what does it mean when you think about the thinking about of something?
does it mean that on some level you WANT to consciously be thinking about it... that you aren't a poor junkie who cannot stop but instead some freak wanabe who is too p***y to try the shit themselves?

or does thinking about thinking about something, the same thing AS actually ( Read more... )

what the fuck is wrong with me ( Read more... )

i am disengaged from any sense of myself.
i understand with some part of my brain that i am a human and that i am on the couch and that i have a job and may at some point have to pee.
i understand that my fingers are moving quickly over small black boxes called keys and that the symbols appearing are letters that hopefully, with luck, make words.

i ( Read more... )

I'm an automaton ( Read more... )

i cannot be profound here - not now. i am in such a numbed place that an attempt to describe would fall floppy from my hands like limped-dicked words; impotent, small and pointless ( Read more... )