I feel for you. I hope you feel better, even if feeling better means feeling that heart rending pain. You have my sympathies and condolences, and also my hope. Words escape me, but whatever it is I want to convey, It is sincere and heartfelt. Of that I am sure. :(
Pretty well, my new computer refuses to install the games I want (need?) to play, but tommorow is the start of a 3 day intro event at my new college, so im so happy.
i am still grieving the unexpected loss of my grandmother and the very premature passing of my mother's best friend (an aunt to me)... but since then... i haven't felt much. well, besides the cyclothymia induced exaggerations. my other grandmother went in for triple bypass and still i have yet to flinch. now amy is dying and though my soul is grieving, my brain feels distracted by tons and tons of loud nothingness. existential whateverness.
thanks for your support! means so much! hope your weekend is going well! xoxo
I will pray for both of you. My life was saved by a miracle in summer 2002, when I visited the Church of the Sacred Heart in Paris. I started beliving in Jesus only after that miracle. If you cry for her isn't very useful, so don't worry if you cannot cry, but if you pray for her it is very useful, whatever God has planned for her.
well said. despite my lean toward the melancholy, i am quite the faithful christian. i believe she will be in wonderful peace and company should she leave early - but i grieve for the 10 years she appeared to have lost to fighting this. perhaps she learned something she needed to and just hasn't shared it with me. i believe everything happens for a reason, i just hope she didn't miss (overlook) the reason.
Perhaps it could be that you have been feeling so much right now that in a way you've "fried" your sensors, so all you seem to feel is numb... perhaps, it is the shock and devastation of your friend's cancer keeping you numb... perhaps, it your brain's way of keeping you functioning to help your "twin" through her despair, even in this impaired state, instead of completely dysfunctional from the grief...
Whatever it is, don't fight it... this is happening for a reason... try to work through it - not against it. Practicing Mindfulness could help you with this. I'm thinking specifically of the tools, "Just notice the experience. Notice without getting caught in the experience," and "Experience without reacting to your experience."
*HUGE HUGS* I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through. Just hold on. Something's gotta give. This will pass.
your reply really spoke to me. thank you for the information, advice and sentiment. truly! i am going to look further into this mindfulness stuff. i read a book a while back called The Power of Now and i think that kind of thinking can help me.
i am still disconnected but i suspect that it is a combination of my borderline reaction to stress, my working 36 hour shifts, and my cyclothymia. i also have been eating nothing of value and sleeping less and less.
my brain is probably on hibernation mode to save energy! :)
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my brain is on 'stuck' and the movie screen i am staring at remains blank.
i know there is a movie somewhere.... and i can almost hear it.
but it isn't for me to see.
not yet.
(how is your weekend going?)
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im sure it will hit you at some point.
initial shock will wear
take care <3
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thanks for your support!
means so much!
hope your weekend is going well!
xoxo
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If you cry for her isn't very useful, so don't worry if you cannot cry, but if you pray for her it is very useful, whatever God has planned for her.
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thank you for your words and support!
xoxo
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Whatever it is, don't fight it... this is happening for a reason... try to work through it - not against it. Practicing Mindfulness could help you with this. I'm thinking specifically of the tools, "Just notice the experience. Notice without getting caught in the experience," and "Experience without reacting to your experience."
*HUGE HUGS* I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through. Just hold on. Something's gotta give. This will pass.
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i am still disconnected but i suspect that it is a combination of my borderline reaction to stress, my working 36 hour shifts, and my cyclothymia. i also have been eating nothing of value and sleeping less and less.
my brain is probably on hibernation mode to save energy! :)
hope your weekend has been a good one!
xoxo
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