it's very hard not to say anything spoilerish about (drat!), but I do love everything you worked out for Snape, especially that it all stems from the prank and the Marauders, and that Patronus would indeed be guaranteed to drive him to distraction. It also explains rather well why he thinks Tonks' is "weak" in HBP, lol ( ... )

bratanimus August 13 2007, 11:26:58 UTC

I'm so happy that you liked this! It's odd how I'm still discovering which genres I can actually write (i.e., the "pacey" action/adventure, or suspense, or whatever this is! ;)). I had no idea that was actually the genre that came out, lol!

Glad you liked the opening; it was going to be a drabble, but then it sort of took off from there. ;) I certainly could see Tonks as a "glorious warrior woman," as you called her; I think she's more than capable of leading part of a battle and strategizing on the fly if she needs to.

I'm especially pleased that you liked the ideas that I threw in here. Snape's Patronus change was an idea I came up with that I had secretly hoped would come into play in DH. ;)

and Harry being the incapacitated one throughout is a great idea, as he gets far too much of the glory in these things. ;)Exactly ( ... )