we will make it beautiful.
i feel like i'm gradually losing myself.
to work. friends. ex's. addictions. other's wants. school.
everything is requiring all of me, internally and physically.
and it's taking it's toll.
i bend,
i break.
i internalize everything, but everything doesn't always just sink in..it rises, it becomes exposed.
and exposure is what i fear the most.
exposure of my feelings, thoughts, fears, even my own body.
how can one feel that they are being held captive at every waking minuate.
what is becoming of me..better yet,
who the hell am i anymore.
am i that slut they label?
am i that insecure and unstable reflection?
am i that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach?
am i that girl that who lives through the surreal images on magazine covers and in tevelvision screens?
who the fuck am i.
but honestly..now that i just reread all of this..fuck it. i don't even want to know, it'd probably just make me sick to my stomach anyways.