I am completely depressed, barely functioning enough to go through the motions of my routines.

I had my first therapy appointment yesterday.

Yep.

I went to the ER last night, because I was having severe anxiety that I could not get under control. The social worker tried their damndest to get me to agree to stay for a week, but no. That won't help my anxiety, that will make it three thousand times worse unless youre just going to knock me out the entire week. Then I'll wake up four ( Read more... )

Since Jan 2010 I've now lost 70 pounds. I went from 322, to my current weight of 252. I've been keeping a stictly weight loss only blog over at this blog, on tumblr. I'm working really hard at it, taking care of myself, and doing something I never thought I could do. It occupies a lot of my thoughts lately, especially when everything else is so ( Read more... )

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most days i am not capable of eating until at least noon, my body doesnt want/wont deal with it. beyond that, most days i dont eat until even later because i forget and or im just busy and dont get a chance. i usually get hungry for real around 3 or so most days if i havent eaten by then, but there are days, like today, where i ignore it as long ( Read more... )

What do I do, Christopher? I've tried to have you in my life with boundaries and you don't respect them. You hurt me every time I let you in, and you use me, and you steal from me, and you do whatever you need to do for you ( Read more... )

One of my bigger issues has always been that I am not a selfish person, even when I need to be. I often get taken for granted and taken advantage of because I'm too nice, don't know how to say no, and don't know how to speak up for myself. I work on it, I get better as I get older, but it's still there... it's just me, it's my nature. I think it ( Read more... )

only good enough for everybody's bare minimum ( Read more... )

Linda was like 2:41 pm
(2:41:07 PM):     no. i just get more miserable every day. i hate myself so much and then i hate myself more for being this way and feeling this way. im stuck just spiraling down every fucking day.
SquawkingHawkeye 2:41 pm
(2:41:46 PM):     what is it about yourself that you feel like is so awful? other than being depressed, ( Read more... )

I'm very lonely lately and for all intents and purposes I shouldn't be. But I am. When I'm home lately I turn on everything I can. All messengers, I even log into WoW and leave it logged in without playing because there are people I talk to there, and only there. Except tonight, none of it. It doesn't matter anyway, I'm just tired of being a ( Read more... )