this
here. i'll lay it out. i am on my last year of my 20s. according to society's standard, i have nothing to show for it. i have a job, but it's far from stable. i have a home, but surely, i don't own it. i have no kids. i have no husband. isn't that what i'm supposed to be doing??
here's the thing. i'm okay with where i'm at. i'm okay with being neurotic and spend all day in bed if i want to. i want to sleep in all day and stay up all night. i don't want to succumb to what modern society considers success to be. so what does that make me?? i'm far from an idiot, but i'm also no genius. where do i go from here?
so all i know is this: i found the people i find worth keeping. it's just that, sometimes, they don't feel the same way about me. not always, but sometimes. i've realize that these people i love and keep within me are my home. i realize that my home is not the where but the who, so the question here lies...do changing the where affect the who? how do i make big life changes without thinking about that factor?
all i know is that once i approach my last year of my twenties, i want to give this gift to myself...i want to give myself the validation that i so yearn for from others. i want to give that to myself. i hope to arrive to a point in my life when i realize validation can't come other people, but it has to come from within oneself. if it's validation is even what it is i'm searching for.
here's the thing. i'm okay with where i'm at. i'm okay with being neurotic and spend all day in bed if i want to. i want to sleep in all day and stay up all night. i don't want to succumb to what modern society considers success to be. so what does that make me?? i'm far from an idiot, but i'm also no genius. where do i go from here?
so all i know is this: i found the people i find worth keeping. it's just that, sometimes, they don't feel the same way about me. not always, but sometimes. i've realize that these people i love and keep within me are my home. i realize that my home is not the where but the who, so the question here lies...do changing the where affect the who? how do i make big life changes without thinking about that factor?
all i know is that once i approach my last year of my twenties, i want to give this gift to myself...i want to give myself the validation that i so yearn for from others. i want to give that to myself. i hope to arrive to a point in my life when i realize validation can't come other people, but it has to come from within oneself. if it's validation is even what it is i'm searching for.