Fic: What Do You Want From Me 4/?
Title: What Do You Want From Me 4/?
Author: hugocabret
Pairing: Luke/Reid
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 4014
Summary/Prompt: Reid breaks up with Luke and they find it very hard to stay away from each other. They are both powerless to their attraction to one another, and every time they run into one another their extreme passion (whether it be lust or anger) for each other comes out. Reid wants to take a break but Luke makes it difficult for him. Their love is tested and there are many obstacles in the way and they find out if their love can survive.
Chapter Summary: Casey and Luke hang out.
Author's note: SORRY THIS CHAPTER TOOK SO LONG. IT TOOK ME FOREVER TO WRITE IT. HOPE YA'LL LIKE IT :)
Disclaimer: not my characters, all mistakes are mine.
Previous Chapters Prologue | One | Two | Three
After staying at the farm for three weeks, Luke had decided it was finally time to get his own place. As much as he loved being around his family, after two and half almost three years of living with Reid, or at least sleeping over at Reid’s, he had gotten used to his independence. He knew his mother and father meant well, but it was not a conducive location to try to move on. His mother was always harping in his ear about love and how it the universe worked in mysterious ways. His father was trying to give him bits of advice here and there. However, Luke, no offensive to his parents, thought that they were not the best people to be preaching on the subject of love.
Therefore, he moved out and got an apartment, a furnished one because majority of his stuff was still at his old place. Reid had not dropped it off or hinted that he needed to come and get it. All good signs.
Luke had only been settled in for about an hour when there was a knock on his door. Due to wanting his privacy and independence, he had only one person where he was moving to, he laughed, it was so like them to show up the first day and unannounced.
Luke walked over to the door and opened it.
“PARTY!” Casey announced as he walked in, carrying a pizza which smelled absolutely delicious, and Luke was starving.
“Case, I’ve barely moved in.” Luke said in a not very heartfelt protest.
“Dude, You’ve been a hermit since, well whatever you are calling it or not calling it. You need to live a little. That is where I come in. I am the best person to make you forget about the shit happening in your life.”
Luke couldn’t argue with Casey’s analysis of himself. Casey was so carefree and ridiculous and charming that he could make the President of the United States forget the stress of his life. He didn’t know before Casey showed up, but it was exactly what he needed.
“So, lets eat.”
They both settled into their idle chatter, catching up on each other’s lives. Talking about work, talking about family, talking about movies and sports and other dumb things happening in pop culture, it was just what Luke needed. An escape from his everyday where all he did was think about his mistake and Reid.
Luke was enjoying Casey’s easy company. With Casey, you didn’t need to impress him. Their friendship was effortless and it was then that Luke really realized how much he had missed his good friend.
Then, unexpectedly, Casey spoke about the elephant in the room.
“Hey man, I just wanted to apologize…” Casey started with a mouthful of pizza.
“What do you have to be sorry for?”
“Dr. Oliver heard about Noah from me, and I…”
Luke was silent. He didn’t know how to respond. He had wondered how Reid had found out but had never concluded one that made sense. The only plausible idea that he could think of was that Noah had called him, to find out if he had told Reid or if he was trying to hide it.
“…I know you’re mad at me.”
“Case, I’m not mad at you, I just didn’t know.”
“Luke, I’m sorry. He never would have known about it if I could keep my mouth shut. I didn’t know he was behind me and I was just telling Alison and...”
“It’s not your fault, it’s mine. He would have found out eventually but I should have told him the minute it happened, but I was too stupid and scared.”
“Thanks dude, I just needed to get it off my chest.” Casey said as he exhaled.
“I’m happy you told me.”
“I guess since we are on the subject and I am your best friend, how are things on that front. Any progress?”
“I’m dying Case. I fucked up so bad and you know how Reid is. He won’t even look at me. Well one time he did and it didn’t end well.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“The night of the cardio-wing opening, he was drunk and I was desperate to talk to him and…”
“And what? Come on Luke, since we are having a weird kinda awkward man talk right now you have to spill all the details.”
“We kindahadsexinthebathroom.” Luke rushed out before lowering his head. He was blushing like a fool.
“Interesting…” Luke looked up to see Casey with a dumb smile on his face.
“What is?”
“Well, when I was trying to win Allison back, I gave her no choice but to see me all the time.”
“Yeah…”
“Well, when was the last time you talked to him?”
“Case, I’m just going to throw this out there, but the fact that we are discussing my relationship and you are dishing out advice, I’m kinda weirded out by it”
“This is a one time only thing and if you tell anybody about this, I’ll have your head. I need to uphold my womanizing image.” Casey said facetiously, he had been serious with Alison for almost three years, so Luke was willing to listen to his advice.
“Fine, the last time I talked to him was a couple of days after it happened. But it was less of a talk and more an argument. He claims he only did it because he was drunk. Which is true, he was pretty hammered by the time we met up.”
Casey gave a small laugh and Luke made a face at him that was full of confusion. He didn’t know why Casey was laughing at this.
“Dude, you are in the perfect situation. Dr. O still wants you. He’s mad yes, but so was Allison but I knew she still loved me and wanted to be with me. So what did I do? I got a job at the hospital so she would see my everyday and be reminded of how much we loved and still loved each other. You obviously can’t do that because you have so many jobs already, but you just need to be where he is. You know his schedule; you know where he likes to go. You don’t even need to talk to him; he just needs to see you.”
“Why does this sound like stalking?”
Casey laughed. “You aren’t stalking him. It’s going to be coincidental.”
“Big word, impressed.”
“I try.” Casey said with a smile, genuinely proud of himself for using that word.
“It’s not a bad idea.”
“No, it isn’t. If you are just there, in his mind he might forgive you faster. If you don’t talk to him or see him, he’ll only have the bad memories and those will fester and grow and he might never get out of it.”
“Where did you learn all this?” Luke asked. He was surprisingly shocked with how much Casey’s relationship advice seemed to be right. Majority of the time he had no clue what he was talking about but what he had just told Luke would probably work. He knew Reid still cared. The way that he had looked at him from across the room at the hospital, yeah, he might have been drunk but Luke could see in his eyes how badly he wanted to forgive him.
“Lots of trial and error.”
They dropped the subject and went back to talking about more lighter things. Such as the new menu items at Al’s and how good they were, to how excited they both were for Will to visit. Although Luke was engaged in the subject matter he kept thinking about Reid, he knew what he needed to do.
“Case, can you hold on just a moment?”
Casey nodded as Luke got up and went into his bedroom. He pulled his blackberry out of his pocket. He needed to call Reid. Even if Reid didn’t answer, he needed to tell him something.
--
Reid was lying in bed. It had been a long day at the hospital-almost 14 straight hours and the only thing he wanted was sleep. His eyelids were heavy and he was just on the brink of sleep when he heard his blackberry vibrate on his bedside table, he let it go to voicemail. He knew it wasn’t the hospital because they would have paged him as well. Right now all he cared about was sleep.
--
“Dr. Reid Oliver …. BEEP”
“Hey Reid…It’s Luke. I just wanted to call and say that I’m sorry about how you found out about what happened. I should have told you the minute I came home. I shouldn’t have lied to you. I have never lied before and I don’t know why I thought that I would start there. I’m so sorry. I hope you know how sorry I truly am. I was just so scared of what would happen and I know I only made it worse. My worse fears came true and it was because I broke your trust. I will do anything to make it up to you. I miss you like fucking crazy… and um, I…that’s all.” Luke paused for a moment. He didn’t want to say goodbye. “I love you.” He whispered meekly “I love you so much.” The last part was barely above a whisper.
He hoped that Reid would at least listen to the message before deleting it.
--
Reid heard the noise on his blackberry signaling that he had a voicemail. As tired as he was, his curiosity kept him from falling asleep. He begrudgingly leaned over and swiped his phone off the night side table.
missed call - Luke Snyder
1 new voicemail
Reid went against his better judgment and played the message. He knew if he deleted it, he would wonder about it what it might have said and rehash it and what the possibilities of why Luke might have called over and over. It would have drove him crazy.
He laid in the dark and listened to Luke’s voice.
He replayed it again.
And again.
And again.
After the fifth listen, he finally put his phone back down. It had been a week since he had heard Luke’s voice and he had missed it so much. His wounds were slowly beginning to heal he could hear what an effort that Luke was making and how sincere he sounded.
It was a start.
--
Luke came back into the room to see that Casey had surprisingly started to clean up from their pizza-fest.
“Anyways bro, my mom is having some sort of birthday party this weekend, it’s at Metro and I really don’t want to be the only dude there so will you please come.” Casey hollered over by the kitchen where he was trying to smash the box of pizza smaller to be thrown away.
“Sure sounds fun, I think my parents are going to that as well.”
“Great.” Casey looked at the clock above the microwave. “Dude, this has been fun and all, but I gotta get back to Alison.”
“Sure, no problem. This is my fight night here, I think I want to spend it alone. As much as I would love for you to sleepover with me.” Luke said with a smile.
“Gross dude, wasn’t it bad enough that we talked about relationships tonight?”
Luke just laughed. Luke walked Casey to the door before letting him out.
Luke finally exhaled as he sat down on the couch of his new apartment. He had never lived alone. First he lived with his parents, then Noah, then his parents, then Reid, then his parents. He wanted to feel like he might be maturing a little bit but the circumstances weren’t organic. He let his mind fall blank as he listened to the emptiness of his place. He liked it. He would be able to think and work without interruption. This change might actually be a good thing.
Once Luke finally pulled himself off the couch he slowly wandered into the bedroom. He had made sure that all the lights were off and that the door was locked and that everything was in it’s place. If anything, he needed order right now.
Luke let Casey’s idea run through his head as he tried to fall asleep. It wasn’t the best idea, but currently he was desperate for anything that might work. He needed to talk to Reid. Even more, he wanted Reid to want to talk to him.
He decided that any encounter would be coincidence and that instead of trying to avoid him if they were in the same place, he would make his presences know. Casey was right; Reid did still want to be with him.
He would just have to make it hard for him to not want be with him.
--
Reid deleted the voicemail the next morning (after listening to it two more times) while he got a cup of coffee at Java. He didn’t want the nagging reminder of Luke’s voice, which sounded so sweet and sincere, to be just a click away. He had just been able to clear his mind and let his anger start to dissipate, and then Luke had to call and remind him.
Reid sipped his coffee, he started drinking it black to save some time now that he was Chief of Staff, but Wednesday’s were a rare day where he could actually sit down and relax for just a moment. He glazed over the newspaper, but nothing newsworthy was going on.
Since his break with Luke, his life was slowly turning back into what it was in Dallas. A life where work dominated his day and anything on the peripheral was not important. When he was with Luke, Luke made other things important, even if it was just to take time out to go for a walk or listen to a new cd. Since the break, he had already retreated so far back into his old ways that he had subscribed to six new medical journals and he considered doing paperwork fun. He had also cut his contact down to just Katie.
Luke knew that you lived your life; you didn’t let your life live you.
Reid took another sip of his coffee before letting out a heavy exhale. Luke had changed him, whether he knew it or liked it. However, trust was the most important thing to him. When he operates, people but their lives in his hands and they trust him to do the best that he can. His trust and their trust, is the only thing that the family members can hold on to while their loved ones are hurting. Luke knew this. Luke also believed in it.
Reid took another sip of his coffee, his ears perked up when he heard a familiar voice but he wouldn’t let his eyes look up, not yet.
“Hey - can I get one caramel apple cider?” Luke asked the barista. “They sound so gooood.” He soothed out.
Reid could not help but barely lift his eyes. He just did not want to make eye contact. Thankfully, Luke’s back was too him. Unfortunately, Luke looked smoking hot. Luke was leaning over the counter, and his feet were barely bouncing up and down in anticipation. His jeans were incredibly tight and it took all of Reid’s power to not let his brain go where it wanted to go.
For all he knew, Luke had not even seen him sitting there.
Reid lowered his head just a little bit and allowed his eyes to barely glance up at the eager blonde waiting for his drink. Reid watched as the back of Luke’s shirt slowly raised, revealing the smallest bit of his lower back. This time, Reid couldn’t help but stare.
“Your drink” the barista said as he handed Luke his order.
“Thanksss” Luke said letting the s’s hiss out. Reid had heard that thanks before, in their bedroom. Before leaving Luke took a sip, “Ohh, soo good.” He exclaimed before bounding out of Java.
To the average listener these were normal, but to Reid, it sounded so hot and sexy and incredibly dirty, and Luke hadn’t even seen or known he was there. He quickly got up and threw his unfinished drink away. He was going to need a cold shower before heading back to work.
--
Reid was filling out a patient’s chart when again he heard the familiar voice of Luke Snyder.
“Hey Case, ready to go to lunch?”
“Yeah, dude, just lemme grab my jacket and then we can go.” Reid didn’t look up as he felt Casey Hughes walk past him towards the staff locker room. He could hear Luke shuffling his feet around, but he also knew that he was paying no attention to him. Reid quickly darted his eyes up to see Luke staring at the bulletin board, full of useless inspirational quotes and pictures of people getting better. He watched as Luke looked over the wall, and then he let his eyes wander all over the young blonde’s body.
Again, Luke was wearing a pair of dark denim that were so tight Reid questioned his Luke was wearing anything underneath them. He was also in a hoodie, since the weather was slowly turning from summer to fall. Reid knew that hoodie well; he had given it to Luke after about a year into their relationship. Luke would wear it and snuggle up on his shoulder as they watched a movie or TV and Reid could always feel the hood on his shoulder or brush against his cheek. It had a distinct ‘Luke’ smell.
Reid dropped his eyes the minute that he heard Casey call out for Luke saying that he was ready to go. Reid stuck his face back down into the patients file and quickly went back to work. He quickly darted his eyes up to see Luke and Casey walking towards the exit.
Reid tried all day to get the memory of Luke snuggled up next to him on the couch out of his mind but he couldn’t. It was a long Thursday.
--
Friday seemed to roll around much slower than normal and Reid was dying for his shift to end so he could finish some paper work and finally rest. That was the plan until Katie called and asked if he wanted to go to dinner when he was done with work. He was about to decline, but she quickly threw in the offer that she’ll pay. He was never one to turn down a free meal.
Reid went home and showered before meeting up with Katie at Al’s. His work week was an astounding 75-hours and he needed this break, although with Katie, it ended up being mostly relationship advice and he was going to try to steer clear of that subject as much as possible. Luke Snyder had been swimming in his head enough these past couple of days.
“Reid…Earth to Reid Oliver.”
“Sorry Katie, what were you saying?” Reid said as he picked at his now cold fries. He started swirling one around in the ketchup.
“I just asked how you are doing.” Her voice held concern that did not pick up on.
“I am fantastic.”
“I don’t know why you lie to me.”
“Katie, what do you want me to say?”
“You can tell me the truth. Reid I’m your best friend. I haven’t and I won’t ever judge you.”
Reid dropped the cold fry.
“I’m tired.”
“That’s it?”
“I started working even more than before…it happened.”
“And?”
“He called me.”
“When! Did you answer?”
“I was just about to go to sleep so I let it go to voicemail. But then I listened to it.” Reid dropped his head. Why did everybody in Oakdale feel like they always need to know how everybody is feeling? And why did he always give in to them.
“Reid, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to push you further…” Katie said sympathetically. Unlike Reid, she was much better at reading and picking up on body language. She could tell he hated talking about this, but if there was one thing she knew, it was that although painful; talking about it can make it feel better.
“I guess since you got me started we might as well finish.” It came off angrier than he would have liked. Katie lowered her eyes and blinked slowly. “Sorry.” He quickly apologized.
“It’s ok. I know how you feel.”
“That’s the thing. I listened to the message and he must have known. He literally called me the day that I started to lose my anger towards what he did. And he said all the right things. I hadn’t seen him for a week. He stopped calling, texting, sending me memos at the hospital. I never once ran into him randomly; never even saw the back of his head. But this week, I think I’ve run into him three times.”
Katie was just about to speak when Reid cut her off.
“Make that four.” Reid said lowering his voice. Reid’s back was mostly towards Luke but he could see the blonde’s reflection in the window. Damn, Luke was looking incredible. Reid watched as Luke picked up his carry-out and left without even noticing or saying one word more. Katie watched as Reid’s eyes followed the reflection.
Once Luke was clearly gone, Reid let out a sigh.
“Oh you’ve got it bad.”
Reid just nodded.
“The problem is, he doesn’t even acknowledge me. I don’t even think he sees me. Plus, he looks amazing. Like…” Reid trailed off. He didn’t need to give Katie the details how he had been getting off the thought of Luke in those tight jeans every night since Wednesday.
“You guys obviously need to talk. You obviously want him back, but unless you guys actually talk about what happened, you’ll never get past it. You have given him no indication that you are ever going to make a decision. I just fear that he might move on, while you are still holding a grudge.”
Reid heard what Katie had said. He hadn’t ever thought about that. Maybe Luke would just move on because he was too stubborn to actually face the problem. Reid was ready to go. Too much Luke talk.
“Thanks for dinner Katie, but I got to call it an early night.”
“I understand.”
They both got up and left Al’s. Reid went back to his place and threw himself on the bed. He couldn’t stop thinking about Luke and how maybe he might have already started to move on. The idea scared him. Luke was gorgeous, young, and smart, it wouldn’t be that hard for him to find somebody new.
Reid knew they needed to talk; it was just an issue of when and where.
--
Reid didn’t have to work very long on Saturday and he was out by 4:00pm. He went home and settled into some lounge wear. He was tired yet thankful that he had a the rest of the night off -god hoping there was no emergency and all of Sunday as well. He needed a break.
Around 7:30 there was a knock on his door. Going against his better judgement he relucently got up to answer it.
“Katie, what are you doing here?”
“Hurry up and get changed you are coming with me to my sister’s party.”
“No. No-no-no I’m too exhausted I just want the night off.”
“Two words. Food and alcohol.”
Reid didn’t respond and Katie made her pleading face.
“Please Reid, please, please, please!”
“Dear god women, get a hold of yourself. Fine I’ll go.” As much as he hated socializing with people, it would be nice to get out of the house and not be lost in his thoughts or have to worry about running into Luke. Why would Luke be at Margo’s party anyways?
“You’re the best!”
“You had me at ‘food.’” He said with a small smile.
Author: hugocabret
Pairing: Luke/Reid
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 4014
Summary/Prompt: Reid breaks up with Luke and they find it very hard to stay away from each other. They are both powerless to their attraction to one another, and every time they run into one another their extreme passion (whether it be lust or anger) for each other comes out. Reid wants to take a break but Luke makes it difficult for him. Their love is tested and there are many obstacles in the way and they find out if their love can survive.
Chapter Summary: Casey and Luke hang out.
Author's note: SORRY THIS CHAPTER TOOK SO LONG. IT TOOK ME FOREVER TO WRITE IT. HOPE YA'LL LIKE IT :)
Disclaimer: not my characters, all mistakes are mine.
Previous Chapters Prologue | One | Two | Three
After staying at the farm for three weeks, Luke had decided it was finally time to get his own place. As much as he loved being around his family, after two and half almost three years of living with Reid, or at least sleeping over at Reid’s, he had gotten used to his independence. He knew his mother and father meant well, but it was not a conducive location to try to move on. His mother was always harping in his ear about love and how it the universe worked in mysterious ways. His father was trying to give him bits of advice here and there. However, Luke, no offensive to his parents, thought that they were not the best people to be preaching on the subject of love.
Therefore, he moved out and got an apartment, a furnished one because majority of his stuff was still at his old place. Reid had not dropped it off or hinted that he needed to come and get it. All good signs.
Luke had only been settled in for about an hour when there was a knock on his door. Due to wanting his privacy and independence, he had only one person where he was moving to, he laughed, it was so like them to show up the first day and unannounced.
Luke walked over to the door and opened it.
“PARTY!” Casey announced as he walked in, carrying a pizza which smelled absolutely delicious, and Luke was starving.
“Case, I’ve barely moved in.” Luke said in a not very heartfelt protest.
“Dude, You’ve been a hermit since, well whatever you are calling it or not calling it. You need to live a little. That is where I come in. I am the best person to make you forget about the shit happening in your life.”
Luke couldn’t argue with Casey’s analysis of himself. Casey was so carefree and ridiculous and charming that he could make the President of the United States forget the stress of his life. He didn’t know before Casey showed up, but it was exactly what he needed.
“So, lets eat.”
They both settled into their idle chatter, catching up on each other’s lives. Talking about work, talking about family, talking about movies and sports and other dumb things happening in pop culture, it was just what Luke needed. An escape from his everyday where all he did was think about his mistake and Reid.
Luke was enjoying Casey’s easy company. With Casey, you didn’t need to impress him. Their friendship was effortless and it was then that Luke really realized how much he had missed his good friend.
Then, unexpectedly, Casey spoke about the elephant in the room.
“Hey man, I just wanted to apologize…” Casey started with a mouthful of pizza.
“What do you have to be sorry for?”
“Dr. Oliver heard about Noah from me, and I…”
Luke was silent. He didn’t know how to respond. He had wondered how Reid had found out but had never concluded one that made sense. The only plausible idea that he could think of was that Noah had called him, to find out if he had told Reid or if he was trying to hide it.
“…I know you’re mad at me.”
“Case, I’m not mad at you, I just didn’t know.”
“Luke, I’m sorry. He never would have known about it if I could keep my mouth shut. I didn’t know he was behind me and I was just telling Alison and...”
“It’s not your fault, it’s mine. He would have found out eventually but I should have told him the minute it happened, but I was too stupid and scared.”
“Thanks dude, I just needed to get it off my chest.” Casey said as he exhaled.
“I’m happy you told me.”
“I guess since we are on the subject and I am your best friend, how are things on that front. Any progress?”
“I’m dying Case. I fucked up so bad and you know how Reid is. He won’t even look at me. Well one time he did and it didn’t end well.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“The night of the cardio-wing opening, he was drunk and I was desperate to talk to him and…”
“And what? Come on Luke, since we are having a weird kinda awkward man talk right now you have to spill all the details.”
“We kindahadsexinthebathroom.” Luke rushed out before lowering his head. He was blushing like a fool.
“Interesting…” Luke looked up to see Casey with a dumb smile on his face.
“What is?”
“Well, when I was trying to win Allison back, I gave her no choice but to see me all the time.”
“Yeah…”
“Well, when was the last time you talked to him?”
“Case, I’m just going to throw this out there, but the fact that we are discussing my relationship and you are dishing out advice, I’m kinda weirded out by it”
“This is a one time only thing and if you tell anybody about this, I’ll have your head. I need to uphold my womanizing image.” Casey said facetiously, he had been serious with Alison for almost three years, so Luke was willing to listen to his advice.
“Fine, the last time I talked to him was a couple of days after it happened. But it was less of a talk and more an argument. He claims he only did it because he was drunk. Which is true, he was pretty hammered by the time we met up.”
Casey gave a small laugh and Luke made a face at him that was full of confusion. He didn’t know why Casey was laughing at this.
“Dude, you are in the perfect situation. Dr. O still wants you. He’s mad yes, but so was Allison but I knew she still loved me and wanted to be with me. So what did I do? I got a job at the hospital so she would see my everyday and be reminded of how much we loved and still loved each other. You obviously can’t do that because you have so many jobs already, but you just need to be where he is. You know his schedule; you know where he likes to go. You don’t even need to talk to him; he just needs to see you.”
“Why does this sound like stalking?”
Casey laughed. “You aren’t stalking him. It’s going to be coincidental.”
“Big word, impressed.”
“I try.” Casey said with a smile, genuinely proud of himself for using that word.
“It’s not a bad idea.”
“No, it isn’t. If you are just there, in his mind he might forgive you faster. If you don’t talk to him or see him, he’ll only have the bad memories and those will fester and grow and he might never get out of it.”
“Where did you learn all this?” Luke asked. He was surprisingly shocked with how much Casey’s relationship advice seemed to be right. Majority of the time he had no clue what he was talking about but what he had just told Luke would probably work. He knew Reid still cared. The way that he had looked at him from across the room at the hospital, yeah, he might have been drunk but Luke could see in his eyes how badly he wanted to forgive him.
“Lots of trial and error.”
They dropped the subject and went back to talking about more lighter things. Such as the new menu items at Al’s and how good they were, to how excited they both were for Will to visit. Although Luke was engaged in the subject matter he kept thinking about Reid, he knew what he needed to do.
“Case, can you hold on just a moment?”
Casey nodded as Luke got up and went into his bedroom. He pulled his blackberry out of his pocket. He needed to call Reid. Even if Reid didn’t answer, he needed to tell him something.
--
Reid was lying in bed. It had been a long day at the hospital-almost 14 straight hours and the only thing he wanted was sleep. His eyelids were heavy and he was just on the brink of sleep when he heard his blackberry vibrate on his bedside table, he let it go to voicemail. He knew it wasn’t the hospital because they would have paged him as well. Right now all he cared about was sleep.
--
“Dr. Reid Oliver …. BEEP”
“Hey Reid…It’s Luke. I just wanted to call and say that I’m sorry about how you found out about what happened. I should have told you the minute I came home. I shouldn’t have lied to you. I have never lied before and I don’t know why I thought that I would start there. I’m so sorry. I hope you know how sorry I truly am. I was just so scared of what would happen and I know I only made it worse. My worse fears came true and it was because I broke your trust. I will do anything to make it up to you. I miss you like fucking crazy… and um, I…that’s all.” Luke paused for a moment. He didn’t want to say goodbye. “I love you.” He whispered meekly “I love you so much.” The last part was barely above a whisper.
He hoped that Reid would at least listen to the message before deleting it.
--
Reid heard the noise on his blackberry signaling that he had a voicemail. As tired as he was, his curiosity kept him from falling asleep. He begrudgingly leaned over and swiped his phone off the night side table.
missed call - Luke Snyder
1 new voicemail
Reid went against his better judgment and played the message. He knew if he deleted it, he would wonder about it what it might have said and rehash it and what the possibilities of why Luke might have called over and over. It would have drove him crazy.
He laid in the dark and listened to Luke’s voice.
He replayed it again.
And again.
And again.
After the fifth listen, he finally put his phone back down. It had been a week since he had heard Luke’s voice and he had missed it so much. His wounds were slowly beginning to heal he could hear what an effort that Luke was making and how sincere he sounded.
It was a start.
--
Luke came back into the room to see that Casey had surprisingly started to clean up from their pizza-fest.
“Anyways bro, my mom is having some sort of birthday party this weekend, it’s at Metro and I really don’t want to be the only dude there so will you please come.” Casey hollered over by the kitchen where he was trying to smash the box of pizza smaller to be thrown away.
“Sure sounds fun, I think my parents are going to that as well.”
“Great.” Casey looked at the clock above the microwave. “Dude, this has been fun and all, but I gotta get back to Alison.”
“Sure, no problem. This is my fight night here, I think I want to spend it alone. As much as I would love for you to sleepover with me.” Luke said with a smile.
“Gross dude, wasn’t it bad enough that we talked about relationships tonight?”
Luke just laughed. Luke walked Casey to the door before letting him out.
Luke finally exhaled as he sat down on the couch of his new apartment. He had never lived alone. First he lived with his parents, then Noah, then his parents, then Reid, then his parents. He wanted to feel like he might be maturing a little bit but the circumstances weren’t organic. He let his mind fall blank as he listened to the emptiness of his place. He liked it. He would be able to think and work without interruption. This change might actually be a good thing.
Once Luke finally pulled himself off the couch he slowly wandered into the bedroom. He had made sure that all the lights were off and that the door was locked and that everything was in it’s place. If anything, he needed order right now.
Luke let Casey’s idea run through his head as he tried to fall asleep. It wasn’t the best idea, but currently he was desperate for anything that might work. He needed to talk to Reid. Even more, he wanted Reid to want to talk to him.
He decided that any encounter would be coincidence and that instead of trying to avoid him if they were in the same place, he would make his presences know. Casey was right; Reid did still want to be with him.
He would just have to make it hard for him to not want be with him.
--
Reid deleted the voicemail the next morning (after listening to it two more times) while he got a cup of coffee at Java. He didn’t want the nagging reminder of Luke’s voice, which sounded so sweet and sincere, to be just a click away. He had just been able to clear his mind and let his anger start to dissipate, and then Luke had to call and remind him.
Reid sipped his coffee, he started drinking it black to save some time now that he was Chief of Staff, but Wednesday’s were a rare day where he could actually sit down and relax for just a moment. He glazed over the newspaper, but nothing newsworthy was going on.
Since his break with Luke, his life was slowly turning back into what it was in Dallas. A life where work dominated his day and anything on the peripheral was not important. When he was with Luke, Luke made other things important, even if it was just to take time out to go for a walk or listen to a new cd. Since the break, he had already retreated so far back into his old ways that he had subscribed to six new medical journals and he considered doing paperwork fun. He had also cut his contact down to just Katie.
Luke knew that you lived your life; you didn’t let your life live you.
Reid took another sip of his coffee before letting out a heavy exhale. Luke had changed him, whether he knew it or liked it. However, trust was the most important thing to him. When he operates, people but their lives in his hands and they trust him to do the best that he can. His trust and their trust, is the only thing that the family members can hold on to while their loved ones are hurting. Luke knew this. Luke also believed in it.
Reid took another sip of his coffee, his ears perked up when he heard a familiar voice but he wouldn’t let his eyes look up, not yet.
“Hey - can I get one caramel apple cider?” Luke asked the barista. “They sound so gooood.” He soothed out.
Reid could not help but barely lift his eyes. He just did not want to make eye contact. Thankfully, Luke’s back was too him. Unfortunately, Luke looked smoking hot. Luke was leaning over the counter, and his feet were barely bouncing up and down in anticipation. His jeans were incredibly tight and it took all of Reid’s power to not let his brain go where it wanted to go.
For all he knew, Luke had not even seen him sitting there.
Reid lowered his head just a little bit and allowed his eyes to barely glance up at the eager blonde waiting for his drink. Reid watched as the back of Luke’s shirt slowly raised, revealing the smallest bit of his lower back. This time, Reid couldn’t help but stare.
“Your drink” the barista said as he handed Luke his order.
“Thanksss” Luke said letting the s’s hiss out. Reid had heard that thanks before, in their bedroom. Before leaving Luke took a sip, “Ohh, soo good.” He exclaimed before bounding out of Java.
To the average listener these were normal, but to Reid, it sounded so hot and sexy and incredibly dirty, and Luke hadn’t even seen or known he was there. He quickly got up and threw his unfinished drink away. He was going to need a cold shower before heading back to work.
--
Reid was filling out a patient’s chart when again he heard the familiar voice of Luke Snyder.
“Hey Case, ready to go to lunch?”
“Yeah, dude, just lemme grab my jacket and then we can go.” Reid didn’t look up as he felt Casey Hughes walk past him towards the staff locker room. He could hear Luke shuffling his feet around, but he also knew that he was paying no attention to him. Reid quickly darted his eyes up to see Luke staring at the bulletin board, full of useless inspirational quotes and pictures of people getting better. He watched as Luke looked over the wall, and then he let his eyes wander all over the young blonde’s body.
Again, Luke was wearing a pair of dark denim that were so tight Reid questioned his Luke was wearing anything underneath them. He was also in a hoodie, since the weather was slowly turning from summer to fall. Reid knew that hoodie well; he had given it to Luke after about a year into their relationship. Luke would wear it and snuggle up on his shoulder as they watched a movie or TV and Reid could always feel the hood on his shoulder or brush against his cheek. It had a distinct ‘Luke’ smell.
Reid dropped his eyes the minute that he heard Casey call out for Luke saying that he was ready to go. Reid stuck his face back down into the patients file and quickly went back to work. He quickly darted his eyes up to see Luke and Casey walking towards the exit.
Reid tried all day to get the memory of Luke snuggled up next to him on the couch out of his mind but he couldn’t. It was a long Thursday.
--
Friday seemed to roll around much slower than normal and Reid was dying for his shift to end so he could finish some paper work and finally rest. That was the plan until Katie called and asked if he wanted to go to dinner when he was done with work. He was about to decline, but she quickly threw in the offer that she’ll pay. He was never one to turn down a free meal.
Reid went home and showered before meeting up with Katie at Al’s. His work week was an astounding 75-hours and he needed this break, although with Katie, it ended up being mostly relationship advice and he was going to try to steer clear of that subject as much as possible. Luke Snyder had been swimming in his head enough these past couple of days.
“Reid…Earth to Reid Oliver.”
“Sorry Katie, what were you saying?” Reid said as he picked at his now cold fries. He started swirling one around in the ketchup.
“I just asked how you are doing.” Her voice held concern that did not pick up on.
“I am fantastic.”
“I don’t know why you lie to me.”
“Katie, what do you want me to say?”
“You can tell me the truth. Reid I’m your best friend. I haven’t and I won’t ever judge you.”
Reid dropped the cold fry.
“I’m tired.”
“That’s it?”
“I started working even more than before…it happened.”
“And?”
“He called me.”
“When! Did you answer?”
“I was just about to go to sleep so I let it go to voicemail. But then I listened to it.” Reid dropped his head. Why did everybody in Oakdale feel like they always need to know how everybody is feeling? And why did he always give in to them.
“Reid, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to push you further…” Katie said sympathetically. Unlike Reid, she was much better at reading and picking up on body language. She could tell he hated talking about this, but if there was one thing she knew, it was that although painful; talking about it can make it feel better.
“I guess since you got me started we might as well finish.” It came off angrier than he would have liked. Katie lowered her eyes and blinked slowly. “Sorry.” He quickly apologized.
“It’s ok. I know how you feel.”
“That’s the thing. I listened to the message and he must have known. He literally called me the day that I started to lose my anger towards what he did. And he said all the right things. I hadn’t seen him for a week. He stopped calling, texting, sending me memos at the hospital. I never once ran into him randomly; never even saw the back of his head. But this week, I think I’ve run into him three times.”
Katie was just about to speak when Reid cut her off.
“Make that four.” Reid said lowering his voice. Reid’s back was mostly towards Luke but he could see the blonde’s reflection in the window. Damn, Luke was looking incredible. Reid watched as Luke picked up his carry-out and left without even noticing or saying one word more. Katie watched as Reid’s eyes followed the reflection.
Once Luke was clearly gone, Reid let out a sigh.
“Oh you’ve got it bad.”
Reid just nodded.
“The problem is, he doesn’t even acknowledge me. I don’t even think he sees me. Plus, he looks amazing. Like…” Reid trailed off. He didn’t need to give Katie the details how he had been getting off the thought of Luke in those tight jeans every night since Wednesday.
“You guys obviously need to talk. You obviously want him back, but unless you guys actually talk about what happened, you’ll never get past it. You have given him no indication that you are ever going to make a decision. I just fear that he might move on, while you are still holding a grudge.”
Reid heard what Katie had said. He hadn’t ever thought about that. Maybe Luke would just move on because he was too stubborn to actually face the problem. Reid was ready to go. Too much Luke talk.
“Thanks for dinner Katie, but I got to call it an early night.”
“I understand.”
They both got up and left Al’s. Reid went back to his place and threw himself on the bed. He couldn’t stop thinking about Luke and how maybe he might have already started to move on. The idea scared him. Luke was gorgeous, young, and smart, it wouldn’t be that hard for him to find somebody new.
Reid knew they needed to talk; it was just an issue of when and where.
--
Reid didn’t have to work very long on Saturday and he was out by 4:00pm. He went home and settled into some lounge wear. He was tired yet thankful that he had a the rest of the night off -god hoping there was no emergency and all of Sunday as well. He needed a break.
Around 7:30 there was a knock on his door. Going against his better judgement he relucently got up to answer it.
“Katie, what are you doing here?”
“Hurry up and get changed you are coming with me to my sister’s party.”
“No. No-no-no I’m too exhausted I just want the night off.”
“Two words. Food and alcohol.”
Reid didn’t respond and Katie made her pleading face.
“Please Reid, please, please, please!”
“Dear god women, get a hold of yourself. Fine I’ll go.” As much as he hated socializing with people, it would be nice to get out of the house and not be lost in his thoughts or have to worry about running into Luke. Why would Luke be at Margo’s party anyways?
“You’re the best!”
“You had me at ‘food.’” He said with a small smile.