well, there i go again...always trying to make something out of nothing. i don't even know if it's wishful thinking or delusional as of this point. i mean, you would think i would have exhausted myself out by now...always jumping into things without hesitation or thoughts only to end up in the same place i always end up. i'll never fucking learn ( Read more... )

The thing about jumping to conclusions is to never do it. That's just about the same idea for the leap of faith. Whatever grand delusions there might be, whatever narrative that is suppose to play out, whatever emotions manifest...being realistic and weary. It could be absolutely nothing at all. Now we wouldn't want to be caught in that kind of a ( Read more... )

So there exists nights where i stay up to lose myself for awhile and allow myself the vulnerability to cry as little or as much as i want to about something as trivial as a passing flame, some guy not even worth the first tear that fell. Because to me, it was significant. He was important. The way i felt put that person in some sort of pedestal ( Read more... )

There is ALWAYS a part of yourself that you cannot and will not allow yourself to reveal. No matter the tears shed, no matter the utter loneliness, no matter every obstacle and hill you face, no matter how much it hurts, or how many pieces you shatter apart into. You just have to hold on. Hold on to what is there, hold on to the people that are ( Read more... )

i'm scared...i'm so scared of being too into my head. i'm afraid i'm starting to lose my touch on what used to make me happy. it's hard watching friendships changing right in front of your eyes. it's real hard to force yourself to accept that some things do actually change, no matter how timeless and unbreakable you may think. some bonds will break ( Read more... )

here. i'll lay it out. i am on my last year of my 20s. according to society's standard, i have nothing to show for it. i have a job, but it's far from stable. i have a home, but surely, i don't own it. i have no kids. i have no husband. isn't that what i'm supposed to be doing ( Read more... )

So. You go from making it one step at a time to one day to the next to week after week. Sometimes some songs will trigger something, sometimes even your dreams will manifest his face into your mind. Sometimes it's the urge to reach out or maybe it's the persistent curiousity that compels you to think of him, but at least, you've convince yourself ( Read more... )

i've said all that i can say. i've cried all the tears i had to left cry. i've done my part in obsessing, pleading, and clinging on. i've put myself through more than enough to realize what once was never was nor will it ever be. i just hope for my sanity's sake that i am strong enough to realize my weakness...is that irony? i've been holding on to ( Read more... )

it's like i'm some kind of masochist. re-reading conversation i shouldn't revisit, looking at pictures i shouldn't, replaying certain memories over and over again in my head, obsessing over the thought of some other girl who's been there all along, the entire time. and now he's back there, probably with her, spending all his time there without a ( Read more... )

i guess some things just stay with you more than others. sometimes it's just easier to let yourself wallow and lose yourself a little bit before it gets better. it just feels so heavy, everything just feels so heavy. i can't wake up without thinking about it, i can't fall asleep without dreaming about it...but i can't actually show how i'm feeling ( Read more... )