i feel like i'm gradually losing myself.
to work. friends. ex's. addictions. other's wants. school.
everything is requiring all of me, internally and physically.
and it's taking it's toll.
i bend,
i break.
i internalize everything, but everything doesn't always just sink in..it rises, it becomes exposed.
and exposure is what i fear the most.
exposure of my ( Read more... )

yes, he helps me sleep through the night.
yes, he makes me feel like a better person when i wake up.
if i keep using him as my Tylenol PM, i might get addicted to him.
and no twelve-step program has a cure for that.

people keep coming in and out of my life recently ( Read more... )

i need to stop pretending that you're him.
because, you're not.
when i kiss you, i want to vomit.
when i kiss him, i don't ever want to leave.
but he has no idea about how i feel.
nor will he ever..
because he doesn't give two shits.
and neither should i.

..yet, i do.

hey.... is this how it is going to be? i call you, you dont answer? i text you, you dont respond? is this serioiusly how you want it? alright...... fuck it, i cant do this anymore. i cant not have you as my girlfriend so i guess.... have fun with the rest of your life... hope everything goes good for you... good luck with college and all that ( Read more... )

i held up that white flag.i hope the realization of my seriousness, hits you like a fish out of water ( Read more... )

i'm over you.
i'm over you.
i'm over you.
i'm over you.
i'm over you.
i'm over. without you.

we sat and drank coffee at my kitchen table, at 11:30pm ( Read more... )

i'm falling back into old routines ( Read more... )

weigh in today.. 110lbs.
fuck. 24lbs. to go.
but my fasting is going fabulous.
and i have shedded a few pounds.

but..nothings ever good enough.
i'm never satisfied.