So I haven't received an email alert via okcupid in about a week. I assumed my profile was something akin to Superman's kryptonite and went on about my internet business. Well tonight, boredom set in and I decided to mosey on over to that corner of the e-world, perhaps to browse people's profiles and, you know, laugh at them and give them low ( Read more... )

If there's one good thing about working in mall city, it's meeting rappers. Lil' Boosie came into the store today. Naturally, I am taller than him. I made sure to sing this song as I was cleaning counters near him:

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My co-worker Lindsay didn't even know who he was. I told her she needed to represent her hometown and brush up on her knowledge of ( Read more... )

 
Getting into my pants can be compared to solving a rubix cube. After posting the last blog, I decided to rectify said situation by posting a profile over at okcupid. I thought it over and you know, maybe I am what some would call, too picky. I must say, the selection of men at okcupid is much better than those nerds over at match.com, and a ( Read more... )

My favorites, listed by catagory:

The Worst:

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Most retarded:

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The Best:

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What are yours?

If you don't know because you've been in a coma for the last decade of your life, I'm a fragrance rep for Coty over at Dillards in Cortana Mall. The other day I come into work and a co-worker asked if I'd heard the news. Apparently two women that work upstairs got in an altercation over a sale and drama ensued ( Read more... )

So I went to the titty bar with Derek, Dennis and Angelle this weekend. There's a stripper there that looks exactly like CC Deville. This was even more fucked up than the dancer with tits that were, honest to god, two different cup sizes.


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"You know how sometimes people on your friends list post about stuff going on in their lives, and all of a sudden you think, "Wait a minute? Since when are they working THERE? Since when are they dating HIM/HER? since when???" And then you wonder how you could have missed all that seemingly pretty standard information, but somehow you feel too ( Read more... )

...this mall is amazing, but you really don't understand. THIS. MALL. IS. AMAZINGSo. Apparently Father's Day at Cortana Mall is a big deal. It's such a big deal that it's cause for celebration of ginormous proportions. Dillards decided that in honor of fathers the world over, the entire store should be decorated in a casino theme. There were cards ( Read more... )

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I'm bored. Someone should jack off on cam so I can laugh at them.

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