J2 Fic: To the Beat of Our Noisy Hearts (3/4)
Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Art & Music
Jensen shifted his weight from one foot to the other and checked his reflection in the mirror once again. He smoothed down the collar of his shirt, quietly berating himself for being so nervous. It was just a date. He'd done the whole date thing time and time again. Of course, he'd never dated a guy before. Never dated Jared before.
The clock on the wall read 8:30, the time he'd told Jared to meet him. He figured it would be easier to have Jared come to him since Jared already knew where he lived. Three minutes passed and Jensen moved to the window. He peeked through the blinds and looked out into the evening sky. Jensen tried not to laugh at the sight that met him. Jared was out on the sidewalk, pacing back and forth, and it looked like he was muttering to himself. Jensen smiled, suddenly feeling a lot better. It seemed he wasn't the only one nervous about tonight. Jared suddenly stopped his pacing and looked towards the house. Startled, Jensen dropped back, hoping like hell that Jared hadn't caught him watching.
The knock finally sounded at the door and Jensen squared his shoulders. This was it. He was finally meeting Jared face to face. After a week of long conversations, Jensen's crush was worse than ever. It was now or never.
Jared had been facing the yard but quickly turned around when the door opened. Jensen had only a moment to admire the way the blue polo fit across Jared's broad shoulders before his date's eyes widened and he burst out laughing.
Jensen frowned and looked down at his clothes. Did he forget to zip up? He wasn't sure if he should be offended by Jared's reaction. He hadn't been sure what to expect when Jared saw him for the first time but that definitely wasn't it.
Jared wheezed and bit his lip in a vain effort to pull back his laughter. "I'm sorry man, I'm really not laughing at you."
"Ok," Jensen raised an eyebrow. "You want to share with the class?"
Jared grinned, his eyes bright. "It's just that God really does have a sense of humor."
Jensen shook his head. "If you say so," he mumbled. He really had no clue what was so funny but figured it didn't really matter. Jared's laughter, no matter how unexpected, had gone a long way in relieving his nervous tension. "Ready to go?"
"So where are we headed?" Jared asked as Jensen pulled the front door shut, locking it behind him.
Jensen glanced over at his date and smiled. "I don't know about you, but I'm starving," he said.
"I could eat," Jared replied.
"So I've heard," Jensen teased, dodging away as Jared playfully swatted at his shoulder. "How about Cicero's on 4th?"
"Sounds good," Jared agreed with an easy grin. "Feel like walking?"
Jensen nodded and the two of them headed towards the pizza place only a few blocks away from the apartment. It was a gorgeous night. The air was cool and the sky was clear. Conversation flowed easily between them as they walked past the quiet rows of family homes and turned onto 4th. Jensen quickly forgot about his nerves and lost himself in the moment. Being with Jared was easy. It felt natural. It felt right.
Jared reached the door to Cicero's first and held it open, allowing Jensen to enter first. The place was only half full, the dinner rush having already ended. Jensen loved the small restaurant. It was cozy and always had a warm, homey atmosphere. There were various red and white checkered tables set up around the room, accented by the deep forest green of the walls. The lighting was a little dim but Jensen didn't mind. It was comfortable.
"Man, I love this place," Jared murmured as they found a table in a back corner. "I used to come here and study all the time."
"Really?" Jensen couldn't believe he'd never seen Jared there before. "I'm an IHOP man myself."
Jared grinned. "Typical. You should really think outside the box a little more, Jen."
Jensen tried to hide his smile at the nickname that fell easily from Jared's lips as he picked up the menu. He couldn't resist watching Jared over the edge of the paper, blushing when Jared caught his eye. The waitress stopped by long enough to take their drink orders before disappearing once again through the swinging doors into the kitchen.
When the waitress returned to take their order, Jared took the lead. Jensen's eyes widened slightly as Jared rattled off half the menu. "And then whatever he's having," he said, placing the menu back on the table. He looked up and saw Jensen staring at him, mouth wide. "What?"
Jensen just shook his head in amusement and took a drink of his beer. Mike hadn't been lying when he called Jared a bottomless pit.
Jared changed the subject, breaking into a long, involved story about his freshman roommate, complete with hand gestures, as Jensen watched on. He broke off, mid-sentence. "M'sorry, I just tend to ramble when I'm nervous."
Jensen set his glass down on the tabletop, tracing his thumb along the edge. He glanced up at Jared. "You're nervous?"
Jared sighed. "You have no idea."
Jensen offered a small smile. "No need to be," he assured him. "Trust me."
Jared grinned and before long the two of them were trading stories back and forth. Jensen was in the middle of giving Jared some good blackmail material on Mike when a booming voice shouted Jared's name from somewhere across the room. Jared smiled wide and stood up. "Hey Victor," he said as a short man with a red round face crushed Jared to his chest.
"Mia say there is big boy with big appetite and I knew it be you," the man stood back and gave Jared an appraising look. "My Consuela think you too skinny."
Jensen tried not to laugh out loud as Jared's face turned a deep red.
"Yeah, yeah," Jared muttered, rubbing the back of his neck in a move that Jensen found utterly adorable. "Victor, this is Jensen. Jensen, this is Victor. Victor owns this place." Jared waved his hand as he made the introductions.
Jensen smiled and shook Victor's outstretched hand. "You bring friend!" Victor cried, obviously happy.
Jared rolled his eyes. "Yes, I brought a friend," he replied. "Hey, can I get a side of Gramma Suela's special sauce?"
Victor laughed. "For you, anything. Suela will be sad she missed you."
"She doin' ok?" Jared asked.
"Good, good," Victor replied with a wave of his hand. "She just home. Granbabies are coming this weekend."
Jensen sat back and smiled as Victor told tales of his wayward daughter and her planned return. Jared asked questions, nodding and encouraging the older man with a gentle smile. Jensen envied the ease Jared had with others, the way they all just seemed to open up to him.
By the time Victor went back to check on the kitchen, Mia was returning with their food. Jensen eyed the various steaming plates, mindful of the growl of his stomach. He couldn't help but notice the waitress trying to catch Jared's eye as she placed the dishes on the table. But Jared wasn't returning her gaze or looking at the food. He was watching Jensen.
Jensen felt his face heat up and wondered when he started blushing every five minutes. He grabbed a breadstick and tore off the end, popping it into his mouth. "So how do you know Victor?" he asked between bites, noticing the pout on Mia's face as she turned away from the table.
"Well, you know how I mentioned that I study here?" Jensen nodded and Jared continued. "Victor's wife Consuela took a liking to me, I guess. She would come out and sit with me and we'd just talk. She tells the coolest stories, man, about growing up in Italy, about her kids, about everything. Anyway, she started sending me food at the station in an attempt to fatten me up and I help them out here from time to time. Consuela sort of adopted me into the family and Victor, well, he does what Suela tells him. They're good people. They've had some rough times but they've always had each other. Someday, I want what they have."
"Aw, that's sweet." Jensen tried for a hint of sarcasm but couldn't tell if he pulled it off or not.
Jared blushed and took a bite of his pizza. "Shut up."
Jensen laughed and turned his focus to his own food. Dinner flew by, both guys talking easily, sharing stories about their lives. Jensen couldn't remember a time when he'd laughed so hard, especially when Jared described a wild night in Austin involving a group of friends, a deck of cards, a banjo player, and a strategically placed candy necklace.
Jensen gasped as he tried to catch his breath. "Seriously?"
Jared grinned. "Swear to God."
"That's...I have no words."
Jared pushed his plate away from him and leaned back in his chair. Jensen followed the movement with his eyes, noting how Jared's shirt rode up to expose a tiny sliver of skin.
"You ready to get out of here?"
Jensen glanced at his watch. "Yeah. We need to go if we want to be there on time."
Jared raised an eyebrow. "Where exactly is there?"
"You'll see."
"Not even going to give me a clue?"
"Nope," Jensen smiled. "You're a smart boy. I'm sure you'll figure it out."
"Fine," Jared huffed, tossing some bills on the table. "Then let's go. I want to know."
Jensen laughed. "Wow, you really are impatient."
Jared only shrugged in response. "Pretty much," he said as he headed out the door and onto the street. "Lead the way."
Jensen made a left and began walking, knowing Jared would be right behind him. Jared fell into step next to him and immediately began trying to guess their destination.
"Caballeros?"
"No. We just ate."
"Sasparilla?"
"Try again. I've been told not to feed you sugar past 10. Besides, it's nearly 11. Sasparilla closes at 10."
"Ooh, The Golden Lasso?"
Jensen stopped walking and stared at Jared. "Thought you were gay."
Jared just shrugged. "I am."
Jensen ignored Jared's tone and grabbed his arm, tugging him into Jake's. He rolled his eyes as Jared "oohed and ahhed" at the bar's "glamorous interior" while fighting to keep a smile from breaking free.
The small bar was dimly lit and smoky, the air thick and heavy. Jensen made his way past the dark wood bar to one of the empty tables scattered in front of the stage that took up half of one wall. A couple of guys were making some last minute adjustments to the equipment as Jensen dropped into an empty seat.
Jared followed his lead and situated himself at the table, slouching down in the chair and stretching his long legs in front of him. His foot knocked against Jensen's shin. He leaned closer and Jensen tried not to shiver as Jared's breath ghosted across his ear. "Who's playin'?"
"Kane," Jensen replied, shouting just enough to be heard over the noise. The bar wasn't packed but there was a fairly large crowd of people milling around. Jensen noticed Jared's small smile. "What?"
Jared just shook his head. "Nothin'." He raised an arm and signaled to the waitress for two beers. "You come here a lot?"
"Sometimes," Jensen admitted. "I usually come when Kane's playing. Otherwise it's usually Mulligan's over on Vine. I've worked there off and on for the past three years."
The waitress returned with their drinks just as the band made its way to the stage. Chris noticed Jensen right away and shot him a look, mouthing the words Who's he? as he adjusted the microphone on its stand. Jensen glanced at Jared, his emotions warring between happiness that Jared wasn't paying attention and jealousy that he was whispering something into the waitress's ear. Jensen looked at Chris and mouthed later to him as Jared turned back to face him, oblivious of the attention he had been receiving from the stage.
Chris just shrugged and counted out the beat. Jensen lost himself in the music almost immediately, humming along to the familiar tunes. A sudden movement caught his attention as Jared slid his chair around, scooting closer.
Jared tapped out the rhythm on the tabletop, nodding his head in time with the music. Jensen found himself leaning towards Jared, itching to be closer.
The song ended and Chris took the time to make some introductions. Jensen tore his eyes away from Jared to look up at his friend. Chris gave a nod at Jensen and tilted his head to the side, a subtle invitation to join him. Jensen just shook his head. There was no way he could sing with Jared here.
Jared turned towards him, the question clear on his face. "What was that about?"
"Nothing." Jensen shrugged and finished off his beer. He could feel Jared's eyes on him as he waved at the waitress for another round. "Chris just thinks everyone is dyin' to be a star. I'm not really much of a public performer."
"So you know him well?"
"Best friends since high school."
Jared nodded and turned his attention back to the stage as the band started up the next set. He leaned closer so that his shoulder pressed lightly against Jensen's, making him feel hot, every nerve on high alert. His focus was torn between his friend and his date. He finally settled on facing the stage and watching Jared through the corner of his eye.
The second set was over before Jensen knew it. He couldn't remember which songs were played. He could only remember the feel of Jared pressed up against him, his breath hot on his neck as he hollered into his ear to be heard over the music. Jensen looked at the table, covered with several empty beer bottles. "Guess it's a good thing we walked."
Jared snorted as he and Jensen both stood up. "Speak for yourself. I can hold my liquor."
"I should hope so, Sasquatch," Jensen laughed. He couldn't resist patting Jared's stomach as Jared stretched his long arms high above his head. Something flashed in Jared's eyes and Jensen pulled his hand back.
"Jenny!"
Jensen rolled his eyes in Jared's direction and turned toward the interruption. "Don't call me Jenny, you fucker."
Chris tossed an arm around Jensen's shoulder and gave Jared an appraising look. "Well aren't you gonna introduce me to your friend, Jenny?"
Jensen dug his elbow into Chris's ribs. "Chris, Jared. Jared, Chris."
Chris reached for Jared's outstretched hand, a slow smile spreading across his face. "So you're Jared?"
Jared frowned, glancing from Chris to Jensen and back again. "Um, yeah?"
Jensen slammed his heel down on the toe of Chris's boot, hoping to shut him up before he could embarrass him. "Ignore him. Please. We all do."
"It's just that I've heard a lot about you," Chris tightened his grip on Jensen's shoulder, making him squirm. "A whole lot."
And that there was the whole problem. Chris knew too much.
Jared smiled, wide and easy, a mischievous look in his eye. Jensen inwardly groaned, figuring he was up to no good. Jared surprised him, though, with a simple shrug. "Nothing good, I hope."
Chris laughed. "Definitely not." He gestured at the bottles on the table. "Buy you boys another round?"
Jensen glanced at Jared, hoping to get a read what he was thinking. But Jared's face was carefully blank, obviously giving Jensen the choice. Jensen pulled away from Chris and patted him on the shoulder. "Sorry man but we have to get out of here for now. Raincheck?"
Jensen felt a bit guilty for bailing on his friend right after a show. But he was with Jared and if he was being honest with himself, he didn't want to share. It had been a long time since he'd felt this way about someone. The fact that he was feeling it about a guy barely even registered.
Chris stared at Jared for a moment, carefully sizing up the other man. "Sure."
Jensen smiled. "Great. So the Spanish Inquisition can wait."
"What Spanish Inquisition?" Chris attempted to look shocked at the implication.
"See you later, Chris," Jensen grabbed Jared's arm and pulled him towards the door.
As soon as they made it outside, Jared pressed his heels into the ground and swung Jensen around, pressing his back into the wall. "So you talk about me?"
Jensen could feel his face heat up. "Well, your name obviously came up once or twice. We have talked a-"
Jensen trailed off as Jared leaned in closer. Jensen could feel the solid brick of the building against his back. Jared ducked his head lower, his breath ghosting across Jensen's cheek. "If you don't want this, just tell me to stop. But I've-"
Jensen had only a moment to panic before Jared's lips were pressed against his. His mind raced, reality breaking through the haze in a series of still frames. Jared's eyes, dark and heated. His lips, soft and moist against his. Jensen's heart, thumping so hard he was certain Jared could feel it. Jensen closed his eyes and lost himself in the moment. He shifted his weight, trying to figure out what to do with his hands. He finally settled them at Jared's waist, the material of Jared's shirt bunching beneath his fingers.
Jared pulled back and Jensen opened his eyes. Jared was watching him, waiting for a response.
Jensen wasn't sure exactly how he was supposed to react so he just did what felt right. He smiled.
Jensen could see the relief wash over Jared's face. "Now that we've got that out of the way, where to now?"
"I hadn't really planned on anything else," Jensen admitted. "Wasn't sure if I'd be willing to put up with you all night."
"Well I don't know about you, but I could go for something to eat."
Jensen tried not to laugh. He wasn't really hungry but he knew he didn't want the night to end either. He let his eyes roam leisurely from Jared's head to his feet and back again. "Where exactly do you put it all?"
Jared simply ignored the question. "Whataburger work for you?"
"Sure," Jensen replied. "We can take it back to my place if you want. Watch a movie or something."
"As long as you have something where lots of things get blown up." Jared smiled and Jensen found himself once again distracted by his dimples.
Whataburger was just around the corner but Jensen couldn't help but wish the walk were longer. He found himself drifting closer to Jared, happy to just let their arms brush against each other as they moved.
The fast food joint contained the odd assortment of people you could usually find late at night. There were a few groups of college students, some coming from the bars while others simply escaped campus for awhile. There was a trucker or two and a group of girls who looked like they couldn't have been more than sixteen. Jensen thought about his own little sister and hoped she had more sense than to break curfew to hang around a college campus.
They got their order to go and headed back into the cool night air. Jared waved at a couple of guys as they passed but then he gave Jensen his full attention once again.
Jensen felt a little out of sorts as they made their way back to his apartment. He'd done the whole first date thing many times before, but Jared was unlike anyone he'd ever dated. The biggest difference, obviously, was that he was a guy. And that right there was a major revelation. Jensen had never been interested in guys before. He never had reason to consider that he just might swing that way. But then Jared came along and all of his previous notions about himself had flown out the window. At least he was in the right place. College and experimentation sort of went hand in hand.
Jensen could see the front of his building a few blocks away. He shoved his hands deep into his pockets and stared at his door as they drew closer. He felt jumpy, his stomach full of butterflies. Jensen was vaguely aware of Jared saying something but he broke in, his need to confess taking precedence. "I've never kissed a guy before."
Jared quieted and slanted his eyes over at Jensen but kept walking. After a few moments, he spoke. "I had a feeling."
"Really?" Jensen stopped walking and stared at Jared's back.
Jared came to a stop and turned around to face him. He shifted his weight from one point to the other and back again, staring at the ground just in front of Jensen's feet. "Yeah, I figured as much. You talk around past relationships, you avoid the gay issue, and honestly, you've been a bit twitchy all night."
Jensen's mouth dropped open. He knew Jared was observant, he just hadn't realized how observant. "So why'd you do it?"
Jared shrugged and finally looked up. "Just felt right."
Jensen nodded and started walking again. "I'm glad you did."
He snuck a glance over at Jared, happy to see a small smile on his face. "Me too."
"So what do you say we go watch stuff get blown up?"
Jared exhaled and laughed. "Sounds awesome."
By the time they made it through the front door, Jensen was feeling on top of the world. He still had butterflies in his stomach, a sure sign that this was the start of something good. Jared was constantly brushing up against him, a solid reminder of endless possibilities.
Jared flopped down on the couch and began to pull the various items from the bag, setting them out on the coffee table. Jensen knelt down in front of the TV, scanning the rows of DVDs on the shelf.
"There's Die Hard, Kill Bill, Gone in Sixty-"
"Go with Die Hard. It's a classic for a reason." Jared took a bite of his burger.
Jensen popped the disc into the player and turned around. He bit his lip, struck by a sudden awkwardness as he tried to figure out where to sit.
Jared raised an eyebrow. "Dude, I don't bite."
Jensen shook off the momentary uncertainty and dropped down next to Jared. He grabbed up his biscuit sandwich and turned his attention to the movie, tearing at the wrapper.
"This is nice," Jared shifted to turn more towards Jensen. He popped the last bite of his burger into his mouth and wadded up the wrapper, tossing it into the bag on the coffee table.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah," Jared settled deeper into the cushions, his long legs stretched out in front of him. "I don't get to relax too often, especially lately."
"That's just sad. You're still a kid."
"Still a kid?"
Jensen's ears heated up. "I mean-"
Jared chuckled, low and dirty, and let his head roll in Jensen's direction. Jensen swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry. Jared leaned closer and pressed their mouths together. He traced Jensen's lower lip with the tip of his tongue, causing Jensen to gasp. Jared took that as an invitation, slowly licking his way into Jensen's mouth.
Jensen closed his eyes and reveled in the wet warmth of Jared's mouth on his. Jared tasted like cheese and ketchup and something else, something definitely more him. Jared brought one hand up to Jensen's face, cupping it and angling it so that he could deepen the kiss, causing Jensen to groan. He had to admit that Jared knew how to kiss.
When oxygen became an issue, Jared pulled back. "Still think I'm a kid?"
Jensen hummed, his mind still reeling.
Jared sat back and grabbed some fries. "I'll take that as a no," he said, popping them into his mouth.
Jensen wanted to wipe the smug look right off of Jared's face. Then again, Jared had reason to be pleased with himself. Jensen burrowed deeper into the couch cushion and focused on the TV in front of them.
Something kept nagging him, though, and Jensen found it hard to focus. "Jared?"
"Hmmm?"
"Why'd you laugh when you saw me?"
Jensen turned to look at Jared, saw the moment the question infiltrated the haze of his mind. Jared smiled. "I just realized that you were the guy I'd been looking for."
"You were looking for me? When?" Jensen couldn't believe Jared had been trying to find him.
"After the Kane concert last weekend. Thought you were hot but couldn't find you after that. Until tonight." Jared's voice was thick, words slurring together slightly.
Things started making sense. Jensen felt heat pool in his stomach at Jared's words. It was nice to know he wasn't alone with his small infatuation.
Halfway through the movie, Jared shifted, his head falling down to rest on Jensen's shoulder. Jensen was just about to tease Jared for his girly move when he noticed the deep, slow breaths Jared was taking. He glanced down, unsurprised to find Jared sound asleep. He couldn't help but smile and the peaceful look on Jared's face.
By the time the final credits rolled, Jensen's arm was asleep, sharp pins and needles from his shoulder to his fingertips. Just keeping his eyes open was a struggle. Jensen gently pulled away from Jared, lowering him slowly until he was lying flat out on the couch. Jared huffed a sigh and curled into the back cushion. Jensen knew he should probably wake him. The couch wasn't long enough for him, let alone a giant like Jared. He should wake him. But Jensen just couldn't bring himself to disturb him. If Jared woke up stiff and grouchy, he'd deal with it in the morning.
Jensen debated just leaving Jared as he was but decided to make him a bit more comfortable. He pulled Jared's shoes off, letting them fall to the floor with a soft thump. Then he grabbed an extra blanket from the closet, carefully draping it over the prone body on the couch. He allowed himself a moment to look at Jared, cataloging the little details he'd never noticed before. There was a tiny mole on the underside of his jaw and a long thin scar on the back of one hand. Little things, really, but each one probably had a story behind it and Jensen wanted to learn them all.
Jensen exhaled, exhaustion taking over. He made his way down the hall to his bedroom, turning off the light as he passed. Jensen went through the motions of his nightly routine, mind already half-asleep and focused on the man in the other room. He finally flopped down on the bed and tugged the sheet over him. Sleep pulled at his mind and Jensen drifted off, thoughts of big, strong hands and a warm mouth easing the way into a dreamless sleep.
xxxxxx
Jared woke slowly, opening his eyes just a crack as he looked at his surroundings. It took a moment before it registered where he was. A sleepy smile graced his lips as he remembered the night before, his date with Jensen.
His mystery man had a name and life was pretty damn perfect at the moment.
A loud clatter came from the kitchen and Jared decided that he was awake enough to investigate. He rolled off the couch, groaning as he stretched, his muscles cramped from sleeping on the couch all night.
He stumbled over to the entryway and leaned against the wall. Jensen had his back to him, humming under his breath as he worked at the stove. He was casually dressed in a navy blue shirt and jeans, his hair still damp from his shower.
Jared was just reaching up to feel how disastrous his case of bedhead was when Jensen turned around. "Oh shit," he said, clutching at his chest.
Jared smirked. "Mornin'." He yawned and wiped the back of his hand across his eyes. "Whatcha makin?"
Jensen took a deep breath. "Toasted cheese. We seem to be out of pretty much everything around here."
Jared frowned. "Toasted cheese at..." He glanced at the clock on the wall. "12:30...yeah, that makes sense."
"Did you sleep ok?" Jensen walked over to him and reached up to run a hand through Jared's hair, making it stick up even more. "I thought about waking you up, but you looked like you needed it."
Jared shrugged. "I can pretty much sleep anywhere," he admitted. "Sorry for passing out on you last night."
"Don't sweat it." Jensen moved back to the stove and grabbed a spatula, flipping over the sandwiches before moving the fridge. "Want something to drink? We have beer, beer, beer, and milk."
Jared laughed. "Let's go for the milk."
Jensen pulled the carton out and sniffed it, shrugging his shoulders and grabbed two glasses from the cabinet. He motioned for Jared to take a seat at the bar as he filled the glasses.
Jared watched as Jensen moved around the kitchen easily, setting the glasses in front of him and pulling out paper plates for the sandwiches. When the food was done, the two of them settled into a comfortable silence, happy just to enjoy their food and each other.
When Jared finished his meal, he pushed the plate away. "That was perfect."
Jensen snorted. "Yeah, I'm a real gourmet cook."
Jared laughed. "Trust me, it was great in my book. I've been living off of ramen and school food for way too long."
"Glad to know my food ranks higher than school food."
"Well, you know that doesn't say much." Jared smirked at Jensen, laughing as Jensen punched his shoulder.
Jared grabbed their now-empty plates and tossed them in the garbage. Jensen watched him from his perch on the stool. When Jared was done, he moved to stand between Jensen's knees, leaning in and placing a gentle kiss on his lips.
"Man, I wish I had a toothbrush right about now."
Jensen chuckled and wrapped his arms around Jared's waist, pulling him closer. "I don't mind," he said as their mouths pressed and slid against each other.
Jared relaxed in Jensen's loose embrace, content with their slow, lazy kisses. This is exactly how he figured a good morning should be. Nice and easy. Comfortable. But as much as he wanted to stay, there were things he had to do.
"I should probably go." Jared reluctantly pulled back, away from the warmth of Jensen's body. "I need to shower and there's this paper that I really do need to finish."
Jared didn't want to leave but he did want to see Jensen again.
"Yeah," Jensen agreed, his eyes following Jared's every move as he moved into the living room and tugged on his shoes. "So I guess then-"
"Pick me up at 7?"
Jensen smiled, wide and bright. "Yeah, I think that can be arranged."
xxxxxx
"Did you always want to work in radio?"
Jensen glanced over at Jared, who was sprawled across the ground. The two of them were relaxing in the quad, enjoying the mid-afternoon sun.
"Pretty much, yeah." Jared's voice was thick and heavy, his eyes closed against the bright light. "Well, there was a time when I was six and I wanted to be the Boogeyman."
Jensen snorted. "The Boogeyman."
Jared grinned. "Yeah. My sister was terrified of the Boogeyman so I thought that would be the greatest job ever."
"What made you decide to go into radio, then, if you had this illustrious career all planned out?" Jensen picked at the grass and glanced over at Jared.
"Boogeyman position was already taken. Snagged right out from under me. So I had to find something." Jared laughed and rolled onto his side, facing Jensen. "I don't know, man. I've just always had this thing for music. There's so much of it out there and every song has a story. I'm just-"
"Passionate about it?"
Jared stared at him for a moment. "Yeah. That's it. I'm just passionate about it. I can't imagine doing anything else."
Jensen nodded and laid back. He felt warm and sluggish from the sun. He closed his eyes and imagined his arms and legs melting into the ground beneath him.
"What about you?"
"Huh?" Jensen forced his mind to focus on Jared.
"Did you always want to be a teacher?"
"Actually, no." Jensen thought about his past, his high school aspirations. "I wanted to be a sports physician."
"Really? That's kinda cool." Jared reached a hand out and traced Jensen's arm with his finger, outlining Jensen's right side. "What happened?"
"Don't know." Jensen frowned. He couldn't remember actually changing his mind. "Got older, I guess. Dreams change."
Jared was quiet for a minute. "Jen, you're going to make a good teacher."
Jensen smirked. "How do you know that?"
Jared shrugged. "I don't know. I just do."
And really, Jensen couldn't say anything else to that. So he didn't. He just let the sun wash over him as they fell into a comfortable silence.
After nearly two weeks together, Jared had such a strong belief in him and in them. He saw no reason to doubt things.
Jensen closed his eyes and sighed, draping one arm over his eyes. He just wished he had a fraction of Jared's confidence. He was happier than he'd been in a long time, but it scared him. He was afraid to put labels on what he was feeling. Labeling it would just make it real. And once it was real, it had the potential to fall apart.
As long as things weren't labeled, he'd be fine.
xxxxxx
"So, you going to be home tonight?"
"Why wouldn't I be? I'll probably just be late." Jared tucked the phone into the crook of his neck while he adjusted the next set. Chad had been unusually talkative that night and though Jared loved the guy, he was a bit distracted at the moment to maintain a normal conversation.
"I take it you haven't slept with him yet?" Jared could imagine Chad's wide-eyed exasperation. "Lame."
"Not all of us put out on the first date like you." Jared rolled his eyes and tried to keep the irritation out of his voice.
"Ooh, touchy. So I take it that he's the chick in this relationship?"
"And that there is why you're alone and miserable."
"Alone, maybe. But who says I'm miserable?"
Chad snorted and Jared took a deep breath, deciding to change gears before he seriously began contemplating murder. "Look man, I've gotta go. I have a few things to do before I'm off."
"Whatever," Chad huffed. "Just do me a favor and fuck him already. If I hear moaning coming from your bed when you're all alone one more time-"
"Bye Chad." Jared hung up the phone, effectively cutting that conversation short.
Things were actually going really well with Jensen and the last thing Jared wanted to do was scare him away by trying to go too fast. It was a bit scary how into the guy he really was. But Jensen was still adjusting to dating a guy. Jared's minor campus celebrity wasn't helping matters. The buzz about the bachelor poll had finally died down but now they were dealing with the student body's fascination with their relationship. It seemed like all eyes were on them when they went out. So more often than not, they simply stayed in.
Jared adjusted the boom mike and waited for his cue. The final commercial break of the hour was almost over and that meant his shift was nearly finished. The commercial came to an end and Jared punched the button to turn on his mike.
"Well guys, I'm almost out of here. We've survived another Monday but finals are just around the corner. I don't know about you, but that's something I'd rather not think about right now. So I'm going to play another track for this week's theme, 'Pen to Mouth,' instead. Here's singer-songwriter Dave Barnes with 'Grace's Amazing Hands.'"
Once the song started up, Jared let his head fall to the desk. He briefly toyed with the idea of pulling out his Chemistry book and getting a little studying in, despite what he just said on the air, but he just couldn't do it. Every spare moment he had during the upcoming weeks would be spent studying. He just wanted to enjoy what little time he had left to relax.
A light tap at the window caught Jared's attention. He couldn't stop the slow grin from spreading across his face when he saw Jensen just outside the door. He double-checked the settings on the computer and waved him in.
Jensen opened the door a crack and stuck his head inside. "Hey."
"Hey yourself." Jared couldn't stop smiling. "I didn't think you'd be here until after 9."
Jensen shrugged, pushing his way into the tiny room and shutting the door quietly behind him. "Tutoring finished up early so I thought I'd come keep you company."
Jared noticed the faint flush across Jensen's cheeks, the freckles dusting his cheekbones standing out in stark contrast. It was kind of cute how Jensen still seemed a little flustered around him even after a couple of weeks together.
"I'm glad you did," Jared admitted, settling back in his chair. "I was actually thinking about studying."
"The horror. Good thing I came early, then." Jensen slid down to sit on the floor, his back against the desk. He dragged Jared's backpack over and unzipped it, digging through the contents inside.
"What're you lookin' for?"
Jensen frowned. "You don't have anything to eat in here." Jensen sounded surprised. "I figured you, of all people, would at least have a candy bar or something."
"Hungry?"
"Starving."
Jared laughed. "We'll get something on our way to your place, then. Mike should be here in about ten minutes."
Jensen groaned. "I should've just eaten before that last session. But Carrie was early so we just got started so I could finish early and-"
"Just couldn't wait to see me, could you?"
The tips of Jensen's ears turned a dark red. "So, singer-songwriters, huh?"
Jared decided to let Jensen get away with the subject change for now. He had plenty of time to tease him about it later.
Jensen pressed up against the desk, reaching up to grasp the wood next to his head.
Jared rolled his chair closer to Jensen. "Yeah. I was just thinking about the music you played last night and figured it was a good theme," he said as he gently pried Jensen's fingers away from the wood, one by one.
Jensen slammed his hand down on top of Jared's the best he could with a backwards grip. "It's a good theme."
Jared grinned and flipped his hand over, flexing his fingers against Jensen's. "So how did tutoring go?"
Jensen sighed. "Not too bad, I guess. I don't know. It's just frustrating sometimes."
Jared noticed that Jensen didn't pull his hand away, just pressed the tips of his fingers into Jared's palm. "How so?"
Jared felt a gentle pressure at his hand as Jensen shrugged. "Some of these kids, man. Take Carrie, for example. She is actually pretty smart and picks up the material quick enough but I have a feeling she's going to fail my class."
Jensen's frustration was clear. "Too much partying and too little time actually studying. It's like she's determined to-"
Jensen was interrupted by a heavy thump at the door. He pulled his hand away from Jared's like he was scalded and Jared instantly missed the warmth against his fingers. He glared at the door where Mike was still pressed against the window, seeming content to mouth obscene things at them through the glass.
Mike pushed the door open and made his grand entrance, sashaying into the small room with a wide smirk. He was dressed in black from head to toe. His shirt had the sleeves ripped off and safety pins randomly pinned to the material across his chest. His jeans were torn in a way that could only be done on purpose. The entire outfit was topped off with a pair of aviator sunglasses and a wild 80's hair band wig that fell past his shoulders.
Jared snorted back a laugh. "What the hell, man? Halloween was months ago. Why do you look like a reject from the 80's?"
Mike tilted his head down to stare at Jared over the top of his glasses. "I'm creating atmosphere."
Jared heard Jensen attempt to muffle his laughter behind a closed fist, muttering something about changing the locks when he got home to save him from the crazy. Jared grinned up at his friend. "Atmosphere?"
"Yeah, you know, create the mood." Mike smirked. "You know, a lot like you were doing while holding hands with your boyfriend."
"There was no mood! My boy-"
Jared stopped before he said too much. Jensen twisted around to stare at him, his mouth gaping. "Boyfriend?"
Jared bit his lip, panic building in his chest. Shit. Shitshitshit. "I mean, we're not-"
"Oh, don't try to deny it," Mike waved off Jared's pathetic attempt at denial. He shot Jensen a pointed look. "Don't forget that I live with you, man."
Jensen stared at his roommate, eyes wide. "Dude, we're not. I mean, he and I aren't-"
Jared frowned as Jensen ran a hand through his hair in frustration. He wasn't exactly ready to define his relationship with Jensen himself but Jensen seemed freaked out at the mere idea of labeling it at all. Jared shrugged it off. Things were still new and there would be plenty of time to define things later.
Mike appeared to be watching Jensen with a hint of interest but thanks to his glasses, Jared couldn't be sure.
"You do realize it's dark outside, right?"
Mike smiled. "What can I say, baby? I wear my sunglasses at night."
Jared groaned as he reached for the microphone, watching Jensen out of the corner of his eyes. Jensen seemed to have relaxed some, rolling his eyes at his roommate, a small smile on his lips. Jared wanted to lean over and kiss those doubts away but he held himself back. He didn't think that would go over too well.
Mike clapped his hands. "Wrap it up, JT! I have some lust connections to make!"
Jared glanced at the computer and noticed that the final song was winding down. He mentally kicked himself for becoming distracted and nearly missing his cue. This was his job and he should be paying attention. He tugged the headphones down over his hair and closed his eyes, listening to the last strains of the acoustic set.
"That's it for me tonight, guys. Thanks for tuning in to the Mix and I'll see you tomorrow. Time to pay the bills but when we come back, Mad Mike is here for another stimulating episode of 'The Lust Connection.' Until tomorrow, this is Jared and I'm out of here."
Jared pressed the button, turning off his microphone, and removed his headphones. He took a moment to let the satisfaction of another successful shift's passing wash over him before turning to the others in the room. Jensen was watching him with a look Jared couldn't quite define, a slight tilt to his lips, eyes soft.
Jared felt the familiar flutter in his stomach. "Ready to get out of here?"
Jensen nodded. "Let's leave the crazy behind and get something to eat."
"Hey," Mike growled. "I'm offended."
"Whatever. You wouldn't be offended if I called you a two-stepping gorilla with a fetish for raspberry jelly."
Mike tilted his head in Jensen's direction, apparently thinking that over. "You're right," he agreed. "I really wouldn't."
Jared shook his head and swooped down to grab his backpack, zipping it up and pulling the strap over his shoulder. "After you." He gestured toward the exit.
Jensen grabbed the handle and pulled the door open, stepping into the hallway, Jared right on his heels.
"And don't forget, everyone wang chung tonight!"
Jared just rolled his eyes and flipped him off as he and Jensen closed the door, Mike's evil cackle bouncing off the floor tiles. He could see the awkward set of Jensen's shoulders as they headed out into the night.
Jared sighed. Fucking Mike.
Part Four
Jensen shifted his weight from one foot to the other and checked his reflection in the mirror once again. He smoothed down the collar of his shirt, quietly berating himself for being so nervous. It was just a date. He'd done the whole date thing time and time again. Of course, he'd never dated a guy before. Never dated Jared before.
The clock on the wall read 8:30, the time he'd told Jared to meet him. He figured it would be easier to have Jared come to him since Jared already knew where he lived. Three minutes passed and Jensen moved to the window. He peeked through the blinds and looked out into the evening sky. Jensen tried not to laugh at the sight that met him. Jared was out on the sidewalk, pacing back and forth, and it looked like he was muttering to himself. Jensen smiled, suddenly feeling a lot better. It seemed he wasn't the only one nervous about tonight. Jared suddenly stopped his pacing and looked towards the house. Startled, Jensen dropped back, hoping like hell that Jared hadn't caught him watching.
The knock finally sounded at the door and Jensen squared his shoulders. This was it. He was finally meeting Jared face to face. After a week of long conversations, Jensen's crush was worse than ever. It was now or never.
Jared had been facing the yard but quickly turned around when the door opened. Jensen had only a moment to admire the way the blue polo fit across Jared's broad shoulders before his date's eyes widened and he burst out laughing.
Jensen frowned and looked down at his clothes. Did he forget to zip up? He wasn't sure if he should be offended by Jared's reaction. He hadn't been sure what to expect when Jared saw him for the first time but that definitely wasn't it.
Jared wheezed and bit his lip in a vain effort to pull back his laughter. "I'm sorry man, I'm really not laughing at you."
"Ok," Jensen raised an eyebrow. "You want to share with the class?"
Jared grinned, his eyes bright. "It's just that God really does have a sense of humor."
Jensen shook his head. "If you say so," he mumbled. He really had no clue what was so funny but figured it didn't really matter. Jared's laughter, no matter how unexpected, had gone a long way in relieving his nervous tension. "Ready to go?"
"So where are we headed?" Jared asked as Jensen pulled the front door shut, locking it behind him.
Jensen glanced over at his date and smiled. "I don't know about you, but I'm starving," he said.
"I could eat," Jared replied.
"So I've heard," Jensen teased, dodging away as Jared playfully swatted at his shoulder. "How about Cicero's on 4th?"
"Sounds good," Jared agreed with an easy grin. "Feel like walking?"
Jensen nodded and the two of them headed towards the pizza place only a few blocks away from the apartment. It was a gorgeous night. The air was cool and the sky was clear. Conversation flowed easily between them as they walked past the quiet rows of family homes and turned onto 4th. Jensen quickly forgot about his nerves and lost himself in the moment. Being with Jared was easy. It felt natural. It felt right.
Jared reached the door to Cicero's first and held it open, allowing Jensen to enter first. The place was only half full, the dinner rush having already ended. Jensen loved the small restaurant. It was cozy and always had a warm, homey atmosphere. There were various red and white checkered tables set up around the room, accented by the deep forest green of the walls. The lighting was a little dim but Jensen didn't mind. It was comfortable.
"Man, I love this place," Jared murmured as they found a table in a back corner. "I used to come here and study all the time."
"Really?" Jensen couldn't believe he'd never seen Jared there before. "I'm an IHOP man myself."
Jared grinned. "Typical. You should really think outside the box a little more, Jen."
Jensen tried to hide his smile at the nickname that fell easily from Jared's lips as he picked up the menu. He couldn't resist watching Jared over the edge of the paper, blushing when Jared caught his eye. The waitress stopped by long enough to take their drink orders before disappearing once again through the swinging doors into the kitchen.
When the waitress returned to take their order, Jared took the lead. Jensen's eyes widened slightly as Jared rattled off half the menu. "And then whatever he's having," he said, placing the menu back on the table. He looked up and saw Jensen staring at him, mouth wide. "What?"
Jensen just shook his head in amusement and took a drink of his beer. Mike hadn't been lying when he called Jared a bottomless pit.
Jared changed the subject, breaking into a long, involved story about his freshman roommate, complete with hand gestures, as Jensen watched on. He broke off, mid-sentence. "M'sorry, I just tend to ramble when I'm nervous."
Jensen set his glass down on the tabletop, tracing his thumb along the edge. He glanced up at Jared. "You're nervous?"
Jared sighed. "You have no idea."
Jensen offered a small smile. "No need to be," he assured him. "Trust me."
Jared grinned and before long the two of them were trading stories back and forth. Jensen was in the middle of giving Jared some good blackmail material on Mike when a booming voice shouted Jared's name from somewhere across the room. Jared smiled wide and stood up. "Hey Victor," he said as a short man with a red round face crushed Jared to his chest.
"Mia say there is big boy with big appetite and I knew it be you," the man stood back and gave Jared an appraising look. "My Consuela think you too skinny."
Jensen tried not to laugh out loud as Jared's face turned a deep red.
"Yeah, yeah," Jared muttered, rubbing the back of his neck in a move that Jensen found utterly adorable. "Victor, this is Jensen. Jensen, this is Victor. Victor owns this place." Jared waved his hand as he made the introductions.
Jensen smiled and shook Victor's outstretched hand. "You bring friend!" Victor cried, obviously happy.
Jared rolled his eyes. "Yes, I brought a friend," he replied. "Hey, can I get a side of Gramma Suela's special sauce?"
Victor laughed. "For you, anything. Suela will be sad she missed you."
"She doin' ok?" Jared asked.
"Good, good," Victor replied with a wave of his hand. "She just home. Granbabies are coming this weekend."
Jensen sat back and smiled as Victor told tales of his wayward daughter and her planned return. Jared asked questions, nodding and encouraging the older man with a gentle smile. Jensen envied the ease Jared had with others, the way they all just seemed to open up to him.
By the time Victor went back to check on the kitchen, Mia was returning with their food. Jensen eyed the various steaming plates, mindful of the growl of his stomach. He couldn't help but notice the waitress trying to catch Jared's eye as she placed the dishes on the table. But Jared wasn't returning her gaze or looking at the food. He was watching Jensen.
Jensen felt his face heat up and wondered when he started blushing every five minutes. He grabbed a breadstick and tore off the end, popping it into his mouth. "So how do you know Victor?" he asked between bites, noticing the pout on Mia's face as she turned away from the table.
"Well, you know how I mentioned that I study here?" Jensen nodded and Jared continued. "Victor's wife Consuela took a liking to me, I guess. She would come out and sit with me and we'd just talk. She tells the coolest stories, man, about growing up in Italy, about her kids, about everything. Anyway, she started sending me food at the station in an attempt to fatten me up and I help them out here from time to time. Consuela sort of adopted me into the family and Victor, well, he does what Suela tells him. They're good people. They've had some rough times but they've always had each other. Someday, I want what they have."
"Aw, that's sweet." Jensen tried for a hint of sarcasm but couldn't tell if he pulled it off or not.
Jared blushed and took a bite of his pizza. "Shut up."
Jensen laughed and turned his focus to his own food. Dinner flew by, both guys talking easily, sharing stories about their lives. Jensen couldn't remember a time when he'd laughed so hard, especially when Jared described a wild night in Austin involving a group of friends, a deck of cards, a banjo player, and a strategically placed candy necklace.
Jensen gasped as he tried to catch his breath. "Seriously?"
Jared grinned. "Swear to God."
"That's...I have no words."
Jared pushed his plate away from him and leaned back in his chair. Jensen followed the movement with his eyes, noting how Jared's shirt rode up to expose a tiny sliver of skin.
"You ready to get out of here?"
Jensen glanced at his watch. "Yeah. We need to go if we want to be there on time."
Jared raised an eyebrow. "Where exactly is there?"
"You'll see."
"Not even going to give me a clue?"
"Nope," Jensen smiled. "You're a smart boy. I'm sure you'll figure it out."
"Fine," Jared huffed, tossing some bills on the table. "Then let's go. I want to know."
Jensen laughed. "Wow, you really are impatient."
Jared only shrugged in response. "Pretty much," he said as he headed out the door and onto the street. "Lead the way."
Jensen made a left and began walking, knowing Jared would be right behind him. Jared fell into step next to him and immediately began trying to guess their destination.
"Caballeros?"
"No. We just ate."
"Sasparilla?"
"Try again. I've been told not to feed you sugar past 10. Besides, it's nearly 11. Sasparilla closes at 10."
"Ooh, The Golden Lasso?"
Jensen stopped walking and stared at Jared. "Thought you were gay."
Jared just shrugged. "I am."
Jensen ignored Jared's tone and grabbed his arm, tugging him into Jake's. He rolled his eyes as Jared "oohed and ahhed" at the bar's "glamorous interior" while fighting to keep a smile from breaking free.
The small bar was dimly lit and smoky, the air thick and heavy. Jensen made his way past the dark wood bar to one of the empty tables scattered in front of the stage that took up half of one wall. A couple of guys were making some last minute adjustments to the equipment as Jensen dropped into an empty seat.
Jared followed his lead and situated himself at the table, slouching down in the chair and stretching his long legs in front of him. His foot knocked against Jensen's shin. He leaned closer and Jensen tried not to shiver as Jared's breath ghosted across his ear. "Who's playin'?"
"Kane," Jensen replied, shouting just enough to be heard over the noise. The bar wasn't packed but there was a fairly large crowd of people milling around. Jensen noticed Jared's small smile. "What?"
Jared just shook his head. "Nothin'." He raised an arm and signaled to the waitress for two beers. "You come here a lot?"
"Sometimes," Jensen admitted. "I usually come when Kane's playing. Otherwise it's usually Mulligan's over on Vine. I've worked there off and on for the past three years."
The waitress returned with their drinks just as the band made its way to the stage. Chris noticed Jensen right away and shot him a look, mouthing the words Who's he? as he adjusted the microphone on its stand. Jensen glanced at Jared, his emotions warring between happiness that Jared wasn't paying attention and jealousy that he was whispering something into the waitress's ear. Jensen looked at Chris and mouthed later to him as Jared turned back to face him, oblivious of the attention he had been receiving from the stage.
Chris just shrugged and counted out the beat. Jensen lost himself in the music almost immediately, humming along to the familiar tunes. A sudden movement caught his attention as Jared slid his chair around, scooting closer.
Jared tapped out the rhythm on the tabletop, nodding his head in time with the music. Jensen found himself leaning towards Jared, itching to be closer.
The song ended and Chris took the time to make some introductions. Jensen tore his eyes away from Jared to look up at his friend. Chris gave a nod at Jensen and tilted his head to the side, a subtle invitation to join him. Jensen just shook his head. There was no way he could sing with Jared here.
Jared turned towards him, the question clear on his face. "What was that about?"
"Nothing." Jensen shrugged and finished off his beer. He could feel Jared's eyes on him as he waved at the waitress for another round. "Chris just thinks everyone is dyin' to be a star. I'm not really much of a public performer."
"So you know him well?"
"Best friends since high school."
Jared nodded and turned his attention back to the stage as the band started up the next set. He leaned closer so that his shoulder pressed lightly against Jensen's, making him feel hot, every nerve on high alert. His focus was torn between his friend and his date. He finally settled on facing the stage and watching Jared through the corner of his eye.
The second set was over before Jensen knew it. He couldn't remember which songs were played. He could only remember the feel of Jared pressed up against him, his breath hot on his neck as he hollered into his ear to be heard over the music. Jensen looked at the table, covered with several empty beer bottles. "Guess it's a good thing we walked."
Jared snorted as he and Jensen both stood up. "Speak for yourself. I can hold my liquor."
"I should hope so, Sasquatch," Jensen laughed. He couldn't resist patting Jared's stomach as Jared stretched his long arms high above his head. Something flashed in Jared's eyes and Jensen pulled his hand back.
"Jenny!"
Jensen rolled his eyes in Jared's direction and turned toward the interruption. "Don't call me Jenny, you fucker."
Chris tossed an arm around Jensen's shoulder and gave Jared an appraising look. "Well aren't you gonna introduce me to your friend, Jenny?"
Jensen dug his elbow into Chris's ribs. "Chris, Jared. Jared, Chris."
Chris reached for Jared's outstretched hand, a slow smile spreading across his face. "So you're Jared?"
Jared frowned, glancing from Chris to Jensen and back again. "Um, yeah?"
Jensen slammed his heel down on the toe of Chris's boot, hoping to shut him up before he could embarrass him. "Ignore him. Please. We all do."
"It's just that I've heard a lot about you," Chris tightened his grip on Jensen's shoulder, making him squirm. "A whole lot."
And that there was the whole problem. Chris knew too much.
Jared smiled, wide and easy, a mischievous look in his eye. Jensen inwardly groaned, figuring he was up to no good. Jared surprised him, though, with a simple shrug. "Nothing good, I hope."
Chris laughed. "Definitely not." He gestured at the bottles on the table. "Buy you boys another round?"
Jensen glanced at Jared, hoping to get a read what he was thinking. But Jared's face was carefully blank, obviously giving Jensen the choice. Jensen pulled away from Chris and patted him on the shoulder. "Sorry man but we have to get out of here for now. Raincheck?"
Jensen felt a bit guilty for bailing on his friend right after a show. But he was with Jared and if he was being honest with himself, he didn't want to share. It had been a long time since he'd felt this way about someone. The fact that he was feeling it about a guy barely even registered.
Chris stared at Jared for a moment, carefully sizing up the other man. "Sure."
Jensen smiled. "Great. So the Spanish Inquisition can wait."
"What Spanish Inquisition?" Chris attempted to look shocked at the implication.
"See you later, Chris," Jensen grabbed Jared's arm and pulled him towards the door.
As soon as they made it outside, Jared pressed his heels into the ground and swung Jensen around, pressing his back into the wall. "So you talk about me?"
Jensen could feel his face heat up. "Well, your name obviously came up once or twice. We have talked a-"
Jensen trailed off as Jared leaned in closer. Jensen could feel the solid brick of the building against his back. Jared ducked his head lower, his breath ghosting across Jensen's cheek. "If you don't want this, just tell me to stop. But I've-"
Jensen had only a moment to panic before Jared's lips were pressed against his. His mind raced, reality breaking through the haze in a series of still frames. Jared's eyes, dark and heated. His lips, soft and moist against his. Jensen's heart, thumping so hard he was certain Jared could feel it. Jensen closed his eyes and lost himself in the moment. He shifted his weight, trying to figure out what to do with his hands. He finally settled them at Jared's waist, the material of Jared's shirt bunching beneath his fingers.
Jared pulled back and Jensen opened his eyes. Jared was watching him, waiting for a response.
Jensen wasn't sure exactly how he was supposed to react so he just did what felt right. He smiled.
Jensen could see the relief wash over Jared's face. "Now that we've got that out of the way, where to now?"
"I hadn't really planned on anything else," Jensen admitted. "Wasn't sure if I'd be willing to put up with you all night."
"Well I don't know about you, but I could go for something to eat."
Jensen tried not to laugh. He wasn't really hungry but he knew he didn't want the night to end either. He let his eyes roam leisurely from Jared's head to his feet and back again. "Where exactly do you put it all?"
Jared simply ignored the question. "Whataburger work for you?"
"Sure," Jensen replied. "We can take it back to my place if you want. Watch a movie or something."
"As long as you have something where lots of things get blown up." Jared smiled and Jensen found himself once again distracted by his dimples.
Whataburger was just around the corner but Jensen couldn't help but wish the walk were longer. He found himself drifting closer to Jared, happy to just let their arms brush against each other as they moved.
The fast food joint contained the odd assortment of people you could usually find late at night. There were a few groups of college students, some coming from the bars while others simply escaped campus for awhile. There was a trucker or two and a group of girls who looked like they couldn't have been more than sixteen. Jensen thought about his own little sister and hoped she had more sense than to break curfew to hang around a college campus.
They got their order to go and headed back into the cool night air. Jared waved at a couple of guys as they passed but then he gave Jensen his full attention once again.
Jensen felt a little out of sorts as they made their way back to his apartment. He'd done the whole first date thing many times before, but Jared was unlike anyone he'd ever dated. The biggest difference, obviously, was that he was a guy. And that right there was a major revelation. Jensen had never been interested in guys before. He never had reason to consider that he just might swing that way. But then Jared came along and all of his previous notions about himself had flown out the window. At least he was in the right place. College and experimentation sort of went hand in hand.
Jensen could see the front of his building a few blocks away. He shoved his hands deep into his pockets and stared at his door as they drew closer. He felt jumpy, his stomach full of butterflies. Jensen was vaguely aware of Jared saying something but he broke in, his need to confess taking precedence. "I've never kissed a guy before."
Jared quieted and slanted his eyes over at Jensen but kept walking. After a few moments, he spoke. "I had a feeling."
"Really?" Jensen stopped walking and stared at Jared's back.
Jared came to a stop and turned around to face him. He shifted his weight from one point to the other and back again, staring at the ground just in front of Jensen's feet. "Yeah, I figured as much. You talk around past relationships, you avoid the gay issue, and honestly, you've been a bit twitchy all night."
Jensen's mouth dropped open. He knew Jared was observant, he just hadn't realized how observant. "So why'd you do it?"
Jared shrugged and finally looked up. "Just felt right."
Jensen nodded and started walking again. "I'm glad you did."
He snuck a glance over at Jared, happy to see a small smile on his face. "Me too."
"So what do you say we go watch stuff get blown up?"
Jared exhaled and laughed. "Sounds awesome."
By the time they made it through the front door, Jensen was feeling on top of the world. He still had butterflies in his stomach, a sure sign that this was the start of something good. Jared was constantly brushing up against him, a solid reminder of endless possibilities.
Jared flopped down on the couch and began to pull the various items from the bag, setting them out on the coffee table. Jensen knelt down in front of the TV, scanning the rows of DVDs on the shelf.
"There's Die Hard, Kill Bill, Gone in Sixty-"
"Go with Die Hard. It's a classic for a reason." Jared took a bite of his burger.
Jensen popped the disc into the player and turned around. He bit his lip, struck by a sudden awkwardness as he tried to figure out where to sit.
Jared raised an eyebrow. "Dude, I don't bite."
Jensen shook off the momentary uncertainty and dropped down next to Jared. He grabbed up his biscuit sandwich and turned his attention to the movie, tearing at the wrapper.
"This is nice," Jared shifted to turn more towards Jensen. He popped the last bite of his burger into his mouth and wadded up the wrapper, tossing it into the bag on the coffee table.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah," Jared settled deeper into the cushions, his long legs stretched out in front of him. "I don't get to relax too often, especially lately."
"That's just sad. You're still a kid."
"Still a kid?"
Jensen's ears heated up. "I mean-"
Jared chuckled, low and dirty, and let his head roll in Jensen's direction. Jensen swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry. Jared leaned closer and pressed their mouths together. He traced Jensen's lower lip with the tip of his tongue, causing Jensen to gasp. Jared took that as an invitation, slowly licking his way into Jensen's mouth.
Jensen closed his eyes and reveled in the wet warmth of Jared's mouth on his. Jared tasted like cheese and ketchup and something else, something definitely more him. Jared brought one hand up to Jensen's face, cupping it and angling it so that he could deepen the kiss, causing Jensen to groan. He had to admit that Jared knew how to kiss.
When oxygen became an issue, Jared pulled back. "Still think I'm a kid?"
Jensen hummed, his mind still reeling.
Jared sat back and grabbed some fries. "I'll take that as a no," he said, popping them into his mouth.
Jensen wanted to wipe the smug look right off of Jared's face. Then again, Jared had reason to be pleased with himself. Jensen burrowed deeper into the couch cushion and focused on the TV in front of them.
Something kept nagging him, though, and Jensen found it hard to focus. "Jared?"
"Hmmm?"
"Why'd you laugh when you saw me?"
Jensen turned to look at Jared, saw the moment the question infiltrated the haze of his mind. Jared smiled. "I just realized that you were the guy I'd been looking for."
"You were looking for me? When?" Jensen couldn't believe Jared had been trying to find him.
"After the Kane concert last weekend. Thought you were hot but couldn't find you after that. Until tonight." Jared's voice was thick, words slurring together slightly.
Things started making sense. Jensen felt heat pool in his stomach at Jared's words. It was nice to know he wasn't alone with his small infatuation.
Halfway through the movie, Jared shifted, his head falling down to rest on Jensen's shoulder. Jensen was just about to tease Jared for his girly move when he noticed the deep, slow breaths Jared was taking. He glanced down, unsurprised to find Jared sound asleep. He couldn't help but smile and the peaceful look on Jared's face.
By the time the final credits rolled, Jensen's arm was asleep, sharp pins and needles from his shoulder to his fingertips. Just keeping his eyes open was a struggle. Jensen gently pulled away from Jared, lowering him slowly until he was lying flat out on the couch. Jared huffed a sigh and curled into the back cushion. Jensen knew he should probably wake him. The couch wasn't long enough for him, let alone a giant like Jared. He should wake him. But Jensen just couldn't bring himself to disturb him. If Jared woke up stiff and grouchy, he'd deal with it in the morning.
Jensen debated just leaving Jared as he was but decided to make him a bit more comfortable. He pulled Jared's shoes off, letting them fall to the floor with a soft thump. Then he grabbed an extra blanket from the closet, carefully draping it over the prone body on the couch. He allowed himself a moment to look at Jared, cataloging the little details he'd never noticed before. There was a tiny mole on the underside of his jaw and a long thin scar on the back of one hand. Little things, really, but each one probably had a story behind it and Jensen wanted to learn them all.
Jensen exhaled, exhaustion taking over. He made his way down the hall to his bedroom, turning off the light as he passed. Jensen went through the motions of his nightly routine, mind already half-asleep and focused on the man in the other room. He finally flopped down on the bed and tugged the sheet over him. Sleep pulled at his mind and Jensen drifted off, thoughts of big, strong hands and a warm mouth easing the way into a dreamless sleep.
xxxxxx
Jared woke slowly, opening his eyes just a crack as he looked at his surroundings. It took a moment before it registered where he was. A sleepy smile graced his lips as he remembered the night before, his date with Jensen.
His mystery man had a name and life was pretty damn perfect at the moment.
A loud clatter came from the kitchen and Jared decided that he was awake enough to investigate. He rolled off the couch, groaning as he stretched, his muscles cramped from sleeping on the couch all night.
He stumbled over to the entryway and leaned against the wall. Jensen had his back to him, humming under his breath as he worked at the stove. He was casually dressed in a navy blue shirt and jeans, his hair still damp from his shower.
Jared was just reaching up to feel how disastrous his case of bedhead was when Jensen turned around. "Oh shit," he said, clutching at his chest.
Jared smirked. "Mornin'." He yawned and wiped the back of his hand across his eyes. "Whatcha makin?"
Jensen took a deep breath. "Toasted cheese. We seem to be out of pretty much everything around here."
Jared frowned. "Toasted cheese at..." He glanced at the clock on the wall. "12:30...yeah, that makes sense."
"Did you sleep ok?" Jensen walked over to him and reached up to run a hand through Jared's hair, making it stick up even more. "I thought about waking you up, but you looked like you needed it."
Jared shrugged. "I can pretty much sleep anywhere," he admitted. "Sorry for passing out on you last night."
"Don't sweat it." Jensen moved back to the stove and grabbed a spatula, flipping over the sandwiches before moving the fridge. "Want something to drink? We have beer, beer, beer, and milk."
Jared laughed. "Let's go for the milk."
Jensen pulled the carton out and sniffed it, shrugging his shoulders and grabbed two glasses from the cabinet. He motioned for Jared to take a seat at the bar as he filled the glasses.
Jared watched as Jensen moved around the kitchen easily, setting the glasses in front of him and pulling out paper plates for the sandwiches. When the food was done, the two of them settled into a comfortable silence, happy just to enjoy their food and each other.
When Jared finished his meal, he pushed the plate away. "That was perfect."
Jensen snorted. "Yeah, I'm a real gourmet cook."
Jared laughed. "Trust me, it was great in my book. I've been living off of ramen and school food for way too long."
"Glad to know my food ranks higher than school food."
"Well, you know that doesn't say much." Jared smirked at Jensen, laughing as Jensen punched his shoulder.
Jared grabbed their now-empty plates and tossed them in the garbage. Jensen watched him from his perch on the stool. When Jared was done, he moved to stand between Jensen's knees, leaning in and placing a gentle kiss on his lips.
"Man, I wish I had a toothbrush right about now."
Jensen chuckled and wrapped his arms around Jared's waist, pulling him closer. "I don't mind," he said as their mouths pressed and slid against each other.
Jared relaxed in Jensen's loose embrace, content with their slow, lazy kisses. This is exactly how he figured a good morning should be. Nice and easy. Comfortable. But as much as he wanted to stay, there were things he had to do.
"I should probably go." Jared reluctantly pulled back, away from the warmth of Jensen's body. "I need to shower and there's this paper that I really do need to finish."
Jared didn't want to leave but he did want to see Jensen again.
"Yeah," Jensen agreed, his eyes following Jared's every move as he moved into the living room and tugged on his shoes. "So I guess then-"
"Pick me up at 7?"
Jensen smiled, wide and bright. "Yeah, I think that can be arranged."
xxxxxx
"Did you always want to work in radio?"
Jensen glanced over at Jared, who was sprawled across the ground. The two of them were relaxing in the quad, enjoying the mid-afternoon sun.
"Pretty much, yeah." Jared's voice was thick and heavy, his eyes closed against the bright light. "Well, there was a time when I was six and I wanted to be the Boogeyman."
Jensen snorted. "The Boogeyman."
Jared grinned. "Yeah. My sister was terrified of the Boogeyman so I thought that would be the greatest job ever."
"What made you decide to go into radio, then, if you had this illustrious career all planned out?" Jensen picked at the grass and glanced over at Jared.
"Boogeyman position was already taken. Snagged right out from under me. So I had to find something." Jared laughed and rolled onto his side, facing Jensen. "I don't know, man. I've just always had this thing for music. There's so much of it out there and every song has a story. I'm just-"
"Passionate about it?"
Jared stared at him for a moment. "Yeah. That's it. I'm just passionate about it. I can't imagine doing anything else."
Jensen nodded and laid back. He felt warm and sluggish from the sun. He closed his eyes and imagined his arms and legs melting into the ground beneath him.
"What about you?"
"Huh?" Jensen forced his mind to focus on Jared.
"Did you always want to be a teacher?"
"Actually, no." Jensen thought about his past, his high school aspirations. "I wanted to be a sports physician."
"Really? That's kinda cool." Jared reached a hand out and traced Jensen's arm with his finger, outlining Jensen's right side. "What happened?"
"Don't know." Jensen frowned. He couldn't remember actually changing his mind. "Got older, I guess. Dreams change."
Jared was quiet for a minute. "Jen, you're going to make a good teacher."
Jensen smirked. "How do you know that?"
Jared shrugged. "I don't know. I just do."
And really, Jensen couldn't say anything else to that. So he didn't. He just let the sun wash over him as they fell into a comfortable silence.
After nearly two weeks together, Jared had such a strong belief in him and in them. He saw no reason to doubt things.
Jensen closed his eyes and sighed, draping one arm over his eyes. He just wished he had a fraction of Jared's confidence. He was happier than he'd been in a long time, but it scared him. He was afraid to put labels on what he was feeling. Labeling it would just make it real. And once it was real, it had the potential to fall apart.
As long as things weren't labeled, he'd be fine.
xxxxxx
"So, you going to be home tonight?"
"Why wouldn't I be? I'll probably just be late." Jared tucked the phone into the crook of his neck while he adjusted the next set. Chad had been unusually talkative that night and though Jared loved the guy, he was a bit distracted at the moment to maintain a normal conversation.
"I take it you haven't slept with him yet?" Jared could imagine Chad's wide-eyed exasperation. "Lame."
"Not all of us put out on the first date like you." Jared rolled his eyes and tried to keep the irritation out of his voice.
"Ooh, touchy. So I take it that he's the chick in this relationship?"
"And that there is why you're alone and miserable."
"Alone, maybe. But who says I'm miserable?"
Chad snorted and Jared took a deep breath, deciding to change gears before he seriously began contemplating murder. "Look man, I've gotta go. I have a few things to do before I'm off."
"Whatever," Chad huffed. "Just do me a favor and fuck him already. If I hear moaning coming from your bed when you're all alone one more time-"
"Bye Chad." Jared hung up the phone, effectively cutting that conversation short.
Things were actually going really well with Jensen and the last thing Jared wanted to do was scare him away by trying to go too fast. It was a bit scary how into the guy he really was. But Jensen was still adjusting to dating a guy. Jared's minor campus celebrity wasn't helping matters. The buzz about the bachelor poll had finally died down but now they were dealing with the student body's fascination with their relationship. It seemed like all eyes were on them when they went out. So more often than not, they simply stayed in.
Jared adjusted the boom mike and waited for his cue. The final commercial break of the hour was almost over and that meant his shift was nearly finished. The commercial came to an end and Jared punched the button to turn on his mike.
"Well guys, I'm almost out of here. We've survived another Monday but finals are just around the corner. I don't know about you, but that's something I'd rather not think about right now. So I'm going to play another track for this week's theme, 'Pen to Mouth,' instead. Here's singer-songwriter Dave Barnes with 'Grace's Amazing Hands.'"
Once the song started up, Jared let his head fall to the desk. He briefly toyed with the idea of pulling out his Chemistry book and getting a little studying in, despite what he just said on the air, but he just couldn't do it. Every spare moment he had during the upcoming weeks would be spent studying. He just wanted to enjoy what little time he had left to relax.
A light tap at the window caught Jared's attention. He couldn't stop the slow grin from spreading across his face when he saw Jensen just outside the door. He double-checked the settings on the computer and waved him in.
Jensen opened the door a crack and stuck his head inside. "Hey."
"Hey yourself." Jared couldn't stop smiling. "I didn't think you'd be here until after 9."
Jensen shrugged, pushing his way into the tiny room and shutting the door quietly behind him. "Tutoring finished up early so I thought I'd come keep you company."
Jared noticed the faint flush across Jensen's cheeks, the freckles dusting his cheekbones standing out in stark contrast. It was kind of cute how Jensen still seemed a little flustered around him even after a couple of weeks together.
"I'm glad you did," Jared admitted, settling back in his chair. "I was actually thinking about studying."
"The horror. Good thing I came early, then." Jensen slid down to sit on the floor, his back against the desk. He dragged Jared's backpack over and unzipped it, digging through the contents inside.
"What're you lookin' for?"
Jensen frowned. "You don't have anything to eat in here." Jensen sounded surprised. "I figured you, of all people, would at least have a candy bar or something."
"Hungry?"
"Starving."
Jared laughed. "We'll get something on our way to your place, then. Mike should be here in about ten minutes."
Jensen groaned. "I should've just eaten before that last session. But Carrie was early so we just got started so I could finish early and-"
"Just couldn't wait to see me, could you?"
The tips of Jensen's ears turned a dark red. "So, singer-songwriters, huh?"
Jared decided to let Jensen get away with the subject change for now. He had plenty of time to tease him about it later.
Jensen pressed up against the desk, reaching up to grasp the wood next to his head.
Jared rolled his chair closer to Jensen. "Yeah. I was just thinking about the music you played last night and figured it was a good theme," he said as he gently pried Jensen's fingers away from the wood, one by one.
Jensen slammed his hand down on top of Jared's the best he could with a backwards grip. "It's a good theme."
Jared grinned and flipped his hand over, flexing his fingers against Jensen's. "So how did tutoring go?"
Jensen sighed. "Not too bad, I guess. I don't know. It's just frustrating sometimes."
Jared noticed that Jensen didn't pull his hand away, just pressed the tips of his fingers into Jared's palm. "How so?"
Jared felt a gentle pressure at his hand as Jensen shrugged. "Some of these kids, man. Take Carrie, for example. She is actually pretty smart and picks up the material quick enough but I have a feeling she's going to fail my class."
Jensen's frustration was clear. "Too much partying and too little time actually studying. It's like she's determined to-"
Jensen was interrupted by a heavy thump at the door. He pulled his hand away from Jared's like he was scalded and Jared instantly missed the warmth against his fingers. He glared at the door where Mike was still pressed against the window, seeming content to mouth obscene things at them through the glass.
Mike pushed the door open and made his grand entrance, sashaying into the small room with a wide smirk. He was dressed in black from head to toe. His shirt had the sleeves ripped off and safety pins randomly pinned to the material across his chest. His jeans were torn in a way that could only be done on purpose. The entire outfit was topped off with a pair of aviator sunglasses and a wild 80's hair band wig that fell past his shoulders.
Jared snorted back a laugh. "What the hell, man? Halloween was months ago. Why do you look like a reject from the 80's?"
Mike tilted his head down to stare at Jared over the top of his glasses. "I'm creating atmosphere."
Jared heard Jensen attempt to muffle his laughter behind a closed fist, muttering something about changing the locks when he got home to save him from the crazy. Jared grinned up at his friend. "Atmosphere?"
"Yeah, you know, create the mood." Mike smirked. "You know, a lot like you were doing while holding hands with your boyfriend."
"There was no mood! My boy-"
Jared stopped before he said too much. Jensen twisted around to stare at him, his mouth gaping. "Boyfriend?"
Jared bit his lip, panic building in his chest. Shit. Shitshitshit. "I mean, we're not-"
"Oh, don't try to deny it," Mike waved off Jared's pathetic attempt at denial. He shot Jensen a pointed look. "Don't forget that I live with you, man."
Jensen stared at his roommate, eyes wide. "Dude, we're not. I mean, he and I aren't-"
Jared frowned as Jensen ran a hand through his hair in frustration. He wasn't exactly ready to define his relationship with Jensen himself but Jensen seemed freaked out at the mere idea of labeling it at all. Jared shrugged it off. Things were still new and there would be plenty of time to define things later.
Mike appeared to be watching Jensen with a hint of interest but thanks to his glasses, Jared couldn't be sure.
"You do realize it's dark outside, right?"
Mike smiled. "What can I say, baby? I wear my sunglasses at night."
Jared groaned as he reached for the microphone, watching Jensen out of the corner of his eyes. Jensen seemed to have relaxed some, rolling his eyes at his roommate, a small smile on his lips. Jared wanted to lean over and kiss those doubts away but he held himself back. He didn't think that would go over too well.
Mike clapped his hands. "Wrap it up, JT! I have some lust connections to make!"
Jared glanced at the computer and noticed that the final song was winding down. He mentally kicked himself for becoming distracted and nearly missing his cue. This was his job and he should be paying attention. He tugged the headphones down over his hair and closed his eyes, listening to the last strains of the acoustic set.
"That's it for me tonight, guys. Thanks for tuning in to the Mix and I'll see you tomorrow. Time to pay the bills but when we come back, Mad Mike is here for another stimulating episode of 'The Lust Connection.' Until tomorrow, this is Jared and I'm out of here."
Jared pressed the button, turning off his microphone, and removed his headphones. He took a moment to let the satisfaction of another successful shift's passing wash over him before turning to the others in the room. Jensen was watching him with a look Jared couldn't quite define, a slight tilt to his lips, eyes soft.
Jared felt the familiar flutter in his stomach. "Ready to get out of here?"
Jensen nodded. "Let's leave the crazy behind and get something to eat."
"Hey," Mike growled. "I'm offended."
"Whatever. You wouldn't be offended if I called you a two-stepping gorilla with a fetish for raspberry jelly."
Mike tilted his head in Jensen's direction, apparently thinking that over. "You're right," he agreed. "I really wouldn't."
Jared shook his head and swooped down to grab his backpack, zipping it up and pulling the strap over his shoulder. "After you." He gestured toward the exit.
Jensen grabbed the handle and pulled the door open, stepping into the hallway, Jared right on his heels.
"And don't forget, everyone wang chung tonight!"
Jared just rolled his eyes and flipped him off as he and Jensen closed the door, Mike's evil cackle bouncing off the floor tiles. He could see the awkward set of Jensen's shoulders as they headed out into the night.
Jared sighed. Fucking Mike.
Part Four