So much for my time to shine. Senior year has been a complete fuck show thus far.

This is true of my Capricorn sign. I do not give light to things that are completely beyond my control such as the end of the world. Apparently on December 21, 2012 the world is supposed to end. What do I say to that? If that's the last day of my life, then that's the last day of my life. I cannot control that. All I can control is how I treat the ( Read more... )

I used to go back and delete entries or cross things out in old journals if they didn't pertain to how I felt anymore, but I won't do that. My old entries are a reminder of how I used to feel and how far I've come. Of what I learned and of what I have left to learn. College has been an interesting time, and a turning point in my life. In the last ( Read more... )

I'm actually excited about this because I'm going to have so much time to take care of myself and so much less stress to deal with.

I have the answer as to how I can get my life back and be with the person I love at the same time and it couldn't be clearer. I've been asked to take a leap of faith even though it will be hard and uncomfortable for me. I've been asked to understand without understanding, to trust without being entirely certain. The person I love needs me to take ( Read more... )

I've become someone I dislike more than anyone. I've allowed my happiness to be based on one person and I hate it. I have allowed myself to be crippled by that person and have sat in the sidelines while I should be experiencing life. My goal in life is to make sure everything is okay with this person. OVER MY OWN NEEDS. I will stand out in the cold ( Read more... )

If only I don't bend or break
I'll meet you on the other side
I'll meet you in the light

If only I don't suffocate
I'll meet you in the morning when you wake.

i feel so weird about going back to school. i dont know why. I am so sick of summer yet i'm not ready to go back to school. im nervous ( Read more... )

Tonight I watched a tape of my 8th grade play "fagins boys." it was really oliver twist, and i was fagan. it was funny to watch the tiny nerdy 8th grader that i once was but also quite thrilling to see myself bring a stage to life and to realize that i was quite talented. while i watched i was constantly looking for familiarities in myself that i ( Read more... )

I basically have two weeks left of the summer. Tonight Sam and I were talking about the crazy stuff that went on last year at fordham, the fun times we've had, and just the insane ness of college life. Since I've had in my head all summer the thought that i can't wait to get back to school and that thought alone, i hadnt realized how i became used ( Read more... )