this knot in my throat continues to grow as i realize what ive done. i feel sick. i am suprised the tears have yet to begin to flow...i have to sell Moon. i've come to realize that i dont have much of a choice. im still in disbelief that im unsupported by my parents completely. i dont want to talk with them or see them, afraid of what they will say ( Read more... )

Don't know why I'm still afraid ( Read more... )

I drink good coffee every morning ( Read more... )

well, i guess im not as alone as i though i was.
we all got drunk and talked and cried.
and im still not sure if it was all true
but at least i know im not so alone

im doing it again. changing my plans. i need time for me. i need a break. idk whats going to happen yet but im reviewing my options. it WILL all work out. we'll see.

"Help, I have done it again ( Read more... )

today i did something that i really shouldnt have...and it had some consequences...kinda scary. maybe i learned my lesson this time. (i hope) ...maybe ill just be more careful next time. though i really hope there isnt a next time.

So... I spent the night at alex's on Thursday night. I got to hang out with both of the boys!! YAY! i left early the next morning to go to the barn and meet em. We got moonie in the trailer, threw in all of my stuff and then we were off to lexington. I was really sad to leave dylan and alex but i was also excited and unsure of how everything would ( Read more... )

well, things are really getting better. i admit they weren't really thaaaat bad but sometimes i just breakdown. so i went down to lexington to check out the farm that im going be living and working at... everyone was incredibly nice and im really excited. i agreed to work for 1 yr and can start as soon as i can get mr. moonie down there. YAY!!! i ( Read more... )

guess what? im 19! ...it doesnt feel like it. to tell you the truth, it doesnt feel like my birthday ever happened. ...long story ( Read more... )