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weird things in my head
In these difficult times are you finding it hard to make ends meet? Could you use a little extra for those unexpected expenses life can throw at you? Or maybe you just need a vacation. A chance to get away from it all and relax. We here at "Cash 4 Corpses" can help. We'll pay you today for your body when your done with it. So you can enjoy ( Read more... ) -
Sucessful defence of the old homestead
This year after much labor and toil, I was well prepared for battle. I was in position with my night vision goggles just waiting for the first sighting of the enemy when the clock hit 12:01 a.m. Easter morn. They were out there. I could smell the sugary sweetness on the wind. It wouldn't be much longer now. Then the first bright yellow marshmallow ( Read more... ) -
That "special" time of the month
We all know that once a month there comes that “special” time. When you are maybe just a little more irritable and well you just don’t feel as “fresh”. We here at WereCo understand and have just what you need!
WereCo odor neutralizing body wash will make you howl for joy! Whether you’re rushing through your busy day at the office or waking up in a ( Read more... ) -
Tribbles
A brief excerpt from Cyrano Jones’s soon to be released book “One Million and One Uses for Tribbles”.
Earmuffs
Paperweight
Book end
Trumpet mute
Broom
Packing peanuts
Sponge
Attic insulation
Shoulder pads
Door stop
Mop
Rearview mirror ornament
Duster
Paintbrush
Sexual aid
Contraceptive aid
Wine cork
Hunting bola
Drain stopper
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L.A. bus riding
It is 5 p.m. and time to begin the journey home. I am standing at the bus stop, sizing up the people waiting with me and trying to surreptitiously stretch my muscles. There are two teenage girls busy texting each other and giggling while they wait. A big guy I’ve named Guido in my head due to his thick black pompadoured hair and impressive stomach ( Read more... ) -
The care and feeding of Zombies.
Congratulations on your recent purchase of a Zombie! It is our hope that your new Zombie will enrich your life. We would like to take this opportunity to provide you with some basic Zombie care guidelines. There is no reason your Zombie should not last for years with just a little basic maintenance and some recommended precautions. Please read the ( Read more... ) -
Like the worst day like EVER!
So like my BFF, Trish, and I were like at the Mall. And like we found these like super cute bikinis. And like Trish was all like let’s like go to the beach! And like I was all like OMG like Yeah! But like my mom was like being like so mean. And like she was all like I have to like go to work today and I can’t like drive you. And like OMG like ( Read more... ) -
Fed up
Why is it so many people just don't think!! I am tired of people who can not be bothered to take basic precautions! Really, I am just fed up with it. I mean every day its the same thing. I get on the subway and there is some idiot crouching in the rear of the car screaming for help. I mean come on. How hard is it to rub some garlic on your neck and ( Read more... ) -
Weight loss and denial
O.K. here's the deal. I got on my scale this morning and it said 161 pounds. This means that since July I have piled on 21 pounds. 26 pounds from July 2008. Of course I have been aware of this. I have said more than once I needed to get a hold of myself and stop eating all this crap. Then I would have just a little more crap because it might be ( Read more... ) -
Free Kindle books on Amazon.com
Yesterday, I did not go to work because I had Jury duty. Happily, the defendant took a plea deal. I got to leave by 11a.m. and still got credited for my yearly jury duty. Win/win. I get home and decide to check out the Kindle store on Amazon.com.
*Lateral topic shift here- I LOVE my Kindle. Originally, I was very anti-E-book reader. I love the ( Read more... )