Comments | hogwarts_hocus: WART #74: The Gayest WART Ever! (That's what SHE said!)

office_michael in hogwarts_hocus

WART #74: The Gayest WART Ever! (That's what SHE said!)

Mar 07, 2007 17:55

"Goooooooooooooooooooooooood morning VietNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!" shrieked a man's voice throughout all the radio speakers positioned around Hogwarts. A long pause followed, as though the speaker were somehow waiting for a response from the listeners. The end of that pause was punctuated by a hissed sort of snickering, laughter lodged in the back of the ( Read more... )

benton fraser, jim halpert, sirius black, tinky winky, michael scott, radio

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toujours_sirius March 8 2007, 04:28:12 UTC

Sirius was terribly depressed. Playing Jenga with Lily had been a colossal mistake. He should never have let her goad him into kissing her, because all it had done was show her how he felt, and, as he had predicted, she had not reacted well to it. Alone in his room and sobered up (a situation he was considering changing very shortly), he turned on the radio to see if anything was on that might cheer him up.

Well, Michael’s extreme idiocy was definitely not something that was going to lighten his mood, but at least he could transfer his hurt into annoyance with the git. He lay on his bed throughout the entire broadcast. When Michael announced the show was almost over, he was on the verge of hauling himself up and getting another bottle of Firewhisky when he heard the dedication to ‘Black’. Lily’s name for him. Lily.

His heart leapt in his chest and started to pound a steadily increasing rhythm as he listened to the lyrics of the song. He wasn’t quite sure what they meant, but…well, they weren’t something you’d say to someone whom you were angry at. Or someone you liked as just a friend.

No. No. Sirius couldn’t consider that. He couldn’t get his hopes up, not after what had happened.

It might not even have been Lily who had dedicated the song. And maybe there was another ‘Black’ in the school.

Sirius had to find out.

In one quick motion, he leapt off his bed and made a beeline straight for the nearest Floo. After throwing a monstrous handful of Floo powder on himself, he leapt into it and was in the WART studio just as Michael finished his broadcast.

Blackish-grey powder and ashes still clung to his hair as he practically threw himself at Michael, his voice and eyes frantic and intense. “Who dedicated that song to me?” he demanded. “I know these things are supposed to be anonymous, but PLEASE. I NEED to know. Who made that dedication?”

office_michael March 8 2007, 04:31:42 UTC

Michael put his hands out to stop Sirius from getting too close. Sirius was a dude, after all, and that was just gross! "Ooooo~oooookay, slow down there, buddy. I don't even know who you are."

toujours_sirius March 8 2007, 04:33:39 UTC

"Black. I'm Black." Sirius's voice was edgy and impatient.

office_michael March 8 2007, 04:42:32 UTC

Michael laughed incredulously, in a choking sort of way. "Ummmmmmm...you're not black. Look, if aaaaaaaanyone's a friend of diversity, it's me! But ya can't just come waltzing in here saying that you're black and expect I'll give you a job or make you assistant to the DJ or something. Thaaaa~aaaaat...would not be equal!"

toujours_sirius March 8 2007, 04:48:35 UTC

And that was when Sirius realised he was dealing with a true idiot. "Okay, let's try this again, shall we?" He was doing his best to be patient, but it was only because he knew he needed information from Michael, and if he lost his cool, Michael might not give it to him. "My last name is Black," he said slowly and clearly. "Someone dedicated a song to me on your show, and I need to know who it is."

office_michael March 8 2007, 04:55:50 UTC

"Seeeeee, I don't know about this." Michael looked very skeptical. "How do you know the song was dedicated to you and not a real black guy? I mean, it's called 'Chasing Cars.' How do you know it's not about police chases in da hood?"

Prison Mike was from da hood. And he feared Dementors. Just like Sirius.

toujours_sirius March 8 2007, 04:57:27 UTC

"The song...is dedicated...to me," Sirius said in a very measured tone, behind gritted teeth. "And I think I know who did it, but I'm not certain and - " his tone turned pleading " - I need to know for sure. Please."

office_michael March 8 2007, 04:59:24 UTC

Sirius looked like a crazy man to Michael, so he decided to move past the identity part. "It's an anonymous request, so I'm preeeeee~eeeeety sure the person who dedicated it would want to remain anonymous." Michael was not good at keeping secrets, but he figured he'd give it a try.

toujours_sirius March 8 2007, 05:01:39 UTC

Sirius was getting desperate. "Come on, please, don't you have any information on who it was?" He paused, suddenly realising the lengths he was going to have to go to at this point. "Look, if you've got any information and are willing to give it to me, I'll...I'll do you a favour, anything you want."

Almost immediately, he realised this statement definitely required a caveat, especially with this idiot. "Almost anything."

office_michael March 8 2007, 05:03:01 UTC

"Well...." It took Michael only a small moment to think about it. "Okay! But only because I consider you as a good friend, and what are friends for, right?"

toujours_sirius March 8 2007, 05:04:52 UTC

What the fuck?! Sirius had just officially met this bloke, and now they were good friends?

Well, whatever. Anything that would get him the identity of the person who had dedicated the song. "Erm...right...yes."

office_michael March 8 2007, 05:07:08 UTC

"Lean on meeeeeee, when you're not stro-ong!" Yes, Michael had just broken out into song. "And I'll be your...something something. I'll help you...da da da!" He paused, a huge grin on his face, waiting for a reaction from Sirius. When he got none, he said, "And throw me a surprise birthday party. And make it GOOD. I don't want anything lame where people don't remember it's my birthday, and then someone is all worried that they might have skin cancer or be dying. Or whatever."

*Screened for Sirius and Michael* toujours_sirius March 8 2007, 05:09:02 UTC

Sirius quickly screened the conversation, a completely o.O look on his face as he did so. "Yeah, fine, just...owl me and tell me what you want at this part and I'll do it." Yes, he really was that desperate.

"So who dedicated the song to me, then?" His heart raced as he waited for the answer.

Re: *Screened for Sirius and Michael* office_michael March 8 2007, 05:09:52 UTC

"Pam," Michael said soberly. "It was Pam."

Re: *Screened for Sirius and Michael* toujours_sirius March 8 2007, 05:11:13 UTC

"...What? Who the fuck is Pam?" Damn. And he really had thought it was Lily. A huge wave of disappointment washed over him.

Re: *Screened for Sirius and Michael* office_michael March 8 2007, 05:13:28 UTC

"Well, not Pam Pam," Michael explained nonchalantly, "but Pam 3.0." Duh!

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