after this full circle to, of all places, lj;
everything would stop being so effortlessly and definitely

( for you )

I wanna die with you.

It's not about me, it should never be, but I still can't shake the knowledge that, well, you knew me, more than anybody ever has and possibly ever will, and you knew me well enough to say that I am not worth it, that I am lacking somehow, that I could have been but am unfortunately not. That we could be friends but not really ( Read more... )

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

Into a dark tunnel that I've no desire to crawl through, that I see no clear reason to want to emerge from intact.

It's an interesting thing, the disintegration of will and passion and all the things you thought made up who you were. Because at the root of it all, you were probably unchanged. At the core of it, you are tonight what you were when ( Read more... )

I don't feel so complete right now.

My dreams are a mess, my love is I-don't-know-how, and, seriously? This is quite possibly the most lost I've been.

This trip was supposed to help me find myself. You know, because of the independence shiz. And what do I find? That I don't know. That, given the world's riches on a platter, I don't know what I ( Read more... )

I look at my schoolmates' facebook pages and I think about the choices that brought me here. Today it was a lot about student council- and organization- related stuff. Sometimes it's about helping out my high school more, sometimes it's about... oh, I don't know. This and that. Being more active in my parish. Getting to know the people in my ( Read more... )

Une.

02Aug08.

So this must be how getting better feels like.

In moderation but in full measure. Sounds nice. Theoretically. Sounds rather oxymoronic, too.

What do I know?

14Aug08.

I can't get over it. From thirty-ish meters away, they were not so wrinkly and pasty. They were adorable and squeal-worthy. Hee.

18Aug08.Nadal winning gold and ( Read more... )

when the only reason you aren't crying is because you haven't got any tears left.

That's just so f*cking messed up, don't you think?

Thing is, if I have to say it's fine - it probably really, really isn't.

Last Sunday, in mass (I think it was in mass), Mom told me that the polyps they found in dad's colon - those thingees they removed, they would be cancer.

Dad had asked: Oh, so I could have had cancer?
The doctor replied: No. You would have had it ( Read more... )