shrinky dink wants me to consider doing intensive outpatient program (DBT) for my borderline issues and semi-suicidal ideation bullshit.  thing is, i have been semi depersonalized/derealized lately and i fucken LOVE that! i don't want to be therapied out of that!!! it keeps me going... it brings life back to life.... magick even.... if i get rid of ( Read more... )

just like my mood disorder - which changes my diagnosis as it does my mood - my eating disorder constantly changes ( Read more... )

i am ashamed to admit that i feel "rejected" at the lack of comments on my posts ( Read more... )

there is this face people make when people die...
when they hear of it...
at a funeral....

i often catch people looking at me that way

just dawned on me that i cannot remember the last time i had sex with someone who loved me
someone who i loved

sad, isn't it

so.... i am dating my student's father ( Read more... )

what the fuck is wrong with me???
now, suddenly, i am uncomfortable with dating him....
but not because of getting caught (i don't think, anyway)...
the other night we became "exclusive" and since then i am freaking...
but i am not sure if i am freaking because of that OR because of hurting him...

i had the worst possible day of  my life on tuesday and ( Read more... )

( cut for length & a few triggers )

ok - this is why i don't date ( Read more... )

i think it is official - i like jasen ( Read more... )