Hello. :D
Une.
02Aug08.
So this must be how getting better feels like.
In moderation but in full measure. Sounds nice. Theoretically. Sounds rather oxymoronic, too.
What do I know?
14Aug08.
I can't get over it. From thirty-ish meters away, they were not so wrinkly and pasty. They were adorable and squeal-worthy. Hee.
18Aug08.
Nadal winning gold and Phelps getting the eight he was going for makes me giddyhappy for them. I's proud of them, which proves even more how strange I am, since I did not care for either of them before last night.
Ahahaha. Click. XD
It's set, then. A third shot a Europe shot down. All because I'm slightlyscared of leaving the country without my parents. Oh well. Christmas at Japan sounds possibly lovelier.
25Aug08.
You're maybe the only thing I look forward to. There isn't much of a chance of anything, but at least it's something.
How we cope is as good as any other way because we hardly know better.
It feels heavy, almost worryingly so. Except the worry factor throws me off - is there really something amiss, or is it just anxiety? Lift the stones and breathe easy.
27Sept08.I see when men love women. They give them but a little of their lives.
But women when they love give everything.
I have said to you to speak the truth is a painful thing.
To be forced to tell lies is much worse.
What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
[on absinthe]
After the first glass, you see things as you wish they were.
After the second, you see things as they are not.
Finally you see things as they really are,
which is the most horrible thing in the world.
No man is rich enough to buy back his past.
Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.
Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about.
Oscar Wilde. :)
Because I saw some here.
These probably aren't completely true (might not even be at all), but it's nice. The words have a rhythm that I like.
01Oct08.
Mariel says I am allowed to like. Hee. But, oh, do I?
I sort of want to ask for a jacket. Or shirt, at least. Meh. Math makes me want most everything else.
Work, acquisition, work.
14Oct08.
Not having a helper has always made this place feel different. It's more tasking, for one. (Yes, I am spoiled like that.) But, lately, with everybody else doing more and more of their bit, this place has started to feel even more constricting.
With everything going around, with me doing not much, I feel useless. Like I am even more of a freeloader than I already was.
Me want to go back home.
26Oct08.
I don't want to be out of the running just yet. There must be a way to hold on. Right?
02Nov08.
My room might be done in a couple of weeks. It will be pink. And, sure, I'm not sure if I'll love that, but at least it won't be that impersonal white anymore. It won't look empty while it's new, dirty as time passes by.
Whether things are looking up or not is uncertain. Sometimes I think (realize?) that I'm just fooling myself, making me think that this is better than we were a few days ago. It's a bit sad, a bit stupid. But maybe it's better that I think this way - maybe it's necessary that I do.
Because if I realize (think?) that we're just spiraling down and out of control with each passing moment, I might give. I might stop dead. Why hold on when even that ledge you are clutching is dropping past ground level?
13Nov08.
I'd still love you if you were a man.
says the husband to his wife.
Or something. Because Karlo was talking about the top 10 from RX and Mariel and I agree that it'd be far sweeter if that were the entry. Mariel and I are together a lot - a bit too much, maybe. But I don't mind at all. Hee. <3
06Dec08.
We're getting closer and closer to leaving; getting more and more torn between not wanting any change in tradition and wanting to experience something new; getting less and less sleep with all the cramming of school and friends being done; getting frightened, stupidly anxious and pining for what will be left behind, of what will be missed;
we're getting bouncy, and excited, and happy whenever the prospect of what's to come presents itself; we're balking, waiting to break and hoping that we don't;
we're going - no ifs and buts about it, no maybes and might nots. And we will miss the festive Filipino Christmas, we will miss family and friends, but it will be worth it. Won't it? It has to be, and we will make it what it is.
Here's to the last week.
19Dec08.
Is it so wrong to change?
Such a stupid, useless question that would elicit numerous discussions and even more questions. No use thinking about it. And why do I have the urge to say thank You despite the... argh. Whatever.
So we're changing, becoming possibly worse than we were before. Who's to say they weren't just starting to expect more from us? Context Perspective is all.
05Jan09.
Breathing is a chore now, more evidently a conscious and voluntary action. When will it stop feeling like there is something being piled high upon me continuously, erratically?
Sometimes it's easier to just not, you know? Sometimes you think, what will happen, really, if you just choose to stop and take a break for a while? And you can't come up with a scenario that's any worse than what you already have, can't come up with any reason to take another breath in, let another one out.
31Jan09.
You know those rocks that weigh down on you and make it difficult to move, to breathe? Well right now they're stacked high around me everywhere, and they are falling, crumbling under their own height and sheer impossibility.
To make it not feel so bad, I think: where we are right now, who needs to breathe still? Who has the time to?
It's the least of our worries.
10Feb09.
Because the want to sleep comes during the lulls in between, the desire to eat isn't there when there's time for it, there's a report and almost nothing definite, a lesson that is not so much vague as it is easily lost, and, well, there are a lot of things that need to be done, but --
It's a beautiful day
Sky falls, you feel like
It's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
Beautiful Day, U2
Because there are a whole bunch of plays to be seen, a concert to attend, time to spare, responsibilities to be seen to, and, well, we're getting better at this for the time being and it is great.
1Mar09.
So I can't talk to them and I'm not sure if I'm really talking to you, but somehow things are getting by just fine.
You'll let me know when I've cracked and fallen apart, right?
I think that whenever one has anything unpleasant to say, one should always be quite candid.
- The Importance of Being Earnest, Oscar Wilde
And there you go. It's sad, that but it's what I can count on.
2Apr09.
That month (and the two before it) flew right past my fingertips. I don't think I ever wanted to really catch any of them.
I shall call him Squishy and he shall be mine and he shall be my Squishy.
- Dory, Finding Nemo
Be mine?
20May09.
I don't know and I don't know how to know, you know?
- April, Definitely, Maybe
Who knows?
I'm scared. Okay? So, so, very scared.
14Jun09.
Gah, dammit. A week and a half? I might not make it. A bit of schadenfreude anyone?
On a happier note, someone's missing more the I am (this isn't even valid, what with the different classworkloadcourse) my cousin bought a toy poodle for his girl friend and Oatmeal (or Granola, or Proteinbar, or Brown Sugar) is adorable.
Pepper's trying to be a mom, but Oatmeal got scared and snapped at her. Still, though. Adorable. :)
17Jun09.
You're still the easiest way to smile cry - heck, you this isn't easy at all, is it?
Seems I've been counting the days wrong. The 10 days would've included both the day of arrival and the day you return to class. Woot! Frickin' weird counting though.
08Jul09.
We were fated to pretend.
Time to Pretend | MGMT
10Aug09.
It's stupid (and ironic, and natural, and whatever), but I'm pretty certain that with each passing day I become more assured of what I have and more scared that I could lose it.
Then again, if I'm so scared something so flimsy can shatter this, maybe I should wait awhile. Or, screw it, just press enter before I can wear the thought out even more; before fringing turns to fraying.
25Aug09.
And it's maybe the only reason I don't break.
5Oct09.
By the time we get through
the world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame.
Hey There Delilah, Plain White T's
As if it were a bad thing, even with you going around breaking stuff. :x
3Nov09.
No such thing as jet lag. I sleep when I don't want to be awake.
12Jan10.
It's really something, being tired and worn out and swamped and still being able to smile because life is just beautiful like that.
Thanks<3
02Aug08.
So this must be how getting better feels like.
In moderation but in full measure. Sounds nice. Theoretically. Sounds rather oxymoronic, too.
What do I know?
14Aug08.
I can't get over it. From thirty-ish meters away, they were not so wrinkly and pasty. They were adorable and squeal-worthy. Hee.
18Aug08.
Nadal winning gold and Phelps getting the eight he was going for makes me giddyhappy for them. I's proud of them, which proves even more how strange I am, since I did not care for either of them before last night.
Ahahaha. Click. XD
It's set, then. A third shot a Europe shot down. All because I'm slightlyscared of leaving the country without my parents. Oh well. Christmas at Japan sounds possibly lovelier.
25Aug08.
You're maybe the only thing I look forward to. There isn't much of a chance of anything, but at least it's something.
How we cope is as good as any other way because we hardly know better.
It feels heavy, almost worryingly so. Except the worry factor throws me off - is there really something amiss, or is it just anxiety? Lift the stones and breathe easy.
27Sept08.I see when men love women. They give them but a little of their lives.
But women when they love give everything.
I have said to you to speak the truth is a painful thing.
To be forced to tell lies is much worse.
What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
[on absinthe]
After the first glass, you see things as you wish they were.
After the second, you see things as they are not.
Finally you see things as they really are,
which is the most horrible thing in the world.
No man is rich enough to buy back his past.
Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.
Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about.
Oscar Wilde. :)
Because I saw some here.
These probably aren't completely true (might not even be at all), but it's nice. The words have a rhythm that I like.
01Oct08.
Mariel says I am allowed to like. Hee. But, oh, do I?
I sort of want to ask for a jacket. Or shirt, at least. Meh. Math makes me want most everything else.
Work, acquisition, work.
14Oct08.
Not having a helper has always made this place feel different. It's more tasking, for one. (Yes, I am spoiled like that.) But, lately, with everybody else doing more and more of their bit, this place has started to feel even more constricting.
With everything going around, with me doing not much, I feel useless. Like I am even more of a freeloader than I already was.
Me want to go back home.
26Oct08.
I don't want to be out of the running just yet. There must be a way to hold on. Right?
02Nov08.
My room might be done in a couple of weeks. It will be pink. And, sure, I'm not sure if I'll love that, but at least it won't be that impersonal white anymore. It won't look empty while it's new, dirty as time passes by.
Whether things are looking up or not is uncertain. Sometimes I think (realize?) that I'm just fooling myself, making me think that this is better than we were a few days ago. It's a bit sad, a bit stupid. But maybe it's better that I think this way - maybe it's necessary that I do.
Because if I realize (think?) that we're just spiraling down and out of control with each passing moment, I might give. I might stop dead. Why hold on when even that ledge you are clutching is dropping past ground level?
13Nov08.
I'd still love you if you were a man.
says the husband to his wife.
Or something. Because Karlo was talking about the top 10 from RX and Mariel and I agree that it'd be far sweeter if that were the entry. Mariel and I are together a lot - a bit too much, maybe. But I don't mind at all. Hee. <3
06Dec08.
We're getting closer and closer to leaving; getting more and more torn between not wanting any change in tradition and wanting to experience something new; getting less and less sleep with all the cramming of school and friends being done; getting frightened, stupidly anxious and pining for what will be left behind, of what will be missed;
we're getting bouncy, and excited, and happy whenever the prospect of what's to come presents itself; we're balking, waiting to break and hoping that we don't;
we're going - no ifs and buts about it, no maybes and might nots. And we will miss the festive Filipino Christmas, we will miss family and friends, but it will be worth it. Won't it? It has to be, and we will make it what it is.
Here's to the last week.
19Dec08.
Is it so wrong to change?
Such a stupid, useless question that would elicit numerous discussions and even more questions. No use thinking about it. And why do I have the urge to say thank You despite the... argh. Whatever.
So we're changing, becoming possibly worse than we were before. Who's to say they weren't just starting to expect more from us? Context Perspective is all.
05Jan09.
Breathing is a chore now, more evidently a conscious and voluntary action. When will it stop feeling like there is something being piled high upon me continuously, erratically?
Sometimes it's easier to just not, you know? Sometimes you think, what will happen, really, if you just choose to stop and take a break for a while? And you can't come up with a scenario that's any worse than what you already have, can't come up with any reason to take another breath in, let another one out.
31Jan09.
You know those rocks that weigh down on you and make it difficult to move, to breathe? Well right now they're stacked high around me everywhere, and they are falling, crumbling under their own height and sheer impossibility.
To make it not feel so bad, I think: where we are right now, who needs to breathe still? Who has the time to?
It's the least of our worries.
10Feb09.
Because the want to sleep comes during the lulls in between, the desire to eat isn't there when there's time for it, there's a report and almost nothing definite, a lesson that is not so much vague as it is easily lost, and, well, there are a lot of things that need to be done, but --
It's a beautiful day
Sky falls, you feel like
It's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
Beautiful Day, U2
Because there are a whole bunch of plays to be seen, a concert to attend, time to spare, responsibilities to be seen to, and, well, we're getting better at this for the time being and it is great.
1Mar09.
So I can't talk to them and I'm not sure if I'm really talking to you, but somehow things are getting by just fine.
You'll let me know when I've cracked and fallen apart, right?
I think that whenever one has anything unpleasant to say, one should always be quite candid.
- The Importance of Being Earnest, Oscar Wilde
And there you go. It's sad, that but it's what I can count on.
2Apr09.
That month (and the two before it) flew right past my fingertips. I don't think I ever wanted to really catch any of them.
I shall call him Squishy and he shall be mine and he shall be my Squishy.
- Dory, Finding Nemo
Be mine?
20May09.
I don't know and I don't know how to know, you know?
- April, Definitely, Maybe
Who knows?
I'm scared. Okay? So, so, very scared.
14Jun09.
Gah, dammit. A week and a half? I might not make it. A bit of schadenfreude anyone?
On a happier note, someone's missing more the I am (this isn't even valid, what with the different classworkloadcourse) my cousin bought a toy poodle for his girl friend and Oatmeal (or Granola, or Proteinbar, or Brown Sugar) is adorable.
Pepper's trying to be a mom, but Oatmeal got scared and snapped at her. Still, though. Adorable. :)
17Jun09.
You're still the easiest way to smile cry - heck, you this isn't easy at all, is it?
Seems I've been counting the days wrong. The 10 days would've included both the day of arrival and the day you return to class. Woot! Frickin' weird counting though.
08Jul09.
We were fated to pretend.
Time to Pretend | MGMT
10Aug09.
It's stupid (and ironic, and natural, and whatever), but I'm pretty certain that with each passing day I become more assured of what I have and more scared that I could lose it.
Then again, if I'm so scared something so flimsy can shatter this, maybe I should wait awhile. Or, screw it, just press enter before I can wear the thought out even more; before fringing turns to fraying.
25Aug09.
And it's maybe the only reason I don't break.
5Oct09.
By the time we get through
the world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame.
Hey There Delilah, Plain White T's
As if it were a bad thing, even with you going around breaking stuff. :x
3Nov09.
No such thing as jet lag. I sleep when I don't want to be awake.
12Jan10.
It's really something, being tired and worn out and swamped and still being able to smile because life is just beautiful like that.
Thanks<3