Glee Fic : A Series of Moments | CrissColfer RPF | PG (see warnings), 9/10
Title : A Series of Moments (or how Chris and Darren made a dent for one person)
Author : Jen
Rating : PG
Series : Like a Satellite & Chasing Daylight
Word Count : ~4600
Warnings : mild homophobia, RPF...
Summary : Life is a series of moments. Some last for a moment, some last for a lifetime. These moments change and define us, they stick in our memories for the rest of our lives. Sometimes they are fleeting, seemingly insignificant but the consequences and effect they will have could last forever
Notes : so I apparently can't let go. These are a series of follow ups from the epic saga that began with nasonexyouswine's Gravity Thou Art A Heartless Bitch and ran through our dual narrative fic Like A Satellite & Chasing Daylight (link to part one).
A/N : I have to express my eternal gratitude to nasonexyouswine and turnthedarkness for their help with this part. They took my little idea and helped shape it into something that walks the fine line between our reality and the reality we should have.
There are ten parts and two "interlude" parts to this, charting what happens after.
Previous parts:
Moment 1 : how Chris and Darren finally started to talk to each other
Moment 2 : how Chris and Darren tried to spend as much time with each other as possible
The first interlude moment
Moment 3 : how Chris and Darren realised that this really was forever
Moment 4 : how Chris and Darren realised making assumptions wasn't always a bad thing
Moment 5 : how Chris and Darren realised things still weren't going to be easy
Moment 6 : how Chris and Darren kept a secret right until the last minute
The second interlude moment
Moment 7 : how Chris and Darren reached a new level in their relationship
Moment 8 : how Chris and Darren had their lives changed forever
If this were done by Disney then this is the point where the movie would end and the credits would sweep up and we would all file out of the cinema (or movie theatre) content in the knowledge that they would live happily ever after.
Darren, being a big Disney fan, would have loved to have held onto that belief for a little bit longer. Married to the love of his life, a beautiful little girl, his second album (which naturally had featured a duet with him and Chris) was doing well in the charts and so he was working on a third. Chris had been actually headhunted to work on developing a new teen drama for FOX which he was so excited about.
This would be the moment when anyone could have pointed at their life as an example of perfection.
It would be, if it weren't for the anonymous hate mail that was currently being placed into their letter box.
~~
They'd reported it, they were handing it over, doing everything they should be doing. Chris even suggested putting up a camera on their mailbox so they could catch the person doing it.
It might have actually worked had they not spotted them one morning, running off as they were yelled at, hood up and head down.
They did everything they could short of hiring someone to sit on their doorstep. Darren had vetoed that idea, saying they were not going to trap themselves in their home just because some idiot was shoving notes into their mailbox.
"I thought you were all about educating people," Darren said.
"And I am," Chris replied, shifting Katherine in his arms. "But that was before she came along. I will do whatever it takes to protect her - and you - from the idiots out there who are going to try and tell us that what we're doing is wrong."
"I don't think that whoever is leaving us these notes is in the same league as our doorstep screamer."
"I don't care," Chris said firmly. "They are trying to tell us that we're going to hell, that she's not going to have a good life."
"They haven't threatened us once..."
"It's still harassment. Look, love, I know you want to think the best of people but you and I both know that there are some very narrow minded people out there."
Darren said nothing in response to that. Besides - he had a plan.
~~
It was early when he slipped out of bed, sticking his head around Katy's door to check that she was still settled. The last few notes had been there first thing of a morning and so today he hoped to catch the person in action.
The notes weren't full of threats and vitriol and he'd started to suspect that the pleas for them to change their sinful ways and to spare Katherine a life of damnation was coming from a place of good motives. Chris hadn't seen it that way, it was just one more person trying to tell them that being in love was wrong, that having a family was wrong.
Darren, being Darren, wanted to give them a chance.
So he wrapped up warm and sat and waited, hidden from view so they wouldn't be scared off. It was cold in the pre-dawn hours and more than once he lost feeling in his fingers and toes but he waited all the same.
His fingers closed around two items in his hoodie top; a letter and his cell phone. He had considered the idea that the person leaving the notes may not be responsive to open debate and discussion. He wanted to give them a chance but not at the expense of his health.
He reassured himself that he was right in his reading of this person. There was no mention of violence or anger, just concern. It sounded like they wanted what was best for them, it was just the opinion of what was best for them that needed discussing.
More than once he debated going back inside for some kind of defensive weapon, just in case, but this presented itself with two dilemmas. Firstly he could miss them when inside. Secondly he had nowhere he could easily hide it and all too often a defensive weapon became an offensive weapon and the whole point of this was peaceful negotiations.
He thought of Chris, still warm and sleeping soundly in their bed, their daughter in the room next to theirs. Everything precious in his life was in that house and he wouldn't forgive himself if he didn't at least try to deal with this in a way that didn't foster anger and resentment. If this guy could be reasoned with, if Darren was right in his reading of them, then it would be one less person out there who was actively hating on same sex couples. And who knows what influence they might have?
The streets were quiet; every so often a car would go past the nearest intersection but no one was around. Darren hugged himself tightly, trying to stay warm, and realising that he should have brought a thermos of coffee to stop him from drifting off. He wondered about playing a quick game on his phone to keep his brain active but the light would attract the attention of anyone coming up to the house and the whole point of him sitting in the dark was to avoid that.
So he sat and he shivered a little and he kept himself awake by replaying moments with Katy in his head to remind him of why he was doing this. She was starting to move under her own steam now, not quite crawling but it was close. So of course they were mid-baby proofing the whole house and wondering if it was unethical to chip her in some way.
(Sally had warned them that as soon as Isaac could move under his own steam they had lost him in the apartment on more than one occasion. Chris and Darren had a whole fucking house to lose Katy in.)
After being outside for one hour and twenty three minutes he saw them, hood up and head down, jogging gently down the street. To anyone else it was yet another health-kick resident of LA out for a morning run.
As they came closer Darren could see the large envelope tucked into the pouch. They slowed to a walk, pulling it out and moving towards the mailbox.
"I'll take that if you want," Darren said quietly as the figure started to push it in.
They jumped slightly with a gasp, looking up at him in shock.
Then it was Darren's turn to be shocked at the girl's teenaged face looked back at him.
~~
She'd tried to run but he'd grabbed her arm, gently (because yeah, assault charges would not go down well) and asked her to stay and talk to him. She'd begged him not to call the cops and he'd repeated that all he wanted to do was talk, that was it.
Curious, wary and still a bit scared, she accepted his invitation to sit on the wall.
"So... why?" he asked.
"Why what?" she asked in return.
Darren held up this morning's envelope, still unopened. "You know this counts as harassment?"
"I just want to help," she blurted out. "I don't want you guys to suffer. I really like you and you do some really good work but you're making all the wrong choices and I don't want you to suffer for eternity because of them and mom says it's not too late..."
Darren stopped at the mention of the girl's mom, looking up at her panicked face. "Hey, hey, hey," he soothed.
"I was just trying to help."
"How does telling us that our daughter is going to hell help us?" he asked.
"She's not being exposed to the right influences," the girl mumbled, hands clasped nervously in her lap.
"Says who?"
"...The Bible."
"You know, I'm not sure where the passage is about a child being raised by a same sex couple is. Want to refresh my memory?"
She looked up at Darren quizzically.
"Look, I'm not about to jump all over your beliefs, OK? You can have whatever beliefs and opinions you want. But you have to realise that it's not OK to... shove them down someone else's throat. Or to harass people."
"My sister loved you in Glee," the girl said quietly. "She showed me the Potter musical and she listens to your albums all the time. I don't want you..."
"To suffer, I get it," Darren finished.
"Mom says all gays have just made bad choices and I thought that if I could get you to change your mind..."
Darren's attitude softened as more and more started to make sense. The comments had never seemed angry or hurtful to him before and now he knew why.
"Can I ask you something?" he ventured. "What do you believe?"
"I... I don't understand."
"You've said your mom believes this and thinks that. What do you think?"
She shrugged slightly.
"I was waiting for you this morning because I wanted to talk to you. Because reading over the things that you've said? I don't think you're a bad kid. I think you're trying to do what you think is the right thing."
"I saw you, at that drama school last month?" she said. "I..."
She stopped herself but Darren knew she was about to admit to being a student there.
"You talked about how you need to be able to change who you are, to become characters who could be a million miles away from who you are. I... Mom thinks that you're just being a character, that it's more Blaine than Darren..."
"You know, I was worried people would think that at first," Darren smiled reassuringly at her. "It's always something people say when actors who have played opposite each other romantically get together off screen. But it's honestly not like that. Blaine and I are very different people - for one he can sit still for five minutes. And trust me when I say that Chris is nothing like Kurt.
"With us... it just grew. We were friends, really good friends, when we were filming Glee and after that it just... grew. The more time we spent together as friends the more we realised we wanted more." He tilted a little to one side, shoving her gently with his shoulder. "I really did fall in love with my best friend and there's plenty of people out there who will tell you that's one of the best foundations for a relationship."
"But you were straight before..."
"Have you actually read anything written about me, the things I've said? You love a person, not a gender. It... It kinda doesn't matter to me that Chris is a guy. I love him for who he is, not what he is. I believe we're attracted to certain qualities or personalities or souls or whatever."
"You were with Sally though. In Chicago, she was your girlfriend."
"That's... complicated."
"You didn't love her?"
"Not in the way I should have done."
"And Nathan?"
"Nope. Chris is the only person I can imagine spending my life with. That's kinda why I married him."
The girl dropped her head again and Darren wondered if he'd imagined the tear dropping from her cheek. "Mom says you're not properly married. That it's supposed to be between a man and a woman."
"And what do you think?"
"I... don't know..."
"Can I show you something?" he asked, pulling out an envelope from his own hoodie. "This is a letter I got last week. It's from a kid, not much older than you I reckon."
I just wanted to let you know that you and Chris give me hope. I know I won't be able to run off to New York to get married the way that you did, but you being here in California, not afraid to stand up and be who you are? Maybe one day I'll be able to marry the person of my dreams in my own town and it won't matter what anyone else tells me. I'll stand up and say 'this is me, this is who I am and what I believe'.
"If this is a choice I'm making, that Chris is making," Darren said as she read the passage he indicated, "then it's one that thousands of people are making too. And accepting people means accepting the choices that they make, whether you agree with them or not.
"My mom for instance, she loves me no matter what. So long as I'm happy, she's happy. She taught me that I should be who I am and I should never have to apologise for that." He watched the girl for a second before asking, "So who are you?"
"...Molly," she replied.
"Nice to meet you, Molly. I'm Darren." He held out his hand for her to shake. "But I was actually wondering if you'd tell me something about yourself. Who are you?"
"Not sure what's to tell," she sighed. "I'm... Well, I'm doing drama but..."
"But what?"
"I wanna draw," she blurted out. "Mom says there's no money in drawing but in LA if you can act..."
"You any good?"
She nodded quickly.
"Why not try both?" he suggested. "Look at me. Music and acting, Chris is... well, OK, he's writing more at the moment but he's done acting alongside it too. You can't just put people into one box, one set of criteria."
"Yeah, but until someone notices my stuff then I'm not exactly going to get anywhere, am I? It's never what you know is it?"
"Hang in there, kid," he smiled. "If it's meant to be it'll be."
"I'm sorry," Molly said quickly, looking up at him. "For the notes I mean. I just... I was trying to do the right thing." She used the sleeves of her top to wipe away the tears that were filling up her eyes.
"I know," he smiled. "But do me a favour? Next time do something because it's what you think, not what someone else thinks. You've got your own mind, Molly, your own thoughts. It's OK for you to believe something different if that's what you want."
She nodded gently, pulling down her hood so she could look at him properly. "You love each other?"
"Completely."
"Then your girl is very lucky indeed."
"I happen to think so," Darren laughed, putting an arm around her for comfort.
"Everything OK here?"
The interruption of a third voice made them jump and they looked up to see a uniformed police officer standing in front of them. The car was parked just by the house, it had slid up quietly without alerting either of them.
"It's fine," Darren began.
"We had a call to say that the person leaving your notes was here," the officer said, looking at Molly who had frozen in fear.
"What? No," Darren said quickly. "I mean, this isn't her. Them."
"Care to explain why you're here, miss?"
"I..." she stammered, looking at Darren in a panic.
"She came to give me this," Darren said smoothly, picking up the letter from her lap. "She's a fan."
"Most people mail fan letters," the officer said.
"I live two blocks away," Molly said quietly in a way that Darren knew she was telling the truth "I come by this house on my morning run."
"I was out this morning, waiting to see if I could catch our mystery note writer. At first I thought it was her but..." He lifted up the top page and handed it over. "Clearly not."
The officer read the opening paragraphs and nodded. "Clearly."
"I think there's been some misunderstanding," Darren said as the page was handed back.
"Misunderstanding?"
Darren turned to see Chris coming out of the house, protectively holding Katherine.
"She's a fan," Darren said carefully.
"Right, well I'll leave you to it," the officer said. "If anything else does turn up..."
"Well so far nothing this morning. Maybe they're done?"
"Let's hope so," the officer smiled. "Sorry to have bothered you."
"It's fine."
"Dare, what's going on?" Chris asked as the car pulled away. "I see you out here talking to a kid in a hoodie which looks a hell of a lot like..."
"Chris, this is Molly. Molly, I think you know of Chris anyway."
Chris looked at the girl sat next to his husband, shame and tear filled eyes barely able to meet his. "It was you," he realised. "Darren!"
"I'm sorry," Molly blurted out. "I didn't mean to... I was just trying... I should go..." she said, getting to her feet and running off, ignoring Darren's calls after her.
"What?" Chris asked. "I'm missing something here."
"Yeah, you are," Darren said quietly. "Come inside, I'll explain everything."
~~
To his credit, Chris did listen. He held onto Katherine as if she were the only thing stopping him from getting up and throttling his idiot of a husband though.
"You had no idea who would be out there," he hissed.
"Yeah, I did. I told you those notes weren't full of hate."
"You got lucky, Darren. I could have got up this morning, wondering where you were, and found you lying out there with..." He stopped himself, a million horrific scenarios playing in his head. "People out there hate us and I thought you understood that. For pity's sake, that's why you ran off to Chicago!"
"I know," he replied, "and... I can't explain it, Chris. I knew that she wasn't going to be like the doorstep screamer, and I promise you I would have not said or done anything if they'd looked dangerous."
"What the hell does danger look like at four in the morning, Dare? Because to me it looks like a complete stranger whose entire belief system is built around hating us."
"But she doesn't," he pointed out.
Chris sighed, bouncing Katherine gently on his lap. "You're going to keep playing that card, aren't you?" he realised.
"I was right."
"You might not have been though."
"But I was."
"Dare, just think about it though. What if you hadn't been? Or what if today was the day that someone else decided to have a go? What if our doorstep screamer had come back? I need you to promise me that you're never, ever going to do anything like this again."
"Chris, I really think we can make a difference to Molly..."
Chris said nothing, just got out of his seat and handed Katherine over. Darren looked into her wide blue eyes, returning her grin as she made to grab onto her father, and he sighed. He knew Chris was right and he knew exactly what Chris was scared of.
"I promise," Darren said, not to his husband but their daughter, and Chris knew that he meant it. "But I do have one little, tiny favour to ask."
Why am I going to regret this?" Chris asked when Darren looked up at him.
Settling Katy onto his lap, Darren wrapped his arms around her and took a deep breath. "There's something that I need to do and I want you to come with me."
"This is not going to end well," Chris muttered, going to put on the coffee machine because he had a feeling that Darren was not going to let this one go.
~~
Tracking Molly down was easier than they thought it would be as Darren knew which school she attended. The two of them turned up one day under pretence of looking for people to star as extras in one of Chris' movies. As the principal led them down one of the hallways, Darren's eye was caught by a line drawing on the wall.
"This is amazing," he said.
"Done by one of our students," the principal beamed. "She asked if she could hang it up here. I think she's trying to break into the art world. Molly's good at drama and acting but it's not really her passion if you know what I mean."
"Yeah, I do," Chris said, unable to take his eyes off the picture.
It was only obvious if you knew it, but the house was definitely theirs and the couple standing outside it had enough hallmarks to be them. In their arms was a baby and the whole picture just screamed love and contentment.
"Have you got contact details for her?" Chris asked. "Only I think I know someone who could be able to help her."
Darren turned to look at Chris and smiled. This hadn't been part of their plan. They were going to come and talk to Molly, assure her everything was OK, that they weren't going to report her. The notes had indeed stopped and so everyone was considering the matter closed.
"Um..." the principal stammered.
~~
A week after that visit, Darren received a Tweet and link from one of his followers. Normally he didn't bother clicking on links but given the message that came with this one simply said "thank you" he suspected he knew who this was from.
So I met Darren Criss and Chris Colfer the other week and it really was a moment that changed my life.
First of all, I want to ask that you read the whole thing before you start hating on me. I want to be honest and that means telling you all of the bad stuff that I've done. I'm not proud of it but I promise it ends better!
See, when I met Darren it wasn't under the best of circumstances. I come from a pretty religious home, and Mom is one of those who believes that gays aren't... well... you know. And I'm sorry to say that I shared her beliefs a bit. It was fine watching actors play gay characters on TV as it wasn't real, but the day I found out Chris was gay in real life was a difficult one for me. How could someone who I admired so much be choosing a life of sin?
When Darren came out that broke my heart too. I felt I watching all these people who were amazing and brilliant and fantastic make all the wrong choices.
I'm not going to go into all the details because - to be honest with you - I'm actually pretty ashamed of myself. I'd let myself be convinced that they were going to hell, that their daughter had no chance at salvation.
Then I got to spend ten minutes with Darren and everything changed.
He actually listened to me, asked me questions about what I thought and why I thought them. Mom gets people telling her she's wrong to think and believe what she does and so I guess I'd just learned not to say what might be considered unpopular opinions. But he actually wanted to know. I was sitting there, basically condemning his whole life and family, and not once did he have a go at me for it, not once did he get angry at me.
And I listened to him too. We've all seen the interviews, we've heard them talk about each other. It's obvious that they're in love but I got to see that for myself. There's an image I have in my head of them stood with their little girl and they look as happy as any other new family I've seen at my church.
There's one phrase that I keep coming back to, one lesson I was taught really early on. When I was learning about confession and forgiveness I asked Mom why God forgave us when we did something wrong. She told me that above all else, God is love. He loves us and therefore He will never turn his back on us, the same way a parent could never turn their back on their child.
Chris and Darren love that little girl so much, and even though I only saw the three of them together for a moment it's something I can't get out of my head. I ended up drawing it and it's displayed in my school.
Which leads me on to the other reason for this post.
During my conversation with Darren I mentioned that I wanted to be an artist more than anything, but I needed to catch a break first. A couple of days after I'd spoken to him, my principal tells me that two guys came to the school and took an interest in my work. They asked for my details but he couldn't just hand them over. Two days after that I got a letter, sent to the school, from a designer who was looking for someone to do sketches and interpretations for clients. It's occasional work so I can fit it around school but it's what I want to do and it's getting me out there. My first client loved the sketch of their living room so much that it's framed and hanging in the room itself.
I have no doubt in my mind that those two men were Darren and Chris. My principal has refused to say either way but I know it. I know that these two men, who I judged without ever knowing them, have helped me when they didn't have to. I stood up and told them that they were sinners and they were wrong and in return they have shown me nothing but the utmost kindness and support.
I told Mom this the other day and we sat down and we talked about it. I know in the Bible it says a lot of things about gays but it also has one more powerful message (IMO). God is love and He is forgiveness. If you saw Chris and Darren with their daughter you would know what love is. So all I can do is pray for forgiveness for the judgements and decisions that I made, and pray for the strength to live the rest of my life doing right by everyone regardless.
I was told once that you can believe what you want, that you can have whatever opinion you want. I still believe in God, I still have my faith. But I'm now of the opinion that love is love in all its forms, and I have faith that whatever God's plan is for them it clearly makes them two of the happiest people I have ever had the fortune to see.
Chris looked up at Darren, his expression one of unmistakable pride. "OK, so maybe you were right not to report her."
"One person at a time, remember?" Darren said. "Besides, you were the one who got her set up with the designer."
"She's good," he shrugged, "and talent deserves a break."
"Think we'll hear from her again?"
"Who knows?" He glanced up as Katherine's cry drifted down from her room. "Your turn," he smiled, "I'll do the bottle."
Slipping into practiced routines Darren brought Katy down from her nap, taking the offered bottle and settling to feed her. After it was finished Chris took over, winding and then changing her. The two of them worked together in fluid motions, weaving in and out of their daughter's routine so that she always knew they were both there, that they both adored her.
It wasn't until later that night when Darren went to retrieve his glasses from the car that he noticed the poster tube propped up against their mailbox. When he brought it inside and opened it he found a professional print of the picture they'd seen in the school; the two of them and Katherine.
To my guardian angels, read the note on the back, with my love and respect - Molly.
"One person at a time," Darren said quietly to himself.
Author : Jen
Rating : PG
Series : Like a Satellite & Chasing Daylight
Word Count : ~4600
Warnings : mild homophobia, RPF...
Summary : Life is a series of moments. Some last for a moment, some last for a lifetime. These moments change and define us, they stick in our memories for the rest of our lives. Sometimes they are fleeting, seemingly insignificant but the consequences and effect they will have could last forever
Notes : so I apparently can't let go. These are a series of follow ups from the epic saga that began with nasonexyouswine's Gravity Thou Art A Heartless Bitch and ran through our dual narrative fic Like A Satellite & Chasing Daylight (link to part one).
A/N : I have to express my eternal gratitude to nasonexyouswine and turnthedarkness for their help with this part. They took my little idea and helped shape it into something that walks the fine line between our reality and the reality we should have.
There are ten parts and two "interlude" parts to this, charting what happens after.
Previous parts:
Moment 1 : how Chris and Darren finally started to talk to each other
Moment 2 : how Chris and Darren tried to spend as much time with each other as possible
The first interlude moment
Moment 3 : how Chris and Darren realised that this really was forever
Moment 4 : how Chris and Darren realised making assumptions wasn't always a bad thing
Moment 5 : how Chris and Darren realised things still weren't going to be easy
Moment 6 : how Chris and Darren kept a secret right until the last minute
The second interlude moment
Moment 7 : how Chris and Darren reached a new level in their relationship
Moment 8 : how Chris and Darren had their lives changed forever
If this were done by Disney then this is the point where the movie would end and the credits would sweep up and we would all file out of the cinema (or movie theatre) content in the knowledge that they would live happily ever after.
Darren, being a big Disney fan, would have loved to have held onto that belief for a little bit longer. Married to the love of his life, a beautiful little girl, his second album (which naturally had featured a duet with him and Chris) was doing well in the charts and so he was working on a third. Chris had been actually headhunted to work on developing a new teen drama for FOX which he was so excited about.
This would be the moment when anyone could have pointed at their life as an example of perfection.
It would be, if it weren't for the anonymous hate mail that was currently being placed into their letter box.
~~
They'd reported it, they were handing it over, doing everything they should be doing. Chris even suggested putting up a camera on their mailbox so they could catch the person doing it.
It might have actually worked had they not spotted them one morning, running off as they were yelled at, hood up and head down.
They did everything they could short of hiring someone to sit on their doorstep. Darren had vetoed that idea, saying they were not going to trap themselves in their home just because some idiot was shoving notes into their mailbox.
"I thought you were all about educating people," Darren said.
"And I am," Chris replied, shifting Katherine in his arms. "But that was before she came along. I will do whatever it takes to protect her - and you - from the idiots out there who are going to try and tell us that what we're doing is wrong."
"I don't think that whoever is leaving us these notes is in the same league as our doorstep screamer."
"I don't care," Chris said firmly. "They are trying to tell us that we're going to hell, that she's not going to have a good life."
"They haven't threatened us once..."
"It's still harassment. Look, love, I know you want to think the best of people but you and I both know that there are some very narrow minded people out there."
Darren said nothing in response to that. Besides - he had a plan.
~~
It was early when he slipped out of bed, sticking his head around Katy's door to check that she was still settled. The last few notes had been there first thing of a morning and so today he hoped to catch the person in action.
The notes weren't full of threats and vitriol and he'd started to suspect that the pleas for them to change their sinful ways and to spare Katherine a life of damnation was coming from a place of good motives. Chris hadn't seen it that way, it was just one more person trying to tell them that being in love was wrong, that having a family was wrong.
Darren, being Darren, wanted to give them a chance.
So he wrapped up warm and sat and waited, hidden from view so they wouldn't be scared off. It was cold in the pre-dawn hours and more than once he lost feeling in his fingers and toes but he waited all the same.
His fingers closed around two items in his hoodie top; a letter and his cell phone. He had considered the idea that the person leaving the notes may not be responsive to open debate and discussion. He wanted to give them a chance but not at the expense of his health.
He reassured himself that he was right in his reading of this person. There was no mention of violence or anger, just concern. It sounded like they wanted what was best for them, it was just the opinion of what was best for them that needed discussing.
More than once he debated going back inside for some kind of defensive weapon, just in case, but this presented itself with two dilemmas. Firstly he could miss them when inside. Secondly he had nowhere he could easily hide it and all too often a defensive weapon became an offensive weapon and the whole point of this was peaceful negotiations.
He thought of Chris, still warm and sleeping soundly in their bed, their daughter in the room next to theirs. Everything precious in his life was in that house and he wouldn't forgive himself if he didn't at least try to deal with this in a way that didn't foster anger and resentment. If this guy could be reasoned with, if Darren was right in his reading of them, then it would be one less person out there who was actively hating on same sex couples. And who knows what influence they might have?
The streets were quiet; every so often a car would go past the nearest intersection but no one was around. Darren hugged himself tightly, trying to stay warm, and realising that he should have brought a thermos of coffee to stop him from drifting off. He wondered about playing a quick game on his phone to keep his brain active but the light would attract the attention of anyone coming up to the house and the whole point of him sitting in the dark was to avoid that.
So he sat and he shivered a little and he kept himself awake by replaying moments with Katy in his head to remind him of why he was doing this. She was starting to move under her own steam now, not quite crawling but it was close. So of course they were mid-baby proofing the whole house and wondering if it was unethical to chip her in some way.
(Sally had warned them that as soon as Isaac could move under his own steam they had lost him in the apartment on more than one occasion. Chris and Darren had a whole fucking house to lose Katy in.)
After being outside for one hour and twenty three minutes he saw them, hood up and head down, jogging gently down the street. To anyone else it was yet another health-kick resident of LA out for a morning run.
As they came closer Darren could see the large envelope tucked into the pouch. They slowed to a walk, pulling it out and moving towards the mailbox.
"I'll take that if you want," Darren said quietly as the figure started to push it in.
They jumped slightly with a gasp, looking up at him in shock.
Then it was Darren's turn to be shocked at the girl's teenaged face looked back at him.
~~
She'd tried to run but he'd grabbed her arm, gently (because yeah, assault charges would not go down well) and asked her to stay and talk to him. She'd begged him not to call the cops and he'd repeated that all he wanted to do was talk, that was it.
Curious, wary and still a bit scared, she accepted his invitation to sit on the wall.
"So... why?" he asked.
"Why what?" she asked in return.
Darren held up this morning's envelope, still unopened. "You know this counts as harassment?"
"I just want to help," she blurted out. "I don't want you guys to suffer. I really like you and you do some really good work but you're making all the wrong choices and I don't want you to suffer for eternity because of them and mom says it's not too late..."
Darren stopped at the mention of the girl's mom, looking up at her panicked face. "Hey, hey, hey," he soothed.
"I was just trying to help."
"How does telling us that our daughter is going to hell help us?" he asked.
"She's not being exposed to the right influences," the girl mumbled, hands clasped nervously in her lap.
"Says who?"
"...The Bible."
"You know, I'm not sure where the passage is about a child being raised by a same sex couple is. Want to refresh my memory?"
She looked up at Darren quizzically.
"Look, I'm not about to jump all over your beliefs, OK? You can have whatever beliefs and opinions you want. But you have to realise that it's not OK to... shove them down someone else's throat. Or to harass people."
"My sister loved you in Glee," the girl said quietly. "She showed me the Potter musical and she listens to your albums all the time. I don't want you..."
"To suffer, I get it," Darren finished.
"Mom says all gays have just made bad choices and I thought that if I could get you to change your mind..."
Darren's attitude softened as more and more started to make sense. The comments had never seemed angry or hurtful to him before and now he knew why.
"Can I ask you something?" he ventured. "What do you believe?"
"I... I don't understand."
"You've said your mom believes this and thinks that. What do you think?"
She shrugged slightly.
"I was waiting for you this morning because I wanted to talk to you. Because reading over the things that you've said? I don't think you're a bad kid. I think you're trying to do what you think is the right thing."
"I saw you, at that drama school last month?" she said. "I..."
She stopped herself but Darren knew she was about to admit to being a student there.
"You talked about how you need to be able to change who you are, to become characters who could be a million miles away from who you are. I... Mom thinks that you're just being a character, that it's more Blaine than Darren..."
"You know, I was worried people would think that at first," Darren smiled reassuringly at her. "It's always something people say when actors who have played opposite each other romantically get together off screen. But it's honestly not like that. Blaine and I are very different people - for one he can sit still for five minutes. And trust me when I say that Chris is nothing like Kurt.
"With us... it just grew. We were friends, really good friends, when we were filming Glee and after that it just... grew. The more time we spent together as friends the more we realised we wanted more." He tilted a little to one side, shoving her gently with his shoulder. "I really did fall in love with my best friend and there's plenty of people out there who will tell you that's one of the best foundations for a relationship."
"But you were straight before..."
"Have you actually read anything written about me, the things I've said? You love a person, not a gender. It... It kinda doesn't matter to me that Chris is a guy. I love him for who he is, not what he is. I believe we're attracted to certain qualities or personalities or souls or whatever."
"You were with Sally though. In Chicago, she was your girlfriend."
"That's... complicated."
"You didn't love her?"
"Not in the way I should have done."
"And Nathan?"
"Nope. Chris is the only person I can imagine spending my life with. That's kinda why I married him."
The girl dropped her head again and Darren wondered if he'd imagined the tear dropping from her cheek. "Mom says you're not properly married. That it's supposed to be between a man and a woman."
"And what do you think?"
"I... don't know..."
"Can I show you something?" he asked, pulling out an envelope from his own hoodie. "This is a letter I got last week. It's from a kid, not much older than you I reckon."
I just wanted to let you know that you and Chris give me hope. I know I won't be able to run off to New York to get married the way that you did, but you being here in California, not afraid to stand up and be who you are? Maybe one day I'll be able to marry the person of my dreams in my own town and it won't matter what anyone else tells me. I'll stand up and say 'this is me, this is who I am and what I believe'.
"If this is a choice I'm making, that Chris is making," Darren said as she read the passage he indicated, "then it's one that thousands of people are making too. And accepting people means accepting the choices that they make, whether you agree with them or not.
"My mom for instance, she loves me no matter what. So long as I'm happy, she's happy. She taught me that I should be who I am and I should never have to apologise for that." He watched the girl for a second before asking, "So who are you?"
"...Molly," she replied.
"Nice to meet you, Molly. I'm Darren." He held out his hand for her to shake. "But I was actually wondering if you'd tell me something about yourself. Who are you?"
"Not sure what's to tell," she sighed. "I'm... Well, I'm doing drama but..."
"But what?"
"I wanna draw," she blurted out. "Mom says there's no money in drawing but in LA if you can act..."
"You any good?"
She nodded quickly.
"Why not try both?" he suggested. "Look at me. Music and acting, Chris is... well, OK, he's writing more at the moment but he's done acting alongside it too. You can't just put people into one box, one set of criteria."
"Yeah, but until someone notices my stuff then I'm not exactly going to get anywhere, am I? It's never what you know is it?"
"Hang in there, kid," he smiled. "If it's meant to be it'll be."
"I'm sorry," Molly said quickly, looking up at him. "For the notes I mean. I just... I was trying to do the right thing." She used the sleeves of her top to wipe away the tears that were filling up her eyes.
"I know," he smiled. "But do me a favour? Next time do something because it's what you think, not what someone else thinks. You've got your own mind, Molly, your own thoughts. It's OK for you to believe something different if that's what you want."
She nodded gently, pulling down her hood so she could look at him properly. "You love each other?"
"Completely."
"Then your girl is very lucky indeed."
"I happen to think so," Darren laughed, putting an arm around her for comfort.
"Everything OK here?"
The interruption of a third voice made them jump and they looked up to see a uniformed police officer standing in front of them. The car was parked just by the house, it had slid up quietly without alerting either of them.
"It's fine," Darren began.
"We had a call to say that the person leaving your notes was here," the officer said, looking at Molly who had frozen in fear.
"What? No," Darren said quickly. "I mean, this isn't her. Them."
"Care to explain why you're here, miss?"
"I..." she stammered, looking at Darren in a panic.
"She came to give me this," Darren said smoothly, picking up the letter from her lap. "She's a fan."
"Most people mail fan letters," the officer said.
"I live two blocks away," Molly said quietly in a way that Darren knew she was telling the truth "I come by this house on my morning run."
"I was out this morning, waiting to see if I could catch our mystery note writer. At first I thought it was her but..." He lifted up the top page and handed it over. "Clearly not."
The officer read the opening paragraphs and nodded. "Clearly."
"I think there's been some misunderstanding," Darren said as the page was handed back.
"Misunderstanding?"
Darren turned to see Chris coming out of the house, protectively holding Katherine.
"She's a fan," Darren said carefully.
"Right, well I'll leave you to it," the officer said. "If anything else does turn up..."
"Well so far nothing this morning. Maybe they're done?"
"Let's hope so," the officer smiled. "Sorry to have bothered you."
"It's fine."
"Dare, what's going on?" Chris asked as the car pulled away. "I see you out here talking to a kid in a hoodie which looks a hell of a lot like..."
"Chris, this is Molly. Molly, I think you know of Chris anyway."
Chris looked at the girl sat next to his husband, shame and tear filled eyes barely able to meet his. "It was you," he realised. "Darren!"
"I'm sorry," Molly blurted out. "I didn't mean to... I was just trying... I should go..." she said, getting to her feet and running off, ignoring Darren's calls after her.
"What?" Chris asked. "I'm missing something here."
"Yeah, you are," Darren said quietly. "Come inside, I'll explain everything."
~~
To his credit, Chris did listen. He held onto Katherine as if she were the only thing stopping him from getting up and throttling his idiot of a husband though.
"You had no idea who would be out there," he hissed.
"Yeah, I did. I told you those notes weren't full of hate."
"You got lucky, Darren. I could have got up this morning, wondering where you were, and found you lying out there with..." He stopped himself, a million horrific scenarios playing in his head. "People out there hate us and I thought you understood that. For pity's sake, that's why you ran off to Chicago!"
"I know," he replied, "and... I can't explain it, Chris. I knew that she wasn't going to be like the doorstep screamer, and I promise you I would have not said or done anything if they'd looked dangerous."
"What the hell does danger look like at four in the morning, Dare? Because to me it looks like a complete stranger whose entire belief system is built around hating us."
"But she doesn't," he pointed out.
Chris sighed, bouncing Katherine gently on his lap. "You're going to keep playing that card, aren't you?" he realised.
"I was right."
"You might not have been though."
"But I was."
"Dare, just think about it though. What if you hadn't been? Or what if today was the day that someone else decided to have a go? What if our doorstep screamer had come back? I need you to promise me that you're never, ever going to do anything like this again."
"Chris, I really think we can make a difference to Molly..."
Chris said nothing, just got out of his seat and handed Katherine over. Darren looked into her wide blue eyes, returning her grin as she made to grab onto her father, and he sighed. He knew Chris was right and he knew exactly what Chris was scared of.
"I promise," Darren said, not to his husband but their daughter, and Chris knew that he meant it. "But I do have one little, tiny favour to ask."
Why am I going to regret this?" Chris asked when Darren looked up at him.
Settling Katy onto his lap, Darren wrapped his arms around her and took a deep breath. "There's something that I need to do and I want you to come with me."
"This is not going to end well," Chris muttered, going to put on the coffee machine because he had a feeling that Darren was not going to let this one go.
~~
Tracking Molly down was easier than they thought it would be as Darren knew which school she attended. The two of them turned up one day under pretence of looking for people to star as extras in one of Chris' movies. As the principal led them down one of the hallways, Darren's eye was caught by a line drawing on the wall.
"This is amazing," he said.
"Done by one of our students," the principal beamed. "She asked if she could hang it up here. I think she's trying to break into the art world. Molly's good at drama and acting but it's not really her passion if you know what I mean."
"Yeah, I do," Chris said, unable to take his eyes off the picture.
It was only obvious if you knew it, but the house was definitely theirs and the couple standing outside it had enough hallmarks to be them. In their arms was a baby and the whole picture just screamed love and contentment.
"Have you got contact details for her?" Chris asked. "Only I think I know someone who could be able to help her."
Darren turned to look at Chris and smiled. This hadn't been part of their plan. They were going to come and talk to Molly, assure her everything was OK, that they weren't going to report her. The notes had indeed stopped and so everyone was considering the matter closed.
"Um..." the principal stammered.
~~
A week after that visit, Darren received a Tweet and link from one of his followers. Normally he didn't bother clicking on links but given the message that came with this one simply said "thank you" he suspected he knew who this was from.
So I met Darren Criss and Chris Colfer the other week and it really was a moment that changed my life.
First of all, I want to ask that you read the whole thing before you start hating on me. I want to be honest and that means telling you all of the bad stuff that I've done. I'm not proud of it but I promise it ends better!
See, when I met Darren it wasn't under the best of circumstances. I come from a pretty religious home, and Mom is one of those who believes that gays aren't... well... you know. And I'm sorry to say that I shared her beliefs a bit. It was fine watching actors play gay characters on TV as it wasn't real, but the day I found out Chris was gay in real life was a difficult one for me. How could someone who I admired so much be choosing a life of sin?
When Darren came out that broke my heart too. I felt I watching all these people who were amazing and brilliant and fantastic make all the wrong choices.
I'm not going to go into all the details because - to be honest with you - I'm actually pretty ashamed of myself. I'd let myself be convinced that they were going to hell, that their daughter had no chance at salvation.
Then I got to spend ten minutes with Darren and everything changed.
He actually listened to me, asked me questions about what I thought and why I thought them. Mom gets people telling her she's wrong to think and believe what she does and so I guess I'd just learned not to say what might be considered unpopular opinions. But he actually wanted to know. I was sitting there, basically condemning his whole life and family, and not once did he have a go at me for it, not once did he get angry at me.
And I listened to him too. We've all seen the interviews, we've heard them talk about each other. It's obvious that they're in love but I got to see that for myself. There's an image I have in my head of them stood with their little girl and they look as happy as any other new family I've seen at my church.
There's one phrase that I keep coming back to, one lesson I was taught really early on. When I was learning about confession and forgiveness I asked Mom why God forgave us when we did something wrong. She told me that above all else, God is love. He loves us and therefore He will never turn his back on us, the same way a parent could never turn their back on their child.
Chris and Darren love that little girl so much, and even though I only saw the three of them together for a moment it's something I can't get out of my head. I ended up drawing it and it's displayed in my school.
Which leads me on to the other reason for this post.
During my conversation with Darren I mentioned that I wanted to be an artist more than anything, but I needed to catch a break first. A couple of days after I'd spoken to him, my principal tells me that two guys came to the school and took an interest in my work. They asked for my details but he couldn't just hand them over. Two days after that I got a letter, sent to the school, from a designer who was looking for someone to do sketches and interpretations for clients. It's occasional work so I can fit it around school but it's what I want to do and it's getting me out there. My first client loved the sketch of their living room so much that it's framed and hanging in the room itself.
I have no doubt in my mind that those two men were Darren and Chris. My principal has refused to say either way but I know it. I know that these two men, who I judged without ever knowing them, have helped me when they didn't have to. I stood up and told them that they were sinners and they were wrong and in return they have shown me nothing but the utmost kindness and support.
I told Mom this the other day and we sat down and we talked about it. I know in the Bible it says a lot of things about gays but it also has one more powerful message (IMO). God is love and He is forgiveness. If you saw Chris and Darren with their daughter you would know what love is. So all I can do is pray for forgiveness for the judgements and decisions that I made, and pray for the strength to live the rest of my life doing right by everyone regardless.
I was told once that you can believe what you want, that you can have whatever opinion you want. I still believe in God, I still have my faith. But I'm now of the opinion that love is love in all its forms, and I have faith that whatever God's plan is for them it clearly makes them two of the happiest people I have ever had the fortune to see.
Chris looked up at Darren, his expression one of unmistakable pride. "OK, so maybe you were right not to report her."
"One person at a time, remember?" Darren said. "Besides, you were the one who got her set up with the designer."
"She's good," he shrugged, "and talent deserves a break."
"Think we'll hear from her again?"
"Who knows?" He glanced up as Katherine's cry drifted down from her room. "Your turn," he smiled, "I'll do the bottle."
Slipping into practiced routines Darren brought Katy down from her nap, taking the offered bottle and settling to feed her. After it was finished Chris took over, winding and then changing her. The two of them worked together in fluid motions, weaving in and out of their daughter's routine so that she always knew they were both there, that they both adored her.
It wasn't until later that night when Darren went to retrieve his glasses from the car that he noticed the poster tube propped up against their mailbox. When he brought it inside and opened it he found a professional print of the picture they'd seen in the school; the two of them and Katherine.
To my guardian angels, read the note on the back, with my love and respect - Molly.
"One person at a time," Darren said quietly to himself.