Reality Show Event 2: Hat Shore Boot Camp Swamp Edition! (Hat Shore Participants)
Clearly, the residents of Hat Shore needed something to do to keep from getting restless, much like a giant hamster ball. But once the idea of shoving everybody into a giant hamster ball had been nixed, the next best thing had been arranged: a boot camp! It would get everybody out into the open air, give everyone a chance to burn off energy, and
( Read more... )
Comments 111
Reply
Except that tree octopi were ... oddly alluring ... really, one could think of them as monsters....
The Geat writhed on the ground beneath a gaggle of tree octopi. He made no progress.
Reply
Fleshlings had intrigued Starscream on first encounter, but all it had taken was a few days spent on Earth to thoroughly kill most of the scientific curiosity he'd held for them. Based on his observations they were exceedingly primitive life forms, bent on the destruction of their own species and home planet(s), and their pathetic, short lives -- when compared to his own lifespan of several million years -- revolved utterly around recreational procreation, judging by their media and popular culture ( ... )
Reply
Reply
Reply
"Funny sort of weapon, isn't it?"
No matter. That's what the rules say to use, after all.
George brandished the pool noodle as he ran for the logs, yelling "TALLY HO!"
Reply
And so, each of the Shoggies picked up a pool noodle, finding that the squeaky vinyl was unusually easy for them to get a grip on with the pseudopods they temporarily extended for the purpose. "Do we hits that guy?" Shoggy 3 asked, to which Shoggy 28 replied, "We can! We can hit that guy!" "Can I just hit you? You're right here." added in Shoggy 15, who began hitting Shoggy 28 with its pool noodle. "No, we got to hit people who are on the logs" Shoggy 21.5 managed to helpfully clarify, at which the Shoggies proceeded towards the logs as one, slipping beneath the muck as they did so ( ... )
Reply
He shrugged. "TALLY HO!" he cried again, starting to hit the Shoggies back. He was hitting himself in the process, but who cares? This is fun!
Reply
Reply
and promptly fell over.
He kept trying to do this until Andrew Jackson (who was there to referee) got bored and zapped him to get going to the next station.
Reply
More or less dried off, Bucky moved on to work on standing on his head. After a few false starts, he was finally able to prop himself into a wobbling headstand--actually on his head, not propped up on only his hands paws.
"How long do I have to stay here?" he called to Yoda.
"Until a vision you have. Recognize this you will. Unmistakable it is." Yoda went back to observing the goings-on, a swamp insect lighting on his finger and not sucking his blood because that's how Yoda rolled.
Bucky muttered some obscenities under his breath and continued wobbling for several minutes. His head was starting to hurt from the blood pooling. And then suddenly--a vision!
In his vision, he was eating a delicious monkey, finally. It tasted oddly like tuna, because tuna was delicious and therefore probably what monkeys tasted like.
"Good enough," he said, springing up and wobbling off.
Reply
It was after a few minutes of this quiet drooling and wondering that the Shoggies had their revelation. Simultaneously, the Shoggies announced, "Sooo cool!" "Our top part is our bottom part too!" Shoggy 7 piped happily, putting their miraculous revelation into words. "We're standing on our heads right now!" "Sooo cool!" The Shoggies quivered there a moment, marvelling over this new understanding, before squelching along to the next station.
Reply
Reply
"Bravo to me!" he said. "I completed a station my first try!"
Hey, it's an achievement for him.
Reply
"This. Is. Stupid."
Nevertheless, he feared the Hat's wrath, so he did it. Half assed, but it got done.
Reply
Although standing on their heads proved to be far easier than the Shoggies had initially realized, sack racing racing proved to be far harder than it looked. To begin with, Shoggies 3 and 21.5 ate their sacks upon obtaining them, and Shoggy 9.5 ate its sack while they were trying to figure out what to do with the rest of the sacks. Once they did figure out what they were supposed to do, the Shoggies squelched into the remaining sacks, with the Shoggies who'd eaten theirs sharing with others.
It was Shoggy 11 who first announced, "Oh no! We can't jump in the sacks! We don't have feet!" "Soooo not cool!" came the Shoggy chorus this time. "No, we can jump! We just need to bounce, like this!" Shoggy 15 said, giving bouncing its best attempt- as the Shoggy was stuck in a sack, amorphous bouncing failed to get anywhere. Its sack, shared with Shoggy 3, simply bounced around a little and didn't go anywhere. "You can't do its Shoggy because you needs feet for jumping," insisted its comrade in sack sharing. " ( ... )
Reply
Reply
The Shoggies at least started off by moving in the right direction for the limbo station. They were all a bit droopy still, from their failure at hopping in sacks, and had initially been determined to succeed at whatever came next in order to make up for it.
But what was this? There was something glowy in the deepest bit of the swamp! As one, the Shoggies murmured the expected "sooo cool" and squelched directly towards the splotches of light, which glowed a weird and beckoning blue-green, and seemed to shift about erratically ( ... )
Reply
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment