Enchanted, parts 45-48

[kribu]

Title: Enchanted
Team Name: Spy for the Order
Word Count: 4x100
Rating: PG
Challenge: Bookmark challenge
Characters: Hermione, Severus, Ron, Harry, Madam Pomfrey
A/N: Post-DH (epilogue ignored). Unbetaed this time, so any mistakes are mine, all mine! *cackles* Previous instalments: 1-4, 5-8, 9-12, 13-16, 17-20, 21-24, 25-28, 29-32, 33-36, 37-40, 41

Comments

[ayerf]

I didn't notice any mistakes for you to claim... not that I'm at my most alert, too tired for that.

Lovely set. I get the feeling that Hermione's right about Ron's reaction. But surely the truth will out, so making Ron's reaction all the worse!

[kribu]

I'm rather too tired myself - what's the point of staying home and then working the whole day, just to get an headache and barely over 4000 words translated anyway? Okay, I took breaks, but the sheer randomness of this current work is just really wearing me out.

Thanks. I suppose she would be, too. And we'll see about the truth... it'll have to, at some point, I guess.

[septentrion1970]

I'm sure Hermione will come with a satisfying conclusion after a bit of thinking.

[kribu]

She does have a few things to figure out...

[dickgloucester]

The plot thickens! This is really enjoyable. Can't wait for more.

One small point -
"What’s up with Snape being alive" doesn't read quite smoothly. It's the 'up'. To me, "what's up" means "what's the matter". If you leave out the "up" it's better, but sounds a little AmE.

[kribu]

Hmm. I could have sworn I've seen it used quite widely in a few different meanings, such as "what's going on", or even "what is the meaning [of xxx]", but obviously I don't know!

I'll have to think about it, but I can't even think of any other way to have said it.

[dickgloucester]

Well, this is just my feeling. It's possible that in other areas of the UK they use it differently. But it kind of stuck out because usually I don't see anything that makes me stumble in your writing. I may be wrong. See what other people say.

[kribu]

I'm entirely prepared to be proven quite wrong. :-D I mean, even though I'm fairly sure I've seen it used in the sense I was going for, I have no idea if that was the correct usage!

That's really the hardest thing about writing in English - I can never be quite sure, even about things I've seen/heard used, as I don't really know if they've been used correctly or not. Could have been other foreigners, or some specific slang / regional variation, etc.

[redwine333]

Hermoine's uneasyness is just lovely, and verrry telling :)

[kribu]

I'm feeling a bit sorry for putting her through all this! Instead of just letting her be happy with Ron, at least for the few weeks/months that happiness might realistically last. ;-)

[harmony_bites]

Lovely. Telling she doesn't want to tell them. And given the way Ron went mental over the thought she *might* have kissed Viktor two years before, Hermione has every right to fear he'd react badly.

[kribu]

Yes, indeed. I think she might have told Harry the truth (and still might, although having already lied about it would make telling now much more difficult), but with Ron there, I think she felt it would have needlessly complicated things.