The love that almost was 5/?
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4
Dr. Alexander Walsh had been an obstetrician for almost 20 years. Still - he never got used to saying what he was about to say to the couple in front of him.
“Drs. Torres and O’Malley, I’m so sorry to have to inform you of this, but there’s no heartbeat, your baby is d-”
“NOOOOOOO!”
The panicked cry of sheer emotional pain coming from Callie’s lungs was the most gruesome thing George had ever heard.
“Callie…”
He tried to hold her, but she just looked at him with panic and disbelief in her eyes.
“George, do something! Please stop him from saying things like that. Make it stop George!”
George could no longer fight the tears that were overwhelming his eyes.
“I can’t baby, I wish I could make this go away and make everything alright but I can’t”
“Nooooo! Oh my God, noooo!” Callie was crying and shaking uncontrollably and finally let George hold her as the painful truth began
to sink in for both of them - their baby was dead.
It was as time had stopped and someone had let all of the oxygen out of the room. Callie tried to remember how to breathe as she felt George’s chest tremble as he cried into her hair.
Neither of them knew how long they clanged to each other like that, but after a while they looked up when they heard Miranda Bailey’s soft voice.
“Callie…….George….…I can only imagine what you’re going through right now…… and it kills me to have to say this, but we need to induce the labor as soon as possible to prevent you from getting cadaveric infection Callie”
A new wave of panic and terror hit Callie and she looked up at George.
“I can’t do this George….I can’t give birth to this baby…… Not now……..I’m not ready!”
He kissed her forehead and called on every bit of strength in him to stop the tears from falling down his cheeks as he softly held her
face in his hands.
“You can……You are the strongest woman I know, and you can do this Callie”
There was something about the look of love and calmness in his eyes that made Callie calm down a bit as Bailey continued:
“I promise you that we will give you as much pain relieving meds as it takes to make this a pain free delivery Callie. I can’t make the emotional pain go away, but I promise you that you do have the strength in you to get through this.”
Callie looked at Bailey with a weak smile of gratitude and for the first time in the years she had known Bailey it felt right to call her by her first name.
“Miranda can you stay with us?”
“I’m not going anywhere” Bailey said as she softly placed her right hand on Callie’s cheek and looked at her with maternal love.
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After eight long hours of induced labor Callie was exhausted. George was sitting behind her trying to support her when she was pushing, and letting her rest against his chest in-between contractions.
“Callie honey, look at me.” Miranda said from where she was sitting between Callie’s legs. “You’re almost done and you’re doing so great. The baby will come out with the next push, I promise, just one more pu-”
Miranda’s words were drowned as Callie cried out in pain and sorrow as the wave of contraction hit her. She pushed harder than she ever imagined she was able to do. Just as she felt sure of the fact that she was dying, it was all over and a tiny little baby girl was placed on her chest.
There was not a single person in the room who could hold back the tears as they looked at the lifeless little black-haired angel in Callie’s and George’s arms
“She’s so beautiful George” Callie said as the tears were streaming down her cheeks
“She looks just like you Callie, how could she be anything but beautiful?” George whispered
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Hours later when Callie had been cleaned up and George had bathed and dressed their daughter in a tiny little red dress; they were left alone in the room with their daughter. Callie was sitting up on the bed holding the tiny little girl in her arms as she was leaning against George’s chest under the protecting arm he held around her shoulders.
“George…..Why did this happen to us?”
“I don’t have the answer to that question baby, I wish I did”
“What did I do wrong? I did everything that Addison told me. Do you think that this somehow happened because I wasn’t happy with it at first?”
“Don’t say that. You did absolutely nothing wrong, you took care of her in every way when she was inside of you”
“Then why isn’t she still in there living and growing? ” Callie said as they both cried silently for awhile.
“She needs a name” Callie said after another hour.
“She does, do you have any suggestions?”
“It should mean something”
“….well…. how about a name that means ‘daughter of beauty’ ”
“There’s a name that actually means that?”
“Yeah”
“What is it?”
“Calligenia” George smiled at her as she looked down on their daughter.
“I know that Calliope means ‘beautiful voice’ so I guess it makes sense that Calligenia means ‘daughter of beauty’……It’s perfect George”
“A perfect name for a perfect little girl” George said as he kissed the top of his wife’s head when she started to talk to their daughter in the softest tone of voice he had ever heard.
“Calligenia baby…..I’m so sorry that I never had the chance to give you everything I wanted to give you. If you only knew how much I’ve dreamed of you my precious daughter. I love you so much”
“We both do” George said as the tears started to fall from his eyes once again.
“Mommy and daddy have to say goodbye for now okay sweetie?” George said as Callie kissed her daughters tiny, but perfect lips one last time” Just please always know that you are our angel and that we love you more then anything. We will never forget you baby.”
Moments later Calligenia O’Malley was taken away from her mothers arms forever.
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Late that evening, Callie heard a knock on the door to her room and as she turned around she saw Mark standing in the doorway
“Is this a bad time?”
Mark looked prepared to leave just as fast as he had arrived but Callie sat up in bed and made a gesturing wave with her hand for him to come in.
“No it’s fine, I just sent George home to get some sleep”
Callie looked exhausted as Mark sat down on the bedside and kissed her forehead. He was just about to open his mouth but she beat him to it.
“I haven’t seen you in weeks, where have you been?”
“I had to get away for a while to….oh…….it’s not important. How are you feeling?”
They looked deep into each others eyes.
“I feel as if my world just stopped and I don’t think I want it to ever start again”
“I’m so sorry Callie, I wish there was something I could have done”
“You were right though” Callie smiled through the tears that slowly began to fall again.
“About what?” Mark said as his right hand stroked the tears away from her cheeks.
“I had a little girl”
“Tadpole was a chick after all?” He smiled at her as his eyes were filled with tears
“Tadpole was a Calligenia”
“Beautiful name for what I can imagine must have been a little angel”
At that point the walls of Callie’s heart and soul just caved and she broke down crying so hard that her entire body was shaking.
Mark didn’t have to think, he just acted on what felt natural to do, which was to take her in his arms and gently lay down on the bed while holding her close to his heart.
“I’ve got you, I’ve got you…… let it all come out…..I’m here and I’m not going anywhere” He whispered as he rocked her softly with his lips against her hair.
After what seemed to be an eternity, Callie fell asleep on Mark’s chest and moments later he let his head rest against her head and fell asleep as well.