Application for Virginia Braithwaite - At Home With The Braithwaites

[vbraithwaite]

Virginia looked around, not really knowing what she was doing here.

Lighting up a cigarette, she sat down on the ground,

"Fuck!"

Comments

[sidney_reilly]

Reilly opened a gold cigarette case and held it out to the woman.

"Rather down on marriage, aren't we. Ever tried it?"

[vbraithwaite]

"Yes, actually, I bloody well have. Married the gold-digger who was trying to get my mothers millions. Only problem is, she then tried to sleep with my pissing shit head of a father, but he was too drunk to remember. So then the bitch tried to bribe him for a million pounds, or she'd tell me, then she went and died through a fuckign pissing television falling in the bath tub. So yeah, I am rather down on marriage. And yes, I will take a pissing cigarette"

With a shaky hand, she reached out and grabbed one of the fags, stuck it in the corner of her mouth,

"Who the fuck are you, anyway?"

[sidney_reilly]

"Name's Reilly," he said, and lit up a cigarette of his own. "I must say, you make me feel rather grateful to be an orphan. What became of the golddigger?"

[vbraithwaite]

"I just fucking told you. The lousy twat got killed in the bathtub by the telly. Dead. Fried to the middle of her fucking shitting brain."

[wolfram_jyari]

"Well, it's about time. I've been waiting for help regarding stuff for far too long. Go fiddle around with some stuff and I'll sort you into a House."

[vbraithwaite]

"Are you gonna give us some sort of clue? I'm good with me hands you see, so something along those lines would be, y'kna, canny. House? what?"

[wolfram_jyari]

"I thought you were the one who was willing to help out with stuff? Well, I have much stuff and odds and ends. But if you're just going to stand there, I'll retract my offer."

[vbraithwaite]

"Could you possibly vague that up a little bit more? Want me to pissing slow it down for you?"

Virginia threw her cigarette on the ground, stamping on it,

"WHAT.....FUCKING.....STUFF....DO.....YOU.....WANT.....ME.....TO......DO? Is that a bit better for you? Huh?"

[godzilla_2000]

Gojira was up and about when it peered in on the sorting taking place.

With a mighty roar that continued to echo long after it finished, it watched what was happening.

[vbraithwaite]

"WHAT THE FUCKING SHITTING JESUS IS THAT?!?!?"

Virginia fell backwards smacking her head of the wall,

"Ow, you fucking twunting bastardio!"

[godzilla_2000]

Godzilla leans closer to the window till only a lone, yellow eye peered through.

It gave a small huff and continued to watch.

[vbraithwaite]

Virginia backed away from the window, sticking two fingers up at whatever the hell it was.

[carriesapurse]

Tinky Winky had what one might call a new lease on life. Not only had he risen anew from the abyss of popcorning, he had now been hunted down by reunited with his indispensable Narrator. The Narrator, invisible yet audible to all, told Tinky Winky what to do. Without him, Tinky Winky could not even try to function. The Teletubby would forget when and even how to sleep. He would forget to eat. He would run into walls haplessly, resulting in a bizarre quasi-frottage -- well, that last bit Tinky Winky was capable of doing even with the Narrator trying to guide him away. Ah, well, no one's perfect.

He had been joyfully reacquainting himself with the features of his Hogwarts life. The chaw parlor! Soon it would be Brokeback Thursday! He would have to find his fiance Mikaw, and celebrate! And there was the wedding to look forward to

[vbraithwaite]

"What the?"

Virginia looked around to be faced with, well, she wasn't too sure what she was faced with. It seemed to be a little bit too over enthusiastic about marriage. Quickly giving him a quick once over, eyes glancing past the handbag, Virginia found she was dealing with one of her own.

"Ahh, a supporter of gay marriage are we?"

She patted every one of her pockets, putting her hand inside the lining of her inner pocket. In the hole. she found a nipped cigarette, and proceeded to light it, whilst looking curiously at the.....creature.

"I've got a few things to tell you about marriage. Don't do it. Seriously. Get your fucking ass on the get out of shit free card, piss all over go, and collect the wedding presents, but do not, and I mean it, I do, do not say "I do" Milk what you can and then fuck the fuck off."

[carriesapurse]

As far as Tinky Winky was concerned, gay marriage was the only kind of marriage. "Mawwiage!" he crowed again, nodding so hard his inverted-triangle antenna flapped with the vehemence of the movement. "GAY mawwiage!"

So excited was he by this notion, he broke out into spontaneous interpretive dance.

There was one thing the lady said that Tinky Winky didn't quite understand. He stopped and fixed her with his vast creepy black eyes. "Fuck? Fucking ass?"

[vbraithwaite]

"Whats the matter? Don't you know what those mean?"

Virginia smirked, she could see this being fun.

"Do you know what bum means? Or tit? Or Twunt? Or any of piss, shit, bollocks, twatting, pisstastic, fucktastic, bastarding, pissing, jobby, plamf, or cocking mean?"

[daxtastic]

Dax quirked an eyebrow, reading over the answer to question five, and imitating the young woman's hand gesture. "Up yours, as well!"

It was clearly a greeting of some kind. Why else would one affix the moniker to a bar?

[vbraithwaite]

"Piss off you cocky bastard then!"

Virginia glared and folded her arms, daring the insults to continue with her eyes.

[daxtastic]

"Piss off?" Hmm. She wasn't familiar with that one. This time, Dax held up an index finger. "One moment, please." She produced a pen and small pad of paper. "Is 'cocky' spelled with a 'c', 'k', or Andorian 'qwerd'?"

She'd become familiar with 21st century vernacular, or die trying!

[vbraithwaite]

"It's spelt F-U-C-K-O-F-F"

Virginia didn't get why she was being so bloody well, insulting and strange with her.