what is it about the human experience that always causes us to crave something new and unexpected that doesn't really exist? we normalize our condition in that if things are bad we can get used to it and if they are really good we get used to that too. after a while of things being good it just feels okay. we can always conceive of "more" as an ( Read more... )

clean up your place as if you were dead and you were sorting things for the person left behind. make stuff to donate and for them to sell and recycle/throw away.

humanity wavered on the edge of its own collapse....

we polluted our environment, we abused our resources, the earth grew warmer. we fought wars so we could have stuff we wanted. most people don't like to think about it, but one day humanity will be done.

i think i've missed too many naps. i've been too busy lately.

bwahaha! i have eaten from the tree of life and shoot lasers out of my fingers and eyes. freedom is the freedom to engage in coitus with the universe. bathing in the river of insanity is a cleansing fire, a mental peel. run to the edge of the universe and look out on the void that is all. teleport to death and inexistence. you are a cow and a ( Read more... )

i'm sick. i'm always distracted. i have a sinus infection, that kind of sick. i wish i could split myself into a few people. one could just read. how many times have i repeated all the things before? life is like pooping in that it is a lot of things that you have to do over and over again out of physical necessity and biological limitation ( Read more... )

it's probably more like 99.9+% actually, but i'll be optimistic. i'm reading a book talking about authors of the early 20th century, and though i am somewhat familiar with literary history i have not heard of some of these authors who the writer of this book considers formidable talents of his day. also, in collecting and reading old encyclopedia ( Read more... )

it is clear that the philosophy that i operate under (if it could even be called that) offers no guarantees. at the moment i feel like a shambles. fear, insecurity, hypochondria. last night i noticed a spot of blood on my chest and picked it off and there was a little cut underneath that i didn't know was there. i put a dab of iodine on it and ( Read more... )

advice to younger self:
only seek out female companionship and force yourself to do it. don't try for a romantic relationship as that will take care of itself, just make some girl friends. drink and have sleepovers and go dancing and do drugs. ok, what button do i push?

i've been sick for a couple days. i haven't been sleeping well lately. the funny thing about depression is that it often has very little to do with the state of your life, or maybe it's your inner life, not your outer life ( Read more... )

today as i was waiting for the bus after sleeping through my alarm and missing my usual bus i started to wonder if i am really capable of complex thought, built upon more than a couple of initial blocks. just like this post i will probably wander off into the woods, drifting in a soup of loose ideas. sure, we come up with things sometimes, like ( Read more... )