Velcro (Thirteen/Thirteen)
Title: Velcro (Or, A Million and One Different Ways to Start Piecing Together Broken Hearts (Part Thirteen/Thirteen)
Sequel to Dependable. Reliable.
Author: Pulpobsessed.
Pairing: Multiple Pairings
Characters: This chapter: Dave Karofsky, Kurt Hummel, Azimio Adams, Mercedes Jones, Chris Michaels (OC), and others.
Rating: R (for language)
Summary: The impacts of what happened at the reunion start to take shape in Dave's life - eventually forcing Dave to make a life changing decision. This is a story of heart breaks, finding yourself, finding the one you're meant to be with, and of salvation - for more than just one character.
Genre: FutureFic
Disclaimer: Glee belongs to Ryan Murphy. Not me. But this Dave...he's all mine.
A/N. Final Chapter - A bit of a departure for me…seeing as how it is not in Dave's voice. Rather, Dave is completely absent. Instead, I give you Kurt and Chris. Also, for a preview of the third and final installment in the D&R universe, there is a link at the bottom of the story. I want to say thank you to every single person who ever read, reviewed, emailed me, tweeted me, or even just gave my story some thought…you are all simply amazing. Your devotion to my work is what makes me want to actually write! I cannot thank you enough! So…here it is…the end of Velcro - and why I named it Velcro. Oh, and yes, you do find out who Dave chose at the end of chapter 12.
You can Find all 12 chapters of D&R HERE
Previous Installments of Velcro: 1 | 2 | 3.1 | 3.2 | 4.1 | 4.2 | 5.1 | 5.2 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12
Part 13 - A Final Interlude: What Kurt Did.
*Columbus Ohio, The Westin Hotel.*
As the door to Dave’s room slammed shut behind him, Kurt practically ran down the hallway towards the elevators. After witnessing how broken Dave was, Kurt knew he had to do something. And the moment Dave’s hand had touched his leg, the currents of electricity that had exploded through him, Kurt had sprung into action.
Kurt knew he couldn’t win. He knew how much Dave loved Chris - he could see it. He could hear it. Hell, he could even feel it wafting off Dave like it was a scent. or something.
Kurt knew that seeing Chris and Dave together would probably kill him. But…it would be worth it. Please…just let it be worth it.
It wasn’t often that Kurt Hummel admitted that he had done something wrong…in fact, he could technically count the number of times on one hand…maybe two, if he pushed it. But with Dave…he could easily admit now, that he had royally fucked up.
Every single step he’d taken over the past year had been the wrong one…from sleeping with Dave, to not expressing his worries and concerns with Dave, to just cutting off all communication with him…and then there was his most shameful move.
Telling Dave that he’d used him…which was only really a partial truth. But Kurt had his own reasons for that. And then the big admission…his real feelings for Dave. Just by uttering those words, Kurt had sent both their lives into utter turmoil.
There were so many things he could’ve done. Like talking to Dave right away. Or not lying to him. Or maybe flying to DC so he could actually talk to Dave in person.
Mostly, he should have been open and honest about his feelings - especially when they started to change. What Kurt had done was nothing more than emotional manipulation. And Kurt was pretty familiar with the whole world of emotional manipulation…only, he was normally the one being manipulated. Especially by the men in his life.
Kurt had lost his grip on reality. He honestly had no idea what happened to his brain. Perhaps it was knowing what Dave had done for Finn. Knowing that despite everything he and Dave had gone through, Dave had stepped up to the plate as a true friend.
So, maybe it was just natural that Kurt started to see Dave in that way…
But, instead of acting like a normal human being and trying to work things out with Dave, Kurt took what was already a bad situation and made it even worse…made it into some kind of awful hell.
Kurt had absolutely wrecked Dave’s relationship…he couldn’t ignore the fact that he was the cause of Dave’s loneliness. This was all his fault. If Kurt hadn’t acted like a selfish child, Chris would be here right now and Dave could be happy…not sitting in his room feeling rejected and abandoned, eating a pound of Red Vines!
Kurt had to do something. Anything.
If he really loved Dave, he would do it. He would do this…
Yeah, that’s right, fucking world, Love. Capital ‘L’. Kurt Hummel was in Love with Dave Karofsky. And sure, he might have arrived at that particular conclusion about a year too late and in the worst way imaginable…but it was true. He loved Dave. But Kurt had to be realistic. Dave’s feelings for Kurt were not about to jump into the realm of the romantic. Kurt could barely hope for feelings of the plutonic kind. Dave had every reason to kick him out of his life.
And if Kurt really was going to be honest, he really deserved that to happen.
But for now, he was still a part of Dave’s life. And he had to prove that he belonged there. So, he’d be damned if he was going to continue to allow Dave to be this miserable.
No, the man who Kurt Hummel loved was not going to be this sad.
No way.
As Kurt slammed his hand on the elevator button for his floor, he decided exactly how he was going to do that.
He was going to get Chris to this wedding…
No matter what.
*************************************
Kurt raised his hand to knock on the door in front of him.
Was he really going to do this? Was he actually going to bug her about this? On this night, of all nights?
All because of his immense sense of guilt over what had happened between him and Dave.
Yes…yes, he was…because he had to do this.
Kurt knocked. And prayed that Mercedes Jones wouldn’t try to kill him.
The door flew open. Kurt couldn’t help himself from smirking when he saw who was standing in the doorway.
“You’re not supposed to be here!” Kurt chided.
A shirtless and very annoyed Azimio Adams stared back at him. Frowning. “If you start quoting bad luck shit at me, I’m gonna dump my glass of champagne on your head.”
“Don’t you fucking dare! That’s good wine, Az!” Mercedes yelled from inside the suite.
Kurt shook his head. “Yes, don’t waste it. But I’m glad you’re here…I need your help. Both of you.”
Mercedes appeared behind Azimio, tying the belt of a dressing gown around her, looking concerned. “What’s wrong, honey?”
“It’s Dave.”
“What’s wrong with Dave? Is he ok? Should I go down there?” Azimio started to move past Kurt.
Mercedes jumped forward, “Az! A shirt!”
Simultaneously, Kurt reached out and grabbed the man’s arm. “No! Please don’t. But I need your help in…in…I need you to help me to get Chris here by tomorrow.”
“Excuse me?” Azimio stopped, turning to stare, incredulously, at Kurt.
“Kurt? What are you doing?” Mercedes grabbed him and pulled him into the hotel suite. It was quite a large suite, much larger than Kurt’s. The room was mostly taken up by the massive king size bed, which was currently unmade and flanked by two night tables - one of which held a half empty champagne bottle. Directly across from the bed was a huge flat screen TV, currently tuned to some web-based R&B radio station. A large fast food bag was sitting on the chest of drawers directly below the TV. Kurt also noticed various items of discarded clothing littered on the floor - clearly Kurt had interrupted a something he probably shouldn’t have interrupted.
Crap.
Az pushed past Kurt, stooping to pick up a shirt, he pulled it on and continued to glare at Kurt.
“Kurt?” Mercedes asked, gently, as though the question could send Kurt into a panic attack. “You didn’t answer my question. What are you doing? What is this?”
“He’s so sad, Mercedes. He just looks so…lonely.”
“Yeah? And who’s to blame for that, huh?” Azimio snapped.
“Az, please. That’s not going to help.” Mercedes reached out and rubbed her finance’s arm.
“Well, someone needs to say it, ok? My man, Dave, is sitting down in his room feeling like the whole world is getting ready to shit on him…and if you had just kept you damn mouth shut…”
Az turned away, walking to the bed and flopping down on it.
“Yeah. I know that, ok?” Kurt snapped back. “And I’m so sorry…if I could take everything back, I would. Everything. Not just what happened last month, but everything that happened over the past year, I would. I would in a second.”
“Kurt…” Mercedes started, “We’ve been trying really hard to understand everything that happened, but some of it is just so…well…screwed up.”
“I know. I know.”
“We were both really excited after the reunion that you and Dave might have a shot, but when you let that go…we were expecting it to be the end of it. What happened? Why didn’t you just let go?”
“I don’t know Cedes…I just don’t know. I think…I think I went innsane or something. But I thought I wanted him…and then I didn’t. But then suddenly, it was like the thing I didn’t even realize I wanted was taken away from me and I went off the deep end trying to get it back. Everything I did, I’m so so ashamed of it.”
“So, what are you…”
“I have to make things right. I have to! I need to get Chris here.”
“Why?” Azimio asked from the bed.
“Because I need to make this right…because I…”
“No selfish intentions?” Az snapped again.
“NO!”
“Totally selfless? Just to make Dave happy?”
“What would I have to gain in getting Dave’s boyfriend to come here so they can live happily ever after?”
“You tell me.”
“Azimio, I swear, I’m not doing this to hurt Dave. I swear. I just want him to be happy.”
“You’ll excuse me if I don’t go out of my way to believe that.”
“Azimio, please. I need your help to do this.”
“Swear to me.”
“What?”
“Swear to me that all you want to do is help Dave. That you will never, EVER use this to try and get back together with him. That no matter what happens tomorrow, you’ll leave him be. You won’t utter the words, ‘I did this because I love you.’ Or anything like that…I need to know that this this ain’t another one of those rom-coms that seem to play on an endless loop in your head…this is Dave. And I won’t let you hurt him again. So swear to me…”
“I…I…”
“He’s right, Kurt. You can’t do this for any other reason than to help Dave.”
“So you want me to swear too?”
“Yes.”
Kurt looked between them. Mercedes was standing next to the bed, holding Azimio’s hand, while he lay back on the pillows. Both stared at him, expectantly.
Kurt sighed.
“I swear. I’m not doing this for any other reason than to help Dave. This is not just another way for me to manipulate myself into Dave’s life. I just want to help. Doing this might mean I could make up for some of what I did…I swear I have no selfish intentions here.”
Mercedes and Azimio looked at each other. Kurt hated it when they had one of their silent conversations, he could almost see the words fly between their foreheads. Then Azimio nodded.
“Ok, we’ll help you. But we can’t do this alone.” He crawled across the bed, grabbing his phone from the nightstand. “We need to call in the big guns. It’s fucking lucky I didn’t delete any of these numbers after my visit.”
“Who are we…” Kurt was confused.
“Who do you think?” Az looked up. “We’re calling his other best friend - Jessica.”
“This should be fun.” Mercedes sank down onto the bed.
Azimio seemed to have the phone number at the ready because it was already at his ear.
Kurt shifted between his feet. Nervously. Suddenly, this wasn’t such a good idea. He was pretty sure that this Jessica woman…probably hated him. And maybe hate wasn’t even strong enough a word.
“Hey! Jess? It’s Azimio.”
---
“No, Dave’s ok.”
---
“He’s pretty down in the dumps.”
---
“Yeah, even last night at the party. He just seems sad, you know? I tried all the things you suggested…but he’s really hurting.”
---
“Yeah. Look…um…we need your help.”
---
“Yeah…we want to get Chris here. By tomorrow.”
---
“No, it actually wasn’t my idea…not this time any way.”
---
“It was Kurt’s.”
----
“I don’t think that was very lady like.”
---
“Yeah…that sounds like a plan.”
---
“OK. Hold on.” Azimio held the phone out to Kurt. “She wants to talk to you.”
Kurt cautiously reached out and took the phone. He looked at Mercedes, hoping for some encouragement. She smiled, nodded, and took a sip of her champagne.
Kurt took a deep breath. “H-h-hello?”
“Do you know how much a case of napalm costs?”
“Um…no. And what does that have…”
“It’s fucking expensive. But I am totally willing to forgo my trip to Barbados this year so I could fire bomb your fucking house, you sad little twink.”
“Look, I know that I made some really stupid mis…”
“No! You don’t get to sit there and act all repentant. I’m fucking pissed at you. You hurt Dave…a lot! And sure, he’s all on this whole ‘I’m gonna forgive Kurt Hummel so we can be friends kick’…but I’m sure as shit not! So save your apologies. I don’t want to hear them. I want to help Dave. And I’ll do it, no matter what.”
“Ok.”
“So…here’s what’s gonna go down. I want Azimio and Mercedes to call Chris, then I’m going to call him. Then you’re going to call him…and you’re going to grovel. You’re going to plead. You’re gonna promise him your first born, left nut, and right kidney if you need to…but make it clear that you want him and Dave to be together.”
“Yeah, that I can do. Look, I know you don’t want to hear my excuses or whatever, but I swear to you I do just want Dave to be happy. I really really do. And I’ll do whatever I have to do make that happen. I fucked up. I’m sorry, I honestly am.”
“Yeah. I know you are. I’m not some heartless bitch, ok. I get it. You did what thought you had to. But you really fucked up and hurt my best friend in the process…and, honey, that usually means war. So, I’m giving you this chance…this one big chance. Fix this. Fix this now.”
“Ok. I’ll do everything I can. I can be pretty…determined…that way.”
“So I’ve gathered. Just do it, twinkie.”
“Can we get his number?”
“Az has it.”
“He does?”
“Duh! Why wouldn’t he? Ok, call me when they’ve talked to him.”
And just like that, she was gone. Kurt pulled the phone away from his ear. He stared at it for a second, then looked up at his two friends.
“She wants you to call him.”
“Yeah, she told me that. Don’t look so nervous, Kurt. You knew you’d have to talk to him, right?” Azimio was pouring himself another glass of champagne. He looked over at Mercedes, “Think we can order another bottle for an actual romantic night, alone.” She nodded.
Kurt choose to ignore the obvious annoyance in Az’s voice. “Yeah…I just have no idea what I’m going to say.”
“Hon…you’ll figure it out. You always do. If there’s one thing I know about Kurt Hummel, it’s that he’s never at a loss for words.” Mercedes said, reassuringly.
“Yeah, man, you’ll figure it out. Phone, please.” Az held his hand out.
Kurt handed the phone to Az, who quickly flipped through his contacts. Kurt closed his eyes as he heard Azimio begin speaking.
“Chris? Hi. This is Az. Can we talk for a second?”
***********************
*Washington, DC - Chris Michaels’ Apartment.*
Chris Michaels was lying on his sofa, with a thin green blanket lying tangled at his feet. On the floor next to the sofa lay an open copy of To Kill A Mockingbird, forgotten. The coffee table was a mess of take-out containers, bottles of beer, cans of Dr. Pepper, packages of candy, and one half empty bottle of vodka - the cheap kind, he didn’t deserve the good stuff.
On the TV was some some old sit-com rerun about about bunch of genius nerds who, despite having the ability to solve advanced scientific problems, kept fucking up their romantic lives.
At least Chris could identify with the romantic fuck up bit.
Chris was dressed in an old GWU t-shirt that Dave had left at Chris’ months ago and a ratty old pair of boxer shorts. His hair was disgustingly shaggy…he hadn’t actually gone for a haircut in over a month. And his beard was out of control…it had not seen the better side of a beard trimmer in almost two weeks. He was just damn lucky that his projects for the library let him work at home. And the Bureau had been leaving him alone lately.
All he wanted to do right now was lie in his bed and sleep…possibly forget that he even existed. Forget that his relationship practically resembled a nuclear wasteland. Forget that he barely wanted to get out of bed most days. Try and forget the sound of Dave’s voice, the touch of his hand, the feeling of his lips…try to forget everything about Dave. And especially forget his boyfriend’s pleas to go with him to Columbus…
Dave had hurt Chris. So now Chris was hurting Dave.
Chris sighed. Reached out and grabbed a lukewarm bottle of beer. Chugging down half of it.
Disgusting.
He entertained switching channels as he saw two characters declare their undying love for each other…he fucking hated love.
He was reaching out to grab his iPad - which doubled as a remote control - when his phone rang.
He didn’t recognize the number. Normally he would have just ignored the call, but for a second fantasized that it might be Dave and that maybe they could talk.
“Hello?” Chris grumbled into the phone.
“Chris? Hi. This is Az. Can we talk for a second?”
“Azimio? What…what’s wrong? Is Dave ok?” Chris almost jumped off the couch. His feet caught in the blanket, which resulted in him nearly diving face first into the coffee table. His left hand shot out just in time to catch himself on the arm of the sofa. He flopped back down onto the couch, sitting this time.
“Az, what’s wrong!”
“Nothing’s wrong…well, there’s nothing wrong me me and Cedes or the wedding…but well, shit is wrong with Dave.”
“Is he ok?”
“Mostly.”
Chris closed his eyes. He knew what was coming. He’d wondered when this call would come. “W-w-what’s going on?”
“Look, man, I gotta be totally honest with ya…ok?”
“Yes, yes. Of course.”
“We want you to come to Columbus. We want you to come to this wedding.”
“Azimio…” Chris’ head sank into his hands. He sighed loudly. “Fuck…”
“Look, dude, I get it. I really really do. Cedes and I have been down roads like this before, ok? I once did something stupid - the hooker incident…what? Hold on, Chris.”
Chris heard Mercedes’ voice in the background. Then: “No! I won’t…but it might help! You’re not allowed to be mad at me the night before out wedding. Ow!”
A second later Az was back on the phone, “Sorry man, had to receive instructions. I’m apparently forbidden from talking about the…OW! Fuck, stop slapping me! I won’t call it that… Anyway,” Az sighed deeply, “Look, I did some stupid stuff, I fucked up bad and Cedes pretty much wanted nothing to do with me…she even started dating some other guy. But I was miserable without her…so I sucked up my pride and begged her to take me back…and after a few months of begging, we got back together for the last time. And now we’re getting hitched. Look, Chris, Dave is fucking miserable. He misses you. He loves you. He made some real stupid mistakes - serious ones, but he’s sorry. And if you’re worried about the whole Kurt thing, I have it on good authority that it’s totally over. Completely.”
“It’s just not that simple, Az. I just don’t know if I can…”
“Do you love him?”
“Yes. God, yes.”
“Then get on a plane. Come here.”
“I…I need to think about it.”
“Yeah. I get that. But I promise you that come tomorrow, there will be a spot for you next to Dave at the head table. We want you here… Oh, hold on. Cedes wants to say something.”
“Ok.” Chris couldn’t help but smile. He could also feel the slight tinge of tears starting to gather in the corner of his eyes.
Mercedes voice filled his ear. “Hi, we haven’t met, but I think I would really like you. So, I want you to come to my wedding. Ok?”
“I need to think…”
“Yeah. I know. Men are stupid, but sometimes even when they’re being stupid, they’re worth holding onto. Remember that. Cause, Dave…he’s worth holding onto.”
“Thanks.”
“And look…to be honest…come tomorrow, you might end up regretting that you’re missing this. That you’re missing being here with Dave. You might end up regretting this for a very long time. So why do something you will end up regretting. Just…get on a plane, ok?”
“I..” Chris didn’t even know how to respond…truth was, everything they said made total sense. He should just go…but…but…
What was it that was holding him back?
“Ok, we’re gonna go now. You think. But don’t just think about what Dave did…think about Dave. And how much you love him. Do the right thing, here. Trust me.”
Chris mumbled a goodbye as he heard the call click off. He sat there, staring at the phone in his hand.
He let his head fall back against the couch so he was staring at the ceiling. Sheldon and Leonard were arguing over something on the TV. Chris sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.
He could actually picture what Dave was doing right at that moment - he was probably sitting alone in a hotel room, eating junk food. Red Vines and Reeses Peanut Butter cups. Chris hated Dave’s emotional eating and had tried many times to get him to stop…it had been, for a while, the only thing they fought about.
Until now.
Chris wasn’t really sure how long he had been sitting like that, but the sound of his phone ringing again startled him.
He glanced at the screen. Jessica.
He answered. He should have figured they were in this together.
“Hi Jess.”
“Ok, so there’s a flight to Columbus tomorrow morning at eight am. That’ll put you in the city by noon, at the latest. But we’re gonna have to go to the airport tonight, since the flight is sold out…we need to get you on standby. The wedding is at, what, three?”
“Jess…”
“Yup, I just checked the email Dave sent me complaining about his cummerbund, the wedding’s at three. So if the flight gets in at noon, that should give you enough time to get ready and have the big romantic reunion with Dave and all of that. I can be there in twenty minutes, is that enough time?”
“Jess…no. Please, don’t.”
“What? Don’t what?”
“Don’t do this…I just don’t know if I can do this. I mean, what am I supposed to do? Just walk into their wedding, grab Dave and try to get him to get me back?”
“I wasn’t even aware that you two broke up.”
“Really? I figure that after my big refusal to go to the wedding that it was a foregone conclusion that we were over.”
“Chris, Dave is hurting. Bad. Even if he thinks that you guys are over, I promise you that if you show up there tomorrow, he will take you back with open arms.”
“There’s still…”
“What? The Kurt thing? Fuck, Chris, you can’t possibly still be worried about that? Can you? Again, Dave is hurting. He’s miserable. You actually think that if he felt this bad over the two of you that he’d be hooking up with Kurt right now? No, I think that if he was going to jump into the twink’s bed, he’d have done it already…I think that should be pretty obvious, don’t you?”
“I…I just have a bad feeling. What happens if I get there and I end up getting hurt.”
“So, you’re gonna sit around in your underwear, wallowing in self pity watching hours of The Big Bang Theory?”
“What…how did you…”
“You forgot to mute it…Dave was right, you like your TV loud, huh?”
“Oh. Yeah.”
“So, are you really going to just sit there and feel sorry for yourself, when I’m giving you the chance to try…actually try and maybe succeed in getting Dave back.”
“I..I…”
“Chris…I’m not going to pretend that I’m not pissed at Dave either. What happened was fucked up, he should have been way smarter. He should have talked to Kurt - alone - a long time before all that shit went down. But he’s trying. He’s done all the things you asked him to. Therapy. Cutting off contact with Kurt. Not seeing you for a whole month. Everything, Chris. All he wanted was to have you at the wedding with him.”
“I need to think about all this, Jess. I just can’t say yes…”
“But you can…it’s easy. Yes. I will fly to Columbus. Yes I will go make a big romantic move to try and win my boyfriend back. Try it. Say yes. Don’t end up regretting this…trust me. I know all about romantic regret. I have enough to fill at least a couple dozen scrapbooks. Maybe you and I could take a class…or not, that is if you go.”
“I just don’t know…”
“Oh for the love of…Ok, look, I’m going to be sitting here all night - cause you know, why would I have a date on a Friday night - and when you’re ready…you call me. But I think you know what the right thing to do here is…just make sure you do it. Ok?”
And with that she was gone. Chris pulled the phone back from his ear. He stared at it. He did know what the right thing to do was. He knew exactly what he should be doing…he should be throwing clothes into a bag and running to the airport to get on the next available flight to Columbus. That’s what he should be doing.
They were all right - Jess, Az, Mercedes - he already was regretting his decision. He hated not being there. His stubborn nature and perpetual fear of getting hurt was costing him more than he was really willing to give up.
Instead of listening to them, what was he doing? He was picking up the bottle of lukewarm beer again and taking another chug. Instead of getting to Ohio as fast as he could, he was lying back down on the couch, pulling his knees up to his chest and wishing he could block the world out.
He stared at the TV until Sheldon started to get blurry. Chris realized he had started crying. He grabbed one of the many pillows he had lying around and pressed his face into it.
So, instead of getting on a plane, Chris Michaels sobbed into a pillow.
He might know what the right thing to do was, but he was too damn scared to do it.
***************************
*Columbus Ohio, The Westin Hotel.*
Kurt sat, hunched forward, on the chaise-lounge that someone had decided was a good idea for the hotel suite. He had been staring at Mercedes and Az while they were on the phone. He stopped breathing during most of the conversation. And for the time directly following, when he knew Jess was making her play.
He was quite sure that he hadn’t moved in over an hour.
Watching Azimio talk to Chris had been nerve wracking. The whole time, he’d been afraid to even breathe, worried that Chris would know he was in the room and would hang up.
Then, there was the awful anxious silence while waiting for Jess to call back. Waiting for some word that maybe he wouldn’t have to actually talk to the guy…that maybe he would be able to just say it was all his idea and that everyone helped him put it together.
But now, as he listened to Azimio talk to Jess, he knew that he’d have to make that call.
Kurt’s eyes flickered towards the door. He could get up right now and just walk out. Pretend this little moment of insanity had never happened. He could just go back to his room and open that other bottle of wine and drink himself into oblivion. And tomorrow he could just blame this whole idea on a case of temporary insanity.
Yeah…that’s what he’d do.
But suddenly he was being handed a phone. He looked down at it. Azimio’s phone was severely scratched up. What did he do with it? Use it as a replacement hockey puck?
“You ok, Kurt?” Mercedes’ voice broke through the mental screaming that was going on inside his head.
“Yes. No. I don’t know. What am I going to say?”
“Kurt, I’ve seen you do amazing things. I’ve seen you face down every bigoted and cruel person you ever encountered back in high school.”
“Including Dave!” Azimo offered.
“I’ve seen you face the idea that your dad might pass away with honest and sincere dignity. I’ve seen you fight to get your dignity back every time someone threw you down. Every ex-boyfriend that treated you like crap, I’ve watched you come back from. I’ve seen you at your worst. I’ve seen you go insane. I’ve watched you deal with a brother we all thought was lost…”
“This is different.”
“No. It’s not. You want to do something for someone you care about. You want to do something selfless and good…You have the power to make this happen, Kurt. So just dig deep and find that endless reserve of strength…and call him.”
Kurt gripped the phone. She was right. This was for Dave. This was his way of saying just how sorry he truly was. Kurt stood up. “Um, I’m going to make the call in the bathroom…privacy.”
He pressed call as he shut the bathroom door. It rang four times and then there was a tired, tear filled voice in his ear.
“Hello?”
“Please don’t hang up. It’s Kurt…just don’t hang up.”
Silence. Kurt lowered himself down onto the rim of the tub. Waiting. Just as he was certain that Chris had either thrown the phone down in disgust or had perhaps silently hung up… “Man, you people are more organized than the online gossip mill the last time Britney Spears had a face lift.”
“Yeah.” Kurt let a small laugh out. “I guess so.”
“I don’t really want to talk to you, you know that right?”
“I know.”
“What do you want?”
“I want to convince you to come to Columbus.”
“I think that between Az and Jess, everything’s been said.”
“Sure…but not by me.”
“Hm.”
“Look, how about you just listen…and when I’m done talking, if you want to hang up, you can.”
There was a sigh. A deep audible sigh. “Yeah.”
Kurt took a deep breath. Ok…here goes nothing.
“I fall in love easily. I think it’s one of my worst traits, really. I especially fall in love with what I can’t have. I’ve been doing that since I was a teenager. If there was a straight boy at my high school, I fell in love with them. In college, I did the same thing. Not always straight boys. But guys who either were not available, or thought they were too good for me. Or just guys who were generally out of my reach. It’s just who I am, I guess. And I did it again - I fell in love with Dave, and I’m sorry for that. I fell in love with your boyfriend. I admit that the timing of everything was wrong. Really really wrong. But I never thought about anyone but myself. I never thought about you and I never thought about Dave. I just figured, hey I’m in love with him so why wouldn’t he return those feelings…but my feelings were all wrong. They were for the wrong reasons. They were not healthy. They were…just not what I should have been feeling.”
Kurt closed his eyes. He had to do this. He had to do what was right. He had to…lie.
“But I swear to you, Chris. I am not in love with Dave anymore.”
“You’re lying.” The voice wasn’t angry or hurtful. It was resigned and sad.
“What?” Kurt’s eyes shot open.
“You’re lying. Ok, not about all the stuff in the beginning, but you are lying about not being in love with Dave anymore. But why are you lying?”
“I…I…” Ok, regroup. Gotta regroup. Kurt scrambled. So much for his Oscar award winning performance. Kurt sighed. “Ok, so I am lying. But I was only doing it because I want Dave to be happy. And he can’t be happy with me.”
“That sounds more honest.”
“I can’t do anything to make this better for him. He doesn’t want me - I think that’s pretty clear. If he did, I don’t think I would be calling you. He looks awful. He’s completely resigned to the fact that you two are not going to be together anymore. He’s completely resigned to being thing lonely guy. He’s trying to look happy, but you’d have to be a blind idiot not to see how miserable he is.”
“That’s what everyone is telling me.”
“Chris…please come. Please.”
“And this isn’t just some other lame attempt to get Dave to notice you?”
“No! It’s not. I promise you, I swear to you, I am not a threat to you. Not at all.”
“Even though you’re still in love with him?”
“Yes. But he’s chosen now. He chose you. And I won’t get in the way of that. I swear. I will not do a thing to interfere with your relationship. I promise.”
“Ok.”
“Christ! What do I have to say to convince you?”
“Kurt, put yourself in my shoes for a second - you admitted to using my boyfriend, to being in love with him, and then you kissed him in front of me. So, I get to be a little skeptical. In fact, I get to be a lot skeptical. Ok?”
“Yeah, none of those were my finer moments.”
“No, they really really were not. So I guess I just need to know that I won’t get hurt again.”
“Chris, I’m never going to go after Dave again. Ever. That door is so firmly closed, I think I’m going to go find a contractor to help me brick it over. I want to be friends with him, sure, but I won’t ever entertain romantic feelings for him. After what I did to him, I’m shocked he’s even talking to me. He wants you, Chris. Nothing I could ever do is going to change that. Look, I’m swallowing my pride here by calling you - I would much rather be in sitting in a hot bath drinking a bottle of wine - so can’t that be enough. Can’t it be enough that I just say I’m sorry I’m in love with him, but I will never pursue him again. Ever.”
“An act of blind faith?”
“Sure. Call it what you will. But I don’t want some big Dynasty scene here, Chris…I’m not looking to play the part of Joan Collins or anything. I’m not going to fight you in a fountain for Dave. I just want him to be happy. That’s all. This is me waving my white flag.”
“Didn’t Linda Evans kick Joan Collins’ ass every time in Dynasty.”
“You know Dynasty? I’m impressed.”
“Dave is the only gay man I know who doesn’t know who Joan Collins is…he asked me once if she was ever in any of the Transformers movies.”
“That sounds like Dave. So ignorant of our culture.”
“Yeah.” Chris sighed again. “I…”
“Do you know what he said to me tonight?”
“You talked to him?”
“He said he’s scared he’s becoming lonely single Dave. And that he’s never felt as happy and fulfilled as when he was with you. I can’t help but think you feel the same way.”
“I do.”
“I’m out of the picture, Chris. There’s nothing holding you back from being able to feel that way again, with him.”
Chris sighed.
“I don’t really know you. “ Kurt continued, “But I think I do know that you and Dave need to be together. When you answered the phone just now, you’d been crying…there’s a really easy way to stop feeling so bad. So…get on a plane, Chris. Or. at least think about it…but not for too long.”
“Yeah.”
“But, can I ask you to do something?”
“What?”
“Don’t tell Dave about what I said…I think I’ve embarrassed myself enough.”
“I can do that.”
“Ok. I’m going to hang up now. Ok? I hope I get to see you tomorrow.”
Kurt heard something that resembled a goodbye as he ended the call.
He stayed sitting on the edge of the tub for a while. There was no going back now. He just hoped that making Dave happy would be enough for him.
As he stood and walked back out into the suite, he couldn’t help but think: acts of self sacrifice…that’s what love was all about, right?
**************************
*Washington, DC - Chris Michaels’ Apartment*
Chris sat on the sofa. His phone clutched in one hand.
He stood and walked around the living room. Once. Twice. A third time.
On the fourth go around, he paused. The picture of him and Dave at that stupid maple syrup festival. Jess had taken in. They were smiling. Happy. Dave had been so cold and cranky. But he didn’t stop smiling all day long.
Chris stared at the photo. And he smiled.
He lifted the phone. Unlocked it. Dialed.
“Jess? How good are you at cutting hair?”
*******************************************
*The Wedding Day.*
Torn. That would probably be the best word that Kurt could think of to use to describe what he was feeling. He was torn. Torn between running up to Dave and screaming: “I MADE A MISTAKE! Don’t choose him. Choose me! I love you.” And being happy for Dave and Chris.
Torn between walking out of the hotel and never coming back or staying and acting like there was no place on earth he’d rather be.
The moment Dave had come up to him, informing him that Chris had arrived, it felt like his stomach fell right out of his body. And from that moment Kurt knew he had to remain aloof. He had to separate himself.
Because he was not entirely certain what he would do if he didn’t.
Of course, the moment people heard that he had convinced Chris to come to the wedding, everyone wanted to know why and what he had said. He’d managed to avoid almost every single one of the gleeks…he didn’t want to talk about it. The most effective way to avoid it was to say that this was Mercedes’ day and he didn’t want to take that away from her.
This had worked on everyone but Rachel. Who had made a beeline for him as soon as she heard.
“Are you ok?”
“Yeah. I’m ok.”
“Want to tell me what happened?”
“Look, I don’t want to make a big deal of it, it’s Mer…”
“Yes, yes. It’s Mercedes’ day, I know. But right now she’s posing for pictures with her new husband. So you can easily tell me what happened. So, what happened?”
“I sucked up my pride. I called Chris and begged him to come. He came. Dave’s happy. End of story.”
“You’re upset.”
“No. I’m not. I’m not allowed to be upset about this until tomorrow. Then I can cry and wail and carry on like Bette Davis in All About Eve…but today, I need to be calm, cool and collected and act like I am so happy for ALL the couples at this wedding.”
“Oh Kurt…”
“I’m going to go get a drink. I’ll talk to you later, Ok.”
Kurt had hurried away from Rachel. In fact, he’d hurried away from as many people as he could. Even when Santana had started asking him about it, he’d run away before actually getting to meet her finance.
The speeches had been awful. Dave’s heartfelt little ode to his best friend. And then his own little philosophical tract on love…including that bitchy remark about self sacrifice, which Dave had latched on to.
He’d knew that Dave would figure it out, but he just wished it would have happened after Kurt had long since gone back to New York.
So of course he would want to talk…Kurt’s resolve had almost dissolved a few times…
“And what about you, Kurt? What happens to you tomorrow or the day after or whenever your flight is?”
Kurt had wanted so desperately to say: “That depends on you. Because I still do love you.”
But instead he told him what Dave needed to hear.
“No! I need you to leave me alone. You want to be my friend, then fine, if it helps you sleep better at night. But for now, Dave, I need to walk away from you. I need to be away from you. I gave you the ending you wanted…the ending you deserve…but now I need you to leave me alone.”
Kurt had done the right thing. He just felt miserable about having done it.
And right now, watching them dance, he felt torn again. Torn between being truly happy for Dave and wanting to run away and find the nearest Cheesecake Factory.
The rustle of fabric next to him drew his attention. Rachel lowered herself and her huge red dress into the chair next to him. She held out a glass of red wine.
“Thought you might like a drink.”
“Yeah. Thanks.”
“You should try to smile. You are the man of honor.”
“I think my official duties are done…Mercedes and Az look pretty much like they’re in their own little world now.” He gestured towards the newly married couple who were slow dancing, blissfully unaware that the song was actually a rather fast Erasure song.
“True. Ok, so how about you try smiling, for the sake of smiling?”
“I’m trying.”
“I know.”
Kurt gestured with his glass at Dave and Chris who were dancing with Santana, her fiancé, and Tina. "Look at him - I did that. I made that happen. I made him happy. Shouldn’t that be enough?"
"I'm pretty sure they did a lot of the leg work before you came along. Like meeting each other. And it is…for him…but not for you."
"Ok, fine, I did THAT tonight. It should be. I want him to be happy. I…I just…" Kurt frowned and drank deeply from his wineglass.
"Better. Not perfect, but better. You know, just before my song…"
“Which was lovely.”
“Thank you. But, anyways, just before my song, I saw Dave and it looked like he was searching for you…but then he saw Chris and I saw something come over his face…”
"God,” Kurt moaned. “It's like I'm in some messed up, queerified, version of My Best Friend's Wedding."
"You could do a lot worse than end up as Julia Roberts."
"I can't pull off that laugh. And if I'm Julia, does that make you Rupert Everett?"
"I have better bone structure."
"Better singing voice too."
"And I have a Tony to prove it."
Kurt sighed as the music switched to some slow song by an indie band that he’d never heard of. He watched Dave and Chris slide into each other’s arms and start to slow dance. Dave motioned towards another guest and whispered in Chris' ear, whatever he said caused the shorter man to explode in laugher. They looked happy.
"You could have fought for him, you know?"
"No. I couldn't. I hurt him so much. We're not ready."
"And if you've lost him for good?"
"Rach, I've spent most of my adult life searching for the kind of man Dave Karofsky has become and when I found him, I went insane and drove him away. And then I went even more insane and did things - said things - I am not proud of. And Chris, well…he's awesome. And look at how happy they are - if I've lost Dave to Chris, at least I've lost him to someone who deserves him. I have a lot to make up for. A lot of work to do to become Dave's friend again…and I'm willing to do it. But if I fought for him now, when we're both so messed up about each other, I would have lost him for good, and ruined any chance he’d have to even be half as as happy as he is right now."
"You two are like velcro." Rachel suddenly blurted out.
"Excuse me?"
"You were made to come together - to be bound together - but constantly ripped apart. In high school, you were in this constant state of being ripped apart, but then you would come together, only to end up apart again. For ten years, you were apart, but then you came together again. And now it's starting all over again. Together apart. Together apart. And each time that you're pulled apart - there's this angry ripping sound. And maybe you'll come back together again - rejoined - but it might not be in quite the right way. You might be askew, or mismatched, or whatever…it might be as friends or it might be as something more. But you two are like velcro - you're going to end up rejoined, in some way."
"And what happens then? Will we just end up being pulled back apart?"
"Who knows. Maybe. Or maybe you'll stick this time. But all I do know is that there are people who are worth having in our lives and if it means having to endure a little discomfort at the ripping apart…well, we'll put up with it. You did a good thing today, bringing Chris here, you made Dave happier than you even know. It was selfless and kind, and I think it started that process of bringing those two strips of velcro back together - and I'm proud of you."
"Thank you. I'm just not sure how I feel about being compared to something that keeps shoes on the feet of five year olds."
"You've never listened to Bell X1, have you?"
"No."
"Remind me to send you a song…"
Kurt sipped at his glass of wine and watched as Dave Karofsky slowly moved around the dance-floor, arms wrapped around Chris’ neck, with an enormous grin plastered on his face. Dave looked up and right at Kurt. And as hazel eyes met blue eyes, that instinctive pull began again… It might not end in marriage or…who knows. Or, it might result in two people, who've spent a life time fight each other and are just now starting to understand their pull towards one another, finding some degree of happiness together. Or it might result in those two people slowly becoming friends. But, Kurt could feel it…maybe they both could at that moment. That strange need…pull…to be together…somehow.
"I'll be your positive / You'll be my negative…I'll be your velcro."
tbc in Blood & Tears.
Sequel to Dependable. Reliable.
Author: Pulpobsessed.
Pairing: Multiple Pairings
Characters: This chapter: Dave Karofsky, Kurt Hummel, Azimio Adams, Mercedes Jones, Chris Michaels (OC), and others.
Rating: R (for language)
Summary: The impacts of what happened at the reunion start to take shape in Dave's life - eventually forcing Dave to make a life changing decision. This is a story of heart breaks, finding yourself, finding the one you're meant to be with, and of salvation - for more than just one character.
Genre: FutureFic
Disclaimer: Glee belongs to Ryan Murphy. Not me. But this Dave...he's all mine.
A/N. Final Chapter - A bit of a departure for me…seeing as how it is not in Dave's voice. Rather, Dave is completely absent. Instead, I give you Kurt and Chris. Also, for a preview of the third and final installment in the D&R universe, there is a link at the bottom of the story. I want to say thank you to every single person who ever read, reviewed, emailed me, tweeted me, or even just gave my story some thought…you are all simply amazing. Your devotion to my work is what makes me want to actually write! I cannot thank you enough! So…here it is…the end of Velcro - and why I named it Velcro. Oh, and yes, you do find out who Dave chose at the end of chapter 12.
You can Find all 12 chapters of D&R HERE
Previous Installments of Velcro: 1 | 2 | 3.1 | 3.2 | 4.1 | 4.2 | 5.1 | 5.2 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12
Part 13 - A Final Interlude: What Kurt Did.
*Columbus Ohio, The Westin Hotel.*
As the door to Dave’s room slammed shut behind him, Kurt practically ran down the hallway towards the elevators. After witnessing how broken Dave was, Kurt knew he had to do something. And the moment Dave’s hand had touched his leg, the currents of electricity that had exploded through him, Kurt had sprung into action.
Kurt knew he couldn’t win. He knew how much Dave loved Chris - he could see it. He could hear it. Hell, he could even feel it wafting off Dave like it was a scent. or something.
Kurt knew that seeing Chris and Dave together would probably kill him. But…it would be worth it. Please…just let it be worth it.
It wasn’t often that Kurt Hummel admitted that he had done something wrong…in fact, he could technically count the number of times on one hand…maybe two, if he pushed it. But with Dave…he could easily admit now, that he had royally fucked up.
Every single step he’d taken over the past year had been the wrong one…from sleeping with Dave, to not expressing his worries and concerns with Dave, to just cutting off all communication with him…and then there was his most shameful move.
Telling Dave that he’d used him…which was only really a partial truth. But Kurt had his own reasons for that. And then the big admission…his real feelings for Dave. Just by uttering those words, Kurt had sent both their lives into utter turmoil.
There were so many things he could’ve done. Like talking to Dave right away. Or not lying to him. Or maybe flying to DC so he could actually talk to Dave in person.
Mostly, he should have been open and honest about his feelings - especially when they started to change. What Kurt had done was nothing more than emotional manipulation. And Kurt was pretty familiar with the whole world of emotional manipulation…only, he was normally the one being manipulated. Especially by the men in his life.
Kurt had lost his grip on reality. He honestly had no idea what happened to his brain. Perhaps it was knowing what Dave had done for Finn. Knowing that despite everything he and Dave had gone through, Dave had stepped up to the plate as a true friend.
So, maybe it was just natural that Kurt started to see Dave in that way…
But, instead of acting like a normal human being and trying to work things out with Dave, Kurt took what was already a bad situation and made it even worse…made it into some kind of awful hell.
Kurt had absolutely wrecked Dave’s relationship…he couldn’t ignore the fact that he was the cause of Dave’s loneliness. This was all his fault. If Kurt hadn’t acted like a selfish child, Chris would be here right now and Dave could be happy…not sitting in his room feeling rejected and abandoned, eating a pound of Red Vines!
Kurt had to do something. Anything.
If he really loved Dave, he would do it. He would do this…
Yeah, that’s right, fucking world, Love. Capital ‘L’. Kurt Hummel was in Love with Dave Karofsky. And sure, he might have arrived at that particular conclusion about a year too late and in the worst way imaginable…but it was true. He loved Dave. But Kurt had to be realistic. Dave’s feelings for Kurt were not about to jump into the realm of the romantic. Kurt could barely hope for feelings of the plutonic kind. Dave had every reason to kick him out of his life.
And if Kurt really was going to be honest, he really deserved that to happen.
But for now, he was still a part of Dave’s life. And he had to prove that he belonged there. So, he’d be damned if he was going to continue to allow Dave to be this miserable.
No, the man who Kurt Hummel loved was not going to be this sad.
No way.
As Kurt slammed his hand on the elevator button for his floor, he decided exactly how he was going to do that.
He was going to get Chris to this wedding…
No matter what.
*************************************
Kurt raised his hand to knock on the door in front of him.
Was he really going to do this? Was he actually going to bug her about this? On this night, of all nights?
All because of his immense sense of guilt over what had happened between him and Dave.
Yes…yes, he was…because he had to do this.
Kurt knocked. And prayed that Mercedes Jones wouldn’t try to kill him.
The door flew open. Kurt couldn’t help himself from smirking when he saw who was standing in the doorway.
“You’re not supposed to be here!” Kurt chided.
A shirtless and very annoyed Azimio Adams stared back at him. Frowning. “If you start quoting bad luck shit at me, I’m gonna dump my glass of champagne on your head.”
“Don’t you fucking dare! That’s good wine, Az!” Mercedes yelled from inside the suite.
Kurt shook his head. “Yes, don’t waste it. But I’m glad you’re here…I need your help. Both of you.”
Mercedes appeared behind Azimio, tying the belt of a dressing gown around her, looking concerned. “What’s wrong, honey?”
“It’s Dave.”
“What’s wrong with Dave? Is he ok? Should I go down there?” Azimio started to move past Kurt.
Mercedes jumped forward, “Az! A shirt!”
Simultaneously, Kurt reached out and grabbed the man’s arm. “No! Please don’t. But I need your help in…in…I need you to help me to get Chris here by tomorrow.”
“Excuse me?” Azimio stopped, turning to stare, incredulously, at Kurt.
“Kurt? What are you doing?” Mercedes grabbed him and pulled him into the hotel suite. It was quite a large suite, much larger than Kurt’s. The room was mostly taken up by the massive king size bed, which was currently unmade and flanked by two night tables - one of which held a half empty champagne bottle. Directly across from the bed was a huge flat screen TV, currently tuned to some web-based R&B radio station. A large fast food bag was sitting on the chest of drawers directly below the TV. Kurt also noticed various items of discarded clothing littered on the floor - clearly Kurt had interrupted a something he probably shouldn’t have interrupted.
Crap.
Az pushed past Kurt, stooping to pick up a shirt, he pulled it on and continued to glare at Kurt.
“Kurt?” Mercedes asked, gently, as though the question could send Kurt into a panic attack. “You didn’t answer my question. What are you doing? What is this?”
“He’s so sad, Mercedes. He just looks so…lonely.”
“Yeah? And who’s to blame for that, huh?” Azimio snapped.
“Az, please. That’s not going to help.” Mercedes reached out and rubbed her finance’s arm.
“Well, someone needs to say it, ok? My man, Dave, is sitting down in his room feeling like the whole world is getting ready to shit on him…and if you had just kept you damn mouth shut…”
Az turned away, walking to the bed and flopping down on it.
“Yeah. I know that, ok?” Kurt snapped back. “And I’m so sorry…if I could take everything back, I would. Everything. Not just what happened last month, but everything that happened over the past year, I would. I would in a second.”
“Kurt…” Mercedes started, “We’ve been trying really hard to understand everything that happened, but some of it is just so…well…screwed up.”
“I know. I know.”
“We were both really excited after the reunion that you and Dave might have a shot, but when you let that go…we were expecting it to be the end of it. What happened? Why didn’t you just let go?”
“I don’t know Cedes…I just don’t know. I think…I think I went innsane or something. But I thought I wanted him…and then I didn’t. But then suddenly, it was like the thing I didn’t even realize I wanted was taken away from me and I went off the deep end trying to get it back. Everything I did, I’m so so ashamed of it.”
“So, what are you…”
“I have to make things right. I have to! I need to get Chris here.”
“Why?” Azimio asked from the bed.
“Because I need to make this right…because I…”
“No selfish intentions?” Az snapped again.
“NO!”
“Totally selfless? Just to make Dave happy?”
“What would I have to gain in getting Dave’s boyfriend to come here so they can live happily ever after?”
“You tell me.”
“Azimio, I swear, I’m not doing this to hurt Dave. I swear. I just want him to be happy.”
“You’ll excuse me if I don’t go out of my way to believe that.”
“Azimio, please. I need your help to do this.”
“Swear to me.”
“What?”
“Swear to me that all you want to do is help Dave. That you will never, EVER use this to try and get back together with him. That no matter what happens tomorrow, you’ll leave him be. You won’t utter the words, ‘I did this because I love you.’ Or anything like that…I need to know that this this ain’t another one of those rom-coms that seem to play on an endless loop in your head…this is Dave. And I won’t let you hurt him again. So swear to me…”
“I…I…”
“He’s right, Kurt. You can’t do this for any other reason than to help Dave.”
“So you want me to swear too?”
“Yes.”
Kurt looked between them. Mercedes was standing next to the bed, holding Azimio’s hand, while he lay back on the pillows. Both stared at him, expectantly.
Kurt sighed.
“I swear. I’m not doing this for any other reason than to help Dave. This is not just another way for me to manipulate myself into Dave’s life. I just want to help. Doing this might mean I could make up for some of what I did…I swear I have no selfish intentions here.”
Mercedes and Azimio looked at each other. Kurt hated it when they had one of their silent conversations, he could almost see the words fly between their foreheads. Then Azimio nodded.
“Ok, we’ll help you. But we can’t do this alone.” He crawled across the bed, grabbing his phone from the nightstand. “We need to call in the big guns. It’s fucking lucky I didn’t delete any of these numbers after my visit.”
“Who are we…” Kurt was confused.
“Who do you think?” Az looked up. “We’re calling his other best friend - Jessica.”
“This should be fun.” Mercedes sank down onto the bed.
Azimio seemed to have the phone number at the ready because it was already at his ear.
Kurt shifted between his feet. Nervously. Suddenly, this wasn’t such a good idea. He was pretty sure that this Jessica woman…probably hated him. And maybe hate wasn’t even strong enough a word.
“Hey! Jess? It’s Azimio.”
---
“No, Dave’s ok.”
---
“He’s pretty down in the dumps.”
---
“Yeah, even last night at the party. He just seems sad, you know? I tried all the things you suggested…but he’s really hurting.”
---
“Yeah. Look…um…we need your help.”
---
“Yeah…we want to get Chris here. By tomorrow.”
---
“No, it actually wasn’t my idea…not this time any way.”
---
“It was Kurt’s.”
----
“I don’t think that was very lady like.”
---
“Yeah…that sounds like a plan.”
---
“OK. Hold on.” Azimio held the phone out to Kurt. “She wants to talk to you.”
Kurt cautiously reached out and took the phone. He looked at Mercedes, hoping for some encouragement. She smiled, nodded, and took a sip of her champagne.
Kurt took a deep breath. “H-h-hello?”
“Do you know how much a case of napalm costs?”
“Um…no. And what does that have…”
“It’s fucking expensive. But I am totally willing to forgo my trip to Barbados this year so I could fire bomb your fucking house, you sad little twink.”
“Look, I know that I made some really stupid mis…”
“No! You don’t get to sit there and act all repentant. I’m fucking pissed at you. You hurt Dave…a lot! And sure, he’s all on this whole ‘I’m gonna forgive Kurt Hummel so we can be friends kick’…but I’m sure as shit not! So save your apologies. I don’t want to hear them. I want to help Dave. And I’ll do it, no matter what.”
“Ok.”
“So…here’s what’s gonna go down. I want Azimio and Mercedes to call Chris, then I’m going to call him. Then you’re going to call him…and you’re going to grovel. You’re going to plead. You’re gonna promise him your first born, left nut, and right kidney if you need to…but make it clear that you want him and Dave to be together.”
“Yeah, that I can do. Look, I know you don’t want to hear my excuses or whatever, but I swear to you I do just want Dave to be happy. I really really do. And I’ll do whatever I have to do make that happen. I fucked up. I’m sorry, I honestly am.”
“Yeah. I know you are. I’m not some heartless bitch, ok. I get it. You did what thought you had to. But you really fucked up and hurt my best friend in the process…and, honey, that usually means war. So, I’m giving you this chance…this one big chance. Fix this. Fix this now.”
“Ok. I’ll do everything I can. I can be pretty…determined…that way.”
“So I’ve gathered. Just do it, twinkie.”
“Can we get his number?”
“Az has it.”
“He does?”
“Duh! Why wouldn’t he? Ok, call me when they’ve talked to him.”
And just like that, she was gone. Kurt pulled the phone away from his ear. He stared at it for a second, then looked up at his two friends.
“She wants you to call him.”
“Yeah, she told me that. Don’t look so nervous, Kurt. You knew you’d have to talk to him, right?” Azimio was pouring himself another glass of champagne. He looked over at Mercedes, “Think we can order another bottle for an actual romantic night, alone.” She nodded.
Kurt choose to ignore the obvious annoyance in Az’s voice. “Yeah…I just have no idea what I’m going to say.”
“Hon…you’ll figure it out. You always do. If there’s one thing I know about Kurt Hummel, it’s that he’s never at a loss for words.” Mercedes said, reassuringly.
“Yeah, man, you’ll figure it out. Phone, please.” Az held his hand out.
Kurt handed the phone to Az, who quickly flipped through his contacts. Kurt closed his eyes as he heard Azimio begin speaking.
“Chris? Hi. This is Az. Can we talk for a second?”
***********************
*Washington, DC - Chris Michaels’ Apartment.*
Chris Michaels was lying on his sofa, with a thin green blanket lying tangled at his feet. On the floor next to the sofa lay an open copy of To Kill A Mockingbird, forgotten. The coffee table was a mess of take-out containers, bottles of beer, cans of Dr. Pepper, packages of candy, and one half empty bottle of vodka - the cheap kind, he didn’t deserve the good stuff.
On the TV was some some old sit-com rerun about about bunch of genius nerds who, despite having the ability to solve advanced scientific problems, kept fucking up their romantic lives.
At least Chris could identify with the romantic fuck up bit.
Chris was dressed in an old GWU t-shirt that Dave had left at Chris’ months ago and a ratty old pair of boxer shorts. His hair was disgustingly shaggy…he hadn’t actually gone for a haircut in over a month. And his beard was out of control…it had not seen the better side of a beard trimmer in almost two weeks. He was just damn lucky that his projects for the library let him work at home. And the Bureau had been leaving him alone lately.
All he wanted to do right now was lie in his bed and sleep…possibly forget that he even existed. Forget that his relationship practically resembled a nuclear wasteland. Forget that he barely wanted to get out of bed most days. Try and forget the sound of Dave’s voice, the touch of his hand, the feeling of his lips…try to forget everything about Dave. And especially forget his boyfriend’s pleas to go with him to Columbus…
Dave had hurt Chris. So now Chris was hurting Dave.
Chris sighed. Reached out and grabbed a lukewarm bottle of beer. Chugging down half of it.
Disgusting.
He entertained switching channels as he saw two characters declare their undying love for each other…he fucking hated love.
He was reaching out to grab his iPad - which doubled as a remote control - when his phone rang.
He didn’t recognize the number. Normally he would have just ignored the call, but for a second fantasized that it might be Dave and that maybe they could talk.
“Hello?” Chris grumbled into the phone.
“Chris? Hi. This is Az. Can we talk for a second?”
“Azimio? What…what’s wrong? Is Dave ok?” Chris almost jumped off the couch. His feet caught in the blanket, which resulted in him nearly diving face first into the coffee table. His left hand shot out just in time to catch himself on the arm of the sofa. He flopped back down onto the couch, sitting this time.
“Az, what’s wrong!”
“Nothing’s wrong…well, there’s nothing wrong me me and Cedes or the wedding…but well, shit is wrong with Dave.”
“Is he ok?”
“Mostly.”
Chris closed his eyes. He knew what was coming. He’d wondered when this call would come. “W-w-what’s going on?”
“Look, man, I gotta be totally honest with ya…ok?”
“Yes, yes. Of course.”
“We want you to come to Columbus. We want you to come to this wedding.”
“Azimio…” Chris’ head sank into his hands. He sighed loudly. “Fuck…”
“Look, dude, I get it. I really really do. Cedes and I have been down roads like this before, ok? I once did something stupid - the hooker incident…what? Hold on, Chris.”
Chris heard Mercedes’ voice in the background. Then: “No! I won’t…but it might help! You’re not allowed to be mad at me the night before out wedding. Ow!”
A second later Az was back on the phone, “Sorry man, had to receive instructions. I’m apparently forbidden from talking about the…OW! Fuck, stop slapping me! I won’t call it that… Anyway,” Az sighed deeply, “Look, I did some stupid stuff, I fucked up bad and Cedes pretty much wanted nothing to do with me…she even started dating some other guy. But I was miserable without her…so I sucked up my pride and begged her to take me back…and after a few months of begging, we got back together for the last time. And now we’re getting hitched. Look, Chris, Dave is fucking miserable. He misses you. He loves you. He made some real stupid mistakes - serious ones, but he’s sorry. And if you’re worried about the whole Kurt thing, I have it on good authority that it’s totally over. Completely.”
“It’s just not that simple, Az. I just don’t know if I can…”
“Do you love him?”
“Yes. God, yes.”
“Then get on a plane. Come here.”
“I…I need to think about it.”
“Yeah. I get that. But I promise you that come tomorrow, there will be a spot for you next to Dave at the head table. We want you here… Oh, hold on. Cedes wants to say something.”
“Ok.” Chris couldn’t help but smile. He could also feel the slight tinge of tears starting to gather in the corner of his eyes.
Mercedes voice filled his ear. “Hi, we haven’t met, but I think I would really like you. So, I want you to come to my wedding. Ok?”
“I need to think…”
“Yeah. I know. Men are stupid, but sometimes even when they’re being stupid, they’re worth holding onto. Remember that. Cause, Dave…he’s worth holding onto.”
“Thanks.”
“And look…to be honest…come tomorrow, you might end up regretting that you’re missing this. That you’re missing being here with Dave. You might end up regretting this for a very long time. So why do something you will end up regretting. Just…get on a plane, ok?”
“I..” Chris didn’t even know how to respond…truth was, everything they said made total sense. He should just go…but…but…
What was it that was holding him back?
“Ok, we’re gonna go now. You think. But don’t just think about what Dave did…think about Dave. And how much you love him. Do the right thing, here. Trust me.”
Chris mumbled a goodbye as he heard the call click off. He sat there, staring at the phone in his hand.
He let his head fall back against the couch so he was staring at the ceiling. Sheldon and Leonard were arguing over something on the TV. Chris sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.
He could actually picture what Dave was doing right at that moment - he was probably sitting alone in a hotel room, eating junk food. Red Vines and Reeses Peanut Butter cups. Chris hated Dave’s emotional eating and had tried many times to get him to stop…it had been, for a while, the only thing they fought about.
Until now.
Chris wasn’t really sure how long he had been sitting like that, but the sound of his phone ringing again startled him.
He glanced at the screen. Jessica.
He answered. He should have figured they were in this together.
“Hi Jess.”
“Ok, so there’s a flight to Columbus tomorrow morning at eight am. That’ll put you in the city by noon, at the latest. But we’re gonna have to go to the airport tonight, since the flight is sold out…we need to get you on standby. The wedding is at, what, three?”
“Jess…”
“Yup, I just checked the email Dave sent me complaining about his cummerbund, the wedding’s at three. So if the flight gets in at noon, that should give you enough time to get ready and have the big romantic reunion with Dave and all of that. I can be there in twenty minutes, is that enough time?”
“Jess…no. Please, don’t.”
“What? Don’t what?”
“Don’t do this…I just don’t know if I can do this. I mean, what am I supposed to do? Just walk into their wedding, grab Dave and try to get him to get me back?”
“I wasn’t even aware that you two broke up.”
“Really? I figure that after my big refusal to go to the wedding that it was a foregone conclusion that we were over.”
“Chris, Dave is hurting. Bad. Even if he thinks that you guys are over, I promise you that if you show up there tomorrow, he will take you back with open arms.”
“There’s still…”
“What? The Kurt thing? Fuck, Chris, you can’t possibly still be worried about that? Can you? Again, Dave is hurting. He’s miserable. You actually think that if he felt this bad over the two of you that he’d be hooking up with Kurt right now? No, I think that if he was going to jump into the twink’s bed, he’d have done it already…I think that should be pretty obvious, don’t you?”
“I…I just have a bad feeling. What happens if I get there and I end up getting hurt.”
“So, you’re gonna sit around in your underwear, wallowing in self pity watching hours of The Big Bang Theory?”
“What…how did you…”
“You forgot to mute it…Dave was right, you like your TV loud, huh?”
“Oh. Yeah.”
“So, are you really going to just sit there and feel sorry for yourself, when I’m giving you the chance to try…actually try and maybe succeed in getting Dave back.”
“I..I…”
“Chris…I’m not going to pretend that I’m not pissed at Dave either. What happened was fucked up, he should have been way smarter. He should have talked to Kurt - alone - a long time before all that shit went down. But he’s trying. He’s done all the things you asked him to. Therapy. Cutting off contact with Kurt. Not seeing you for a whole month. Everything, Chris. All he wanted was to have you at the wedding with him.”
“I need to think about all this, Jess. I just can’t say yes…”
“But you can…it’s easy. Yes. I will fly to Columbus. Yes I will go make a big romantic move to try and win my boyfriend back. Try it. Say yes. Don’t end up regretting this…trust me. I know all about romantic regret. I have enough to fill at least a couple dozen scrapbooks. Maybe you and I could take a class…or not, that is if you go.”
“I just don’t know…”
“Oh for the love of…Ok, look, I’m going to be sitting here all night - cause you know, why would I have a date on a Friday night - and when you’re ready…you call me. But I think you know what the right thing to do here is…just make sure you do it. Ok?”
And with that she was gone. Chris pulled the phone back from his ear. He stared at it. He did know what the right thing to do was. He knew exactly what he should be doing…he should be throwing clothes into a bag and running to the airport to get on the next available flight to Columbus. That’s what he should be doing.
They were all right - Jess, Az, Mercedes - he already was regretting his decision. He hated not being there. His stubborn nature and perpetual fear of getting hurt was costing him more than he was really willing to give up.
Instead of listening to them, what was he doing? He was picking up the bottle of lukewarm beer again and taking another chug. Instead of getting to Ohio as fast as he could, he was lying back down on the couch, pulling his knees up to his chest and wishing he could block the world out.
He stared at the TV until Sheldon started to get blurry. Chris realized he had started crying. He grabbed one of the many pillows he had lying around and pressed his face into it.
So, instead of getting on a plane, Chris Michaels sobbed into a pillow.
He might know what the right thing to do was, but he was too damn scared to do it.
***************************
*Columbus Ohio, The Westin Hotel.*
Kurt sat, hunched forward, on the chaise-lounge that someone had decided was a good idea for the hotel suite. He had been staring at Mercedes and Az while they were on the phone. He stopped breathing during most of the conversation. And for the time directly following, when he knew Jess was making her play.
He was quite sure that he hadn’t moved in over an hour.
Watching Azimio talk to Chris had been nerve wracking. The whole time, he’d been afraid to even breathe, worried that Chris would know he was in the room and would hang up.
Then, there was the awful anxious silence while waiting for Jess to call back. Waiting for some word that maybe he wouldn’t have to actually talk to the guy…that maybe he would be able to just say it was all his idea and that everyone helped him put it together.
But now, as he listened to Azimio talk to Jess, he knew that he’d have to make that call.
Kurt’s eyes flickered towards the door. He could get up right now and just walk out. Pretend this little moment of insanity had never happened. He could just go back to his room and open that other bottle of wine and drink himself into oblivion. And tomorrow he could just blame this whole idea on a case of temporary insanity.
Yeah…that’s what he’d do.
But suddenly he was being handed a phone. He looked down at it. Azimio’s phone was severely scratched up. What did he do with it? Use it as a replacement hockey puck?
“You ok, Kurt?” Mercedes’ voice broke through the mental screaming that was going on inside his head.
“Yes. No. I don’t know. What am I going to say?”
“Kurt, I’ve seen you do amazing things. I’ve seen you face down every bigoted and cruel person you ever encountered back in high school.”
“Including Dave!” Azimo offered.
“I’ve seen you face the idea that your dad might pass away with honest and sincere dignity. I’ve seen you fight to get your dignity back every time someone threw you down. Every ex-boyfriend that treated you like crap, I’ve watched you come back from. I’ve seen you at your worst. I’ve seen you go insane. I’ve watched you deal with a brother we all thought was lost…”
“This is different.”
“No. It’s not. You want to do something for someone you care about. You want to do something selfless and good…You have the power to make this happen, Kurt. So just dig deep and find that endless reserve of strength…and call him.”
Kurt gripped the phone. She was right. This was for Dave. This was his way of saying just how sorry he truly was. Kurt stood up. “Um, I’m going to make the call in the bathroom…privacy.”
He pressed call as he shut the bathroom door. It rang four times and then there was a tired, tear filled voice in his ear.
“Hello?”
“Please don’t hang up. It’s Kurt…just don’t hang up.”
Silence. Kurt lowered himself down onto the rim of the tub. Waiting. Just as he was certain that Chris had either thrown the phone down in disgust or had perhaps silently hung up… “Man, you people are more organized than the online gossip mill the last time Britney Spears had a face lift.”
“Yeah.” Kurt let a small laugh out. “I guess so.”
“I don’t really want to talk to you, you know that right?”
“I know.”
“What do you want?”
“I want to convince you to come to Columbus.”
“I think that between Az and Jess, everything’s been said.”
“Sure…but not by me.”
“Hm.”
“Look, how about you just listen…and when I’m done talking, if you want to hang up, you can.”
There was a sigh. A deep audible sigh. “Yeah.”
Kurt took a deep breath. Ok…here goes nothing.
“I fall in love easily. I think it’s one of my worst traits, really. I especially fall in love with what I can’t have. I’ve been doing that since I was a teenager. If there was a straight boy at my high school, I fell in love with them. In college, I did the same thing. Not always straight boys. But guys who either were not available, or thought they were too good for me. Or just guys who were generally out of my reach. It’s just who I am, I guess. And I did it again - I fell in love with Dave, and I’m sorry for that. I fell in love with your boyfriend. I admit that the timing of everything was wrong. Really really wrong. But I never thought about anyone but myself. I never thought about you and I never thought about Dave. I just figured, hey I’m in love with him so why wouldn’t he return those feelings…but my feelings were all wrong. They were for the wrong reasons. They were not healthy. They were…just not what I should have been feeling.”
Kurt closed his eyes. He had to do this. He had to do what was right. He had to…lie.
“But I swear to you, Chris. I am not in love with Dave anymore.”
“You’re lying.” The voice wasn’t angry or hurtful. It was resigned and sad.
“What?” Kurt’s eyes shot open.
“You’re lying. Ok, not about all the stuff in the beginning, but you are lying about not being in love with Dave anymore. But why are you lying?”
“I…I…” Ok, regroup. Gotta regroup. Kurt scrambled. So much for his Oscar award winning performance. Kurt sighed. “Ok, so I am lying. But I was only doing it because I want Dave to be happy. And he can’t be happy with me.”
“That sounds more honest.”
“I can’t do anything to make this better for him. He doesn’t want me - I think that’s pretty clear. If he did, I don’t think I would be calling you. He looks awful. He’s completely resigned to the fact that you two are not going to be together anymore. He’s completely resigned to being thing lonely guy. He’s trying to look happy, but you’d have to be a blind idiot not to see how miserable he is.”
“That’s what everyone is telling me.”
“Chris…please come. Please.”
“And this isn’t just some other lame attempt to get Dave to notice you?”
“No! It’s not. I promise you, I swear to you, I am not a threat to you. Not at all.”
“Even though you’re still in love with him?”
“Yes. But he’s chosen now. He chose you. And I won’t get in the way of that. I swear. I will not do a thing to interfere with your relationship. I promise.”
“Ok.”
“Christ! What do I have to say to convince you?”
“Kurt, put yourself in my shoes for a second - you admitted to using my boyfriend, to being in love with him, and then you kissed him in front of me. So, I get to be a little skeptical. In fact, I get to be a lot skeptical. Ok?”
“Yeah, none of those were my finer moments.”
“No, they really really were not. So I guess I just need to know that I won’t get hurt again.”
“Chris, I’m never going to go after Dave again. Ever. That door is so firmly closed, I think I’m going to go find a contractor to help me brick it over. I want to be friends with him, sure, but I won’t ever entertain romantic feelings for him. After what I did to him, I’m shocked he’s even talking to me. He wants you, Chris. Nothing I could ever do is going to change that. Look, I’m swallowing my pride here by calling you - I would much rather be in sitting in a hot bath drinking a bottle of wine - so can’t that be enough. Can’t it be enough that I just say I’m sorry I’m in love with him, but I will never pursue him again. Ever.”
“An act of blind faith?”
“Sure. Call it what you will. But I don’t want some big Dynasty scene here, Chris…I’m not looking to play the part of Joan Collins or anything. I’m not going to fight you in a fountain for Dave. I just want him to be happy. That’s all. This is me waving my white flag.”
“Didn’t Linda Evans kick Joan Collins’ ass every time in Dynasty.”
“You know Dynasty? I’m impressed.”
“Dave is the only gay man I know who doesn’t know who Joan Collins is…he asked me once if she was ever in any of the Transformers movies.”
“That sounds like Dave. So ignorant of our culture.”
“Yeah.” Chris sighed again. “I…”
“Do you know what he said to me tonight?”
“You talked to him?”
“He said he’s scared he’s becoming lonely single Dave. And that he’s never felt as happy and fulfilled as when he was with you. I can’t help but think you feel the same way.”
“I do.”
“I’m out of the picture, Chris. There’s nothing holding you back from being able to feel that way again, with him.”
Chris sighed.
“I don’t really know you. “ Kurt continued, “But I think I do know that you and Dave need to be together. When you answered the phone just now, you’d been crying…there’s a really easy way to stop feeling so bad. So…get on a plane, Chris. Or. at least think about it…but not for too long.”
“Yeah.”
“But, can I ask you to do something?”
“What?”
“Don’t tell Dave about what I said…I think I’ve embarrassed myself enough.”
“I can do that.”
“Ok. I’m going to hang up now. Ok? I hope I get to see you tomorrow.”
Kurt heard something that resembled a goodbye as he ended the call.
He stayed sitting on the edge of the tub for a while. There was no going back now. He just hoped that making Dave happy would be enough for him.
As he stood and walked back out into the suite, he couldn’t help but think: acts of self sacrifice…that’s what love was all about, right?
**************************
*Washington, DC - Chris Michaels’ Apartment*
Chris sat on the sofa. His phone clutched in one hand.
He stood and walked around the living room. Once. Twice. A third time.
On the fourth go around, he paused. The picture of him and Dave at that stupid maple syrup festival. Jess had taken in. They were smiling. Happy. Dave had been so cold and cranky. But he didn’t stop smiling all day long.
Chris stared at the photo. And he smiled.
He lifted the phone. Unlocked it. Dialed.
“Jess? How good are you at cutting hair?”
*******************************************
*The Wedding Day.*
Torn. That would probably be the best word that Kurt could think of to use to describe what he was feeling. He was torn. Torn between running up to Dave and screaming: “I MADE A MISTAKE! Don’t choose him. Choose me! I love you.” And being happy for Dave and Chris.
Torn between walking out of the hotel and never coming back or staying and acting like there was no place on earth he’d rather be.
The moment Dave had come up to him, informing him that Chris had arrived, it felt like his stomach fell right out of his body. And from that moment Kurt knew he had to remain aloof. He had to separate himself.
Because he was not entirely certain what he would do if he didn’t.
Of course, the moment people heard that he had convinced Chris to come to the wedding, everyone wanted to know why and what he had said. He’d managed to avoid almost every single one of the gleeks…he didn’t want to talk about it. The most effective way to avoid it was to say that this was Mercedes’ day and he didn’t want to take that away from her.
This had worked on everyone but Rachel. Who had made a beeline for him as soon as she heard.
“Are you ok?”
“Yeah. I’m ok.”
“Want to tell me what happened?”
“Look, I don’t want to make a big deal of it, it’s Mer…”
“Yes, yes. It’s Mercedes’ day, I know. But right now she’s posing for pictures with her new husband. So you can easily tell me what happened. So, what happened?”
“I sucked up my pride. I called Chris and begged him to come. He came. Dave’s happy. End of story.”
“You’re upset.”
“No. I’m not. I’m not allowed to be upset about this until tomorrow. Then I can cry and wail and carry on like Bette Davis in All About Eve…but today, I need to be calm, cool and collected and act like I am so happy for ALL the couples at this wedding.”
“Oh Kurt…”
“I’m going to go get a drink. I’ll talk to you later, Ok.”
Kurt had hurried away from Rachel. In fact, he’d hurried away from as many people as he could. Even when Santana had started asking him about it, he’d run away before actually getting to meet her finance.
The speeches had been awful. Dave’s heartfelt little ode to his best friend. And then his own little philosophical tract on love…including that bitchy remark about self sacrifice, which Dave had latched on to.
He’d knew that Dave would figure it out, but he just wished it would have happened after Kurt had long since gone back to New York.
So of course he would want to talk…Kurt’s resolve had almost dissolved a few times…
“And what about you, Kurt? What happens to you tomorrow or the day after or whenever your flight is?”
Kurt had wanted so desperately to say: “That depends on you. Because I still do love you.”
But instead he told him what Dave needed to hear.
“No! I need you to leave me alone. You want to be my friend, then fine, if it helps you sleep better at night. But for now, Dave, I need to walk away from you. I need to be away from you. I gave you the ending you wanted…the ending you deserve…but now I need you to leave me alone.”
Kurt had done the right thing. He just felt miserable about having done it.
And right now, watching them dance, he felt torn again. Torn between being truly happy for Dave and wanting to run away and find the nearest Cheesecake Factory.
The rustle of fabric next to him drew his attention. Rachel lowered herself and her huge red dress into the chair next to him. She held out a glass of red wine.
“Thought you might like a drink.”
“Yeah. Thanks.”
“You should try to smile. You are the man of honor.”
“I think my official duties are done…Mercedes and Az look pretty much like they’re in their own little world now.” He gestured towards the newly married couple who were slow dancing, blissfully unaware that the song was actually a rather fast Erasure song.
“True. Ok, so how about you try smiling, for the sake of smiling?”
“I’m trying.”
“I know.”
Kurt gestured with his glass at Dave and Chris who were dancing with Santana, her fiancé, and Tina. "Look at him - I did that. I made that happen. I made him happy. Shouldn’t that be enough?"
"I'm pretty sure they did a lot of the leg work before you came along. Like meeting each other. And it is…for him…but not for you."
"Ok, fine, I did THAT tonight. It should be. I want him to be happy. I…I just…" Kurt frowned and drank deeply from his wineglass.
"Better. Not perfect, but better. You know, just before my song…"
“Which was lovely.”
“Thank you. But, anyways, just before my song, I saw Dave and it looked like he was searching for you…but then he saw Chris and I saw something come over his face…”
"God,” Kurt moaned. “It's like I'm in some messed up, queerified, version of My Best Friend's Wedding."
"You could do a lot worse than end up as Julia Roberts."
"I can't pull off that laugh. And if I'm Julia, does that make you Rupert Everett?"
"I have better bone structure."
"Better singing voice too."
"And I have a Tony to prove it."
Kurt sighed as the music switched to some slow song by an indie band that he’d never heard of. He watched Dave and Chris slide into each other’s arms and start to slow dance. Dave motioned towards another guest and whispered in Chris' ear, whatever he said caused the shorter man to explode in laugher. They looked happy.
"You could have fought for him, you know?"
"No. I couldn't. I hurt him so much. We're not ready."
"And if you've lost him for good?"
"Rach, I've spent most of my adult life searching for the kind of man Dave Karofsky has become and when I found him, I went insane and drove him away. And then I went even more insane and did things - said things - I am not proud of. And Chris, well…he's awesome. And look at how happy they are - if I've lost Dave to Chris, at least I've lost him to someone who deserves him. I have a lot to make up for. A lot of work to do to become Dave's friend again…and I'm willing to do it. But if I fought for him now, when we're both so messed up about each other, I would have lost him for good, and ruined any chance he’d have to even be half as as happy as he is right now."
"You two are like velcro." Rachel suddenly blurted out.
"Excuse me?"
"You were made to come together - to be bound together - but constantly ripped apart. In high school, you were in this constant state of being ripped apart, but then you would come together, only to end up apart again. For ten years, you were apart, but then you came together again. And now it's starting all over again. Together apart. Together apart. And each time that you're pulled apart - there's this angry ripping sound. And maybe you'll come back together again - rejoined - but it might not be in quite the right way. You might be askew, or mismatched, or whatever…it might be as friends or it might be as something more. But you two are like velcro - you're going to end up rejoined, in some way."
"And what happens then? Will we just end up being pulled back apart?"
"Who knows. Maybe. Or maybe you'll stick this time. But all I do know is that there are people who are worth having in our lives and if it means having to endure a little discomfort at the ripping apart…well, we'll put up with it. You did a good thing today, bringing Chris here, you made Dave happier than you even know. It was selfless and kind, and I think it started that process of bringing those two strips of velcro back together - and I'm proud of you."
"Thank you. I'm just not sure how I feel about being compared to something that keeps shoes on the feet of five year olds."
"You've never listened to Bell X1, have you?"
"No."
"Remind me to send you a song…"
Kurt sipped at his glass of wine and watched as Dave Karofsky slowly moved around the dance-floor, arms wrapped around Chris’ neck, with an enormous grin plastered on his face. Dave looked up and right at Kurt. And as hazel eyes met blue eyes, that instinctive pull began again… It might not end in marriage or…who knows. Or, it might result in two people, who've spent a life time fight each other and are just now starting to understand their pull towards one another, finding some degree of happiness together. Or it might result in those two people slowly becoming friends. But, Kurt could feel it…maybe they both could at that moment. That strange need…pull…to be together…somehow.
"I'll be your positive / You'll be my negative…I'll be your velcro."
tbc in Blood & Tears.