there's this thing that happens when you meet someone who you have a lot in common with...who's soul resonates on this intense inner level with your own. it's like, your personal vibration kicks up a few notches, you're humming at a higher speed. your body is thrumming and you feel like you could pull some sideways jackie chan flips off of the ( Read more... )

altruism vs self-satisfaction... that is the question of the day ( Read more... )

i've been through a religious re-conversion lately.

i can't deal with christianity, and i feel bad that i told my parents that i had become one. they got all hyped up, thinking i was "saved", and i hope i never have to tell them otherwise. thing is, i am very interested in the life of christ, in who he was as a person. i just can't accept all of ( Read more... )

ug!
seems difficult to get back into this after leaving off the habit for awhile. it's not so much that i have a resistance to the act of writing in my journal, i just simply forget as it's been out of my daily routine for so long.
so, i went to burningman. wasn't planning on it as i thought i was moving to san diego, and threw everything together ( Read more... )

here's the thing.
i feel like my whole life has primarily consisted of trying to prove that i'm attractive. trying to prove that i am lovable, or worthy of love, of attention, and company. i know that this is the natural result of the way i grew up...unattentive, neglective parents...intense loneliness and isolation, getting made fun of for being a ( Read more... )

gosh, i haven't posted here in a month or so. i've been busy, busy, busy, but i know that journalling is something important, something i should check in with at least every other day or so. so a short recap ( Read more... )

tomorrow i'm leaving on a short vacation to san diego. while i'm down there i'll look for jobs, meet the person i may be living with temporarily, and most importantly, surf, lay in the sunshine, dance, drink, and relax. i've been working like crazy to save money for moving so i'm looking forward to the downtime, however brief. i'm also looking ( Read more... )

i haven't been writing here much lately because i've been writing...well, everywhere else.
in the last two weeks i've had a sudden surge of inspiration, and a bloom of confidence in my ability. it's hit me dead-center that i'm not supposed to be in the line of work that i am...there's nothing i'd rather do in the mean time to make money as at least ( Read more... )

lately i have been experiencing this shift towards unusual honesty in my interactions with people. i hear the things that come out of my mouth and i surprise myself.

on thursday i left work and headed to happy-hour. there i found myself involved in a very candid conversation with a guy in the navy, visiting with his crew from--of all places--san ( Read more... )

Slowly surely,
I walk away from
that old desperate and dazed love
caught up in the maze of love
the crazy craze of love
thought it was good
thought it was real
thought it was
but it wasn't love

I just don't know
Where i should go
So
Slowly surely
I walk away from
self-serving
undeserving
constantly hurting me love
deserting me ( Read more... )