Glee Fic : A Series of Moments | CrissColfer RPF | PG-13, 5/10
Title : A Series of Moments (or how Chris and Darren realised things still weren't going to be easy)
Author : Jen
Rating : PG-13 for some naughty words
Series : Like a Satellite & Chasing Daylight
Word Count : ~3700
Warnings : allusion to some naughty stuff, RPF...
Summary : Life is a series of moments. Some last for a moment, some last for a lifetime. These moments change and define us, they stick in our memories for the rest of our lives. Sometimes they are fleeting, seemingly insignificant but the consequences and effect they will have could last forever
Notes : so I apparently can't let go. These are a series of follow ups from the epic saga that began with nasonexyouswine's Gravity Thou Art A Heartless Bitch and ran through our dual narrative fic Like A Satellite & Chasing Daylight (link to part one).
There are ten parts and two "interlude" parts to this, charting what happens after.
A/N the first - am posting two moments today as moment 4 was short and sweet.
A/N the second - this part is dedicated to my gal, turnthedarkness. You make me feel epic old but you always put a smile on my face with your comments and messages and emails. So thank you for letting me honour you in this way!
Previous parts:
Moment 1 : how Chris and Darren finally started to talk to each other
Moment 2 : how Chris and Darren tried to spend as much time with each other as possible
The first interlude moment
Moment 3 : how Chris and Darren realised that this really was forever
Moment 4 : how Chris and Darren realised making assumptions wasn't always a bad thing
Just breathe, Chris. Just... breathe. They are Darren's friends, they are your friends now. They are here to help him move in. Just... breathe.
As Jack stumbled into yet another side unit Chris repeated this over and over like a mantra, resisting the urge to grab him and throw him out.
"It could be worse," came a low voice from behind him as a pair of arms slipped around his waist. "Alex could have come too."
Chris had to laugh because Darren was right. God only knows what carnage would be happening if Alex hadn't cancelled on them last night.
"Where'd you want this?" Jack asked, staggering through the door with another box.
"What does it say on the box?" Sally snapped. "Office. So put it in the fucking office."
Darren and Chris stilled, right along with Jack who nodded carefully and started to climb the stairs.
"Sal?" Darren ventured.
"I'm fine," she snapped, turning on her heel and heading out onto the balcony.
Darren kissed the side of Chris' neck briefly before following his friend outside. "You are not fine, Sal."
"I'm pregnant," she blurted out. No warning, no preamble, he wasn't even sure when she took the breath to say it. "At least, I think I am."
"OK."
"And god, Jack... He can barely look after himself and I'm supposed to have a kid with him? Two weeks ago I thought I had a stomach bug and so I spent the day curled up in bed. When I finally ventured out the next morning the apartment looked like a bomb had hit it. I'm not kidding, Dare. It was a mess - even your old room!
"He'd ordered pizza because he couldn't be bothered to cook the food we had in, he left boxes and bottles all over the place because he couldn't be bothered to empty the trash, the laundry that needed doing was still in a heap... Looking after him is a full time job and I'm terrified that with a baby it's going to be so much worse.
"And it's not that he's not going to be a good dad. I know he will be. And I had thought about it before... I have known for a long time that Jack's the guy I'm going to marry and have kids with. I guess I thought the wedding would come first, y'know?
"And god, how traditional does that make me? As if having a child out of wedlock is some big sin these days. Mom loves kids, she loves Jack... God help me, she even approves. She'd be thrilled at being a grandmother. I thought that I'd have time to... I don't know, train him. Get him to spend time with my neice first maybe.
"But we've never talked about it. Me and Jack. Not once have we talked about the future - not like you and Chris. That's why I know you two are going to work. Jack and I... Oh god," she sighed, leaning forward and putting her head on the railing.
Darren resisted the urge to laugh at her ramblings and he put a reassuring hand on her back. "OK, first things first. Let's find out if you are..."
"Pregnant," she muttered into the wooden bar. "Can't you stay in Chicago? Get Chris to move up there? Please don't leave me alone with Jack."
"Sal," he said with a soft laugh. "Look, I'll go and buy the test if you want."
"There's one in my bag. I've been carrying it around for two weeks."
"So what are you waiting for?"
"I don't wanna know."
"Go!" Darren ordered, putting his hands on her shoulders and steering her back into the house. They paused to pick up her bag before Darren half-pushed her towards the downstairs restroom. "I will come in there with you if you don't..."
"Fine!" Sally replied, wrenching herself free of his loose grasp and shutting the door behind her.
Darren stepped back to give a little bit of privacy (listening to your pseudo-ex girlfriend and best friend pee was a bit weird) and smiled gently as Chris joined him.
"Everything OK?" he asked.
"Not sure," Darren replied.
"What's up? She OK?"
"We'll find out in a bit."
They waited for a few minutes before Sally came out, test in hand. Darren looked at her face and he knew, holding out a hand to her. She took it gratefully, letting him pull her into a hug.
"It's gonna be OK," Darren whispered.
"I'm scared."
"I know. But it's still gonna be OK."
"What will be?" Jack asked, returning from the van with another box to find his girlfriend in the arms of someone else.
Sally disentangled herself from Darren and pulled Jack outside.
"She's pregnant," Darren explained.
"Not good?" Chris asked.
"Unexpected," Darren clarified. "But wanted I reckon. They'll be fine."
As if to prove his point they heard Jack's shout of absolute joy and Sally's laughter coming from just outside the front door, and Sally's squeal of "put me down" told them exactly what Jack's reaction had been to the news.
"See?" Darren said, slipping his arms back around Chris' waist. "Just think. That could be us celebrating that one day."
Chris gave a gentle laugh. "Not likely," he said lightly. "Kid free zone me. Like 'em, even love 'em on occasion, but not for me thanks. But I'm sure we'll have other celebrations," he whispered low, turning his head to press a kiss on Darren's cheek.
As he walked away to move some boxes he didn't notice the frozen look on Darren's face.
Wait... what?
~~
The boxes were unloaded from the van and placed into their appropriate rooms. Darren immediately called dibs on not taking it back to the depot; driving it down from Chicago with Chris over the last few weeks, while fun, meant he was not keen to get behind the wheel any time soon.
They'd taken the decision to move themselves not wanting to draw attention to Darren's return to LA and, more to the point, him moving into Chris' home. Their home. So after Darren had wrapped with Evelyn for the last time (and god the fans were going to hate that cliff-hanger!) he and Chris had loaded his things into a van and taken a two week road trip from Chicago to LA. A two thousand mile road trip and they had taken time to celebrate their new life and each other every step of the way.
(What happened in Vegas was staying in Vegas though...)
Now, after Jack and Sally left with the van to head to their hotel, Darren was beginning to wonder how he could spend two weeks next to this man, spend two weeks sleeping beside and with this man, have known him for two years, and yet somehow not known something so fundamental about him.
~~
Ashley had arranged for dinner to be brought to them that night from "that new posh place" as she termed it. Three courses of fine dining delivered to their door for what was supposed to be a romantic first meal.
Instead Darren picked miserably at his food until Chris demanded to know what was wrong.
"You don't want kids," Darren told him.
"No, I... I thought you knew that."
"Nope."
"Darren..." Chris said, putting down his cutlery and getting up from his seat. "Dare..."
"I shouldn't have assumed... It's fine. I'll get over it."
"Get over it?" Chris whispered, moving towards him. "Dare... You want kids... You want a family. I don't. How do we get over that?" He crouched down beside Darren, trying to meet his downcast eye.
"I..." Darren began, finally looking at Chris. "I don't know."
"We should have talked about this before. I'm so sorry..."
"Can we... can we talk now?" Darren asked. "I mean... why...?"
Chris gave a small shrug. "It's just... not something I ever thought about. Not something I ever saw myself doing. I like kids fine, but when they're someone else's."
"But they won't be someone else's."
"Unless there's something you're not telling me, yeah, they will be," Chris attempted to joke. "Right before I moved to LA for Glee my aunt came to stay with us, bringing my six month old cousin with her. And I adored that kid, I still do. I loved looking after him, keeping him amused... But I was always glad to give him back at the end of the day. And I do not do well at being woken up in the middle of the night - as you well know."
"I always thought that... That it would be different somehow. If it was ours?"
"I don't feel that way, I'm sorry."
"So that's it? It's not even an option for later consideration?"
"Is this... Is this a deal breaker?" Chris whispered softly, almost afraid of the answer.
"I honestly don't know."
"I love you."
"I love you back," Darren replied with all the sincerity he could muster and he tried to convince himself that it was enough.
~~
He still slept on the couch that night.
Well, slept would be overstating it. Darren stared at the ceiling above his head, the floor of what was now supposed to be their room and instead he was wondering if the relationship was over before it had really begun.
How could he not have known? How could he have built a whole life with Chris in his head and not known? This was class 101 stuff. Favourite food, colour, stance on kids. The kind of stuff that could make or break a relationship.
If they let it.
Somewhere around one in the morning Darren had picked up his phone and thumbed through his contacts, wondering who he could speak to about this. Most of them were too close to him and Chris for something this personal, or they weren't close enough. And anyone he could think of would be asleep right now. As he went past one name though he stopped, and for the first time in ten years he understood what she'd meant when she'd told him about the defining moment in her marriage.
~~
It was just after three when he heard Chris on the stairs. He sat up and looked over, immediately catching his gaze. Without saying a word Chris joined him on the couch and they sat, side by side, touching from hip to knee the same way they had that afternoon on the balcony.
"Mom's got these friends," Darren said quietly in the darkness, "known them since before I was born. Lovely couple, think she was matron of honour at their wedding. Anyway, they started trying for kids right from the word go. They wanted them, they didn't want to wait. Trying for a whole soccer team I think!
"Anyway, after four years of trying and nothing they go to the doctor's. Turns out they're one of those couples who just struggles. No reason for it. So they save up and they try IVF and every other remedy and trick and concoction that they can.
"On their tenth wedding anniversary she tells my mom that they're not trying any more. It's clearly not meant to be and that was that. Of course Mom asks about adoption and she points out that for the last ten years they have had nothing but stress and worry and trying to make sure the other is OK with this. They had every step of their life dictated to them because they were trying to have a baby and there were times when it nearly destroyed them.
"So they were stopping. They were going to be the best aunt and uncle ever, and by that time Mom's got all of us running about the place so she kinda adopted us. And half the neighbourhood. We all knew where we could go if we were in trouble or if we were hungry or if we were locked out. They were so happy together, married almost twenty years now."
"And let me guess. The second they gave up that's when she fell pregnant?" Chris interjected.
"Nope. No kids. This isn't that kind of a story. But I asked her, once, why they never had any. She told me that it wasn't meant to be, that she and her husband just couldn't have them together. At one point he even offered to let her go find someone she could have kids with, and you know what she told him?
"She said, 'I want you. I want to spend my life with you. Anything else I get in addition to that is a bonus'. I never fully understood what she meant until tonight." Darren turned on the couch so he was looking at Chris' profile. "I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."
"Yeah, but you wanting kids isn't going to go away," Chris said, not looking at him. "And it's not as if we can turn our house into some halfway home for the neighbourhood, is it?"
"I'm not suggesting we do," Darren replied. "But tonight made me realise one thing."
"What's that?" Chris asked, finally turning his head to look at Darren.
"I don't want kids in the abstract. I want them with you. I'd want to raise a family with you. And it would be a bonus."
"Darren..."
"I hated my life when you weren't in it. I coped since September because I knew, no matter what else was going on, that I had you. I may not have been with you but I had you." He grabbed Chris' hand and pressed it to his chest. "And I'm not letting you go for anything."
"But kids..."
"Our kids," he corrected. "You meet and you fall in love with the person that you want to raise a family with. You don't just go out and find someone to 'do the job with'," he said. "Well, not normally. I certainly wouldn't."
"You're sure about this," Chris breathed, "because this is too big, Dare. If there's even a chance that you..."
Darren answered him with a kiss, just the firm pressure at first, letting him know that yes - he was sure. When they parted he rested their foreheads together.
"I want you, Chris," he said quietly, "I need you. Anything else would be a bonus."
"This isn't a bonus situation though," Chris said, his voice shaking. "This is... People want kids. This isn't like wanting steak for dinner but finding out it's not on the menu any more. This is... This is wanting to be with someone and not having them."
"Been there, done that," Darren replied. "We both have. And I'm not going back there again."
"It's not that simple."
"Yeah, it is. I have a choice. Kids in the abstract, kids I might not ever get, kids I'm going to have to really work to get via adoption or surrogacy... Or you. You who I have. You who I couldn't stay away from, you who I spent a year away from, you who changed the shape of my whole world, you who makes me the happiest I have ever been..."
Chris silenced him this time, pushing him back onto the couch and climbing up into his lap. His hands grabbed at Darren's face, fingers splayed across his cheekbones as his body curved into Darren's grip.
"Come to bed," he breathed against his lover's skin, brushing fingers across his skin, up into his curls, rolling his hips down in the way that he knew would push Darren over the edge.
"Technically I'm already in my bed," Darren growled, fingers digging into Chris' hips.
"Fuck you."
"If you want."
"Oh god, and I've signed up for a forever of this?"
"Both of us have," Darren said, catching Chris' eye and smiling. "You and me. Always."
The kiss that followed was slower but it soon built back to its original passion. They did make it to bed.
Eventually.
~~
Sally and Jack came back for brunch the following day, all smiles and intimacy with the excitement of their new little family. Chris watched as Darren congratulated his friends, shared in their happiness, and wondered if he really was OK with the idea of not having kids of his own.
But Darren had assured him and reassured him repeatedly last night and he had to trust that he meant it.
"Guess this solves the argument about what to do with my room then," Darren said, shooting a glance at Jack who had been campaigning for a 'boy's room' which may or may not have resembled a home cinema.
Jack just rolled his eyes and went to refill his mug with coffee, Chris following him.
"Congratulations," he said as Jack poured them both fresh mugs.
"Thanks. Think I'm still in shock mind!"
"But you're happy, right? I mean - you want kids?"
"Honestly? I don't know. But I'm having one so... No, I want it. I do. I just... if you'd asked me yesterday if I wanted one, if me saying yes or no determined whether or not I'd get one? I'd have probably said no. But that's what life throws at you."
"What if you didn't want it? What if...?"
Jack shot Chris a glance, his eyes narrowing. "Something you should be telling Darren?" he asked.
"As if," Chris snorted. "But, y'know... thinking ahead."
"You and Darren? Yeah, I could see that."
"Could?"
"It's up to you isn't it? I mean, Sal and I didn't exactly plan this baby. And with us it was... well, a possibility wasn't it? You can be as careful as you want but nature's got a way... You two don't have that issue. You really do have that choice." Jack studied Chris' face, following his gaze to where Sally and Darren were chatting. "And it's not for everyone. Sal and I? We're both on board with this and so in about seven months' time I'm going to have a screaming, pooping machine on my hands. But when we were talking last night we promised we'd be honest, and if one of us wasn't ready or didn't want it then...
"And it's not a bad thing, it's not as if we're under some obligation to have kids and continue the species, is it? In fact there's some arguments for couples not having kids due to population issues. Way I see it, we all have our own thoughts and wishes and desires and the real trick is about finding a middle ground you're both happy with.
"And if Darren's said he's OK with not having kids then he is," Jack added quietly. "Being with you is all he wants and yeah, he'll keep trying to find ways to make it more and better. But so long as he gets to come home to you? He'll be happy. I promise you that."
"I believe you," Chris replied, just as quiet. "I believe him."
"Then you two are in for one hell of a life together," Jack grinned, holding up his coffee mug in a toast. "Just one thing... What's your stance on the whole marriage thing? 'cause I suspect Darren's pretty keen on that one and it'd take some convincing otherwise..."
Chris laughed, loudly and honestly. "Same page, don't worry."
"Good. 'cause Sal here is already wanting to be Darren's best man. Woman. Whatever."
"I don't think he'd have a problem with that seeing as my best man would be a woman too."
"So... any ideas on a date? Only our calendar is going to be filling up pretty soon..."
Chris laughed again and shook his head. "Nothing official but as soon as there is..."
"Pfft, you two aren't even official," Jack said as he started back towards their respective partners. "I'm just sayin', moving in together? Might be a good time to put the fans out of their misery and let them know they were right all along."
Chris and Darren exchanged looks, then mischievous grins, and said nothing. As soon as Chris was within reach he slipped an arm around Darren's waist and just held him, knowing that they were going to be just fine.
(And married. Soon. Yeah, he thought as Darren's face lit up during some random Harry Potter conversation. Soon. End of the year soon.)
~~
LA's Music Festival Off To A Rockin' Start!
The opening night of LA's Music Festival saw the stars from stage, screen and soundbooths out in force. The festival, aimed at celebrating up and coming artists, kicked off in style with a Glee reunion performing one of their classic hits. The original alumni in attendance included Chris Colfer, Darren Criss and Ashley Fink.
Are The Fans On The Ball?
For years the Glee fandom have had their suspicions about the relationship between Darren Criss and Chris Colfer. After last night's appearance at the LA Music Festival it seems that they may be onto something. They were in attendence along with several ex-cast mates but it was impossible to miss how close they seemed.
Criss confirmed that he has recently moved back to LA after quitting his hit show, Chasing Evelyn. With no new projects confirmed for him in California it's set the fandom alight discussing potential reasons for the relocation.
@clonedmemories @darrencriss I'm sure you've been asked this a million times, but throw a fan a bone. Is it true about you and @chriscolfer?
@darrencriss Yeah, @clonedmemories - it's true. Let the flailing commence!
@chriscolfer Sadly @clonedmemories is right. I had a serious lapse in judgement and now I've got a houseguest I can't shift.
@darrencriss . @chriscolfer loves me really.
@chriscolfer . @darrencriss has a warped view of the world.
@darrencriss . @chriscolfer didn't deny it. I hope you all realise that.
@chriscolfer . @darrencriss needs somewhere to stay tonight. I'm changing the locks.
@darrencriss . @chriscolfer can't lock me out of our home. It's my turn to cook tonight.
@chriscolfer . @darrencriss won't get a chance to give me food poisoning tonight. I call this a win.
@ashleyfink @darrencriss @chriscolfer Don't make me hurt you boys. Kiss and make up. Now. Think of the fans.
@darrencriss @chriscolfer You scared of @ashleyfink?
@chriscolfer @darrencriss Scared of @ashleyfink? Always.
@darrencriss @chriscolfer Better get on with that kissing then.
@chriscolfer @darrencriss If we must. For the sake of the fans.
@msleamichele @chriscolfer @darrencriss You two are unbelieveable, you know that?
@chriscolfer @msleamichele We know!
@darrencriss @msleamichele We know!
@clonedmemories @darrencriss I have like a million followers now because you answered my question. Not sure if I should thank you for this or not!
@darrencriss @clonedmemories Um... sorry?
@chriscolfer @clonedmemories Don't believe @darrencriss. He's lying. He's never sorry.
Author : Jen
Rating : PG-13 for some naughty words
Series : Like a Satellite & Chasing Daylight
Word Count : ~3700
Warnings : allusion to some naughty stuff, RPF...
Summary : Life is a series of moments. Some last for a moment, some last for a lifetime. These moments change and define us, they stick in our memories for the rest of our lives. Sometimes they are fleeting, seemingly insignificant but the consequences and effect they will have could last forever
Notes : so I apparently can't let go. These are a series of follow ups from the epic saga that began with nasonexyouswine's Gravity Thou Art A Heartless Bitch and ran through our dual narrative fic Like A Satellite & Chasing Daylight (link to part one).
There are ten parts and two "interlude" parts to this, charting what happens after.
A/N the first - am posting two moments today as moment 4 was short and sweet.
A/N the second - this part is dedicated to my gal, turnthedarkness. You make me feel epic old but you always put a smile on my face with your comments and messages and emails. So thank you for letting me honour you in this way!
Previous parts:
Moment 1 : how Chris and Darren finally started to talk to each other
Moment 2 : how Chris and Darren tried to spend as much time with each other as possible
The first interlude moment
Moment 3 : how Chris and Darren realised that this really was forever
Moment 4 : how Chris and Darren realised making assumptions wasn't always a bad thing
Just breathe, Chris. Just... breathe. They are Darren's friends, they are your friends now. They are here to help him move in. Just... breathe.
As Jack stumbled into yet another side unit Chris repeated this over and over like a mantra, resisting the urge to grab him and throw him out.
"It could be worse," came a low voice from behind him as a pair of arms slipped around his waist. "Alex could have come too."
Chris had to laugh because Darren was right. God only knows what carnage would be happening if Alex hadn't cancelled on them last night.
"Where'd you want this?" Jack asked, staggering through the door with another box.
"What does it say on the box?" Sally snapped. "Office. So put it in the fucking office."
Darren and Chris stilled, right along with Jack who nodded carefully and started to climb the stairs.
"Sal?" Darren ventured.
"I'm fine," she snapped, turning on her heel and heading out onto the balcony.
Darren kissed the side of Chris' neck briefly before following his friend outside. "You are not fine, Sal."
"I'm pregnant," she blurted out. No warning, no preamble, he wasn't even sure when she took the breath to say it. "At least, I think I am."
"OK."
"And god, Jack... He can barely look after himself and I'm supposed to have a kid with him? Two weeks ago I thought I had a stomach bug and so I spent the day curled up in bed. When I finally ventured out the next morning the apartment looked like a bomb had hit it. I'm not kidding, Dare. It was a mess - even your old room!
"He'd ordered pizza because he couldn't be bothered to cook the food we had in, he left boxes and bottles all over the place because he couldn't be bothered to empty the trash, the laundry that needed doing was still in a heap... Looking after him is a full time job and I'm terrified that with a baby it's going to be so much worse.
"And it's not that he's not going to be a good dad. I know he will be. And I had thought about it before... I have known for a long time that Jack's the guy I'm going to marry and have kids with. I guess I thought the wedding would come first, y'know?
"And god, how traditional does that make me? As if having a child out of wedlock is some big sin these days. Mom loves kids, she loves Jack... God help me, she even approves. She'd be thrilled at being a grandmother. I thought that I'd have time to... I don't know, train him. Get him to spend time with my neice first maybe.
"But we've never talked about it. Me and Jack. Not once have we talked about the future - not like you and Chris. That's why I know you two are going to work. Jack and I... Oh god," she sighed, leaning forward and putting her head on the railing.
Darren resisted the urge to laugh at her ramblings and he put a reassuring hand on her back. "OK, first things first. Let's find out if you are..."
"Pregnant," she muttered into the wooden bar. "Can't you stay in Chicago? Get Chris to move up there? Please don't leave me alone with Jack."
"Sal," he said with a soft laugh. "Look, I'll go and buy the test if you want."
"There's one in my bag. I've been carrying it around for two weeks."
"So what are you waiting for?"
"I don't wanna know."
"Go!" Darren ordered, putting his hands on her shoulders and steering her back into the house. They paused to pick up her bag before Darren half-pushed her towards the downstairs restroom. "I will come in there with you if you don't..."
"Fine!" Sally replied, wrenching herself free of his loose grasp and shutting the door behind her.
Darren stepped back to give a little bit of privacy (listening to your pseudo-ex girlfriend and best friend pee was a bit weird) and smiled gently as Chris joined him.
"Everything OK?" he asked.
"Not sure," Darren replied.
"What's up? She OK?"
"We'll find out in a bit."
They waited for a few minutes before Sally came out, test in hand. Darren looked at her face and he knew, holding out a hand to her. She took it gratefully, letting him pull her into a hug.
"It's gonna be OK," Darren whispered.
"I'm scared."
"I know. But it's still gonna be OK."
"What will be?" Jack asked, returning from the van with another box to find his girlfriend in the arms of someone else.
Sally disentangled herself from Darren and pulled Jack outside.
"She's pregnant," Darren explained.
"Not good?" Chris asked.
"Unexpected," Darren clarified. "But wanted I reckon. They'll be fine."
As if to prove his point they heard Jack's shout of absolute joy and Sally's laughter coming from just outside the front door, and Sally's squeal of "put me down" told them exactly what Jack's reaction had been to the news.
"See?" Darren said, slipping his arms back around Chris' waist. "Just think. That could be us celebrating that one day."
Chris gave a gentle laugh. "Not likely," he said lightly. "Kid free zone me. Like 'em, even love 'em on occasion, but not for me thanks. But I'm sure we'll have other celebrations," he whispered low, turning his head to press a kiss on Darren's cheek.
As he walked away to move some boxes he didn't notice the frozen look on Darren's face.
Wait... what?
~~
The boxes were unloaded from the van and placed into their appropriate rooms. Darren immediately called dibs on not taking it back to the depot; driving it down from Chicago with Chris over the last few weeks, while fun, meant he was not keen to get behind the wheel any time soon.
They'd taken the decision to move themselves not wanting to draw attention to Darren's return to LA and, more to the point, him moving into Chris' home. Their home. So after Darren had wrapped with Evelyn for the last time (and god the fans were going to hate that cliff-hanger!) he and Chris had loaded his things into a van and taken a two week road trip from Chicago to LA. A two thousand mile road trip and they had taken time to celebrate their new life and each other every step of the way.
(What happened in Vegas was staying in Vegas though...)
Now, after Jack and Sally left with the van to head to their hotel, Darren was beginning to wonder how he could spend two weeks next to this man, spend two weeks sleeping beside and with this man, have known him for two years, and yet somehow not known something so fundamental about him.
~~
Ashley had arranged for dinner to be brought to them that night from "that new posh place" as she termed it. Three courses of fine dining delivered to their door for what was supposed to be a romantic first meal.
Instead Darren picked miserably at his food until Chris demanded to know what was wrong.
"You don't want kids," Darren told him.
"No, I... I thought you knew that."
"Nope."
"Darren..." Chris said, putting down his cutlery and getting up from his seat. "Dare..."
"I shouldn't have assumed... It's fine. I'll get over it."
"Get over it?" Chris whispered, moving towards him. "Dare... You want kids... You want a family. I don't. How do we get over that?" He crouched down beside Darren, trying to meet his downcast eye.
"I..." Darren began, finally looking at Chris. "I don't know."
"We should have talked about this before. I'm so sorry..."
"Can we... can we talk now?" Darren asked. "I mean... why...?"
Chris gave a small shrug. "It's just... not something I ever thought about. Not something I ever saw myself doing. I like kids fine, but when they're someone else's."
"But they won't be someone else's."
"Unless there's something you're not telling me, yeah, they will be," Chris attempted to joke. "Right before I moved to LA for Glee my aunt came to stay with us, bringing my six month old cousin with her. And I adored that kid, I still do. I loved looking after him, keeping him amused... But I was always glad to give him back at the end of the day. And I do not do well at being woken up in the middle of the night - as you well know."
"I always thought that... That it would be different somehow. If it was ours?"
"I don't feel that way, I'm sorry."
"So that's it? It's not even an option for later consideration?"
"Is this... Is this a deal breaker?" Chris whispered softly, almost afraid of the answer.
"I honestly don't know."
"I love you."
"I love you back," Darren replied with all the sincerity he could muster and he tried to convince himself that it was enough.
~~
He still slept on the couch that night.
Well, slept would be overstating it. Darren stared at the ceiling above his head, the floor of what was now supposed to be their room and instead he was wondering if the relationship was over before it had really begun.
How could he not have known? How could he have built a whole life with Chris in his head and not known? This was class 101 stuff. Favourite food, colour, stance on kids. The kind of stuff that could make or break a relationship.
If they let it.
Somewhere around one in the morning Darren had picked up his phone and thumbed through his contacts, wondering who he could speak to about this. Most of them were too close to him and Chris for something this personal, or they weren't close enough. And anyone he could think of would be asleep right now. As he went past one name though he stopped, and for the first time in ten years he understood what she'd meant when she'd told him about the defining moment in her marriage.
~~
It was just after three when he heard Chris on the stairs. He sat up and looked over, immediately catching his gaze. Without saying a word Chris joined him on the couch and they sat, side by side, touching from hip to knee the same way they had that afternoon on the balcony.
"Mom's got these friends," Darren said quietly in the darkness, "known them since before I was born. Lovely couple, think she was matron of honour at their wedding. Anyway, they started trying for kids right from the word go. They wanted them, they didn't want to wait. Trying for a whole soccer team I think!
"Anyway, after four years of trying and nothing they go to the doctor's. Turns out they're one of those couples who just struggles. No reason for it. So they save up and they try IVF and every other remedy and trick and concoction that they can.
"On their tenth wedding anniversary she tells my mom that they're not trying any more. It's clearly not meant to be and that was that. Of course Mom asks about adoption and she points out that for the last ten years they have had nothing but stress and worry and trying to make sure the other is OK with this. They had every step of their life dictated to them because they were trying to have a baby and there were times when it nearly destroyed them.
"So they were stopping. They were going to be the best aunt and uncle ever, and by that time Mom's got all of us running about the place so she kinda adopted us. And half the neighbourhood. We all knew where we could go if we were in trouble or if we were hungry or if we were locked out. They were so happy together, married almost twenty years now."
"And let me guess. The second they gave up that's when she fell pregnant?" Chris interjected.
"Nope. No kids. This isn't that kind of a story. But I asked her, once, why they never had any. She told me that it wasn't meant to be, that she and her husband just couldn't have them together. At one point he even offered to let her go find someone she could have kids with, and you know what she told him?
"She said, 'I want you. I want to spend my life with you. Anything else I get in addition to that is a bonus'. I never fully understood what she meant until tonight." Darren turned on the couch so he was looking at Chris' profile. "I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."
"Yeah, but you wanting kids isn't going to go away," Chris said, not looking at him. "And it's not as if we can turn our house into some halfway home for the neighbourhood, is it?"
"I'm not suggesting we do," Darren replied. "But tonight made me realise one thing."
"What's that?" Chris asked, finally turning his head to look at Darren.
"I don't want kids in the abstract. I want them with you. I'd want to raise a family with you. And it would be a bonus."
"Darren..."
"I hated my life when you weren't in it. I coped since September because I knew, no matter what else was going on, that I had you. I may not have been with you but I had you." He grabbed Chris' hand and pressed it to his chest. "And I'm not letting you go for anything."
"But kids..."
"Our kids," he corrected. "You meet and you fall in love with the person that you want to raise a family with. You don't just go out and find someone to 'do the job with'," he said. "Well, not normally. I certainly wouldn't."
"You're sure about this," Chris breathed, "because this is too big, Dare. If there's even a chance that you..."
Darren answered him with a kiss, just the firm pressure at first, letting him know that yes - he was sure. When they parted he rested their foreheads together.
"I want you, Chris," he said quietly, "I need you. Anything else would be a bonus."
"This isn't a bonus situation though," Chris said, his voice shaking. "This is... People want kids. This isn't like wanting steak for dinner but finding out it's not on the menu any more. This is... This is wanting to be with someone and not having them."
"Been there, done that," Darren replied. "We both have. And I'm not going back there again."
"It's not that simple."
"Yeah, it is. I have a choice. Kids in the abstract, kids I might not ever get, kids I'm going to have to really work to get via adoption or surrogacy... Or you. You who I have. You who I couldn't stay away from, you who I spent a year away from, you who changed the shape of my whole world, you who makes me the happiest I have ever been..."
Chris silenced him this time, pushing him back onto the couch and climbing up into his lap. His hands grabbed at Darren's face, fingers splayed across his cheekbones as his body curved into Darren's grip.
"Come to bed," he breathed against his lover's skin, brushing fingers across his skin, up into his curls, rolling his hips down in the way that he knew would push Darren over the edge.
"Technically I'm already in my bed," Darren growled, fingers digging into Chris' hips.
"Fuck you."
"If you want."
"Oh god, and I've signed up for a forever of this?"
"Both of us have," Darren said, catching Chris' eye and smiling. "You and me. Always."
The kiss that followed was slower but it soon built back to its original passion. They did make it to bed.
Eventually.
~~
Sally and Jack came back for brunch the following day, all smiles and intimacy with the excitement of their new little family. Chris watched as Darren congratulated his friends, shared in their happiness, and wondered if he really was OK with the idea of not having kids of his own.
But Darren had assured him and reassured him repeatedly last night and he had to trust that he meant it.
"Guess this solves the argument about what to do with my room then," Darren said, shooting a glance at Jack who had been campaigning for a 'boy's room' which may or may not have resembled a home cinema.
Jack just rolled his eyes and went to refill his mug with coffee, Chris following him.
"Congratulations," he said as Jack poured them both fresh mugs.
"Thanks. Think I'm still in shock mind!"
"But you're happy, right? I mean - you want kids?"
"Honestly? I don't know. But I'm having one so... No, I want it. I do. I just... if you'd asked me yesterday if I wanted one, if me saying yes or no determined whether or not I'd get one? I'd have probably said no. But that's what life throws at you."
"What if you didn't want it? What if...?"
Jack shot Chris a glance, his eyes narrowing. "Something you should be telling Darren?" he asked.
"As if," Chris snorted. "But, y'know... thinking ahead."
"You and Darren? Yeah, I could see that."
"Could?"
"It's up to you isn't it? I mean, Sal and I didn't exactly plan this baby. And with us it was... well, a possibility wasn't it? You can be as careful as you want but nature's got a way... You two don't have that issue. You really do have that choice." Jack studied Chris' face, following his gaze to where Sally and Darren were chatting. "And it's not for everyone. Sal and I? We're both on board with this and so in about seven months' time I'm going to have a screaming, pooping machine on my hands. But when we were talking last night we promised we'd be honest, and if one of us wasn't ready or didn't want it then...
"And it's not a bad thing, it's not as if we're under some obligation to have kids and continue the species, is it? In fact there's some arguments for couples not having kids due to population issues. Way I see it, we all have our own thoughts and wishes and desires and the real trick is about finding a middle ground you're both happy with.
"And if Darren's said he's OK with not having kids then he is," Jack added quietly. "Being with you is all he wants and yeah, he'll keep trying to find ways to make it more and better. But so long as he gets to come home to you? He'll be happy. I promise you that."
"I believe you," Chris replied, just as quiet. "I believe him."
"Then you two are in for one hell of a life together," Jack grinned, holding up his coffee mug in a toast. "Just one thing... What's your stance on the whole marriage thing? 'cause I suspect Darren's pretty keen on that one and it'd take some convincing otherwise..."
Chris laughed, loudly and honestly. "Same page, don't worry."
"Good. 'cause Sal here is already wanting to be Darren's best man. Woman. Whatever."
"I don't think he'd have a problem with that seeing as my best man would be a woman too."
"So... any ideas on a date? Only our calendar is going to be filling up pretty soon..."
Chris laughed again and shook his head. "Nothing official but as soon as there is..."
"Pfft, you two aren't even official," Jack said as he started back towards their respective partners. "I'm just sayin', moving in together? Might be a good time to put the fans out of their misery and let them know they were right all along."
Chris and Darren exchanged looks, then mischievous grins, and said nothing. As soon as Chris was within reach he slipped an arm around Darren's waist and just held him, knowing that they were going to be just fine.
(And married. Soon. Yeah, he thought as Darren's face lit up during some random Harry Potter conversation. Soon. End of the year soon.)
~~
LA's Music Festival Off To A Rockin' Start!
The opening night of LA's Music Festival saw the stars from stage, screen and soundbooths out in force. The festival, aimed at celebrating up and coming artists, kicked off in style with a Glee reunion performing one of their classic hits. The original alumni in attendance included Chris Colfer, Darren Criss and Ashley Fink.
Are The Fans On The Ball?
For years the Glee fandom have had their suspicions about the relationship between Darren Criss and Chris Colfer. After last night's appearance at the LA Music Festival it seems that they may be onto something. They were in attendence along with several ex-cast mates but it was impossible to miss how close they seemed.
Criss confirmed that he has recently moved back to LA after quitting his hit show, Chasing Evelyn. With no new projects confirmed for him in California it's set the fandom alight discussing potential reasons for the relocation.
@clonedmemories @darrencriss I'm sure you've been asked this a million times, but throw a fan a bone. Is it true about you and @chriscolfer?
@darrencriss Yeah, @clonedmemories - it's true. Let the flailing commence!
@chriscolfer Sadly @clonedmemories is right. I had a serious lapse in judgement and now I've got a houseguest I can't shift.
@darrencriss . @chriscolfer loves me really.
@chriscolfer . @darrencriss has a warped view of the world.
@darrencriss . @chriscolfer didn't deny it. I hope you all realise that.
@chriscolfer . @darrencriss needs somewhere to stay tonight. I'm changing the locks.
@darrencriss . @chriscolfer can't lock me out of our home. It's my turn to cook tonight.
@chriscolfer . @darrencriss won't get a chance to give me food poisoning tonight. I call this a win.
@ashleyfink @darrencriss @chriscolfer Don't make me hurt you boys. Kiss and make up. Now. Think of the fans.
@darrencriss @chriscolfer You scared of @ashleyfink?
@chriscolfer @darrencriss Scared of @ashleyfink? Always.
@darrencriss @chriscolfer Better get on with that kissing then.
@chriscolfer @darrencriss If we must. For the sake of the fans.
@msleamichele @chriscolfer @darrencriss You two are unbelieveable, you know that?
@chriscolfer @msleamichele We know!
@darrencriss @msleamichele We know!
@clonedmemories @darrencriss I have like a million followers now because you answered my question. Not sure if I should thank you for this or not!
@darrencriss @clonedmemories Um... sorry?
@chriscolfer @clonedmemories Don't believe @darrencriss. He's lying. He's never sorry.