When I'm busy, writing is the first thing that suffers, and it's often one of the things that I should be working on the most. It helps me in so many ways. I always feel calmer, more collected, my head in order ( Read more... )

I haven't written here in ages. It's been over two years. The last time I wrote was right around the time I found out Misty was pregnant, and my responses were less than complimentary. Now so many things have changed, and my life is again going in a different direction. I'm looking forward to getting settled in my new place in a few months and ( Read more... )

I have always wanted to write something people will talk about. Write a diary that a million people will read. Create a book that will make the reader stop afterword and think, "wow, that was interesting." I wanted, no be honest, want a part of me to live on, something about me to be famous, have people remember me. Is it just about fear of death?  ( Read more... )

I don't write in here much anymore. Things have been so busy. I've been working a lot, trying to make ends meet and to someday improve things so that I can be better and such. I was thinking a lot last night about my grandma, and my family and how they treated me when I was up there. I felt like a second class citizen. I mean, they always said I  ( Read more... )

I was watching Rock of Love last night with Misty and I have to say I have a real love hate relationship with those things. They are interesting in a sort of sick way...here we are watching other people's drama and staged reality, you can't help but feel for them and the things that they go through, but the concept in general, how in the hell could ( Read more... )

Should've fucking practiced more. Should pay attention more. I should have done this when i was sixteen. Now I'm 25 and I get to be a failure. I didn't wake Misty 'cause I was so dissapointed in myself I didn't want to tell her. Fuck me. She's been wanting me to be able to drive her  for ages. I just wanted to get it and I fucked up. How stupid is ( Read more... )

That was it. That's what's missing.

The art in me. Yeah I've been living and loving and making money but a part of me has been dying. I felt ashamed in the face of the flame of their passion.

What have I been missing?

Good god.

No wonder!

Yeah I'm cryptic.

Love means putting them first in thought, word, and deed ( Read more... )

I heard you tonight. I had ONE lousy plate and fucking fork in the sink. ONE that had been sitting there for a couple of hours so that I could relax, enjoy myself and chill for a while. You came in, and I heard you say "How Hard is it to put away a plate?" Then your friend mentioned to you that I was in fact, home. Then you started speaking in ( Read more... )

Sometimes I feel like my life is out of control. I can't sleep, my eating habits are terrible, and my brain, once a prize I was proud of, is now about as efficient as...well...something terribly inefficient. I have tried to improve my life but it seems like all I ever do is spin my wheels in place. Doesn't seem to matter how determined I am....I ( Read more... )