Fic: What Do You Want From Me 7/10
Title: What Do You Want From Me 7/10
Author: hugocabret
Pairing: Luke/Reid & Adam (OMC)
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2437
Summary/Prompt: Reid breaks up with Luke and they find it very hard to stay away from each other. They are both powerless to their attraction to one another, and every time they run into one another their extreme passion (whether it be lust or anger) for each other comes out. Reid wants to take a break but Luke makes it difficult for him. Their love is tested and there are many obstacles in the way and they find out if their love can survive.
Chapter Summary: Luke and Reid finally talk about the 'incident'.
Author's note: DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN! NOTICE HOW ADAM IS STILL HERE?!??! AND AS ALWAYS I ADORE YOUR COMMENTS/QUESTIONS/AND CONCERNS :D!!!
Disclaimer: not my characters, all mistakes are mine.
Previous Chapters Prologue | One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six
On the first morning after Luke slept over, Reid had already left to go to the hospital, (but he was late for this consult because he didn’t want to wake up). Luke grabbed a change of clothes and left. He hadn’t planned on ever coming over in the first place and he knew it couldn’t happen again.
The second morning that Luke woke up in Reid’s bed, Reid was still fast asleep. He didn’t know the proper etiquette of waking up for the second night in a row with your boyfriend-ex-boyfriend or whatever they were lying next to you.
Reid stirred in the bed and rolled over. Luke panicked for a second, he didn’t know if he should fall back asleep and wait for Reid to go to work before waking up, or if he should get up and leave, or well, he couldn’t think of any other options so he didn’t do anything
Reid opened his eyes, the rings around his eyes were less dark than they had been before they started this arrangement. Luke realized that Reid had needed this just as much as he did.
They didn’t say anything that morning. Reid got out of bed and took a shower and while he was in there, Luke changed and left. Reid wasn’t offended in anyway by Luke actions, they were just sleeping.
Both knew it was the calm before the storm.
The sixth morning that Luke woke up in Reid’s bed, Reid was already awake and in kitchen. It was a Saturday so Reid didn’t need to be at the hospital until later. Luke lay in a bed a while longer, thinking.
He didn’t know what they were doing, but it was just as unhealthy as before, only this time they were well rested. They had talked very little over the past couple days, just pleasantries, but they avoided the huge elephant in the room, or in the bed for that matter.
Luke knew that they couldn’t keep doing this. They had to talk about what happened if they were ever going to get past this. He knew that Reid felt the same way, he could see it in his eyes when they did share a few glances at each other before leaving the morning.
Luke got out of bed and threw a t-shirt on and slung his jeans up over his hips. He buttoned them quickly. He took a quick look in the mirror and exhaled into his reflection.
It was now or never.
Luke walked over to the door and placed turned the knob slowly. He wasn’t going to deny he was nervous. Ever since he had met Reid, they had been each other’s equals. Reid never treated him like a kid. They were always on the same level. However, he knew that he had tilted the scale, and he was worried, but he wanted to fix this. He wanted to fix this so badly.
Luke finally walked through the threshold of the bedroom. He could see Reid in the kitchen; he wasn’t paying any attention to him as he was digging through the fridge. Luke stood there, his hands buried deep into the pockets of his jeans.
“Reid.” Luke began.
--
Reid had finally slept in and when he opened his eyes, he was shocked to see that his arm was around Luke’s body and that he had pulled him in closer. This was the first time he had woken up in that familiar position since they had started this sleeping arrangement.
He quickly pulled his arm away and got out of bed, taking a quick shower. He was hoping that Luke might wake up and leave while he was in there. He also wondered if Luke had realized how they had been sleeping. They had slept in almost that identical position for the past two and a half years, and Reid hoped that Luke’s body didn’t think anything of it.
When he got out of the shower Luke was still sound asleep in bed. If Reid had known any better, this morning would have felt like any other Saturday, before the incident.
Reid knew they had to talk about it. He knew they couldn’t get into a routine. He knew that if Katie knew about this, she would disapprove and he would get an earful of how inappropriate they were acting. He knew that they needed to fix this. He wanted to fix this.
He got dressed and went into the kitchen to eat some breakfast. When Luke woke up, they would talk. They had to. They needed to put all their cards on the table.
Reid had his head deep into the fridge when he heard his name.
“Reid.”
--
Reid pulled his head out and turned to look at Luke. Luke was standing with his hands in his pockets and Reid could read all over his face that Luke was nervous.
“Reid.” Luke said again. He was looking at Reid and Reid hadn’t said anything yet. “I-I--.” Luke tried to begin. This was much harder than any talk he had ever had. He didn’t want to say the wrong thing, because he knew that Reid would exploit it.
Reid still hadn’t said anything yet. He was going to let Luke speak first.
“I-Reid. You know. You know how much I love you and…”
Reid flinched at the declaration.
“…and, I know I fucked up so bad. That night…” Luke could barely get the words out. He wasn’t quite sure what he wanted to say first. Reid was just staring at him. He felt so naked, so exposed.
“Why?”
Luke looked up in shock. Reid had moved not even a step closer. Reid’s eyes were piecing into him and he felt like he was being stabbed in the chest. He knew he needed to tell Reid why, but he knew the reason wasn’t good, he knew that it was going to hurt saying it.
“I-I was being selfish.”
Luke could tell that Reid was not satisfied with his answer.
“Luke, just say it. Skirting around isn’t going to get us anywhere.” Reid voice was harsh and Luke could tell he was trying to hold back, trying to remain calm. He could only wonder how long this was going to last.
Luke didn’t know where to begin.
“Which why do you want to know first?” Luke asked. He pulled one of his hands out of his pocket and ran it through his hair. His nervous and anxious ticks surfacing.
Reid had so many questions.
“Why did you start drinking?”
“I was lonely.”
“I was always there.”
“Were you? I'm not blaming you, but there were times when I didn’t see you for a couple of days.”
“And drinking was the answer.”
“You never stopped me.”
“You’re an adult. And I did. You wouldn’t listen to me and I’m not about to tell you what to do. We’ve never been that way.”
“I’m not going to drink anymore.”
“How can I believe you?”
“Trust me.”
Hearing the word ‘trust’ triggered the anger that Reid was trying to suppress. He had wanted this to be a civil conversation, and he was trying his best not to raise his voice. But trust, he needed to know how he could trust Luke again.
“Funny, you tell me to trust you.”
“What?”
“Luke. How can I trust you?” Reid started. His voice hitched and he narrowed his eyes. All the emotions from that night were rushing back to him. He tried to remain calm but he was losing patience. “You kissed Noah.” He angrily spat. “Explain that. Spare no detail, I want to know.”
“Reid. Please.” Luke didn’t want to tell him. He hated that he had to relive his mistake.
“Fuck Luke! Tell me.”
“I was starting to feel like you loved your career more than me. Ok! Is that really what you wanted to hear?”
“Keep going.”
“I was so happy for you when you got the Chief of Staff Job, trust me, I was, I was thrilled.”
“Don’t tell me to trust you.”
“Fine! I was over the moon, it was what you wanted. You could run the whole hospital and you had your own personal playground with the most amazing neuro-wing ever. I didn’t want to think these thoughts, but when you started spending more and more time there, I-I--- Fuck Reid, I started thinking that maybe the only reason you were with me was so that I advocate for you to the board and then write the checks.
Reid was seething hearing Luke say this. How could Luke think for one second that he didn’t love him. That he had been using him for money and to further his career.
“I never said you would like that answers.” Luke hissed back. “But here I was, just a pretty face with deep pockets but I felt like I had nobody. I thought, ‘oh maybe if I start drinking, my doctor boyfriend will actually notice me.’ But nooooo in typical Reid fashion, you let me make my own mistakes. Couldn’t you see that I was crying out for you!”
“Don’t blame this on me.” Reid sneered back at Luke. “I was there for you, but you were drunk! Blind to my help.”
Luke caught his breath. He was an alcoholic. He knew the tricks. He knew that Reid was right.
“I’m not blaming you.” Luke said calmly and coolly. “I know. But you asked why, so I’m telling you why.”
Reid knew he had asked for this. He needed to let Luke get it all out so they could figure it out. “Continue.” He said. His eyes were still blazing with fire, but his heart was telling him to cool down.
“I was selfish.” Luke said.
“You were.” Reid confirmed.
“I felt lonely, I was drinking, and I thought that I was losing you to your career. I thought you loved it more than me. I really felt that way.”
“Why would you ever think that?”
“I felt like you always picked the patients over me. I’m your boyfriend, your partner, at least I thought we were on the way to calling ourselves that, but I felt like I was being picked last.”
“God, Luke. You’re so stupid sometimes.” Reid couldn’t help but get angry at hearing Luke say this. He had opened his life, his heart to less than a handful of people in his entire life. If Luke couldn’t see that he loved him more than anybody in the whole world, he didn’t know why they were even bothering having his conversation.
“I’m just telling you how I felt!” Luke responded. He hated when Reid said that, even if he knew he was being stupid and irrational. “And I kissed Noah, because he was there.”
“Because he was there? That’s all you have to say about that?”
“He was there, I was drunk, I fabricated feelings of want and desire because I wanted you to have to fight for me. In my head I thought, if I kiss Noah, then maybe you would fight for me like you did last time. I would always choose you, I have always chosen you. But in my fucked up, drunk mind, I thought it help. I wanted to feel wanted by you again.”
“So you decided that cheating on me and breaking my trust was the right path to take.”
“I would never, if I hadn’t been drunk.”
“Drunk is not an excuse.”
“I know. And Reid, I love you so much.” Luke said again. Saying the words, his eyes almost started to well up. But he needed Reid to know it was true. “I never met to hurt you. I was dealing with my own demons and I felt alone.” Luke was trying to hard so not let the tears fall.
Reid knew that Luke meant everything he said. Luke rarely cried- at least in front of him- but he knew how painful this was for him and how truthful he was being. This was the only time that Luke had ever lied to him. He had trusted Luke was many of his secrets.
Luke couldn’t understand why Reid wasn’t saying anything. He blinked his eyes and a small stream fell from his eyes. He quickly wiped them away.
“How could you not see how much I loved you Luke?”
“W-what?” Luke trembled out.
“You…my career. There was never a competition between which one I love more.” Reid looked at his knuckles. The bruise had healed some time ago and the cuts were gone. There was no physical evidence of that night anymore. He ran his opposite thumb over them.
That night he kicked Luke out, he had sacrificed everything.
He used to think surgery and medicine were his one true loves. But he had been proven wrong a long time ago.
“I- I-Reid.” Luke watched as Reid moved in closer to him. Reid took his thumb and wiped away at the tears on Luke’s cheek. The contact, Luke could feel the energy between them. What they had was real. “I’m so sorry. For everything.”
Luke’s heart was beating so fast.
Reid knew that people deserve second chances, especially the ones you love.
“I forgive you.” Reid whispered into Luke’s ear. Luke let a small smile seep across his face. He sniffled his nose, he knew he looked gross from crying. He couldn’t stop himself from crying more though. Reid had forgiven him, it was what he had wanted since the incident happened.
Reid pulled away and he could tell that Luke was still shocked. He put Luke’s head in-between his hands and stared into Luke’s dark brown eyes.
Reid pulled Luke closer and gave him a kiss.
“Reid…” Luke barely whispered across both their lips. He was ready and willing to continue this into the bedroom, solidify that they were back together.
“Reid…” Luke said again.
Luke was just about to ask when he heard Reid’s pager buzz on the kitchen island. Reid pulled away and looked at it. Luke could already tell it was a 9-1-1.
“Go.” Luke said. After their discussion, he didn’t want Reid thinking he needed to pick him over the safety of somebody else’s life.
Luke watched as Reid quickly grabbed his things and left. He exhaled when Reid was finally gone. He wiped the rest of his tears dry.
They were able to fix a lot but Luke was still left with one burning question that he was just about to ask before the pager went off.
Were they really back together?
Author: hugocabret
Pairing: Luke/Reid & Adam (OMC)
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 2437
Summary/Prompt: Reid breaks up with Luke and they find it very hard to stay away from each other. They are both powerless to their attraction to one another, and every time they run into one another their extreme passion (whether it be lust or anger) for each other comes out. Reid wants to take a break but Luke makes it difficult for him. Their love is tested and there are many obstacles in the way and they find out if their love can survive.
Chapter Summary: Luke and Reid finally talk about the 'incident'.
Author's note: DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN! NOTICE HOW ADAM IS STILL HERE?!??! AND AS ALWAYS I ADORE YOUR COMMENTS/QUESTIONS/AND CONCERNS :D!!!
Disclaimer: not my characters, all mistakes are mine.
Previous Chapters Prologue | One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six
On the first morning after Luke slept over, Reid had already left to go to the hospital, (but he was late for this consult because he didn’t want to wake up). Luke grabbed a change of clothes and left. He hadn’t planned on ever coming over in the first place and he knew it couldn’t happen again.
The second morning that Luke woke up in Reid’s bed, Reid was still fast asleep. He didn’t know the proper etiquette of waking up for the second night in a row with your boyfriend-ex-boyfriend or whatever they were lying next to you.
Reid stirred in the bed and rolled over. Luke panicked for a second, he didn’t know if he should fall back asleep and wait for Reid to go to work before waking up, or if he should get up and leave, or well, he couldn’t think of any other options so he didn’t do anything
Reid opened his eyes, the rings around his eyes were less dark than they had been before they started this arrangement. Luke realized that Reid had needed this just as much as he did.
They didn’t say anything that morning. Reid got out of bed and took a shower and while he was in there, Luke changed and left. Reid wasn’t offended in anyway by Luke actions, they were just sleeping.
Both knew it was the calm before the storm.
The sixth morning that Luke woke up in Reid’s bed, Reid was already awake and in kitchen. It was a Saturday so Reid didn’t need to be at the hospital until later. Luke lay in a bed a while longer, thinking.
He didn’t know what they were doing, but it was just as unhealthy as before, only this time they were well rested. They had talked very little over the past couple days, just pleasantries, but they avoided the huge elephant in the room, or in the bed for that matter.
Luke knew that they couldn’t keep doing this. They had to talk about what happened if they were ever going to get past this. He knew that Reid felt the same way, he could see it in his eyes when they did share a few glances at each other before leaving the morning.
Luke got out of bed and threw a t-shirt on and slung his jeans up over his hips. He buttoned them quickly. He took a quick look in the mirror and exhaled into his reflection.
It was now or never.
Luke walked over to the door and placed turned the knob slowly. He wasn’t going to deny he was nervous. Ever since he had met Reid, they had been each other’s equals. Reid never treated him like a kid. They were always on the same level. However, he knew that he had tilted the scale, and he was worried, but he wanted to fix this. He wanted to fix this so badly.
Luke finally walked through the threshold of the bedroom. He could see Reid in the kitchen; he wasn’t paying any attention to him as he was digging through the fridge. Luke stood there, his hands buried deep into the pockets of his jeans.
“Reid.” Luke began.
--
Reid had finally slept in and when he opened his eyes, he was shocked to see that his arm was around Luke’s body and that he had pulled him in closer. This was the first time he had woken up in that familiar position since they had started this sleeping arrangement.
He quickly pulled his arm away and got out of bed, taking a quick shower. He was hoping that Luke might wake up and leave while he was in there. He also wondered if Luke had realized how they had been sleeping. They had slept in almost that identical position for the past two and a half years, and Reid hoped that Luke’s body didn’t think anything of it.
When he got out of the shower Luke was still sound asleep in bed. If Reid had known any better, this morning would have felt like any other Saturday, before the incident.
Reid knew they had to talk about it. He knew they couldn’t get into a routine. He knew that if Katie knew about this, she would disapprove and he would get an earful of how inappropriate they were acting. He knew that they needed to fix this. He wanted to fix this.
He got dressed and went into the kitchen to eat some breakfast. When Luke woke up, they would talk. They had to. They needed to put all their cards on the table.
Reid had his head deep into the fridge when he heard his name.
“Reid.”
--
Reid pulled his head out and turned to look at Luke. Luke was standing with his hands in his pockets and Reid could read all over his face that Luke was nervous.
“Reid.” Luke said again. He was looking at Reid and Reid hadn’t said anything yet. “I-I--.” Luke tried to begin. This was much harder than any talk he had ever had. He didn’t want to say the wrong thing, because he knew that Reid would exploit it.
Reid still hadn’t said anything yet. He was going to let Luke speak first.
“I-Reid. You know. You know how much I love you and…”
Reid flinched at the declaration.
“…and, I know I fucked up so bad. That night…” Luke could barely get the words out. He wasn’t quite sure what he wanted to say first. Reid was just staring at him. He felt so naked, so exposed.
“Why?”
Luke looked up in shock. Reid had moved not even a step closer. Reid’s eyes were piecing into him and he felt like he was being stabbed in the chest. He knew he needed to tell Reid why, but he knew the reason wasn’t good, he knew that it was going to hurt saying it.
“I-I was being selfish.”
Luke could tell that Reid was not satisfied with his answer.
“Luke, just say it. Skirting around isn’t going to get us anywhere.” Reid voice was harsh and Luke could tell he was trying to hold back, trying to remain calm. He could only wonder how long this was going to last.
Luke didn’t know where to begin.
“Which why do you want to know first?” Luke asked. He pulled one of his hands out of his pocket and ran it through his hair. His nervous and anxious ticks surfacing.
Reid had so many questions.
“Why did you start drinking?”
“I was lonely.”
“I was always there.”
“Were you? I'm not blaming you, but there were times when I didn’t see you for a couple of days.”
“And drinking was the answer.”
“You never stopped me.”
“You’re an adult. And I did. You wouldn’t listen to me and I’m not about to tell you what to do. We’ve never been that way.”
“I’m not going to drink anymore.”
“How can I believe you?”
“Trust me.”
Hearing the word ‘trust’ triggered the anger that Reid was trying to suppress. He had wanted this to be a civil conversation, and he was trying his best not to raise his voice. But trust, he needed to know how he could trust Luke again.
“Funny, you tell me to trust you.”
“What?”
“Luke. How can I trust you?” Reid started. His voice hitched and he narrowed his eyes. All the emotions from that night were rushing back to him. He tried to remain calm but he was losing patience. “You kissed Noah.” He angrily spat. “Explain that. Spare no detail, I want to know.”
“Reid. Please.” Luke didn’t want to tell him. He hated that he had to relive his mistake.
“Fuck Luke! Tell me.”
“I was starting to feel like you loved your career more than me. Ok! Is that really what you wanted to hear?”
“Keep going.”
“I was so happy for you when you got the Chief of Staff Job, trust me, I was, I was thrilled.”
“Don’t tell me to trust you.”
“Fine! I was over the moon, it was what you wanted. You could run the whole hospital and you had your own personal playground with the most amazing neuro-wing ever. I didn’t want to think these thoughts, but when you started spending more and more time there, I-I--- Fuck Reid, I started thinking that maybe the only reason you were with me was so that I advocate for you to the board and then write the checks.
Reid was seething hearing Luke say this. How could Luke think for one second that he didn’t love him. That he had been using him for money and to further his career.
“I never said you would like that answers.” Luke hissed back. “But here I was, just a pretty face with deep pockets but I felt like I had nobody. I thought, ‘oh maybe if I start drinking, my doctor boyfriend will actually notice me.’ But nooooo in typical Reid fashion, you let me make my own mistakes. Couldn’t you see that I was crying out for you!”
“Don’t blame this on me.” Reid sneered back at Luke. “I was there for you, but you were drunk! Blind to my help.”
Luke caught his breath. He was an alcoholic. He knew the tricks. He knew that Reid was right.
“I’m not blaming you.” Luke said calmly and coolly. “I know. But you asked why, so I’m telling you why.”
Reid knew he had asked for this. He needed to let Luke get it all out so they could figure it out. “Continue.” He said. His eyes were still blazing with fire, but his heart was telling him to cool down.
“I was selfish.” Luke said.
“You were.” Reid confirmed.
“I felt lonely, I was drinking, and I thought that I was losing you to your career. I thought you loved it more than me. I really felt that way.”
“Why would you ever think that?”
“I felt like you always picked the patients over me. I’m your boyfriend, your partner, at least I thought we were on the way to calling ourselves that, but I felt like I was being picked last.”
“God, Luke. You’re so stupid sometimes.” Reid couldn’t help but get angry at hearing Luke say this. He had opened his life, his heart to less than a handful of people in his entire life. If Luke couldn’t see that he loved him more than anybody in the whole world, he didn’t know why they were even bothering having his conversation.
“I’m just telling you how I felt!” Luke responded. He hated when Reid said that, even if he knew he was being stupid and irrational. “And I kissed Noah, because he was there.”
“Because he was there? That’s all you have to say about that?”
“He was there, I was drunk, I fabricated feelings of want and desire because I wanted you to have to fight for me. In my head I thought, if I kiss Noah, then maybe you would fight for me like you did last time. I would always choose you, I have always chosen you. But in my fucked up, drunk mind, I thought it help. I wanted to feel wanted by you again.”
“So you decided that cheating on me and breaking my trust was the right path to take.”
“I would never, if I hadn’t been drunk.”
“Drunk is not an excuse.”
“I know. And Reid, I love you so much.” Luke said again. Saying the words, his eyes almost started to well up. But he needed Reid to know it was true. “I never met to hurt you. I was dealing with my own demons and I felt alone.” Luke was trying to hard so not let the tears fall.
Reid knew that Luke meant everything he said. Luke rarely cried- at least in front of him- but he knew how painful this was for him and how truthful he was being. This was the only time that Luke had ever lied to him. He had trusted Luke was many of his secrets.
Luke couldn’t understand why Reid wasn’t saying anything. He blinked his eyes and a small stream fell from his eyes. He quickly wiped them away.
“How could you not see how much I loved you Luke?”
“W-what?” Luke trembled out.
“You…my career. There was never a competition between which one I love more.” Reid looked at his knuckles. The bruise had healed some time ago and the cuts were gone. There was no physical evidence of that night anymore. He ran his opposite thumb over them.
That night he kicked Luke out, he had sacrificed everything.
He used to think surgery and medicine were his one true loves. But he had been proven wrong a long time ago.
“I- I-Reid.” Luke watched as Reid moved in closer to him. Reid took his thumb and wiped away at the tears on Luke’s cheek. The contact, Luke could feel the energy between them. What they had was real. “I’m so sorry. For everything.”
Luke’s heart was beating so fast.
Reid knew that people deserve second chances, especially the ones you love.
“I forgive you.” Reid whispered into Luke’s ear. Luke let a small smile seep across his face. He sniffled his nose, he knew he looked gross from crying. He couldn’t stop himself from crying more though. Reid had forgiven him, it was what he had wanted since the incident happened.
Reid pulled away and he could tell that Luke was still shocked. He put Luke’s head in-between his hands and stared into Luke’s dark brown eyes.
Reid pulled Luke closer and gave him a kiss.
“Reid…” Luke barely whispered across both their lips. He was ready and willing to continue this into the bedroom, solidify that they were back together.
“Reid…” Luke said again.
Luke was just about to ask when he heard Reid’s pager buzz on the kitchen island. Reid pulled away and looked at it. Luke could already tell it was a 9-1-1.
“Go.” Luke said. After their discussion, he didn’t want Reid thinking he needed to pick him over the safety of somebody else’s life.
Luke watched as Reid quickly grabbed his things and left. He exhaled when Reid was finally gone. He wiped the rest of his tears dry.
They were able to fix a lot but Luke was still left with one burning question that he was just about to ask before the pager went off.
Were they really back together?