Everyday I say I will change one little thing, but that one little thing never seems to get done and it gets carried over to the next day. Now my list is really long and I don't even know where to start and what is really important anymore ( Read more... )

I wish I had a attorney to talk to about this fucking bitch! I pay my rent on time every month for 20+ years and she does things to harass me. I submitted my receipt for my blinds and she still hasn't paid me. Sure it's only $130 but why should I float her? She is rich and I'm not. She is the tenant!

I'm losing all sense of reality. I'm sinking. I'm tired of being every man's second choice. I'm embarrassed to say it, but yes I'm the one they come to for sex and a place to sleep, but not the one to take out. I hate myself, but I need even a few hours of being touched. I want to be loved so badly I'll take being table scraps. What is wrong ( Read more... )

Im tired, so tired ( Read more... )

I'm having a difficult time with stopping the tears. I want to leave tomorrow, but I can't find a deal on Vegas. I want a cheap room and then I can call Bob to take care of my cats. My stomach hurts like hell and I hate myself. Marie text me to see how I am, and when i said I wasn't well she asked why. How can she ask such a dumb fucking ( Read more... )

This is my second day that I have not left the house. I can not bear the pain any longer. This time I will not tell my two good friends my intentions. I will pack my bags and my pills and leave. I can't die in my own home from Bob to find me, that would be a horrible thing to do ( Read more... )

I took a whole bunch of sleep medicine last night just to sleep. I can't continue on this path. I stare at the ceiling wondering why I am alone in this world. I also called my shrink to tell him how I'm feeling and he wants me to be admitted to the hospital. FUCK NO! No hospital can help someone in 3 days or even 14 days when you suffer from a ( Read more... )

My heart is heavy. As I spoke with my brother about what happened at Jerry's I knew he could hear the sadness in my voice. He told me that if I get sad he would send me a plane ticket any time I needed one. How could I tell him that I would never need one again? It pains me to do this to him of all people. How could I do this to him, especial ( Read more... )

how am I going to live in this world? My brain is on overload and I can't take it. I feel I've made peace with Jerry now I just need to make it with Bob. But that is much harder than it seems. I just want to swallow all these pills and say goodbye. It will be unfair to my brother and sister, but why should that matter when it's unfair to me? I ( Read more... )

I'm so nervous about going to jerrys. What will I say, what will I do? I also am angry and sad about Jose. What did I do to make him hate me? I know I can't call him, but I want to. I think he owes me that much! Why is he such a fucking coward? Yeah, so I did the *67 thing and maybe he caught on it was me, but I will have to own it. Maybe I ( Read more... )