The love that almost was (6/7)
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A/N This chapter has been a pain in the you-know-what for weeks. I haven't been able to find any flow in it and tonight I just decided to finish it with sheer will-power. Therefore I can't say that I'm content with how it turned out, but at least it's done. I apologize if it has more flaws than a turkey after Christmas Day. If you haven't read the previous chapter, this probably wont make any sense. (Just a tip;) ) Thal honey, this is for you. Thank you for kicking my a** into the writing den this evening ;)
I gave you my love in vain
My body never knew such pleasure,
My heart never knew such pain.
A few days had past. Days that had made Callie believe that life was a cruel and evil game someone was playing with her. As if losing her daughter wasn’t bad enough she hadn’t been able to recover from the fever that had been draining her for days. She hated being hospitalized and sick. This morning George had come earlier than he used to, to take her down to see Dr. Walsh.
“Callie……George…..I asked to see both of you this morning because I have something I need to discuss with you. During the autopsy of your daughter we found that the cause of death was a major heart attack; something that was caused by poisoning.”
The words shot through Callie like electricity
“Poisoning? From what?”
“Wormwood mostly, but also some other herbs that’s been known to terminate pregnancies which is why I have to ask ….Callie, did you take those herbs on purpose?”
“No!” Callie cried out as Dr. Walsh tried to keep his professional distance even though he felt for her and didn’t want to believe that she was capable of what he suspected.
“Are you absolutely sure about that? The way these herbs were put together made it pretty obvious that it was done to abort the baby, something that is very dangerous to with a pregnancy as far along as 25 weeks”
Callie couldn't fight the tears while George kept quiet and looked at his wife
“Dr. Walsh we just lost our child, and now you’re asking me if I di-“
“Do you really hate me that much Callie?”
The look that George gave Callie was filled with doubt and tears.
“What?” Callie was confused
“I mean…I know I betrayed you and everything; I hurt you really bad - I get that but what I did to you is nothing compared to what you did to me; to our daughter!”
Callie couldn’t believe the words coming from his mouth
“George, you have got to be kidding me? How can you think that I would have done anything to hurt our daughter?”
George’s state of shock was suddenly transformed into rage as he yelled at her:
“You heard the man - the herbs were perfectly combined to kill her. You’re a doctor Callie, it doesn’t take that much to figure out that if you wanted to do this, you would know how to do it.”
Callie shook her head and stared at him as her crying made it hard to get the words out
“I can’t believe you’re saying this to me. Can you hear yourself right now? You don’t think that I - being the doctor that you so cynically just pointed out that I am - would know better ways to terminate a pregnancy than to take some herbs at the end of my second trimester?
George calmed down and for a moment he seemed to believe her but then his face changed again and he looked at his wife with hatred and disgust in his eyes.
“I don’t even know who you are anymore”
With those words he stood up and walked out on his wife.
****************
A few hours later Izzie found George on the bathroom floor in Meredith’s house. She sat down beside him and let him put his head on her lap. For awhile she let him cry out all the sorrow and pain that needed to get out and when he had no more tears to cry he told her about how his wife had taken the life of their daughter.
“I’m so sorry George”
“I can’t believe that she did this to our child. To our daughter!”
Izzie let a dry, scornful laugh pass her lips.
“Oh I can definitely believe it, that woman would do anything to get back at you for falling in love with me. Do you remember the day when I thought she wanted to fight me in the cafeteria?”
George sat up and let his head rest against the wall as he closed his eyes
“As if I could forget”
“She said some stuff to me later that day”
“She did? You never told me that?”
“It was mostly garbage, nothing to remember but there was something about the hatred in her eyes when she called me a ‘traitorous bitch’ that made me believe she was capable of any revenge”
George opened his eyes and looked at Izzie in disbelief
“It’s like I never knew her at all”
“Believe me George, you’re so much better off without her. I know that you’re grieving the loss of your daughter but honestly George; would you want that little girl to have to go through life with Callie as her mother?”
“I really thought I did, I thought that Callie was the perfect woman, the perfect mother”
“Yeah, well perfect people doesn’t take wormwood and tansy to kill their babies”
“Tansy? I never said she took tansy. Dr. Walsh just said that she took wormwood and some other herbs”
“Oh......well I just assumed, I guess-”
Izzie was interrupted when her beeper went off.
“I have to get back to the hospital, are you going to be alright for now?”
“Yeah, I think so; I just need to get some sleep”
“I put clean sheets in my bed so you make yourself comfortable there okay?”
“Thank you”
“Don’t mention it”
********************
Mark had been the one to pick Callie up from the floor in Dr. Walsh’s office were she had broke down in tears after George left. He had carried her back to bed where she now was crying hysterically in his arms
“Callie….Callie please calm down and talk to me”
It took a while, but eventually she was able to talk through her sobs.
“He thinks I killed her Mark”
“What?”
“George, he thinks I deliberately took our daughters life by….”
“Callie….look at me if he thinks that, if he so much as for one second considers the possibility that you did this on purpose, he clearly has no idea who you are”
“That’s what he said…that he doesn’t know who I am anymore”
“He may not know, but I do. You are Calliope Iphegenia Torres - a loving, kind and strong woman. A woman who is committed to the people that she loves and who would go through hell to make sure that they are okay. I also know how much you wanted this baby and that you think life is sacred enough to never for one moment consider any kind of abortion no matter what.”
“Too bad my husband doesn’t know that”
At that point Mark realized that Callie was in no shape to take in anything he had to say, so he decided that the best he could do for her in that moment was to stay as close to her as possible and to let her feel that he was there whenever he needed her.
He tried to block out all images of him killing O’Malley with his bare hands for doing this to her, but somehow they seemed to come naturally to him.
***************
It was dark outside when George woke up in Izzie’s bed later that night. He instantly remembered where he was and why he was there. As he thought about his beautiful daughter his eyes watered up and he whispered quietly to himself:
“I’m so sorry babygirl……I’m so sorry. If I hadn’t betrayed your mother she wouldn’t have felt the need to get back at me by doing this to you. I know that you’re surrounded by all the angels in heaven now and I know that they will take good care of you until I’ll get there. Daddy will always love you Calligenia and there won’t be a day in my life that I won’t hate myself for not protecting you. I’m sorry…..so sorry baby”
George buried his face in the pillow and wept for his little girl as he felt something hard under his hips. He got up and lifted the mattress and saw a book underneath it.
He picked up the book and frowned his forehead as he read the title of the book
“Herbal medicine? Since when is Izzie interested in herbal medicine?”
He flipped through the book and gasped for air as his eyes fell on the chapter page.
The chapter with the title “Tansy” had been highlighted.