date-hate
ok - this is why i don't date....
(i won't even comment on B1 right now - this is all about M1).
we meet 2 weeks ago. hung out mon, thursday-tue, and thurs. had plans fri but he canceled them to see a friend. had shaky plans sat so i decided to go to NJ to see family. we made plans for this evening....
told me to call him on my drive to NY. i texted him.
three hours later, he texted me "hey".
i tried another time to get him - first a text then a call.
nothing.
i just now texted him "its cool if we don't hang... no pressure... just wana plan my night :)"
so far nothing.
this might not seem like a big deal.
maybe you are thinking i haven't known him that long and there is no reason to be upset if he doesn't like me.
or maybe you are thinking that he saw me at an excessive pace and there was no way it would continue at that pace.
but i feel rejected.
i feel like God won't help me....
i mean, maybe he is.... maybe this guy, like B1 and all the guys prior, are not right for me... that life would be worse should i have dated them than it could possibly be if i remained single. and if that IS the case, then i thank him - i thank God.
but i can't help but wonder why he lets these people - these not good for me/refuse to date me/get sick of me within weeks, not months or years people - come into my life.
i know this is the nature of dating and perhaps i am having a little pity party....
but i feel set up.
i feel stupid.
i feel defeated.
and though i know i will be fine sooner than later... i feel like shit now.
i wana cry.
i HAVE cried.
i have other shit going on and this isn't helping....
i just wana like someone and be liked.
is that really so much to ask?
(i won't even comment on B1 right now - this is all about M1).
we meet 2 weeks ago. hung out mon, thursday-tue, and thurs. had plans fri but he canceled them to see a friend. had shaky plans sat so i decided to go to NJ to see family. we made plans for this evening....
told me to call him on my drive to NY. i texted him.
three hours later, he texted me "hey".
i tried another time to get him - first a text then a call.
nothing.
i just now texted him "its cool if we don't hang... no pressure... just wana plan my night :)"
so far nothing.
this might not seem like a big deal.
maybe you are thinking i haven't known him that long and there is no reason to be upset if he doesn't like me.
or maybe you are thinking that he saw me at an excessive pace and there was no way it would continue at that pace.
but i feel rejected.
i feel like God won't help me....
i mean, maybe he is.... maybe this guy, like B1 and all the guys prior, are not right for me... that life would be worse should i have dated them than it could possibly be if i remained single. and if that IS the case, then i thank him - i thank God.
but i can't help but wonder why he lets these people - these not good for me/refuse to date me/get sick of me within weeks, not months or years people - come into my life.
i know this is the nature of dating and perhaps i am having a little pity party....
but i feel set up.
i feel stupid.
i feel defeated.
and though i know i will be fine sooner than later... i feel like shit now.
i wana cry.
i HAVE cried.
i have other shit going on and this isn't helping....
i just wana like someone and be liked.
is that really so much to ask?