Some folks are damaged beyond repair. No amount of love I give that person will change their past or their outlook on the future. It took every boyfriend and guy I've cared about up until now to realize this. I'm sorry for those people, I really did think my love could change everything for them. I will no longer waste my feelings on people that ( Read more... )

Honestly you'd think I'd be more careful about making wishes ( Read more... )

A few months ago I started setting goals for myself. Realistic goals. I even came up with a monthly budget for those goals involving money/debt ( Read more... )

This Ryan nonsense has got to stop soon. It's the most bizarre obsession I've ever had. I don't think about him and of how happy I was with our relationship or how I can try to get him back. When I get to thinking about Ryan I try to figure out who he was/is ( Read more... )

I fell in love with LiveJournal when I could write without worrying about my audience. More than a decade later I find myself spending hours trying to find a one sentence update that said everything I was feeling without sounding dramatic or whiny ( Read more... )

I resent the feeling of being 15 years old and answering the question "where do you see yourself in ten years?." In hindsight, I can say that it was an absolutely absurd question for me to answer. At 15 I was still a child. I wasn't aware of disappointments, failures, rough roads and their alternate routes. I was aware of that day and maybe a few ( Read more... )

Right now I feel like walking slow motion down the street. Letting everything blur by me. I'll be in focus and focussing on what's ahead. We can't know yet.

I'm calling myself out right now. I've been seeking guys out for sex and/or relationships because I'm bored ( Read more... )

Last week I drove to Kent for you. I left work early and took time out of my schedule to do you a favor. You never said thank you. When I asked you to take me to the store for cigarettes or to fill out applications you made sure to let me know that I owed you. When you knew that I was in a spot where I had no choice but to depend on the family and ( Read more... )

Last week was long. Long and rough! I can't believe how much I've learned about myself.

I need to update with the details, but not right now. I'm busy.