WART #74: The Gayest WART Ever! (That's what SHE said!)

[office_michael]

"Goooooooooooooooooooooooood morning VietNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!" shrieked a man's voice throughout all the radio speakers positioned around Hogwarts. A long pause followed, as though the speaker were somehow waiting for a response from the listeners. The end of that pause was punctuated by a hissed sort of snickering, laughter lodged in the back of the

Comments

[toujours_sirius]

Sirius was terribly depressed. Playing Jenga with Lily had been a colossal mistake. He should never have let her goad him into kissing her, because all it had done was show her how he felt, and, as he had predicted, she had not reacted well to it. Alone in his room and sobered up (a situation he was considering changing very shortly), he turned on the radio to see if anything was on that might cheer him up.

Well, Michael’s extreme idiocy was definitely not something that was going to lighten his mood, but at least he could transfer his hurt into annoyance with the git. He lay on his bed throughout the entire broadcast. When Michael announced the show was almost over, he was on the verge of hauling himself up and getting another bottle of Firewhisky when he heard the dedication to ‘Black’. Lily’s name for him. Lily.

His heart leapt in his chest and started to pound a steadily increasing rhythm as he listened to the lyrics of the song. He wasn’t quite sure what they meant, but…well, they weren’t something you’d say to someone whom you

Re: *Screened for Sirius and Michael*

[toujours_sirius]

"...Who?!"

Re: *Screened for Sirius and Michael*

[office_michael]

"You know, the hot redhead, used to date the doctor guy." Now Michael was getting impatient. This stuff was so obvious! "I'll give you three guesses as to what color their kids' hair woulda been!" He paused. "Hey! Ya think the carpet matches the drapes on her?" He had totally gotten that one from Todd Packer!

Re: *Screened for Sirius and Michael*

[toujours_sirius]

It was Lily. Merlin's glorious balls, it was her. Sirius still wasn't sure what she had meant by her dedication...but the possibility that it was something....

Just thinking about that possibility made Sirius's throat go dry and his heart drop into his stomach. He had to go find her. He had to know.

And then Michael's obnoxious comment about her hair hit him, and he stared for a moment before saying in an offhand tone, "Oh, believe me, the carpet does indeed match the drapes." He paused. "On him." By which he meant Cox, of course.

It had been clear from the radio broadcast that this bloke was a total fool and was probably best dealt with by being shocked rather than being argued with. Logic was clearly not his friend. Or even his distant acquaintance. And he clearly wasn't really gay.

Without bothering to wait for Michael's reaction, Sirius jumped into the Fireplace and Flooed out of the studio.

Re: *Screened for Sirius and Michael*

[office_michael]

After a moment's shock, Michael said to the empty studio, "I've got no problems with you being gay! Gay pride, brotha! Yay for gay! I'm gay, too! We're gay brothers!"

Then, to himself, Michael said, "Man, it's a good thing he's not African American after all. I mean, black and gay?!" He shuddered. "BRRRRRR! Talk about getting the shaft!" The innuendo didn't even register. "...although if I were to have hired him, I'd have been killing two birds with one stone! I mean, if I could just hire a black, gay, crippled, retarded, elderly, fat, anorexic woman, I'd have all the diversity I need in just one warm...damaged body!"

Michael sat back and began to imagine all of the diversity awards he would win and the speeches he would give at each of them.